Author's note: I realize there is a gap in the story…I promise to post the missing scenes soon.
I was at Joe's alone trying to piece myself back together like any good surgeon when she walked in. She was alone, and she stole my breath. She had worn her hair curly, or natural, as I like to think of it; and I really wanted to run my fingers through it and then grab it in a fist…pull her against me…and…
"Erica…Okay…Erica…Listen to me…Yoo-Hoo…Erica."
I looked at her, urging her without words to go on. My heart was beating extremely fast and my hands were shaking. I picked up the darts on the table so she wouldn't see.
"Look, I've been avoiding you, but when Addison was here, she said that…"
Okay, now we have my full attention.
"Well…she implied,"
I didn't know in that moment if I wanted her to figure out the puzzle that our relationship had become, all I really knew was that my response to what Callie was about to say needed to be perfect; and Oscar worthy.
"That we…that I was…that um…you and I might be lesbians." She finished in a rush.
Awkward silence…come on stupid laugh or your best friend will probably walk out of you life forever. So I did the only thing I could…I gave my best awkward laugh, and thanked the academy.
-- -- --
I cried my way home that night, and when I got there I took a really good long hot bubble bath and then cried myself to sleep.
Dream Sequence
Her lips were as soft and full as they looked, and she tasted like heaven. Her dark hair cascaded around us as she pushed me down and thourghly went to work kissing me with unbridled passion. Her eyes were alight with life and love; was speechless, but the only thing that mattered was she was here, and she was kissing me, and I loved her…
End Dream
I bolted upright, straight out of bed; throwing on sweats as I went. Out the door; I just needed to run. Run from the truth my dream had given me; run from the fear and excitement I felt. A good run was just what I needed. So I ran, and kept going. I knew, or rather felt; that if I stopped everything would catch up with me, and if it caught me I would be consumed; swallowed whole, and my life would be forever changed.
I ran…and ran…and ended up at work. The place, with the people, who were screwing up my carefully orchestrated life. I hate my life, sometime, especially at this moment…so I take a deep breath, shake my fist at the sky, square my shoulders, and hope for some really good traumas. Maybe surgery will get my head on straight; otherwise, I'm going to need the worlds best shrink.
-- -- --
The morning had gone remarkably well; Callie and I had some funny moments; just between the two of us—basically we're together in this big conspiracy to get the old Mark back; he keeps talking about turning over a new leaf; whatever; we liked him when he was just a man-hoer
Callie asked if we could start doing lunches again. So with my new found tenacity; a salad I had bought, and the hope of regaining my friendship I head off to find Callie.
What do you know; she's sitting with Mark. I better make this good.
"Shove over Sloan, Torres and I are going to share a saffic salad."
"Did I miss something?"
Okay, so I was playing this up; I was doing everything short of licking my fork in inappropriate ways.
And bless Callie she didn't miss a beat.
"Yeah, we're lovers…didn't you know?"
"It's a love that dare not speak its name." I said with my tongue wrapped around my straw; this was so fun.
"Look me in the eye and tell me you're not thinking about a threesome." Callie was daring Mark, almost pushing him over the edge.
"I'm not…" he couldn't hold eye contact to save his life. "The old Mark would but, that's no more."
"Really you're not thinking about her, and me, and you…and a video camera?"
Mark had walked away, bit into his apple, picked up his tray and left…and we laughed. Laughed like B.A. (Before Addison); before I started lying through my teeth, before I fell in love with my best friend, and before a threesome with Mark was ever in the picture.
It was good to be back!
There were a few awkward moments at lunch where Callie seemed more entertained by talking about Sloan, than talking with me. But I was the one eating lunch with her, and not him…well not anymore.
-- -- --
From then on the day was kind of a blur. I'd been busy being Erica Hahn 'heart god' and wasn't thinking much of anything as I got on the elevator; Callie was there but she wouldn't meet my eye. So we rode in silence until the doors opened again and Mark Sloan got on.
I glanced over at Mark and Callie. The picture was different, something had changed. Maybe we were all just tired and our defenses were down maybe…
"He's thinking about a threesome."
Her words make me smile, I can't help it.
"Am not." Came Mark's quick reply.
"Yes you are…He has been all day…"
Callie's cheeks were a little flushed, and Mark was a fidgety as I'd ever seen him. I had no clue how heated this discussion might become; but a wicked thought had entered my mind…
"Okay, fine…I got a new leaf not a lobotomy."
"You couldn't handle the two of us." My brain was working over time. Just how far could I take this. So far the banter had just been banter; but I was about to up the stakes in this game.
"Oh I could…I won't…but I could."
Well good for Mark, he wasn't backing down, but neither was I. This should cook your goose really well Mark.
"You wouldn't find it intimidating." I had a plan, somewhere during this repartee, my brain had come up with a brilliant plan; but if it backfired, there would be heavy consequences.
"Not at all."
I reached out slowly toward Callie, my fingers tracing the curve of her cheek. Lightning crackled in my veins as my fingers made contact. I turned her quickly to me so I wouldn't lose my nerve, and brushed my lips to hers. She didn't stiffen like I thought she would. The world stood still, and my heart was like thunder in my ears.
I pulled away before being carried away.
"See, too much for you." Mark's jaw was on the ground.
I exited the elevator, and my words hung in the air, and the longer I thought about them the more I realized I wasn't just saying those words to Mark. I had said them to all three of us.