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Lyrics are in italics, song is 'The Reason' by Hoobastank
Chapter 4-To Change
That afternoon at Glee rehearsal, Puck found himself unable to fully concentrate on the choreography. Mr. Schue had positioned them all so that Puck was behind Kurt thereby giving the mohawked teen a perfect view of Kurt's ass. So of course, Puck was heavily distracted by the seductive swaying of Kurt's hips.
"Puck, is everything ok?" Mr. Schue asked on the fifth run-through where Puck messed up again.
"It's fine." Puck replied as the other members stared at him expectantly.
"Are you sure?" Quinn asked in amusement knowing full well what had Puck so flustered. "You seem really distracted today."
"Kurt has a really nice ass ok; I can't stop staring at it." Puck admitted causing the girls to giggle, Kurt to blush and the other males in the room to sub-consciously sneak a look at Kurt's buttocks.
"Thank you for sharing that with us Puck." Mr. Schue said somewhat uncomfortably. "How about you switch places with Mike? Perhaps then you'll be able to concentrate."
With a slightly disappointed nod, Puck swapped places with Mike and moved to stand behind Tina instead. After that, Puck was able to concentrate fully and the rehearsal passed by a lot smoother.
When they successfully got through the number without any mistakes, Mr. Schue applauded them enthusiastically with a huge grin on his face.
"Great job guys." He told them encouragingly. "That's exactly the way we need to do it in order to beat Vocal Adrenaline."
"Oh please, we could beat those losers in our sleep." Mercedes said confidently. "They might have a splash of talent but we've got heart and soul."
"And killer outfits." Kurt added.
"Ok, good practice guys." Mr. Schue said. "Have a safe trip home everyone. Puck, can I talk to you for a sec?"
Groaning, Puck slouched over to the piano with his bag slung over his shoulder and his guitar case in hand. The others left leaving Puck alone with the Spanish teacher.
"So, any chance of you telling me what's bothering you yet?" Mr. Schue asked.
Puck just shrugged in response as he scuffed his sneakers on the carpet.
"Then let me have a guess." Mr. Schue said as he placed a hand on Puck's shoulder which was instantly shaken off by the teen. "You have feelings for Kurt."
At this remark, Puck looked up. Mr. Schue's kind eyes were soft and understanding and they encouraged Puck to nod his head in confirmation.
"There's nothing wrong with being gay Puck, and it's not as scary as it may seem right now." Mr. Schue told him.
"I'm not gay." Puck spoke up causing the teacher to quirk an eyebrow. "I'm not." He insisted. "It's not other dudes I'm in to, it's just Kurt and he's practically a girl anyway. Besides, that's not what the problem is."
"Then what is the problem?" Mr. Schue asked gently. "Maybe I can help."
"You can't." Puck replied shaking his head. "Kurt's too stubborn. He won't be with me because he doesn't want me to get queer-bashed by the other guys. I've tried telling him that I don't care what people say or do but he won't change his mind. He thinks he's protecting me."
"I could try talking to Kurt for you if you'd like." Mr. Schue offered.
"What's the point? No offense, but he won't listen to you." Puck said. "He always follows his head or heart or whatever and does what he wants to do. He never lets anyone else change his mind. That's part of what I love about him."
"Love?" Mr. Schue repeated in shock as his eyebrows rose dramatically.
"Yeah, what?" Puck asked defensively.
"Nothing." Mr. Schue replied. "I'm just surprised someone as young as you would use such a strong word. For most kids your age relationships are all about lust and sex. With your reputation I'd never have guessed you'd fall in love at such a young age. Least of all with Kurt."
"Well jerks can fall in love too." Puck told him. "Santana says I just need to do something dramatic to show Kurt how I feel and that I don't care about the jocks or anybody else."
"That might be a good idea." Mr. Schue agreed thoughtfully. "Any ideas what you might do?"
"Not yet." Puck sighed. "But I'll think of something. Can I go now? I'm supposed to pick my sister up, she's probably worrying."
"Of course." Mr. Schue nodded and Puck stalked towards the door. "And Puck," He called just before the teen left. "I'm always here if you need to talk."
"Yeah, whatever." Puck mumbled. "Later Mr. Schue."
Puck made his way quickly out to the parking lot and shoved his things into the back of his truck before climbing in and starting the engine. He flicked the stereo on and drummed his fingers on the steering wheel as he made the short drive to Sarah's school.
A few minutes later he parked up before climbing out and rushing up to the school gates. Across the playground, he spied his little sister sat on a bench alongside Finn. As he neared closer to them he heard the two of them singing.
"Noah!" Sarah yelled happily when she spotted him.
She jumped up from her seat on the bench and launched herself into her big brother's arms.
"Hey, how's my favourite girl?" Puck asked as he set her back down on her feet and took her hand.
"Good. Me and Finn were singing." Sarah informed him as she took hold of the taller boy's hand too and skipped across the playground towards Puck's truck.
"Yeah, I heard." Puck said.
"She's got quite a good voice your little sis." Finn complimented and Sarah beamed at the praise. "I figured I'd keep her company for a while. I didn't want her to be alone whilst you were having a talk with Schue."
"Thanks dude." Puck replied.
"Can Finn come round for dinner?" Sarah asked.
"He'd better not." Puck told her gently. "I don't think mum's in the mood for visitors today."
"That's cool, why don't you two come round mine?" Finn suggested. "Tonight's spaghetti night and my mum makes great meatballs."
"I love spaghetti." Sarah commented. "Please can we go to Finn's, Noah? I'll be good, I promise."
Puck looked down at his sister and she smiled wetly up at him batting her eyelashes. He hated when she did that, he could never say 'no' when she looked at him that way and the little Puckerman knew it too.
"Ok, sure." Puck agreed and Sarah squealed in delight before releasing the two boys' hands and running the rest of the way to the truck.
The three of them drove to Finn's house and as soon as Sarah had said a 'hello' to Finn's mum the little girl was stampeding upstairs to Finn's bedroom to play on his Xbox.
"I bet I can beat you Finn!" Sarah yelled out challengingly.
"Not this time little lady!" Finn called back as he took the stairs two at a time to join her.
Meanwhile, Puck joined Finn's mum in the kitchen asking if she needed any help.
"Don't be silly Noah; you go on upstairs with Finn and Sarah." She said kindly.
"Well Carole, if you need anything just let me know." Puck replied.
"You're such a sweet boy." Carole said as she pinched the mohawked boy's cheek. "Now go on up and have some fun."
Puck joined his sister in Finn's bedroom where she was easily beating the older boy.
"Look Noah, I'm winning again." Sarah told him proudly.
"Dude, I think your sister's cheating somehow. There's no way a chick can be this good at computer games." Finn complained as flashing letters across the screen announced that he had just lost.
Finn then handed the control pad over to Puck and he played against his sister. Just like Finn, Puck lost, but he insisted that he was just being a gentleman and letting the lady win. After that Puck and Finn played against each other and Puck had just won the game when Carole called up to them that dinner was ready.
The four sat down together at the dinner table as they ate their spaghetti and meatballs. Sarah directed most of the conversation whilst Puck enjoyed his food and the feeling he got from being with Finn and his mum. It was almost like he and Sarah belonged to their family. In Puck's mind, this was how things should be. It was never like this at home with his own mother. She was either out at work or too drunk to cook meaning that Puck had to sort something out so that he and Sarah wouldn't starve.
At the end of the meal, Puck helped Carole with the dishes. It was getting dark outside. He'd have to take Sarah home soon and force her to have a bath before bed. He didn't want to go home but he knew he had to.
After saying goodbye to Carole, Puck and Sarah made their way to Puck's truck along with Finn. The tall boy hugged Sarah goodbye and helped her strap her seatbelt in before turning to face Puck.
"Dude, can we go back to being best friends again?" Finn asked.
"Sure man." Puck grinned offering his hand to Finn with the intention of sharing a manly hand-shake but Finn converted it to a man-hug. "Later dude." He said as he patted his friend on the back before slipping into the driver seat of his truck.
That night, after he had put Sarah to bed, Puck attempted a few pieces of his homework. He got bored after fifteen minutes and took out his diary instead. He wrote a little about his day, including his reconciliation with Finn. He then flipped back through the book to one of the entries he'd written just before he'd joined Glee.
I don't want to be the badass jock anymore. Don't get me wrong, I am a badass, just see my guns. But I'm sick of being the school bully you know. I'm actually quite a sensitive guy beneath the smirk and the mohawk. Since joining that Glee club, Finn's been different. He's better, happier. I want to be better and happier too, even if Glee is the lamest thing in the world.
Puck stopped reading and flipped back to the next available page and continued writing.
I've wanted to change for a while now. Well, not really change, more like develop or whatever. To be honest, the 'Puck' most people know is kind of a fake. I don't want to be the bullying womanising stud anymore. All I want is to be me and fuck what other people think. It's time I stop talking, or writing, about wanting to change and actually do it. It's time to stand up and show everyone the real me. It's time to be Noah again, not just for myself, for Kurt too.
I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
And the reason is you
To Be Continued
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