It's done! Aren't you proud of me? Enjoy! Feedback is always appreciated.

It was a few months later, towards the end of October, that Toby came barging into his meadow screaming his name enthusiastically as he was mid-dive. Instinctively he tried to pull up, but the momentum of his flight stopped him, sending him tumbling to the ground instead. He cursed as he watched the rabbit he was pursuing hop away. Annoyed, he looked up at Toby's sheepish face.

((You needed me?)) he asked, as he stood up and tried to fix his ruffled feathers with his beak.

"Sorry," she said. Her sheepish look was gone and she looked excited once again. "Someone's here to see you!"

He looked up at her and tilted his head to the side. ((But Cassie isn't due to come for a few weeks.)) And she seemed too excited for this to be simply another visit from Cassie, he thought.

Sure enough, a voice that definitely didn't sound like Cassie said, ((That's because I am not Cassie.)) Tobias froze at the familiar voice. For what felt like a minute, he felt his heart stop before it started beating again, at a faster pace.

((Ax?)) he asked, his voice sounding hoarse even though he was talking in thought-speak. A northern harrier soared down next to him.

((Yes,)) he said simply before he began to demorph. Slowly, his best friend emerged beside him. ((I need to reset my morphing time, but I was hoping you would agree to go flying with me.))

((Yeah, okay.)) He didn't trust himself to say anything else, his heart still pounding dangerously fast. Instead, he watched his friend remorph. Once the morph was complete, he shouted out ((Thanks, Toby)), before taking off for Ax to follow.

For a few minutes, neither of them said anything, each too focused on what they wanted to say to the other but neither of them daring to say it. In a moment of bitter nostalgia, Tobias tried to convince himself that they were flying in comfortable silence headed towards the mall.

Eventually, Ax said, ((This is a very nice forest. Much nicer than the one back in California. However, I must say, I am quite disappointed that I have not seen any yellow stones.))

Despite himself, Tobias laughed. ((Yellowstone is just the name of the park, Ax-man.))

((I know,)) said Ax, and Tobias could hear the smile in his voice.

Just like that, half of the tension dissipated, and Tobias allowed himself to relax. And, against his better judgement, he let his suppressed excitement bubble up. ((What have you been up to?)) he asked Ax. ((I mean, it's been… awhile.)) One year and seven months to be exact, not that he had been counting.

Ax launched into a story about how he had spent months in his homeworld, before being stationed in the hork-bajir homeworld for eight months. He explained how even though the main war was over, there were still bands of Yeerk rebels terrorizing some planets. He told him that a particular group had given them a hard time but how they had eventually chased them to the Taxxon homeworld and captured them. He told him about the Taxxon rebellion, and even though Tobias already knew this, that Arbron had had an important part in the Taxxon war.

((And how's your ship?)) Tobias asked him, which was the closest he could get to ((When are we leaving?))

Ax's ship was called the Intrepid. Ax launched into a detailed explanation about her design that Tobias didn't really follow along. He spoke about her smooth transition into Z-space and how her weapons rivaled the blade ship itself and how there could not possibly be a better ship for him. His voice was full of adoration. Tobias snickered to himself and had to resist the urge to ask Ax if he was going to be the best man at the wedding.

Eventually, as they soared over the clearing that the hork-bajir called home, Tobias was able to summon up enough courage to break Ax's tangent on the Intrepid's speed and asked him, ((So, what do your parents think about all of this? About me being their grandson?))

Ax didn't respond immediately, and for a second Tobias foolishly hoped that it was because he hadn't heard him. Tobias tipped his wings sideways a bit, gliding closer to Ax. ((I think they just need time to adjust themselves to this new knowledge.))

Tobias felt his stomach drop. What a surprise, he almost said. My family doesn't want to see me. Instead, he asked, ((Time? How much time?)) Ax remained silent enough for Tobias to know that he wasn't going to the Andalite homeworld anytime soon. He took a deep breath trying to steady his voice and keep any emotion out. ((What did they say?))

((You have to understand, according to our tradition it is un-))

((Ax. What did they say?))

By his silence, Tobias knew that Ax was trying to find a way not to hurt his feelings too much. ((They refused to accept that Elfangor would have an illegitimate child. They said that if you insisted with that nonsense, they would refuse to let you into their home.)) Tobias knew that they had said a lot more than that, but he didn't ask anything else.

Instead, he said in mock peppiness, ((Figures. Whelp. Not like I'm not used to that.)) Still, he was unable to keep the pain out of his voice. He mentally added Noorlin and Forlay's names into his growing list of relatives who wanted nothing to do with him. He briefly wondered if Elfangor qualified for the list or not.

((Tobias, my parents are very... traditional. Illegitimate children, interspecies relationship... They are what you would call a taboo. But my parents are also kind. And they do value family. I am sure they will come to accept you. They just need time.))

But Tobias wasn't sure if he was willing to give them that. After all, Loren knew about his existence all his life. His aunt and uncle had plenty of time with him. And none of them had decided he was worth it. He didn't think he was willing to get his hopes up again.

((I truly am sorry,)) Ax said.

((It's not your fault. I'm sure you tried.)) Then, in a sardonic tone, he added ((Guess I better go unpack.))

((Actually… That is what I wanted to converse with you about.)) Ax said, after a moment of hesitation. At his tone, Tobias held his breath, ready to crush this new glimmer of hope in a moment's notice. ((I have been assigned to a new mission and I tho-))

((Yes,)) Tobias said without a second thought. This time, he let his excitement seep into his voice. ((I always wanted to witness a real-life space battle,)) he said, almost giddy. ((You'd think that being in an intergalactic war, we'd get to see them on a regular-))

((Wait, I did not mean tha-)) Ax tried to interrupt, but Tobias wasn't listening anymore, or rather didn't want to listen, too caught up in his excitement, too scared of it being taken away.

((- basis. Of course, ideally, I wouldn't be in the ship being attacked, but we've survived worse. And it's not just like if we could-))

((Tobias!)) Ax almost shouted. ((That is not what I meant. You are not coming with me on this mission.))

Tobias stopped, his voice wavering. ((But you said tha-))

((You did not let me finish. What I meant was, that when I finish this mission, I am leaving the andalite military. But the Intrepid is mine. It was a gift given to me in gratitude of my services here at Earth. Afterwards, if you want, we can leave. You said once that you wanted to go on what you referred to as an "intergalactic road trip." We can do that. If you still want to, of course.))

They were flying over a lake now. Red-tailed hawks weren't aquatic birds, but the water was clear enough that he could make out a family of fish underneath, near the surface of the water. Tobias did want to go on a roadtrip. But- ((You can't just quit the military, Ax. It's always been your dream to become a Prince.))

The family of fish quickly swam deeper underneath, out of Tobias's field of vision, probably because they had felt their shadows soaring above them. ((No,)) Ax said softly, after they had left the lake behind them. ((I just thought that it was.))

Whenever they had talked about their future, Ax had always chattered excitedly about how it would be an honor to become a Prince. He had said that he hoped to be as famous and successful as his brother. Tobias had listened attentively, of course, and never failed to notice the awe and admiration in Ax's voice whenever he mentioned Tobias's father. Now, he thought maybe it wasn't being a Prince that Ax wanted to become. Maybe he had just wanted to escape Elfangor's shadow.

He didn't say this, though. Instead, he asked, ((Why can't I just go with you on this mission? Your military offered the others a position in it before. Marco told me. But they refused. And if I had been there, they would have asked me, too.))

((You would require military training to participate in the mission.)) There was a moment of hesitation in Ax's response, and Tobias knew that he wasn't being entirely truthful.

((I'm an Animorph. I've been in more missions in a week than you have in the past year,)) Tobias said hotly, not caring how arrogant he sounded.

((Which would not exempt you from training.))

Tobias dived in frustration, pulling up a few feet before hitting the ground. Flying had always helped him cool off when he was angry. ((You offered to take me on your mission before. What's the difference now?))

((You weren't going to fight, then,)) Ax stated calmly.

((Then I won't fight now! What are you hiding from me? Why don't you want me to go with you?)) His exasperation was obvious in his voice.

Ax didn't answer his question. Instead, he said, ((Like, I said, when my mission is over-))

((Yeah, when? Three years from now?)) Tobias asked, making sure to sound as cynical as possible.

He hadn't said anything before, but Tobias had truly missed his best friend. He missed being at his scoop and flipping through the channels on TV, eventually ending on a soap opera, much to Tobias's protests. He missed trying to convince Ax that he didn't need any of the items advertised in infomercials. ((But if I call the number on screen now, I get free shipping and handling!)) Ax would protest. He missed explaining to him that "shipping" didn't usually involve actual ships. He missed buying take out food because he knew from experience that they would be kicked out of any restaurant he attempted to take Ax to. He missed convincing Ax to help him play a practical joke on Marco after the fifth time he made a "Why did Tobias cross the road?" joke. He missed having a TV show marathon after various particularly bloody battles. He missed practicing tail-blade fighting as the sun went down and Ax showing him the andalite night ritual.

Tobias hadn't wanted to admit to it himself before, but after a year of not hearing anything from Ax, he was scared. What if Ax had left for good? What if he had forgotten about him just like Elfangor and Loren had? What if Ax had finally given up on him?

((Look, Ax,)) he began, his voice losing all trace of anger, ((I don't know why you don't want me along in this mission now. And you don't have to tell me. That's your business. But I haven't seen you, let alone talked to you, in over a year. And I know that it's my fault. That I just shut you out after Rachel died when you had just been trying to help. That wasn't fair. And I am truly sorry. And you know what? I probably should have asked Cassie or Marco how to communicate with you all this time instead of leaving that up to you. Because something that I have learned since Rachel died is that being all on my own sucks, no matter how much I try to pretend I'm okay with it.)) He stopped, then softer, he said, ((I just don't want to go another year without talking to my best friend.))

Ax didn't say anything for a few minutes, leaving Tobias in uncomfortable silence, almost regretting his emotional outburst. Then, he said, ((You will not have to,)) and signaled Tobias to follow him back towards the Hork-bajir Not-valley.

A couple of minutes into the flight, Ax said, ((I apologize as well. I should have tried to contact you personally during my time in the Intrepid to see how you were doing. I do not know how long my mission will take. But we will not lose touch again.))

…..

Ax stayed on Earth for a week. That time had been spent flying and hitting up a few places near civilization. Tobias gave him a tour of Yellowstone, and Ax excitedly pointed out different types of vegetation he had read about in an encyclopedia oh so long ago. Before his parting, Ax gave Tobias a telecommunicator, a device which they had both promised to use once a week to keep in touch.

Months passed. Tobias kept his promise and called Ax at least once a week, sometimes more. Ax talked about his journey and how dull it was to spend months in Z-space. A couple of times, Ax didn't answer. The longest they had spent without talking to each other had been a month. Until now. It had been over two months since their last conversation.

At first, Tobias didn't think much of it. Ax was a Prince, and he was constantly busy. Even on a boring space mission, he probably had duties to attend to. Maybe he had gone into battle and his telecommunicator had been damaged, just like last time. Ax was fine. Probably. He had talked to Cassie about it a few weeks earlier, but she didn't know anything either. Although Tobias tried not to think about it too much, he was worried sick.

Tobias also spent more time at the library. He had finished reviewing content from the 9th to the 12th grade. He knew the next step was to take his GED, but it made him uneasy. Even though he had told Toby he would take the test, he didn't think he would have a chance to take it before Ax came back for him. Taking the test seemed too final, as if it was settled that he would spend the rest of his life as a human.

It was in early August that Cassie came by to visit him again. This time, she had news that she was hoping would bring him out of hiding once and for all.

"She's getting married," Cassie announced.

((Who is?)) Tobias asked, peering down at her.

"Loren. Your mom is getting married." Tobias didn't answer for a second. How could she be getting married? When did she have the time to meet someone? It had only been… Three years. It had almost been three years since the war ended. It made sense that she would want to move on with her life. Still, it bothered him. She was moving on without him.

((When? With who?))

"October. With a man named Gregory. Gregory…" She paused, thinking. "Gregory Something." Then, after another pause, she added, "I think you should go."

((No,)) he replied quickly, without thinking about it.

She raised an eyebrow, and placed a hand on her hip. "And why not?" she asked, with a challenging tone.

((Because… I'm not invited.)) He knew it was a lame answer.

She rolled her eyes. "I'm sure the invitation got lost in the mail." Then, in a more serious voice, she said, "Look, Tobias, I know you feel like she should be the one to approach you. But she doesn't know where to even begin to look for you. And even if she did, I think she doesn't want to bother you. She wants to let you come back when you feel ready to come back."

If you love someone, set them free, he thought bitterly. He wasn't sure whether he agreed with that philosophy.

When he didn't answer, she said, "I'll be here a day before so you can fly with me."

((No promises,)) he responded. But even as he said that, he was already wondering what he would wear to his mother's wedding.

…..

A month later Tobias found himself outsmarted by a mouse. It was pathetic, he thought, that he had spent more than three years fighting and plotting against what was probably one of the galaxy's greatest menace and won, only to be outwitted by his lunch. Well, what should be his lunch, anyway. ((Okay, Old Man Mouse, you live for another day. I'm not falling for it today,)) he told the mouse at last.

To make matters worse, two campers had decided to set up in his meadow. A couple, to be precise. And just like at the mall, the sight of them in love made him sick with nostalgia.

He supposed maybe he wouldn't be feeling so miserable if the communicator Ax had given him had gone off since the last time Cassie had visited. Now it had been three months and two weeks since he had heard from his friend. And so, in an attempt to lift his spirits, he decided to chase off the campers. It was a bit harsh, he knew, but he had to keep his sanity, and they would find another camping site anyway. Probably.

However, before he hopped to the ground to start morphing, a hork-bajir came into site, leaping from tree to tree. Toby. He started calling out a greeting, before he saw what, or who, was trailing behind her. A wolf. Cassie, no doubt. Instantly, he knew something was up. Cassie had just been here two days ago, and she only came once a month unless there was an emergency.

"Hello, Tobias. I hope you are well." There was something off-putting about her voice, but he couldn't quite place what it was.

((Tolerable,)) he answered, looking down at Cassie. Strangely enough, she still hadn't said anything.

"Tobias, I have done something you may disapprove of," Toby said. This time her voice definitely sounded apologetic. Tobias almost groaned out loud.

((All right, who is it?)) he demanded, his heartbeat suddenly beginning to quicken. But even before he asked, he knew the answer. Cassie was out. Ax was still in space. Marco? He would have called beforehand. And anyway, Marco wasn't prohibited from coming to visit him, so Toby bringing him wouldn't be something he would "disapprove of."

((It's me, Tobias.)) Sure enough, that was Jake's voice.

As Jake began to demorph, Tobias contemplated taking off. The hikers however, who had been staring and pointing quietly up until then, were rooted in spot and began to take pictures excitedly, much to Tobias's annoyance. ((Hey, Ken and Barbie,)) he yelled, regretting not scaring them off before, ((knock it off. This is my meadow. You want to stay, sit down and stay quiet!))

He looked down at his former leader who was almost done demorphing. He didn't know what to say. Or what he wanted to say, if he even wanted to talk to him. He wasn't even sure what to feel. The last time he saw him had been at Rachel's memorial, on the day that should have been her seventeenth birthday. He had screamed at him then, and he wasn't sure if he should do the same now.

In the end, Tobias settled for a flat ((Well, Jake, what's up with you?)) once Jake was done demorphing.

"I'm doing good."

((You're older.))

"So are you." His voice wasn't mocking. Not exactly. But something about his nonchalant tone bothered Tobias (much like almost everything Jake did for the past three years).

So he said, ((Well, it was fun catching up. Bye.))

However, before he could fly off, Jake blurted, "It's about Ax." That stopped him short. If Jake showed up, then there was something very, very wrong.

((What about Ax?)) he asked steadily, trying not to let his worry seep into his voice.

Jake looked back, acknowledging the hikers' presence for the first time. He lowered his voice before saying, "He's been captured."

...

They had spent nine months and four days in space. Nine months and four days with no interaction with anyone outside the Rachel. Nine months and only fifty movies to watch and fifty books to read. They had a few board games to entertain themselves, although everyone was sick of them by the fifth month. They had a deck of cards, but Menderash had lost the three of spades and nine of hearts, and even though the ship was not very big, they had been unable to find them.

Santorelli proposed they train during the trip. They were all already being taught how to operate the ship by Menderash, but Santorelli wanted physical training. He had been in the military and used to train cadets, so he suggested they trained in their human forms in case it was ever needed. Tobias laughed at the idea when Santorelli presented it and refused, saying he didn't spend a lot of time as a human anyway. Later, while they were watching a movie, Santorelli surprise attacked him and pinned him to the floor. It was then that Tobias reluctantly accepted the training. Marco made fun of him for days after that until Tobias surprised him in snake morph in his sleep.

They also practiced morphing and battling. Marco held the record of fastest morph from his human form to his gorilla morph at 22 seconds. Jake claimed it wasn't fair since there wasn't a big difference between a human and gorilla as opposed to a human and tiger and a hawk and a hork-bajir. And since Jeanne and Santorelli weren't as experienced as the other three, it made sense that they were still clocking in at a little over a minute between morphs.

Battles took place twice a week, and everybody except Menderash would go into their different morphs, mainly battle forms, and fight each other. It was used as practice and they tried to keep injuries to the minimum. Although if the fights did go a little too far, they could always demorph. In the five months they had been battling, Jake and Tobias had never faced each other in battle.

Still, even though they had some entertainment, nine months in space was far too long to be in confined quarters. Everyone was on edge, which resulted in tension between the Rahcel's residents. Santorelli and Menderash weren't on speaking terms after Menderash had gone on an hour-long rant about how much better the Andalite military was compared to human military. Jeanne was snappy at all the men on board after Santorelli made a period joke and Marco hit on her one too many times.

Jake had become obsessed. He spent all his time with Menderash trying to map out their course and asking him to retell the capture a thousand times in case there was something he had missed. The story was always the same: They had been cruising along space trying to find the blade ship. Instead, they found polar bear hair in an unknown ship and Ax and his crew went in. They never came out. It became obvious to Tobias that the reason he hadn't been invited to the mission was because it involved Rachel's place of death.

Marco was restless, watching movies over and over again or dragging one of his friends into a silly game. He became louder and more obnoxious, making lame jokes that only he would laugh at. He was nastier, making the type of snide remarks he would only make after a tough battle during the war. Still, he never acted like their was anything wrong.

Tobias was worried sick about Ax. There had been no sign of him, and there might never be one. He terrified that Ax was dead or being tortured. He was terrified that they would never see him again. Lately, he would split off from the group and hang out on his make-shift perch and think, although Marco would call it moping. No one would bother him then. Except Marco, of course.

Since Jake was ignoring everyone, Tobias had become Marco's go-to person. Most of the time, Tobias would humor him. He'd watch a movie with him or play a game or join in on a prank on one of the others or on some scheme to get them out of training. A lot of the time, it was also fun.

Other times, however, Marco would get on his nerves. He might still agree to do whatever Marco wanted to get him to shut up, or because he knew that being intolerable was Marco's way of coping with the situation. Every time he was reminded of the weeks Marco was living out in the woods with him and Ax after they rescued his mother. They spent hours killing time together, bickering and hanging out. Except this time, Ax wasn't around.

So on the fourth day of the tenth month on board the Rachel, Marco convinced a reluctant Tobias to watch a movie with him, one they had watched about ten times. It was obvious that neither of them really wanted to. But it was also obvious that if Tobias left Marco alone to do nothing, he'd lose his sanity.

"Kind of a rip off of Beauty and the Beast, don't you think?" Marco asked. "Minus the Stockholm Syndrome."

Tobias snorted. "Or the kidnapped dad. Or the talking furniture. Or the angry- well, I guess there were angry villagers. But still, it's nothing like Beauty and the Beast."

"It has true love's kiss, though."

"Every fairytale movie has a true love's kiss."

"I don't think I'd consider Shrek, a fairy tale." Marco stayed silent as Fiona was lifted into the air and turned into an ogre. "Did you and Rachel ever do that? Reverse version of course. She'd kiss your feathered head or something and then you morphed to human. Princess and the Frog style. Beauty and the Beast style. Because if not, that's totally a lost opportunity."

They had, but Tobias would never admit to it. And even though he didn't really feel like starting a conversation, he couldn't resist saying: "Aw, I didn't know you thought of me as a prince."

Marco grinned. "Yeah, and I'm still waiting for my true love's kiss."

Tobias rolled his eyes. "What if you turn into an ogre like Fiona did?"

"Bird, human, andalite, prince, and now you're an ogre too?"

Tobias simply nodded and turned to the TV to watch the end of the movie. He wanted to get out of there as soon as he could. Marco could be fun, but only in short doses. And lately they had been spending way too much time together. Tobias missed being on his own on an open field. He couldn't get that on a cramped ship with five other people, but he could certainly try. His perch was a start, at least. Hawks weren't much for confined spaces.

As Tobias stood up to leave when the movie was over, Marco said without looking at him, "You know, you kind of do remind me of Shrek. Moody and grumpy."

Tobias knew that Marco was just teasing him. Still, he let annoyance slip into his voice when he responded with: "Yeah, well. I'm a hawk in a confined space on a suicide mission to save my best friend."

Marco ignored Tobias' annoyance, and he said, "Shrek's lonely, too. Just like you."

"Something wrong with that?" Tobias asked in a challenging tone. He knew a movie was a stupid thing to argue over. He knew Marco was probably just trying to pick a fight for his own entertainment.

Marco shrugged, and turned back to TV. He had turned it off sometime during their interaction. "Everyone has their own way of coping, I guess."

Tobias scoffed. "Like your way of coping is better?"

Marco gave him a smirk. "Sure it is."

"Really?" Tobias asked, in a mocking tone. "Not caring? Annoying the hell out of people and dragging them down with you? That's better?"

Something about Tobias' response seemed to put Marco off. His smirk was wiped off his face. Marco stood up to face him. "Do you seriously think that you don't drag people down when you go off on your own? Are you that stupid?" Although his voice was low, it shook with anger. Marco usually didn't lose his cool easily, and Tobias knew that. He knew the confinement was just getting to Marco. But it was also getting to Tobias.

"At least I'm not an asshole to everyone around me," Tobias stated flatly.

Marco gave a short, mirthless laugh. "Yes, you are. I told you that before, and I will say it again. You are an asshole. You think your way of handling things is so much better, yet you didn't care who you hurt when you left. You didn't care that you left your mother alone, or that Ax missed you, or that Jake was overcome with guilt." Marco's voice slowly began to rise. "You are not the only one who was hurt by the war, you know. You are not the only one who had it rough afterwards. And just because you are the only one who mopes all the damn time, doesn't mean you are not the only one who is suffering now. So get off your high-horse and stop being so full of yourself."

Tobias knew it was true, but he was too riled up to tell Marco that. Instead, he remained quiet. By now, Menderash and Jake had come into the TV room to see what was wrong.

Marco's voice lowered. "Ax is my friend, too. It hurts me, too. So don't you ever tell me that I don't care."

Tobias wasn't sure how to respond. He hadn't meant to say that Marco didn't care about Ax. But he was still furious, A part of him wanted to deck Marco. Another part wanted to apologize. Instead, he said, "I need to demorph" and brushed past Jake on his way out.

…..

Jake showed up at Tobias's quarters in the middle of the night. Or what would have been the middle of the night back in California if they weren't surrounded by the darkness of space. During the first few weeks, everyone had been in awe of the beauty of outer space, but the novelty wore off over time. Now, everyone was sick of the sight.

Tobias ignored the knock on the door at first, thinking it was Marco. When Jake asked to be let in, Tobias said, ((It's locked.))

"Yeah, I can see that." Jake's muffled voice came from the other side of the door. "Would you mind getting it?"

((I have to morph.)) The Rachel had been altered by the andalites, and the separate quarters accommodated humans. Therefore, they had used human hand scanners for security. Now every time Tobias wanted to lock or unlock his door, he had to use his human morph. It was annoying, but he had gotten used to it.

"I can wait," Jake replied.

With a mental sigh, Tobias flew down from his makeshift perch made out of metal scraps from the ship and onto the bed. Less than a minute later, he opened the door and signaled for Jake to come inside.

"What's up?" Tobias asked, plopping onto the bed.

"You should talk to Marco," Jake said, getting right to the point.

Tobias groaned. "You know, just 'cause you're the leader doesn't mean you get to boss me around."

Jake grinned, and sat down on the edge of the bed. "Yeah, actually, that's exactly what it means."

"Not outside of battle," Tobias replied.

Since the day Jake told Tobias about the mission to save Ax, there had been an unspoken agreement between the two of them to be civil for Ax's sake. They rarely interacted with each other on their own, but they were still a team. They weren't friends. Jake still wasn't forgiven. But Tobias would follow his lead without hesitation as long as Ax was saved.

"Why don't you talk to him? You're his best friend."

"I'm not the one he's mad at," Jake replied.

Tobias shrugged. "He'll get over it. He's probably not even mad anymore," he said as he laid back onto the bed. "This ship and the stress is just getting to him. It's getting to all of us." Then a thought hit him and he sat up suddenly and looked at Jake suspiciously. "But you probably already knew that, so why are you here? If this is not about Marco, then why are you here?"

Jake looked away, sheepishly. Then with a sigh, he turned back towards Tobias and said, "Look, we're the only three original members on this ship. I don't want you to hate us both."

"Oh," Tobias said, unsure how to respond. He thought he should be annoyed at Jake's apparent concern, but he wasn't. If anything, he was annoyed he had been woken up.

"I don't hate Marco," he said. "I'm not even angry at him anymore, honestly." A lot of what Marco has said was true. He made a mental note to apologize in the "morning".

Jake gave him a look. "Then why did you lock yourself away for hours?"

"Because I'm a lonely ogre." They both laughed at that, and didn't say anything for a while. For the first time in years, they fell into comfortable silence.

Eventually Jake got up. Tobias thought he was going to leave, but instead, Jake lingered and examined the room as if there was something he wanted to talk about but couldn't bring himself to say. It was the first time Jake had taken a good look at Tobias's room. There wasn't much. There was Tobias's perch, a bed, and a drawer. That was it.

"This place is kind of barren," he commented while staring at the white walls.

"If you can find me some paint, I'd be happy to fix it," Tobias answered from his spot on the bed.

"That's right," Jake said, looking back at smiled. "You were an artist."

It was Marco who had told the rest of the Animorphs about Tobias' hidden talent. They had both been in the same art class in the eighth grade. When Marco took up the elective again in the ninth grade, he would pay or bribe Tobias to do his art pieces for him. Tobias didn't mind; it was a fun distraction. However, when one of the pieces was selected for an art competition, Jake ordered them to stop as to not arouse suspicion.

"Did you ever take it up again? After the war, I mean?" Jake added quickly.

Tobias smirked, catching on to what Jake was doing, trying to see what he had been up to after the war. Tobias knew that he had been upset with Marco for not telling him about Tobias's whereabouts. Jake was the only Animorph who'd had no contact with Tobias after Rachel's death.

"I didn't," he answered.

"Oh. Will you? When we get back?" Jake walked back to the bed and sat down next to Tobias this time, as if they were friends again. Strangely, Tobias found he didn't mind it too much.

"I don't think so," he answered.

"What will you do then? When we get back?" Jake asked, losing the bad subtlety and getting straight to the point.

"Assuming we live?"

"Assuming we live."

What he wanted was to leave with Ax on his ship, but he knew that due to his current situation, that might not be a possibility anymore. He hated thinking of a future where Ax might not be around anymore. Still, he answered: "I'm going to buy Loren a wedding gift."

"A little late, don't you think?" Jake joked. Tobias shrugged. "I got the invitation. I wasn't planning on going, though."

"I was," Tobias said.

"So, you got into contact with her then? With your mom?"

"No, um." Tobias shifted uncomfortably. "The wedding was going to be the first time I saw her after… after everything."

"Oh. I'm sorry you missed it."

Tobias shrugged. "It's alright. The Ax-man is more important."

There was a moment of silence, and it seemed like Jake was struggling with his next question. "Tobias, what if…" He paused. "What if we don't complete the mission? What will you do then?"

He didn't answer for a few seconds, contemplating his response. What if they never found Ax? What if he was dead? And he knew what Jake was asking. Are you going to disappear again?

Tobias remembered the first few months after Rachel's death and how horrible they had been. He knew they would have terrible even with his friends around, but he also remembered how great it felt when he finally allowed Ax to comfort him. He remembered the day at Ax's scoop, laying on the couch and missing his friends so much it hurt. He remembered being able to laugh with Marco and Ket Helpak's touching words. He remembered lashing out Ax because he hadn't heard from him in over a year.

"I'm not," he answered, quietly.

"What?"

"I'm not gonna go MIA again," he said louder. "I learned my lesson."

Jake smiled. "Well, that's a relief."

There was silence, and then Tobias said, "I've been reviewing high school material. I'm pretty much done."

Jake gave him a weird look. "So, you're going back to high school?"

"Oh, hell no."

Jake laughed. "I didn't think so. I guess you could always take the GED."

"I guess."

After a pause, Jake continued. "You know, I never actually went back to high school."

Tobias shot him a questioning look. "Are you serious? But you teach in the military. You didn't even finish the eleventh grade!"

"True, but I'm teaching morphing classes. Last I heard, that's not part of the high school curriculum. Besides, the school did give me a diploma in what would've been my graduation day." Jake grinned at him. "I just never actually showed up to class." He laughed as Tobias muttered something about the American education system.

There was a silence again. Tobias diverted his attention from Jake and to the wall. And then, without thinking, he said, "I read your book."

"Oh." Jake tried to play it off, but it was obvious he had tensed up. "Well, that's embarrassing."

Tobias rolled his eyes. "Then maybe you shouldn't have published it for the whole world to see."

"Maybe." Pause. Jake tried to sound nonchalant, but some tension still made it to his voice. "What did you think?"

After much self-convincing, Tobias finally had the courage to read the book cover to cover without stopping a few weeks after buying it. It was painful, but it was interesting to see the war from another perspective. He was used to following Jake's calls without question, but now he saw the reasoning behind them, even though he didn't always agree with him. He had always known that Jake felt guilty for many of the decisions gone wrong, but it hurt to read it firsthand. Tobias was surprised that after reading certain sections, he felt sympathetic.

Still, he also read the manipulation process that were behind many missions. He read Jake's cold reasoning at sending Rachel after David and how he had used her love for Tobias to chase after his supposed killer. Tobias read how Jake had manipulated his loyalty to the team to get him to volunteer to be tortured. He always knew this, of course, but it was very different to hear Jake admitting to it. And in those instances, Tobias felt betrayed all over again.

Tobias still didn't fully understand what had happened in the final battle. Jake's final plan was flawed, but he still followed it as it fell apart. Tobias knew why Rachel had been chosen. He always knew why Rachel had been chosen. But he knew that even when he managed to forgive Jake, he would never agree with his verdict. But no matter how much he disagreed, nothing would ever change what had happened. "You can't change the past," Naomi had once told him. He knew that he had to move past it.

After a minute of silence, Tobias said, "I think it was a stupid, stupid decision that you made. I think you should have talked to us. I think you should have sent some backup with her. I think Rachel's death could have been prevented." Despite Tobias's harsh words, there was no anger in his voice.

He wasn't facing Jake, but he could hear him let out a defeated sigh. He felt the bed begin to shift as he got up to leave. So, Tobias continued. "But." Jake stopped. "I think the rest of us should have seen it coming, We should have seen that you were not equipped to lead anymore after what happened to your family. We should have never forced you to be our leader and then blamed you when you snapped under the pressure."

Tobias turned to look at him, and admitted what he had known for a long time now. "I don't hate you either, Jake."

And it wasn't forgiveness. Although the day would come, they both knew that it would take a lot of talking, a lot of anger, and a lot of pain. But it was a start.

Jake smiled. "Okay."

And for now, it was enough.