ACD: Yo, what it is my amazing reviewers? We are BACK! I know. I think I waited a REALLY long time, but who cares? We're here now and everyone's excited! We have been joined by three new guests! Introduce yourselves you guys!
Temari: 'Sup?
Kankuro: Hey.
Gaara: …
ACD: Must you always be so emo?
Gaara: …
ACD: -sighs- Whatever. Anyway, I'm going to go ahead and give you all the contest results! Oh, and heheh…my bad, but I think we actually had eight contestants last time. That was a big mistake, but whatever!
Sasuke: Stupid.
Sakura: Stop being mean, Sasuke.
Naruto: For real. Your ugly face probably confused her.
Sasuke: I'M SERIOUSLY GOING TO KILL YOU!
-ACD hits Sasuke on the head with an umbrella-
ACD: Bad little chicken! No killing!
Itachi: Ha.
Sasuke: -snarls-
-everyone stares at him-
ACD: Okaaaay. So Sasuke's got rabies. Tsunade, make sure you check him out for that.
Tsunade: We've already got him on the best medication we've got.
Sakura: Seriously.
Sasuke: Nu-uh.
Shizune: We follow you around and spike your food.
Naruto: I helped!
Deidara: What a loser.
Itachi: Really…
Sasuke: WHAT THE HELL?
ACD: Well then. That's interesting. Anyway, to get on with things, we have our contest results.
Kiba: That are fucked up 'cause you messed up big time.
ACD: Honestly, it's no big deal. We just have eight contestants instead of seven. Okay…well, the last place winner is good.
Neji: -crossing fingers- Please…please…please…
Kurenai: Sorry, Hyuga, but if this isn't me, I'm seriously killing someone.
ACD: No. Bad. No killing. Anyway, the last place winner IS Contestant #5: Neji Hyuga and Hinata Hyuga with no votes.
-Hinata and Neji exhale in relief-
Kurenai: WHAT???
Tsunade: Damn. Chill out.
Kakashi: I think you're overreacting.
Kurenai: Oh really? And what would you be doing, HMMMM?
-everyone pauses and thinks-
ACD: Yeah, I think we all agree with ya there, Kurenai.
Tsunade: Well, I got Jiraiya. Eeck.
ACD: Okay…seventh place is Contestant #3: Kakashi Hatake and Temari Sabaku with four votes. Huh…what a weird pairing.
Temari: Not bad. I like older guys.
Kakashi: Uh…heheheh…sure.
Sakura: Er…Temari, you know he's a major perv, right?
Temari: Uh-huh. Nothin' wrong with that.
-Sasuke gags-
Naruto: That's GROSS!!!
Ino: Get it, Temari.
Sakura: No, don't encourage her!
ACD: In sixth place is Contestant #8: Kankuro and Shizune with five votes.
Shizune: Um… -glances at Kankuro- I don't even know him.
Kankuro: -shrugs- She's pretty hot.
-Temari hits him on the head-
Gaara: Idiot.
ACD: Mkay. Well, in fifth place, we have Contestant #6: Rock Lee and Tenten. They got six votes.
Tenten: Okay, who the hell voted for us, because you seriously need to see Tsunade or something.
Lee: Only six votes?
Neji: How many did you expect?
Lee: -tears up- OH, HOW DISAPPOINTING, THE YOUTHFUL FIRE OF OUR VIEWERS IS FADING!!!
ACD: Eh, not really, 'cause in fourth place in Contestant #7: Jiraiya and Tsunade with, like, thirteen votes.
Tsunade: Fourth out of eighth? Um…you people DO realize that we're both over fifty years old right?
Jiraiya: The youngsters like watching elderly porn.
-everyone stares at him in disgust-
ACD: I think I need to puke.
Sakura: OH MY GOD!!! MENTAL IMAGES! INO, MAKE IT STOP!!!!!!
Ino: -starts screaming hysterically- HOLY SHIT! THEY'RE CONTAIGOUS, SAKURA!!!!! AHHHHHHHH!!!!
Sasuke: Oh. My. God.
Itachi: For once, little brother, I think I just might agree with that very accurate statement.
Naruto: Dude, I'm right behind ACD! Where's a bucket or something?
-Kiba grabs Gaara's gourd and pukes in it-
Temari: Uh…
Naruto: That's not what I meant.
Gaara: -eyes go wide- I will kill you.
ACD: Eh…just wash it out. ANYWAY, as gross as that was, let's move on shall we? In third place is Contestant #4: Shikamaru Nara and Ino Yamanaka!
Sakura: Finally, a pairing that makes sense!
Ino: How does THAT make sense?
Temari: Hm…I agree.
Kankuro: Everyone knows you're just jealous.
Temari: Of the bottle blonde slut? No way.
Ino: WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU JUST CALL ME??????
ACD: I SAID NO KILLING!
Shikamaru: Ino, put the knife DOWN! Just ignore her! She's not worth it!
Temari: Oh, I'm NOT?
Ino: You tell her, Shika! –sticks her tongue out at Temari-
Shikamaru: -sweat drops- Uh…
Sakura: Does this mean Ino and I aren't rivals anymore?
Hinata: I-I t-th-think s-s-s-so.
Naruto: Good job.
ACD: Hm…well, we're gonna sort that out later. In second place…wow. This time, the winner was…
Kurenai: I did NOT win!
ACD: No… Contestant #2: Maito Gai and Kurenai Yuhi came in second place with thirty-three votes.
Kurenai: THAT MANY?
Gai: I BEAT KAKASHI!!!! THE SCORE IS EVEN ONCE AGAIN, YOUTHFUL RIVAL!!
Kakashi: -smiles and continues reading- That's nice.
Gai: DAMN YOU!
Sasuke: Does…does that mean…??? Oh no. NOOO!!! What is the world coming to?
Naruto: IT CAN'T BE!!! FANS SUCK!!!
Sakura: Cool, I won a contest. Neat.
Itachi: Not a surprise…though I should've won last time, too.
Hinata: -turns red- S-s-s-s-sorry…
Deidara: Haha.
ACD: Holy shit.
Everyone: What?
ACD: The winner of the contest, Contestant #1: Itachi Uchiha and Sakura Haruno, won with…DAMN!!!
Sasuke: TELL ME!
ACD: Three-hundred fifty-nine votes.
-everyone is silent-
Sakura: …
Itachi: …
Naruto: …
Sasuke: -twitches and smiles insanely and squeaks- Three hundred…fifty…nine?
ACD: Uh…yeah…
Sakura: Sasuke…are you okay?
Sasuke: -gives a shaky laugh- Yeah… I'm…fine… - begins to laugh uncontrollably-
Ino: Um. I think I'm over him now.
Itachi: I think I pushed him a little too far.
Deidara: Oh, he's long gone now, yeah.
ACD: Er…Sasuke…? Um, okay. So…we actually DID have some requests this time. Our first new member of the show…everyone welcome Hanabi Hyuga!!!
Hinata&Neji: HANABI?
-Hanabi walks in to an applause-
Hanabi: Hi, everyone. Hinata, Neji, stop looking so stunned. Everyone, I'm happy to be on. I really love listening, so now I'm glad to be a part of Hotline Konoha.
Sakura: Aw, you seem sweet.
Sasuke: -snarls again suspiciously- Hyuga…
Hanabi: Isn't that Sasuke Uchiha?
Itachi: We're not so sure anymore.
Naruto: Yeah, we've dubbed him mentally insane.
ACD: But that's not all!
Kiba: Who else did someone ask to come on? Akamaru???
ACD: Kiba…Akamaru can't talk.
Kiba: He's learning! You just have to squint one eye really hard when he says something, and it's not so hard to understand him!
Hinata: K-K-Kiba?
Shino: You're stupid.
Kiba: BUG NERD!
Shino: Dog breath.
Kiba: EMO POSER!
Shino: Stupid mutt.
ACD: Everyone say hi to Orochimaru!!!
-Orochimaru walks in to silence-
Tsunade: WHAT THE FUCK? ARREST HIM!
Jiraiya: Naruto, get ready to do the jutsu I taught you last week!
Naruto: Okay, Jiraiya-sensei!
Sakura&Ino: Eeeeeewwww. Look at his clothes.
Itachi: Oh dear God…
Deidara: Isn't he that guy who tried to rape Itachi when they were younger?
Kakashi: Damn, now I can't read Icha Icha…
Kiba: Who's he?
Neji: Hinata, get back.
Hinata: O-okay.
Kurenai: Asuma, are you ready?
Asuma: Oh yeah.
Gaara: …What's the big deal?
Temari: Well, ain't he creepy?
Kankuro: Oh yeah, didn't he kill Dad?
Hanabi: How strange.
Sasuke: -pokes head out from under table- Master?
Sakura: -looks at Sasuke- Master? Really?
Kakashi: Uh…Sasuke…
Naruto: Okay…he's really NOT okay.
-Sasuke crawls over to Orochimaru and clings to his waist-
Sasuke: Master, they're being mean to me.
-ACD bursts out laughing-
Itachi: …Sasuke?
Orochimaru: -pets Sasuke's head- It's quite alright now, Sasuke. Together we'll become stronger then all of them and then they won't be so mean. Of course…I'll need your body first.
-Sasuke squishes face into his stomach-
Sasuke: -muffled voice- Mkay.
ACD: No, bad snake pedophile! –hits Orochimaru with the umbrella- No body switching!
Orochimaru: Damn…
Sakura: Orochimaru…
Ino: …in Sasuke's body…?
Sakura&Ino: Ewwwwwwwwww.
ACD: Okay, well, we have a lot to do today, so let's get on with it, shall we? First up, we have Shirotora chan with three questions. What do you want to ask, Shirotora chan?
Shirotora chan: I'm so excited! Um, okay. First, I want to ask Tenten something about Akatsuki.
Tenten: Uh…alright.
Itachi: -leans over to Deidara and whispers- Who's she?
Deidara: -whispers back- Not sure. Think she fought Kisame.
Shirotora chan: If you had to go to the Dark Side…er, Akatsuki, which guy would you probably prefer?
Tenten: Um…well, I've only met three, so I'm not sure. Deidara's too pyro for me, that fish guy-
Itachi&Deidara: Kisame.
Tenten: -is well…fishy. So, of the guys I've met, probably Itachi.
Sakura: Huh… Funny how Itachi's the most like Neji.
-Neji raises an eyebrow-
Tenten: -blushes- That's not what I meant.
Shirotora chan: Okay! Um…now, which weapon of yours is your favorite and why? Gosh, I just adore you!
Lee: Yeah, GO TENTEN!
Neji: Wow, Tenten's got a fan.
Temari: -snorts- How surprising.
Sakura: -looks at Temari- You're a major bitch, aren't you?
Temari: WHAT?
Tenten: MY ANSWER…would probably be… Wow, there are so many, I don't know if I CAN pick. Well, my ninja wire usually comes in handy because it helps me control my weapons after I launch them…but then again, explosive tags are REALLY useful to an unsuspecting opponent. Hm…actually, I'd have to say I really like my Kusari-Gama. You know, the sickle and chain I use to trap my enemy and then slice them up. It's one of the weapons that's easiest to use since your moves don't have to be TOO precise and it's long range. There's not much one can do to dodge that kind of an attack.
Neji: That's certainly true.
Lee: -flinches- I would know.
Shirotora chan: Cool! And, my last question is for Itachi. What do you think about Sasuke's emo-ness?
-there's a silent pause-
Itachi: I think it's great. I DID create it.
Deidara: -nods- A beautiful thing, Itachi, yeah.
Itachi: Hn.
Sasuke: -points and looks up at Orochimaru- SEE! They're so mean!
Orochimaru: -smiles weirdly and pats Sasuke's head affectionately- Don't worry, my little student. We'll defeat them soon enough.
ACD: I SAID NO KILLING, DAMN IT! –hits Orochimaru on the head again- Anyway, next we have Kyubi-Nemu. Whatcha wanna asks, Kyubi? I know you have a lot of questions, but only pick three for now!
Kyubi-Nemu: Well, I was wondering if Itachi had ever taken Sasuke trick or treating.
-silence-
Itachi: -sighs- No. We tried, but Sasuke hates sweets.
Sasuke: Sugar is evil! –looks up at Orochimaru- Can I have a tomato?
Sakura: You do realize tomatoes are sweet, right?
Sasuke: Nu-uh! –takes tomato and starts chewing on it-
ACD: Uh… I'm really worried now.
Orochimaru: He'll be even more easy to control now!
Itachi: No. You taking over my brother's body was NOT a part of my plan.
Kyubi-Nemu: Huh. Okay. My next question is for Deidara. You and Ino are related, right?
Deidara: Who's Ino, yeah?
Ino: Hey! I'm right here!
-stares at her for a second-
Deidara: Nope. Why would anyone think that?
-everyone sweat drops-
Itachi: You look just alike.
Deidara: No way. Her forehead is way too big, yeah.
Sakura: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ino: Are you fucking kidding me?
Deidara: -shrugs- Whatever.
Kyubi-Nemu:Wow. You guys are really funny. Anyway, so Ino, have you ever snuck into Sasuke's house to steal clothes and stuff?
Ino: -goes wide-eyed- No…
Sasuke: Stalkers!
Orochimaru: Sh… -strokes Sasuke's hair, making his eyes twitch- It's okay, little one.
Itachi: Doesn't that freak you out, Sasuke?
Sasuke: -tightens hold- Master loves me… He'll protect me now…
Itachi: Shit…
Ino: Hehehe…so ANYWAY. Do you have another question?
Kyubi-Nemu: Well, that WAS my third one, but I just wanted to tell Sasuke that I don't hate him. Actually, I don't hate either Uchiha. So why don't the two of you sit in a corner and tell some stories.
Sasuke: Itachi evil.
Orochimaru: Yes, hate the evil older brother.
Itachi: Eh…
ACD: Next we have Dark-Alora again. What's up?
Dark-Alora: Hey guys! It's me again! So, to both Gaara and Kankuro, if you HAD to pick a girl to date, who would it be?
Gaara: …
Kankuro: Hm…well, Tsunade's got some super huge-
-Tsunade hits him in the face with a frying pan-
Tsunade: Stupid little pervert!
Kankuro: Ow!! Never mind. Um…I don't know. Sakura's got too much of a temper and Temari's my sister. Ino's really hot. She'd probably date me.
Temari: She'd probably date anything.
Ino: One more word from you, and I WILL EAT YOU!
Gaara: Hinata.
-everyone stops and stares-
Temari: The Hyuga girl?
-Gaara nods-
Hinata: O-o-o-oh… -turns red- U-u-um…t-thank y-y-y-you…
Neji: Why?
Gaara: She's quiet and obedient. She doesn't give me a headache.
Naruto: Weird.
Sakura: Aw, that's a cute couple!
ACD: I wrote a fanfiction for you two once.
-Hinata hides her face-
Gaara: …
Temari: Aw…
Dark-Alora: Oh, okay. That's a good answer, I suppose. So, the same question to Sakura now, except with guys, of course.
Naruto: Does EVERYONE have to ask you something about a guy?
Sakura: Geez! Look, to everyone who wants to ask, I seriously DON'T KNOW. I've liked Sasuke for years and I honestly don't know Itachi. Yeah, he's hot and all, so I might date him, but who knows? It'd be a tie…between…Sasuke, Itachi, Naruto, and…Kakashi.
Everyone except Naruto, Sasuke, and Itachi: WHAAAAAAAT?
Kakashi: -sputters- Sakura! That's inappropriate.
Sakura: -shrugs- So?
Naruto: You would date me?
Sakura: -shrugs again- Maybe.
Itachi: Well, I'm not too surprised.
Sakura: Well duh.
Sasuke: You…you still like me?
Sakura: -nods- Well, YEAH. I mean, you've always been a jerk, and I feel really bad for what we've done to you. I still like you a lot, Sasuke. I've always been one for the bad boy, and you're still the number one asshole. Well…if you stopped hugging Orochimaru you might be…
Sasuke: -blinks and lets go of Orochimaru- Eh…right…
Orochimaru: Damn…
Naruto: Gaaaaaaayyyyy.
ACD: Actually, we have NarutoandItachi4ever with a question that's similar to that!
NarutoandItachi4ever: Yeah, really! Why'd you go with Orochimaru! I mean, you DO know he's gay right!
Sasuke: -scoots away from Orochimaru- Well, um, he promised me power. I wanted power, so…I went with him. It's not like he molested me or anything…
Itachi: Yet.
Sakura: Well, it's good to know you're getting back to normal.
Sasuke: Yeah…I'm not so sure why I was acting like that.
Tsunade: -looking at a bottle- Oh, oops. That was my fault. I spiked your food with sake, not medicine. Sorry, Sasuke.
-Sasuke hits head on table-
NarutoandItachi4ever: And now for Naruto, why do you like Sakura if she's always so mean to you?
Sakura: He deserves it.
Naruto: -smiles- She's not THAT mean. And she's really hot when she gets mad. She's a really good ninja and stuff and she's super pretty… I don't know. I can't help it.
NarutoandItachi4ever: Well, okay. And Itachi, is Tobi really your cousin, Obito?
Itachi: No. He DOES have a secret identity-
Orochimaru: Madara.
Itachi: But no one knows it.
Kakashi: I miss Obito.
Tsunade: -pats Kakashi on the back- He was a brave soul, an awful lot like Naruto.
Naruto: Ha! Hear that, Sasuke! I'm brave!
Kiba: Yahoo! Go Naruto.
Sasuke: Well, I'm like Kakashi.
Naruto: Crap…that DOES sound better.
Sakura: Who am I like then?
Kakashi: Rin. She was the female medic on my team. She liked me, too.
ACD: Weird.
NarutoandItachi4ever: Now, I have some dares. Is that okay?
ACD: Sure.
NarutoandItachi4ever: Okay, so I want Naruto to kiss Hinata, Itachi to slap Deidara, and Sasuke needs to jump down a hole and never come back.
Sakura: Aw. And we were just getting his self esteem back, too.
Sasuke: Well, now I'm normal again, so I personally don't give a fuck. –sits down and closes eyes-
Naruto: Very mature.
Neji: -sighs- Hinata fainted again.
Kiba: -squirms- Yeah, I don't think Naruto should kiss Hinata either. She might have a…heart attack or something.
Shino: Jealous.
Kiba: Am not!
-Itachi turns and slaps Deidara-
Itachi: I win.
ACD: Wow.
-Deidara stares at him in shock-
Deidara: …ow.
ACD: So who's next?
XOXOSilentListenerXOXO: Me! Sakura, I dare you to date Itachi! And NO ONE, especially not Sasuke, can interfere!
Sakura: Eh…can I just go on, like, one date with him or something?
Itachi: That'd be rather awkward, don't you think?
XOXOSilentListenerXOXO: No.
ACD: You gotta do it.
Sakura: Well, okay.
Sasuke: Phfft. Stupid fangirls.
Itachi: Hm…I haven't been on a date since I was…a kid…
Sakura: Yeah. Awkward.
XOXOSilentListenerXOXO: Now Tsunade has to make out with Jiraiya!
Jiraiya: Sweet!
Tsunade: Um…I just got an important call…I'll be back in a few…uh…years.
-Tsunade runs out-
Jiraiya: COME BACK!!! YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO!!!
-chases her out of the room-
Shizune: -sighs- Poor Tsunade.
Sakura: For real.
Naruto: Ew, but Tsunade is so old!
Kakashi: So is Jiraiya, though.
Sasuke: Everything makes sense again.
Orochimaru: Never be like them, apprentice. They are WEAK.
Sasuke: Hm….'kay. It won't be hard.
ACD: Are you all done?
XOXOSilentListenerXOXO: Oh no! In the next broadcast, after your date, Sakura has to say whether or not she'd want to stay with Itachi if Tsunade would let her. And Itachi has to say whether or not he agrees with her opinion.
Sakura: Er…okay. I'm glad Tsunade isn't here to hear that now.
Itachi: -sighs- Alright.
ACD: Wow. I hope this doesn't become too dramatic. Bye XOXOSilentListenerXOXO! 5ug4r4L0v3, who has formally been known as Heartless Ghostie, doesn't have any questions or dares, but I think she has a little something to say.
5ug4r4L0v3: Yeah, all you ninja are WAY too loyal to your country. Sakura and Itachi REALLY need to get together! Have fun on your date!
Sasuke: Really? Does everyone HAVE to say that?
Naruto: -sulks- Apparently.
Sakura: -smiles- Mkay.
Itachi: Well, I'M not loyal to a country.
Deidara: You're loyal to Akatsuki.
Itachi: Well, I'll die if I betray them, so I think I'll stick with Akatsuki.
Deidara: This is true.
ACD: Okay, and last but not least, we have Shuiro Ecstasy, who was on here last time as Shuiro Mistress, my sister!
Shuiro Ecstasy: Hello, people! Now, since I'm her sister, I get to ask more questions and make more dares! I'm SPECIAL.
ACD: Whatever. Hurry up.
Shuiro Ecstasy: My first question is for Itachi.
Itachi: -sighs- YES, I'll be going on a date with Sakura after the show is over. You don't have to say it-
Shuiro Ecstasy: No, it's about Kisame.
-everyone gets quiet and wide-eyed-
Itachi: -gives her a suspicious look- Okaaaay….
Shuiro Ecstasy: I've heard rumors that he takes you out to clubs. Is that true?
-silence-
ACD: Wow.
Itachi: Uhh….. Who told you that?
Shuiro Ecstasy: Inside sources, now answer the question before I set my jelly bean army on you.
Itachi: Well…um…
Sasuke: -goes wide-eyed- Are you SERIOUS?
Deidara: …I think I just lost respect for you, yeah.
Itachi: Kisame is a very…needy person. When we stay in a town for a night, he drags me along to bars and clubs and such. It's nothing I do voluntarily.
Shuiro Ecstasy: So it IS true….. COOL. Can you dance for us?
ACD: Hell yeah! Good question, sis!
Shuiro Ecstasy: I know.
Itachi: Eh…I don't think so.
ACD: Damn…
Shuiro Ecstasy: Oh, come on! PLEEEEAAAASSSEE?
Itachi: -flinches- No.
Sasuke: Please don't.
Sakura: I say go for it.
Ino: I AGREE!!!
Lee: SAY YES TO YOUTHFUL DANCING!!!!!!!
-everyone stares at Lee-
Shuiro Ecstasy: Uh…never mind. Don't worry. I'll get him to do it later so I can record it.
ACD: -nods- Okay.
Itachi: Wait, what?
Shuiro Ecstasy: Now can I hug you?
Itachi: Huh?
Shuiro Ecstasy: Yay!
-Shuiro Ecstasy hugs Itachi-
Sasuke: -glares- I. Hate. Fangirls.
Orochimaru: Yes…hate is good… Lucky girl.
Gai: HOORAY FOR YOUTH!!!
Lee: I LOVE HUGS!!! HUG MY GAI-SENSEI!!!!
Sakura: Um…isn't he MY date?
Naruto: Forget him! Date me!
Ino: Wow. Now I'm starting to like Itachi, too.
Shikamaru: Greeeaaat. More Uchihas for you to whine about.
Choji: Shuiro Ecstasy's hot. Who has some chips?
Neji: This is weird.
Hinata: How odd…
Kiba: You're awake!!!
Shino: And you didn't stutter…
Kurenai: At least she's growing up.
Asuma: I hate Akatsuki.
Kakashi: If only Jiraiya were still here. This would make a great book.
Hanabi: I think ITACHI'S hot. I want him.
ACD: Back off!!! What are you, twelve?
Shuiro Ecstasy: I'm done! So, my final question is to Shino. Do you realize you are, like, awesomely cool?
Shino: …
Kiba: HUH??????
Hinata: Aw…g-good j-j-job, S-Shino…
Shuiro Ecstasy: Yeah, you're just about as cool as Itachi…except he has better hair, voice, age, and eyes…since, you know, I can't see yours. Which brings me to my first dare! Shino! I dare you to reveal your face!
Shino: Okay.
-Shino takes off glasses and pulls down collar-
Sakura: What the HECK?
Kurenai: My, my, Shino.
Ino: He's HOT?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?
Hinata: -blushes- W-wow…
Hanabi: THAT'S my sister's TEAMMATE???? Lucky!!!
Kiba: Holy shit! NO!!!!
Shuiro Ecstasy: That was easy.
Shino: Well, there isn't much of a reason for me to tell you no.
-puts glasses and collar back on-
ACD: Daaaamn. So what's next, sis?
Shuiro Ecstasy: Lee needs to tell Gai he hates him.
-Lee chokes and faints-
ACD: Saw that coming.
Shuiro Ecstasy: Crap. You ninja are weird. Now Neji has to put on Lee's jumpsuit. You KNOW they have a spare.
Neji: Never.
Shuiro Ecstasy: Yes.
Neji: No.
Shuiro Ecstasy: Yes.
Neji: No.
Shuiro Ecstasy: Yes.
Neji: No.
Shuiro Ecstasy: Yes.
Neji: No.
Hinata&Tenten: Yes.
Neji: What???
Shuiro Ecstasy: Ha! Overruled! Take him away!!!
Gai: I'm so PROUD!!! Here you go, Neji! I always liked you better anyway.
-hands Neji the jumpsuit-
Neji: Ohhhh, NO!
Hinata: I ORDER you to, Neji.
-everyone stares-
Neji: WHAT???
Hanabi: -nods- Or we'll call our dad!
Neji: You two are EVIL!!!
-the jumpsuit magically appears on Neji-
Neji: What the FUCK?
Hinata: -bursts out laughing with Hanabi- You look so silly, Neji!
Hanabi: We should braid his hair, too!
Neji: NO! How did that happen!?!?!?!?!?
ACD: It's a fanfiction dude. And I'm the writer. Here, I got some major skill. Anything can happen.
Shuiro Ecstasy: -stops laughing- Wow. Good job, ACD. Now, I'm gonna tell Naruto to entrust all his ramen to Hinata. And Hinata has to give all her pickles to Naruto. You seriously had me scared last time.
Hinata: -stops laughing and goes completely serious- What?
Kiba: Holy shit, Hinata's MAD!!!
Shino: …I think we should hide.
Naruto: No way! How will I eat it???
Hinata: -wide eyed- No.
ACD: Do it before I make you!
-Hinata starts screaming-
Neji: -plugs ears- Take it back!
Hanabi: Jeez, Hinata, just give up the pickles!
Hinata: -stops and turns slowly to Hanabi- What?
Hanabi: Uh…never…mind?
Hinata: NEVER!!! –runs out-
Naruto: What is WITH her?
ACD: Well, I guess THAT didn't work, either.
Shuiro Ecstasy: Okay, now SHE needs some medication. Or the looney bin.
Sasuke: Do you have any more dares? Please don't tell me ones for me…
Kiba: Yeah. You're scary.
Temari: For real.
Shuiro Ecstasy: Well, I have one more. And it's for Neji.
-everyone stops and stares at Neji, who goes wide-eyed-
Neji: Another one?
-sad music starts playing-
Sakura: We'll miss you, Neji.
Ino: -nods- We'll give your regards to Hinata when she comes back.
Kakashi: Too bad you won't be one of the proud K.I.A. So sad. Oh well.
Sasuke: -snorts- Good luck, stupid Hyuga.
Itachi: -settles down- This'll be amusing.
Deidara: -grabs popcorn- Suffering, yeah. Fun.
Hanabi: -snickers- Who has a camera?
ACD: What's the DARE?
Shuiro Ecstasy: I dare you to sing a Hannah Montana song.
-there's a pause and the music stops-
Neji: -looks relieved- You said that last time. I'm still not doing it.
Shuiro Ecstasy: Okay, then I have ONE MORE dare. Ino, use you Mind Transfer Jutsu and MAKE Neji do it.
Ino: -blinks-
Shuiro Ecstasy: Don't worry. No one will make fun of you for it.
Ino: -smiles suddenly- Okay!
Neji: -tries to run- NOOOO!!!!!
Naruto: GRAB HIM!!!
-Kiba and Naruto tackle Neji and hold him in place-
Hanabi: Hold on. –braids Neji's hair- All done.
Shikamaru: You're all clear, Ino.
Ino: -holds up hands and grins- MIND TRANSFER JUTSU!!!
Neji: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-- -suddenly stops as Ino's body falls-
Naruto: -backs away- …Ino?
Shuiro Ecstasy&ACD: We're ready! –pull out video recorders-
-everyone's silent watching Neji-
Neji: -suddenly looks up and grins- You get the BEEEESSST OF BOTH WORLDS!!!
-everyone bursts out laughing-
Sasuke: -clutching his stomach- THAT'S SO RICH!!!
Neji: Chillin' out, take it slow, then you ROCK OUT THE SHOW!!! You get the BEEEESSST OF BOTH WORLDS!!! Mix it all together and you know you got the BEST OF BOTH WORLDS!!!
ACD: This is priceless!!! This is SO going on YouTube!
Shuiro Ecstasy: Do another!
Neji: -starts dancing- Everybody makes mistakes! Everybody has those days! Everybody knows what, what I'm talkin' 'bout. Everybody gets that way! NOBODY'S PERFECT! I GOTTA WORK IT! AGAIN AND AGAIN 'TIL I GET IT RIGHT!!!
Shuiro Ecstasy: Okay, okay! You can stop now!
Neji: -shrugs- Okay!
-Ino goes back into her own body-
Ino: That was fun!
Neji: Someone shoot me!
ACD: Not now, Neji. We still have to do our contest.
Shuiro Ecstasy: I'm not done yet!
ACD: Well, then HURRY UP!
Shuiro Ecstasy: Butthole.
ACD: This is MY show. Hurry before I kick you off.
Shuiro Ecstasy: Fine! Okay, I just wanted to tell Sasuke that I'm really sorry for putting him through so much crap yesterday. I'm very sorry. –hugs him and whispers- Just stay away from Orochimaru.
ACD: Yeah, if you HAVE to be gay, be gay with someone like…Naruto.
-Naruto and Sasuke faint-
ACD: They're just not ready to come out yet.
Shuiro Ecstasy: -shakes her head sadly- Oh well. Now, to Itachi, I just want to tell you that I'm sorry for pestering you so much, too. My way of making it up to you was by not daring you to do anything today!
Itachi: -blinks, then smiles- Thank you.
Sakura: He…h-he SMILED!!!
Ino: -squeals- He's so CUTE!!!
ACD: I SO got a picture of that.
Shuiro Ecstasy: Aw, yay! –hugs Itachi- He smiled at me! Even though I really wanted to dare you… -quickly braids a strand of Itachi hair, then takes it out- Sorry.
Itachi: Uh, it's fine…I guess.
ACD: Okay, bye sis!
Shuiro Ecstasy: Bye, everyone!
ACD: Now, so that we have an interesting contest since I can't think of any, we're going to have ANOTHER guest on the show today. You all met Shuiro Ecstasy yesterday, my big sis, so now you all get to meet…drum roll please.
-a magical drum roll begins-
ACD: My LITTLE sister: SparrowFox!
SparrowFox: -does a crazy face- HI!
ACD: Not the time, SparrowFox. Anyway, this is her penname for other sites. She's not a writer like me and Shuiro Ecstasy, so she doesn't have a profile on . I'm just letting all of you know. So, SparrowFox, what should the contest be for today?
SparrowFox: …
ACD: Everyone be super quiet while she thinks.
-Jeopardy music begins to play as everyone is still-
SparrowFox: BEST GAY COUPLE!!!
-everyone sweat drops-
Kiba: I don't want to win THAT.
Sakura: Yeah…me neither.
ACD: No, it's perfect! Shinobi Hotline Contest #4: Best Gay Couple!
Everyone: What?!?!?!
ACD: -shrugs- I'm a fan of yaoi. Not so much yuri…but I like yaoi.
SparrowFox: Yay!!!!!! –blinks- I want the first couple to be Itachi and Sasuke.
Itachi: Um…
ACD: We're suppose to draw the names…
SparrowFox: -screams- ITACHI AND SASUKE!!!!! BEFORE I EAT YOU!!!
ACD: Okay, okay!!! Fine, Contestant #1: Itachi Uchiha and Sasuke Uchiha. Cheater.
SparrowFox: -snorts and snarls at the same time- Rawr!
-everyone backs away from SparrowFox-
ACD: Okay, now Sakura, pick out of this hat. Sasuke and Itachi's names are still in there, so they might get picked again.
Sakura: Crap… Uh… This says Lee…and this says…Gai. Go figure.
Gai: How…strange.
Kakashi: Not the kind of youth you were talking about?
Gai: I WILL TRY WITH ALL MY HEART TO WIN FOR MY STUDENT!!!
Kurenai: Does he even get it?
Asuma: I don't think so.
ACD: Nope. Now…oh, Sasuke's unconscious. I forgot. Orochimaru, you pick one.
Orochimaru: Why certainly… This one says…oh, Itachi. How exciting.
Itachi: -shudders- Eh.
Deidara: I feel sorry for you, yeah.
Itachi: Me, too.
Orochimaru: And this is… -frowns and glares at the paper- NARUTO?
Sakura: -bursts out laughing- Haha!!!
Ino: Uh…isn't Itachi YOUR date, Sakura?
Sakura: -stops laughing- Shit.
ACD: Glad Naruto's still unconscious, too. Contestant #2: Itachi Uchiha and Naruto Uzumaki.
Kakashi: Oh definitely.
Kiba: -snickers- What a loser.
SparrowFox: -tackles the hat and grabs two pieces of paper- Tenten and Temari!
ACD: You didn't even read it…
SparrowFox: -glares- So?
Temari: No. Way.
Shikamaru: Wow…
Ino: -bursts out laughing- Haha! Karma's a bitch, like you!
Tenten: -goes pale- I'd rather date Lee.
Temari: No shit, dumbass. I'd rather make out with Kankuro.
Kankuro: Gross.
Gaara: …
SparrowFox: -goes wide-eyed and whispers something to ACD-
ACD: -rolls eyes- Go ahead.
SparrowFox: Sweet! –runs over and attacks Gaara with a hug- I LOVE YOU, GAARA!!!!!!!
Gaara: -eyes grow huge- …
Temari: Wow. He actually has a fangirl?
ACD: Oh, you'd be surprised. SparrowFox, sit!
SparrowFox: -frowns and walks back over to ACD- Fine.
ACD: Good gremlin. –gives SparrowFox a cookie- 'Kay, Contestant #3: Temari and Tenten. Next!
Kakashi: I'll pick two.
ACD: Go for it.
Kakashi: -stares at the pieces of paper- Well…hehe…this is awkward.
ACD: Why? Who'd you get paired with?
Kakashi: Oh, not me. It's Neji and Shino.
Shino: That's weird.
ACD: That IS weird. Well, no one's voting for that pairing. Contestant #4: Neji Hyuga and Shino Aburame.
Kiba: Creepy. Let me pick one!
ACD: Alrighty.
Kiba: Um, this says Gaara and this says…
Gaara: …
Temari: ER…awkward.
Kankuro: -laughing hysterically- Who's the unlucky bitch?
Gaara: Pick a different name.
ACD: Sorry Gaara, but you have to participate. As of today, I'm getting stricter with the rules. You all signed contracts, so you HAVE to do what I say. You're making my readers get bored. Kiba, who's the dude?
Kiba: Sasuke…
ACD: Cool. So, Itachi and Sasuke are going up twice. Contestant #5: Sasuke Uchiha and Gaara.
Gaara: …I hate him.
Sakura: Lucky you.
Temari: Not so lucky YOU.
Sakura: Why?
Temari: 'Cause I just picked your name.
-Kakashi and Ino snort-
ACD: -picks another piece of paper- Well, the other one is Ino, so you can shut your face, piggy. Contestant #6: Sakura Haruno and Ino Yamanaka.
Sakura&Ino: WHAT?!?!?!? NO WAY!!!!!!!!
ACD: Too bad. SparrowFox, you pick the last one.
SparrowFox: -jumps at the hat- OKAY!
-paper goes flying everywhere-
ACD: Stupid.
SparrowFox: -holds up two pieces of paper- I gotta 'em!!!
ACD: Well, READ them.
SparrowFox: -looks at paper and starts laughing- DEIDARA AND SHIKAMARU!!
Ino: Woah! Not cool!
Deidara: Huh? No, yeah! No way!
Itachi: Deal with it. I'm either with my BROTHER or the person I'm supposed to KILL.
SparrowFox: -poking Shikamaru- He's asleep again!
ACD: Okay, readers. A nice night, no? Well, we've actually hit thirty pages in this one!
SparrowFox: -pulls out a frying pan- Want me to wake him up?
ACD: No! BAD SPARROWFOX! No hitting!
SparrowFox: -blinks innocently- I was just gonna fry him some eggs and bacon.
Ino: Weirdo.
Sakura: Don't cook Ino.
Ino: Forehead girl!
Sakura: PIGGY!
SparrowFox: Never mind! Jeez! –drops pan-
Shikamaru: OW!
SparrowFox: Oops! Sorry! Hey, you were paired with Deidara, Shikamaru!
Shikamaru: EHHH? Troublesome contest!
ACD: Okay. Goodnight everyone! Review and we'll see you next time, hopefully sooner!!! Bye!!!
SparrowFox: BYE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ACD: Calm down! See ya, everyone!