Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or its characters. I want to give a shout out to my beta DragonGirl323! Thanks for the added details!
(DOT)
After classes that day, I disappeared to my dorm, ignoring Sirius in the Common Room while doing so. I noticed him trying to wave me over out of the corner of my eye, but I just wanted to be alone. I was still mad at James. Professor Flitwick had asked me again if I was okay, and I gave him the same answer. The extremely small man looked reluctant to believe me, but nodded all the same and returned to teaching the lesson.
I then went on to Potions, passing the seventh year Slytherin and Gryffindor students that were leaving. I heard Remus say something about needing a 'special' potion soon and bit the corner of my lip as I slid inside the classroom. I knew about Remus' little problem– well, it wasn't very little at all – only because I was in the wrong place at the wrong time. I had snuck out last year, having seen my brother leaving the Common Room at an extremely late hour, and wanted to catch him in the act of doing something wrong. I was nearly scared out of my wits when a huge werewolf charged out of nowhere and nearly killed him. I screamed when I knew I shouldn't have and that's when it saw me. Right before I had run away, I was saved by a large stag. It dug its hooves defiantly into the moist ground, trying to deter the creature away from me, but when it didn't stop it's advances the immense animal used its antlers to drive it away. There were no words to describe how stunned I was when I learned that the stag was my brother. So, for the rest of the year, I took great pride in telling James the only decent thing he had ever done for me was save me from his best friend every chance I got.
Coincidentally, that year ended with the two of us having a screaming match in the courtyard over whether Mum or Dad would side with him about where to go for our family vacation that summer, in front of the entire school. He won the battle, but I was reduced to tears and he looked like a fool for the rest of the day.
The next morning, after I was already halfway to the Great Hall, I decided to skip breakfast even though I was terribly hungry. I had hardly eaten anything the other day after James had treated me like a red headed step-child. I went back the way I came, an idea slowly forming in my mind. Passing by a few second years that were lollygagging on the stairs, I made my way to the seventh year boy's dorm. Of course, I knew that meant strolling right through the Common Room, up the stairs and going into the boy's side of the dormitories in the middle of the morning. I risked being seen by at least a half a dozen people but that only made me want to be extra quick about it.
After tip-toeing down the hall a bit, I found the right door and slowly opened it. I was about ninety-five percent sure that they were all downstairs stuffing their faces so I heaved an enormous sigh of relief when the room was empty. I went quickly over to my brother's bed rummaged through his trunk, becoming extremely surprised when I realized all of his personal belongings were inside it. Seriously, how he managed to pick everything up, I wonder — oh, wait he's older and probably knows a spell! I thought, feeling a little silly that I hadn't thought about it before.
There were piles of clothing on either side of his trunk and finally, under a bag of sugar quills, I found the Invisibility Cloak. Just as I was about to stuff it into my bag and bolt for the kitchens, I heard the heavy footsteps of Remus coming up the hallway.
"It was rather rude of you, James," I heard Remus say. I saw the knob twitch and the door creaked as it opened a small amount.
"Come on, she had it coming," James replied. I could see his back through the crack and with little choice; I whipped the cloak around my shoulders and moved quietly to the corner near Sirius' bed.
James had his back turned as he entered the room, much to my relief. Remus and Sirius followed in after him wearing angry expressions.
"Why would she want to sit near me anyway? She never wants to. All I did was tell her that Lily was sitting there. She could have sat down anywhere else. She's just annoyed because she didn't get her way," James said, throwing his bag at the end of his bed. "Did I leave my trunk open this morning? Oh well." He kicked the top and the trunk snapped shut.
"Emily looked really hurt by what you did," Remus replied after a few moments. "You should apologize to her." I always did like Remus for being the most logical of them all. He had gone to sit on the end of his bed while he spoke and was currently clutching the fabric of his pants over his knees, his knuckles white with irritation over James' behavior.
"Nothing is wrong with her! Sirius, you talk to her more. What has she been doing recently?" James asked, though I could tell it was a forced question. It was one that Sirius took his time with answering, I was sure.
"You upset Emily, James. Frankly, I wouldn't blame her if she's still angry at you. You might not believe this, but you really hurt her. I agree with Remus. You need to apologize," Sirius stated as he flopped down on his bed. He sounded pretty confident about his words, but I couldn't help but feel that he was struggling to keep himself calm about what the truth was. Sirius looked to his right for a moment with his dark brows furrowed, but seemed to ignore whatever had bothered him while James and Remus continued their hushed argument.
Had Sirius seen me? I hoped not. Suddenly, while I had my attention on Sirius, a loud thud reverberated around the small room. I had to clamp my hand down on my mouth to prevent myself from crying out in fright. When I brought my eyes back to the quarreling pair of friends I knew almost immediately what had happened. James, in his childish anger, had kicked his bed. He was bouncing around on one foot while holding the other in both hands. He had done things like that quite often while we were growing up. I shifted my gaze to Remus and had to hold back from laughing. The expression on his face was absolutely priceless.
"Whatever, Remus! You don't understand the crap she has gotten away with all her life. Mum and Dad always wanted a daughter, and they got her!" James shouted, continuing to tenderly massage his throbbing toes. I muttered a quick healing charm and he stopped hopping about. You're welcome, I thought. Contrary to popular belief, I really didn't enjoy seeing my brother in pain even though he deserved it half the time. I'm not half as vindictive as he is.
"You guys, she's just my sister! How am I supposed to fix our relationship with an apology when we never talk or hang out? She stopped talking to me, so I stopped talking to her. It seems only fair!" James argued, pacing around the room in a huff.
Remus was about to protest when Sirius cut him off. "You can't honestly believe that do you? You mean a lot more to her than you think!" He jumped off his bed and I saw his hand was wrapped tightly around us wand. James drew his own wand and pointed it at Sirius.
Please, Sirius, don't curse my moron brother! My mind begged him and I held my breath as they stood there motionless, just staring at each other. Remus came to stand in between them.
"James, Sirius, now now, we can't fight like this over such a small matter! She only wanted to sit next to you. Why is that is problem?" Remus asked, looking directly at James.
"Stop defending her when she doesn't want our help. She hates me and I know why," said James, finally lowering his wand and sitting down on his bed.
"And why is that James?" Remus asked, still standing and holding Sirius at bay. My ears had perked up at my brother's words. I definitely wanted to hear this.
Finally James looked up at his friends and spoke. "She hates me because I'm the oldest. She's the youngest so she'll inherit nothing of the Potter name. That's the simplest answer and plus it fits. When we were younger, we spent all the time in the world playing and enjoying each other's company. Then we started here, and I found new friends. You two and Peter, and she was left behind at home for a year. Simply, she is jealous," James reasoned, sounding like he knew all the answers as usual.
Remus snorted in skepticism, obviously not believing such an outlandish tale. Thinking that the argument was over and done with, he dropped the arm that had been holding Sirius back and began to move away from him. Sirius, on the other hand, had different ideas. He shoved Remus out of the way and charged James, landing a punch to the side of his face. I gasped and covered my mouth in shock, not expecting him to do something like that. Remus grabbed Sirius' arm and dragged him back.
"What the hell, Padfoot!" James shouted, holding his cheek that was quickly becoming swollen. Sirius' eyes were seething with anger and I knew then that he had snapped.
"Can you not say your own sister's name anymore? Do you even remember that she has a name? It's Emily, in case you forgot!" Sirius howled at James. He then tried to get out of Remus' grip but failed to do so.
James began to walk out of the room with a sneer on his face but I couldn't stay silent any longer. I knew that I would be discovered but I didn't care. The sting of his words had rattled me to my core.
I was shocked that James thought that was why I hated him so when it wasn't even true. I hated him for . . . well . . . hang on . . . why did I hate him so much to begin with? I had been very jealous about him going to Hogwarts when he got his letter, but I understood that I would get one too.
I let my tears flow freely down my face, trying to pretend that I was the only one left in the room. I bowed my head as my shoulders began to quiver. After a few moments, my shoulders were shaking so forcibly that the cloak slipped off my head and revealed me to everyone. James had stopped when he heard me crying and his eyes opened wide with disbelief when he saw me standing in the back of the room. Remus and Sirius were equally shocked that I was even there, but the latter was the only one that followed me as I ran out the room, pushing James roughly out of my way while I passed him.
I was so ashamed to call James my brother! I was ashamed to just say his name. I didn't even want to be associated with him anymore. I could hardly see a thing as I ran through the deserted halls, not even knowing where I was headed to. After what felt like hours, my legs gave out and I collapsed on one of the walls, breathing heavily as I sank onto the floor. Sirius caught up with me a few seconds later. He wrapped his arms tightly around me and crushed me to his chest. I stuffed my face into his shirt and continued to bawl, a couple of hiccups sneaking up on me. It had been a long, long time since I had been this hysterical and I wasn't proud of it.
"Emily, I'm so sorry! That was very rude of him," he said, his voice was gentle even though he was out of breath. His soothing words did nothing to placate me. I tried speaking but no matter how hard I tried, nothing intelligible would come out.
Sirius just held me in place while I cried, being more patient with me than he had ever been with . . . my brother, Remus or Peter. He patted my hair down and attempted to get me to calm down even though I was practically inconsolable. I expected Sirius to become frustrated with me and leave me to calm down on my own but he stayed adamantly by my side, riding out the storm with me. After awhile, when my mind cleared and my sobs lessened, I turned to Sirius and kissed him tenderly. I let him kiss away the tears that remained. I needed him so much and I knew there was nothing that he wanted more than to go all the way, but this wasn't the way that I wanted to go about it. I was a blubbering mess with my brother's rejection still fresh in my mind. When we finally consummated our love for each other I wanted the occasion to be special. I never wanted to be like this again.
The clock was chiming midnight when we both returned to the Common Room. I finally agreed to Sirius' plan. After being utterly humiliated by James, I wanted a little retribution. Sirius would tell him in week's time that I had recovered from his insult and found myself a boyfriend. What James wouldn't know is that Sirius was actually my boyfriend "Thomas" until we wanted to end the charade.
For the next month, after word got around that I, Emily Potter, was actually seeing someone, rumors spread like wild fire about who the lucky guy was. None of our friends would know, not even Remus or Lily, about our little white lies. I hated to keep secrets, but we were already keeping our relationship a secret as it was. Sirius assured me that he would watch over me well in case anything happened with James again.
He was a Marauder, after all, and kept to his word.
Around November, two months after our secret began; Sirius began receiving questions from his friends, especially my brother, about who was sending him cards and gifts every day. It was me of course, sending them only to make James jealous of all the attention Sirius was getting. It seemed to work, since after three weeks of getting anonymous cards, James plucked one of them from Sirius' hands while he was reading it.
"Who wrote this, Padfoot?" I heard him ask Sirius as they left the Great Hall one morning.
Sirius just snatched the letter back, tucked it into his bag and told James to mind his own business. I watched as he winked at a random girl and then purposefully dropped his bag. He waved James and the others on as he leaned down to pick it up, spotting me in the process and flashing his signature smile at me. I smiled back and watched as he bounded down the hall after his friends.
Sirius and I laughed about the gifts and cards each night. We would usually spend Sunday nights planning out the week's gifts to the other in the Room of Requirement since hardly anyone knew about it. Sirius explained to me the first night he had brought me here that himself and James would come here to hide from the teachers. I had rolled my eyes at him and joked that only him and my brother would actually need to hide from anyone. I also teased him about hiding away in here to hide from his other admirers. He didn't think that was very funny.
Presently, we were laying on some red cushions that were littered around the room. It was Sunday night and we were plotting our next week's worth of gifts. He was wearing a simple pair of black jeans and a V-cut shirt, which showed off his muscles. I wore a light purple dress and black flats. The ends of my dress were drawn up a bit as Sirius attempted to have his way, but his foot caught the objects to our left as he wrestled around on the floor with me. Beside us was a tray that had bread and strawberries and two goblets filled with pumpkin juice. Sirius hadn't shaved in a week so I reluctantly kissed him, my face twitching as his whiskers brushed across my skin. Sirius' face was practically covered in pink lipstick when we left. I later heard that James gave him grief for it.
Monday's and Thursday's were specifically reserved for Sirius to focus on homework, which rarely happened. If it did, I was usually the one trying to keep him on track. During the time he was working, I spent it helping myself to all of his books. He had spectacular taste in literature.
James and Lily were planning an end of the term Christmas party for those staying for the holidays. Since this would be the one time that Professor Dumbledore would allow Butterbeers in the castle, mostly everyone accepted their invitation. Sirius and I had a great many conversations about whether or not to reveal ourselves at the party but we still hadn't made a decision as the date crept closer and closer.