A/N: I'm sorry for the wait; I have been kind of stressed out as of late. Hopefully you still remember what this story is about. Anyways, I really appreciate everyone's reviews, reading them is what I look forward to the most these days. Thanks!
ELLIOT."…Epidural Hematoma which occurs in the skull, it is caused by trauma, most likely when Ms. Benson's head hit the concrete. Now, sir, this is a very dangerous type of injury because the bleeding is from a high-pressure place, and deadly increases in pressure can happen quickly. Ms. Benson will have a loss of consciousness, then should awaken, but most likely only to have her condition deteriorate in ways such as vomiting and restlessness and then she may loose conciousness again. She's got three fractured ribs, and some bruising…"
The doctor's voice was like a distant echo in his mind the minute he saw her. She was just lying there…looking so…broken. He blinked twice because he couldn't have been seeing clearly. Olivia Benson painted many a picture, but this was definitley not one of them. Olivia Benson portrayed the image of confidence, of awareness, and she walked with an intimidating swagger when trying to impress. Olivia Benson was not the one to step down and let others take the lead. Olivia Benson was independent, she was strong.
And yet there she was.
Her eyes were swollen and closed, and the gentle flutter indicating life was barely present. Her hair was flat against the pillows behind her head, and the delicate way that it framed her head only accentuated the pale, chalkiness of her face. Her chest rose and fell with small little bursts of air.
Elliot hated machines. He'd had his fair share of experiences with them, and seeing as none of the times he'd been hooked to one had been pleasant, he'd grown to dislike them. Seeing his partner all wired and tubed up was worse than anything. There waw something in the raw helplessness of it all that pierced him right through the heart. There was something about the way Olivia looked like she was on the brink of death itself that made something behind his eyes prickle.
"And the…" Elliot had to clear his throat. "And the…the rape kit?" The familiar words sounded so forgien on his tongue. He spoke the words regularily on the job, but when he spoke them with Olivia on his mind, it just seemed so umbelievably wrong.
"We haven't done one yet."
Ice water was splashed down his back. They hadn't done it? What the hell was he talking about? "What the hell are you talking about?"
"Ms. Benson lost conciousness in the ambulance on the way here. She hasn't regaind awarness and therefore can't give the hospital permission to begin the exam."
Elliot exhaled harshly, and rubbed his eyes with the heels of his hands. "Well, when will she be awake?"
"One can only guess. I'd say…maybe three or four hours. Sorry, Detective."
Elliot felt numb as the young doctor turned his back and walked through a set of double glass doors at the end of the hallway. In three hours, he was going to face the hardest case he'd ever worked.
OLIVIA.It was dark, and so cold, in the place she currently resided. She didn't know where she was, though, and that scared her. She didn't know the time, or the date, or what was happening. It was a total lack of control.
Whenever she tried to walk, she ended up falling, and her stomach dropped with her as she plunged into the black abyss that was the sight before her. It was frustrating, because everything happened ten times slower than her brain was accustomed to. She decided it was like floating in outer space, a vast expanse of darkness, crushing in its immensity and yet curiously reassuring at the same time, only without the comforts of gravity to keep her floating. Because every time she moved, she fell.
It was so strange, because she couldn't see anything, and yet she could see everything. It was like falling through a looking glass and everything that had once been confusing to her was re-born, crystal clear.
Too clear.
A mirror appeared in front of her, and images were painted on the shiny surface like they would if she was watching television. They flickered at first, but the closer she watched them, the more defined they became. It was a building. The side of a building. And there was something dark in the foreground but a shadow was covering it, obscuring it, rendering it unidentifiable. The figure lunged, and she felt the pain as acutely as she saw it. Suddenly, she was watching the stars as they loomed above her. But cold roughness was below her back.
Massive hands reached for her hips and she didn't like it, she didn't like it. She felt, she felt so much, but she didn't want to feel. It was too much. Too much, too much, too much. She feared she might combust if she were asked to take anything else in.
The shadow was heavy, it weighted down on her chest, squeezing the air out of her lungs and she felt searing intensity in her torso as sickening cracks could be heard.
She wanted to yell, she wanted to make some kind of noise, but her mouth was sealed shut…she wanted to kick, her instinct was to punch, but her lunges were slow and sloppy, her limbs too heavy to exercise. She was too tired to try and lift them, she was too tired, so tired…But she couldn't give up…no…no… "No…no…"
ELLIOT."No…no…" Olivia's mumbling caught his attention, and he lifted his heavy head from his hands.
"Liv?" He cautiously approached the bed.
She was silent, but she constantly twitched, as if trying to ward off some kind of evil.
"Olivia?" He tried again, and bent over the edge of her bed, taking her hand in his. "Wake up,"
Olivia scrunched up her nose and her eyelids fluttered.
"Yeah, good girl, Liv. Wake up. There you go," He gave her hand a gentle squeeze. She surprised him when she whimpered and yanked her hand out of his grasp. She kept fussing, tossing her head from side to side and mumbling a string of incoherent words. Elliot placed a hand on her forehead. "Sshhh, it's okay, you're okay."
Olivia's eyes opened fully, but she slammed them shut again at the onslaught of the brightly lit room. "Elliot?" Her words were slurred.
"Yeah. Hey, it's just me."
"Elliot, who…where…"
"Hush, Liv. It's all right. Don't worry." He felt horrible for lying, especially to her, especially now. "Just relax."
"Elliot, it's awful…it's so awful…"
"I know, I know."
And she fell asleep again.
TWO HOURS LATER.ELLIOT.
He needed a break. Well, his body needed a break. Not that he'd give in to any sense of relief. The coffee machine would have to wait. Olivia had been awake for twenty-three minutes in counting. And she refused point blank to talk to anyone. Not the doctor, not the nurse, not the hospital physiatrist. Not even him. She'd only said that she wanted to be left alone, and through the window of her room, Elliot could see that she hadn't moved. She was just staring blankly at the wall. As if she were in a trance.
And Elliot had had just about enough. He couldn't begin to understand what she'd been through, but he wanted to catch the son of a bitch so much that his hands were actually trembling. They shook as he turned the handle on her door.
"Hey, Olivia."
Silence.
"You holding up okay?"
Silence.
He cleared his throat once. "Um. Need me to get the doctor?"
Silence.
"Okay, so I'll be right back. I'm just going to go get Dr. Richardson."
"Don't."
It wasn't much, but it was the first word she'd uttered since demanding solidarity.
He walked over to her bed, careful not to startle her. He made sure that his hands were where she could see them. He could never be too careful. And careful he had to be, because Olivia was unreadable right now. Being her partner of ten years, Elliot had developed a certain affinity when it came to Olivia. He always had a feel for what she was thinking, how she was about to react, what her next move was. It was like their minds were wired. Interconnected on a level that others could only imagine.
And now? Blank. Nothing. He had absolutely no clue as to what was running through her mind. He only knew her stony silent façade.
"Why are you here, El?" She asked, and it was strange because her voice was soft and girly and she cocked her head to the side. It was totally not the Olivia Benson he knew. And loved.
"Liv…you know why I'm here."
She narrowed her eyes. She was silent for a few seconds, but then realization dawned in her eyes, and then: "I'm not doing it."
He raised his hands to cover his eyes. "Olivia, don't start this."
"It's my choice, Elliot. Mine."
"Please, Olivia, please. Let me catch this guy."
"There's no point. What's done is done…I…I…I can't take it…it's too much…"
Her knees came up and she placed her arms around them, burying her face in the cradle they formed. "Don't look at me."
Well. Okay. That was weird.
"What?"
"I don't want you to see me like this, El."
And then he realized. Olivia didn't want to be dependant. She didn't want anything to change just because someone took her control. She didn't want him to think she was weak. She was terrified, and wasn't going to let him help without a fight.
"Go away. Please."
"Liv, I'm not judging you."
Silence.
"Olivia, please, take the exam."
Silence.
"Liv…"
Silence.
Oh, boy. This was indeed going to be very, very hard.
A/N: Please review!