A/N:

I have a feeling your guys are going to hate me for this following chapter. :) But then again, you might not. Just keep in mind that we all make certain mistakes in our lives, it's called the natural course of life, trial and error.

Please review and let me know what your thoughts are on this chapter.

As usual, I own nothing, I just love to write and Jacob and Bella are awesome inspirations.

THE PATHS WE CHOOSE

No! I had been so damn close, no, just NO! I stopped and planted my heels into the dirt. Jacob was suddenly jerked to a stop and looked back at me through furrowed eyebrows.

"Bells?" Jacob's eyes narrowed, his voice was so deep.

I looked up at him nervously.

Jacob took a step closer to me. His chest rose and fell a little faster, everything stood still. My heart was thudding loudly in my ears and I felt like I was going to pass out, was I hyperventilating? I opened my mouth and let out a small squeak. I couldn't talk.

His eyes were so beautiful and dark. His tongue slowly pushed its way out from in between his beautiful full lips and swept across them leaving a shiny layer of moisture in its path. My heart kept thudding. He took another hesitant step towards me. I could feel the heat radiating off of his body from our proximity, my skin was instantly covered in a million goose bumps. I looked into his hopeful, confused eyes. His hand slowly tugged on my hand, silently calling me closer to him, I was too weak not to obey. I stepped closer to him, our bodies pressed together. His head slowly began its decent towards mine, hesitantly and so painstakingly slow.

Something inside of me snapped. God, what am I doing? Do I have any clue what is about to happen or what I'm about to do? I – I'm about to ruin – Everything!

I want to kiss him, I do, but I don't want to ruin our friendship. I'm broken – and used – and I can't put poor Jacob through the agony of having to put me back together again. I'm selfish! It's just not fair to him. I – I won't. I can't. He deserves better than me.

If life had taught me anything at all, it was that relationships ruin everything. I had two relationships and they both ended very badly. There was no way I was going to make that mistake again, or put poor Jacob through the drama of a breakup. I couldn't – I wouldn't.

Once again, defeated by my subconscious, I was forced to take a step back – away from that which I wanted so badly but could not bring myself to take. His eyes widened just the slightest bit.

"I – I… I'm sorry." My head dropped in shame.

After five years you'd think I would stop torturing poor Jacob. I don't know what's wrong with me? I felt his warm hand against my face. He slid his fingers under my chin softly and lifted my face to look at him.

"Hey…" His voice was a whisper.

I willed my eyes to look up at his, even though I felt so embarrassed and so irrevocably mean – no, evil for what I'd just done. That was it, I was evil, the lowest of the low, I don't deserve his friendship.

"S'ok Bells." His fingers softly caressed my chin.

I looked at him with apologetic eyes. His face warmed instantly and the most beautiful Jacob smile spread across his face.

"I'm not going anywhere…" He spoke softly. "I'm always going to be here for you." His thumb gently swept forward and ran across my bottom lip.

I felt a chill run up my spine.

"Thanks Jake." I leaned into his hand.

That was the best part of Jacob Black, no matter how foolish I acted he always remained my sweet best friend.

Though the lump in my throat was thick, I managed to squeak out one final. "I'm – sorry."

"Shhh… there's no need for apologizing, s'ok."

He wrapped his arms around my back and pulled me into his chest tightly. I felt him sigh, a deep, long sigh. I felt horrible. My arms snaked their way around his waist as I nestled my cheek against his warm chest pulling him tightly against me, trying so hard to convey with my body that which my mouth was too chicken to say.

His stomach rumbled loudly against me. I looked up at him and could not contain my laughter.

"Let's go get you some food hungry." I said with a smile.

Jacob grinned big and took my hand again, leading me towards the food court.

The rest of the night Jacob was determined to show me a good time. He drug me back and forth from one ride to the next and kept me laughing with his witty sarcastic jokes.

Quil and Embry finally caught back up with us right before the fairgrounds had closed. They had evidently hooked up with some hot chicks and had scored their phone numbers. They gushed all the way back to Forks about the girls they had met.

Jacob was the perfect gentleman as always, he walked me up to my door and gave me a sweet hug good night.

"Night Bells." He rubbed his hand across my back soothingly. "Sorry I can't stay tonight, I have to run patrol." He looked down at me apologetically.

"It's ok Jake, don't worry I'm tired so I probably wouldn't have been very good company. I'm probably just going to pass out." I tried to ease his guilt a little.

"Promise me something." His eyebrows furrowed.

"Anything." I would truly do anything for him after what I did to him tonight.

"Promise me you'll get your ass in bed and not fall asleep on the couch." His lips curled up into a smile.

"Sure, sure. Hey. The couch is comfortable." I grumbled.

"Just get your ass to bed Bella." He rolled his eyes at me.

"Yes sir." I saluted cheekily.

"Night Bella!" Embry and Quil called out from the car window.

"Yeah, I think that was a hint." I looked at Jake and giggled. "You better get going." I turned to the car. "Night guys!"

"Yeah, you're probably right. Night honey." He ruffled his hand though my hair playfully and skipped off of the porch and back to the car.

They waited until I was safely in the house before they drove off. I kicked off my sneakers at the front of the door and hung up my jacket. I was so tired from all the walking we had done today. I walked over to the couch and fell back into the deep soft cushions.

I grabbed the remote control and flipped the television on. Commercial… infomercial… Spanish Soap Opera… another infomercial… Ugh, nothing on. I turned the TV back off and plunked the control down on the coffee table. There was a gentle knock on the front door. I looked up and felt a smile spread across my face. Maybe Jacob had changed his mind and come back.

"Coming." I called out and quickly walked over to open the door.

I turned the lock and swung the door open, standing on the other side was the last person in the world I would have expected to be standing there. Mike Newton.

"Hey babe." He had a huge goofy grin plastered on his face.

"Um… hey." I said surprised.

Mike and I hadn't seen each other in a few weeks and I was really surprised by his unexpected visit.

"Can I – come in?" He asked shyly.

"Uh – sure." I stepped to the side and allowed him room to walk in.

I closed the door hesitantly silently wishing that the man standing in my house were Jacob and not Mike.

Mike is a good guy, maybe a little persistent, but good nonetheless. I guess what they say about persistence paying off is true. He had pursued me all throughout high school when he knew I was dating Edward and then continued to do so after Edward had left.

A year of persuasion later I finally gave in to his many attempts of asking me out and went to a movie with him. Turned out that we had a lot in common, he liked to read the same books that I had loved to read and had a knack for writing that he had kept concealed from everyone.

We had dated for several months, casually, nothing serious and then one night he kissed me. No one other than Edward had ever kissed me, so you can imagine my shock. I was still in such an emotionally vulnerable state in my life and was longing for the loving touch of a man. Mike was the perfect gentleman, he was soft and tender and obviously head over heels for me, so one night I gave in and slept with him.

I can't say it was mind blowing or the earth shattering, it was just sex, but he did satisfy me, so I guess I couldn't really complain. We had a short lived romantic relationship in which I refused to allow him into my heart, and that was our ultimate demise. He couldn't deal with the fact that I would not get over Edward and move on, so we broke up.

A few weeks later he had show back up and told me that he didn't care that I was unwilling to give him my heart, he just needed me and couldn't get me out of his mind. He sweet talked his way back into my life and back into my bed.

Our relationship since has been that of friends with benefits. No strings attached, just a good time when ever the one of us had an itch to scratch.

"You look good." He looked me up and down with hungry eyes.

"Thanks." I ran my hand through my hair nervously.

I knew why he was here, it was obvious by the look in his eye, but things had changed – I had changed. I didn't know if I could bring myself to tread back on waters I should have abandoned a long time ago.

"I missed you." He said roughly and took a step towards me.

His hand reached out and touched my face. He paused for a moment to look in my eyes and leaned forward. My heart screamed out for me to stop, but my body felt weak to his touch. I let him lean closer and did nothing when his lips brushed over mine. The familiarity of his mouth was comforting.

Mike had been the only man I'd ever slept with, he knew me – he knew exactly which buttons to push to make my body respond to him. His tongue swept across my lower lip requesting access. With a slight shiver I gave in and parted my now wanting lips. His hands grabbed my hips and pulled me closer to him roughly.

"God Bella, I missed how you taste." He panted against my lips.

His hand slid up my waist over my stomach, he hesitantly cupped my right breast and started to knead softly, his thumb brushing over my sensitive nipple and making me whimper into his mouth. His other hand pulled lightly on my waist guiding us back to the living room.

He slowly laid me back onto the couch and crawled up on top of me, this was so wrong – but I was too turned on to stop him. I needed this, I wanted it so badly. Nights and nights of wet dreams of Jacob Black had left me wanting and weak. I longed for release.

His hands wasted no time in pulling up my shirt, it was quickly discarded on the ground. I was panting loudly, his hips were grinding into me – his erection was painfully obvious.

My body was begging for release, I didn't want foreplay – it was penetration I was craving the most at that very moment. I quickly reached down and undid his pants.

"A little impatient?" He said smugly.

"Well, didn't you come here to fuck Mike?" I asked bluntly. "That's what you want isn't it?"

"Well – yeah." He raised his eyebrows. "I just thought…"
"Quit thinking and just fuck me already." I demanded.

He shut up with that and pulled my pants and panties down quickly. He rummaged through his jean pocket and extracted a condom, which he quickly tore open and rolled on himself. His hand reached down in between our bodies and positioned his shaft at my entrance. He slid his head back and forth a few times, teasingly and then finally slid his full length inside of me.

"Fuck." I bit down on my bottom lip.

One thing I could always count on with Mike was his urgency to give me release. He always said he loved feeling me come on him, so he did everything possible to get me off.

My orgasm came quickly from his fast thrusts, it was satisfying but not mind blowing, I just couldn't bring myself to fully let go and enjoy. With a loud grunt he came to his own release panting and sweating against me.

"Fuck Bella." He moaned. "That was fucking amazing."

Yeah, right. Fan-fucking-tastic.

"Wooh." He sat up on the edge of the couch and shook his head back and forth.

I reached over and pulled the throw cover that was on the back of the couch over my self in an attempt at concealing my nakedness. We sat there in awkward silence for a while coming down from our release.

"Wow." He looked over at me. "Wow babe, you came hard huh?"

Oh-kay.

"Yeah… I guess so." What else was I supposed to say? Oh yes Mike, thank you for gracing the world with your magical penis?

I suddenly felt really – really – dirty. God, I shouldn't have ever let him…

"Well…" He scrubbed his hand through his hair. "That – was fun." He squeaked out. "We should do it again some time."

He leaned forward and picked up his pants and boxers from the ground. He quickly slid them on and fastened his belt.

"You're ok with me not spending the night right? Or, did you want to do the girly cuddling thing?" He asked in a very nonchalant tone.

"No – I'm cool, zero cuddling necessary." He was the last person I wanted in my bed cuddling with me tonight.

"Oh-kay then." He elongated his words. "Well…" He clasped his hands together and nodded his head. "Sleep tight." He leaned down and quickly pecked me on the lips.

I cringed and wrapped the blanket around my body tightly and watched him walk towards the door.

"Night Bella." He had a smug smile on his face. "Thanks again babe."

He opened the door and walked out closing it behind him. Another good thing about Mike – he never lingered when I didn't want him around.

I grabbed my clothes off of the floor and walked upstairs. I took a long hot shower and crawled into bed exhausted and unsatisfied.

The next morning I woke up from a particularly good Jacob dream sweating. I was awake but my eyes were still shut tightly, I was still very tired and hot. Very, very hot. I reached behind my head and grabbed the pillow. I yanked it out from under my head and landed on a very hard warm object.

My body shot up in surprise. I looked over to find Jacob sleeping peacefully on the other side of the bed. His arm resting in the space once occupied by my pillow. I felt overwhelmingly happy to see him and disgusted with myself for what I'd done the last night.

Jacob's hands suddenly grabbed my waist and pulled me back down on the bed.

"S'too early." He grumbled. "M'go back to sleep."

How could I say no to him? He wrapped his arm around my shoulders and pulled my back into his chest.

"M'sorry I startled you." He said sleepily. "I was too tired to go home and your house was closer." He yawned. "So I used the spare key."

"It's ok Jake." I yawned back.

"Where's your pillow?" He mumbled.

I reached over the side of the bed to get the pillow that had fallen down when I had jumped up earlier. I looked over and saw Jacob breathing deeply, his lips slowly parted as he fell asleep.

"Jake?" I whispered softly.

He didn't respond, instead he began to snore lightly. One thing was certain about Jacob, he always slept like a rock, nothing could wake him up once he decided to relax and fall asleep. That was a good thing, especially right now.

My mind was instantly filled with images of the dream I had last night. His hands touching my body – his lips kissing me – his tongue on my skin. I felt my body shiver.

Jacob's chest rose and fell with each deep peaceful breath he took. God his lips looked so soft and inviting. I wanted to kiss him so badly, and after what happened at the fair last night it was hard for me to resist him.

"Jake?" I said a little louder, but got no response.

He was out cold. I reached out towards his face hesitantly and paused for a moment to make absolutely sure that he was asleep. He continued snoring, his lips pouting outwards, he was completely relaxed and unconscious.

My hand continued up towards his face, I curled all of my fingers into a loose fist, except for my index finger – I hesitated – Jacob kept up his snoring. I chewed on my bottom lip nervously as I reached out and touched his bottom lip. It was warm and velvety against my finger. I quickly looked up towards his eyes – they were tightly shut.

God Bella, you've lost your mind. What are you doing? I chastised myself unconsciously as my finger kept lightly trailing over Jacob's bottom lip. Could I get away with more?

I placed a little more pressure on his lip with my fingertip – he did not move, his snoring in fact got louder. Jacob was completely unconscious in his sleep and I felt like a pervert molesting him. Well, it's only his lips, it's not like I'm touching him inappropriately or anything, right?

His lips looked and felt so good under my finger. I couldn't help but wonder if they tasted as good as they looked. And with that thought I did the unthinkable. I leaned forward slowly, hesitantly, towards his face. I shot a quick look up to his tightly shut eyes.

I shouldn't.

My head moved subconsciously and on its own will towards his face. I was powerless to stop myself. My breaths were shallow and shaky as I approached his lips with mine. I could feel his hot breath against my lips, my breath hitched in the back of my throat.

What am I doing?

Another quick look to his shut eyes.

I leaned a little closer and just barely brushed my lips against his. I bit back a moan. My tongue threatened mutiny if I didn't release it from my mouth.

This is so wrong.

My lips parted slightly and my tongue swept out over his bottom lip. I felt electricity course through my body. His sweet earthy taste lingered on my tongue, and I wanted more. Jacob moaned lightly. My head quickly snapped back, my eyes immediately looked up towards his.

His eyes remained tightly shut, his snoring continued. I sighed with relief. You'd think that would have been enough to stop me – but it wasn't. I just wanted one more taste. I couldn't help myself.

I looked up again. His eyes were shut peacefully.

I leaned forward one more time and parted my lips – softly – very softly – I touched my lips to his. Jacob continued to snore loudly, his breath tickling my lips. My heart was thudding in my chest. I molded my lips against his – cautiously – and swept my tongue across his bottom lip once again.

Ok Bella, that's enough. Stop.

With a heavy heart and wanting lips I pulled away from him and lay back down. This would have to be enough for now.


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