I don't know what to say... This was here forever and I didn't post it sorry .

...Enjoy?

CHAPTER FOUR:

YOUR LOVE IS STATIC

"I didn't think you'd come..." said the brunet, staring up at the other with wistful eyes."I thought you might have forgotten, or would've changed your mind, or something. That's the way it usually is."

"I'd be lying to say I didn't think about it," Logan replied with a sigh. "Mind if I take a seat?"

"It's been waiting for you, a lot longer than I was. When you hung up, I called here just to get everything in order."

Logan looked around, taking in the new place. Strictly speaking, he'd never been there before, but he had heard about it. It was the kind of place you wanted to take that special person- the candlelight, the music that made you feel as though time had slowed down, that made you feel as though the moment would last forever. Logan felt a pang in his heart. It was the kind of place he wanted to be with Kendall.

"You're thinking about something," James pointed out. "Your eyes went distant, and you didn't answer my question."

Logan eyed his menu. "Question? Ummm… I don't drink alcohol?"

James let out a chuckle, rolling his eyes. "Okay then. I asked you if you knew the name of that sheep that tends to walk more to the front in the flock?"

Logan knitted his eyebrows. "What? I take it we're not talking about food?"

"It's a joke, just to break the ice... Answer?"

Logan shook his head.

"Wait for it... a leaderSHEEP. Get it?"

"That took real skills, James," Logan said, "Yet it was perhaps one of the stalest jokes I heard for a while."

"You don't get out much, do you?"

Logan shrugged. "I've been told."

James leaned back onto his chair, a small frown on his lips. "For meeting your friend after such a long time, you're being mean." James tried to keep a serious face, but the humor found its way into his eyes.

"Really? I'm sorry."

"It's fine. Really. Goading is all right. I grew up with a brother and sister... THAT took patience. You have siblings?"

Logan managed a weak smile, finding his gaze drawn by James' chocolate brown eyes. They were a lighter shade to his, and by usual genetics, brown eyes were relatively common. But there was a way the candlelight reflected off of them that made it difficult to look away.

"No, but I have... had... a best friend." A pause. "And he's the reason I'm here tonight."

...

James went all-business. His quirky smile which Logan, personally, found quite endearing, vanished, to be replaced by a attentive stare. Logan felt slightly disconcerted but this, he recalled, was the reason he came. He needed to talk to someone. He wanted to know if all of the feelings that still swirled haphazardly within him were normal.

"I'm not going to interrupt, at least I'd try not to. You can take as long as you need. And when you're done, if you'd like, we can talk about it. But I think, in my professional opinion, you need to get it out of your system first... It's about this boy, I take it?"

"His name is Kendall," Logan began. No hesitation. "We spent most of our lives in the same classes growing up, we went to the same school, and we were best friends. In high school I was different, I guess... I liked being by myself, I preferred NOT liking what everyone else found amazing. And I knew it meant I would not be popular, but I always felt people should like me for me. Not because I liked the same things as them, or thought the same way as they did. But Kendall… Kendall… was always there. He called me weird, sure, and he laughed at me, but it was fine. Because he made me feel as though... I was different, and that was okay.

"When our time in high school was coming to an end, it occurred to be that something wasn't right. I wasn't happy when it came to our friendship. He had a friend... who happened to be a girl and I found myself competing for his attention. Thinking about it now, it was stupid. But I thought, if anyone had to be the person he fell in love with, it would be the person he knew the longest. I thought it would be..."

"You," James completed for him, "You fell ... you ARE in love with Kendall?"

"I don't know what this feeling is, and in the beginning, it was worse. I mean, I felt so much for him... So much so that at times it was overbearing. And in loving him, there came expectations. Not that I thought he felt the same way, but I kinda hoped I wasn't that invisible to him. I thought he'd know without me telling him. And I thought wrong. He had an informal girlfriend. And I stood in the way of him leading a normal life. I was stressing him out, I was killing myself slowly... and I left town that year and went to university… where our paths crossed."

"And even after all this time?"

Logan took a deep breath. "I came back to town this year, and found out he was engaged to the girl... And I wanted to tell him. I wanted to tell him SO bad. But I can't spoil everything. When we met, he was upset initially. He said that friends didn't do that to other friends.. and I knew it was true. In some way, I guess it was my fault things worked out the way they did. But we ended up resolving to start over."

"You want to start over a friendship with someone you love? Because you just want to keep him in your life?" James's question stung. For the mere reason it hit the nail on the head.

Logan wiped a tell-tale tear from the corner of his eye. "Yeah, and considering everything.. I don't think it was a bad decision. Until well, I thought it was necessary to call someone. My emotions are on tenterhooks. It gets harder when I know no matter how much I want this, I just can't get it."

"Huh," James scoffed to himself, "Funny how life works..."

Then to Logan, "Firstly I need to tell you that this is normal. I mean, normal enough to be fixed with some care and attention. Psychiatrists call it reactive depression- Depression due to an external stimulus that you're unable to cope with. I think, and please don't be upset. I think that Kendall is your chronic stressor, and he will continue to be unless you do something."

"Like move on?"

"Why haven't you tried? I mean, you are everything a person can be looking in a partner, and you're wasting your life away over someone who doesn't understand, nor would hardly unlikely feel the same."

"I care about him." And the moment Logan said it, he knew it was the truth.

James knitted his fingers on the table, looking at Logan. Was that pain, Logan saw? But it vanished the moment the doctor began talking. "Logan, listen. I don't know what your reservations about love are, and you're completely within reason to disagree with me, but hear me out. The Greeks claim that there are three types of love. Eros, or romantic love. The kind you feel towards your life partner. Philia, or friendship. That love you feel towards someone you is… was… your friend, or trusted companions. And then there's Agape which is that spiritual love towards mankind. Are you sure that what Kendall means to you is guaranteed eros, or is it something else?"

"Maybe... I don't know. What if... What if the moment I stop hoping is the moment he realises that he could feel the same?"

"But he's engaged Logan. And even so, if he ever feels that way, then it's his loss. You can't hold on to this. You're right. People go MAD from stuff like this. and you're too cute for that to happen to..."

"Wait, what?"

"Sometimes you have to move on. You have to see the world not as that eighteen year old who had his heart broken. You're older, smarter… You have your entire life ahead of you. I think, in my professional opinion, that you have to let go. Kendall can still be your friend, but you need time to heal. Those seven years you spent pining…" James shook his head, "I explains a lot of why you were that way in Medical School… You need to. If not for yourself, do it for Kendall."

Logan looked at James. Really looked at James. His eyes were pleading, as though he needed Logan to take this step. He nodded. "And if not for Kendall," he whispered, "Maybe for you."

...

James had taken the liberty of pre-ordering dinner. It was simple Thai food, not too spicy (Logan couldn't so much as put the stuff on his tongue, and far less for James). They talked about their university days. The projects, the first Psychology assignment when they worked together for the first time… In between the idle conversation, the laughs, James called the waiter and asked for a bottle of red wine.

Logan neglected asking whether it was alcoholic or not and the moment the cool, crimson liquid touched his lips, he scrunched his nose. "God, this is bitter."

"But it's good for your heart," James replied, a small smile evident.

It took a moment, but Logan eventually caught it, and NOT the medical significance. "You're impossible James."

"Really, it is… It's actually one of the few things I drink."

Logan tipped the glass higher, taking the entire thing in one shot. "Okay, that wasn't so bad."

"Seconds?" James proposed.

"Why not?"

…

At eleven o' clock, James stood, extending his hand for the other. "Chivalry is not dead," Logan slurred, taking it.

James managed to support the brunet outside, feeling much like teenagers again. Why was this so...? He couldn't find a word.

"You think you could manage driving home?" the taller asked.

"I came by bus," Logan giggled, "I didn't think I reach all the way here."

"Would you like me to drop you home then?"

"That'd be... sweet."

"They walked down the street in silence, to find James's car. A slight drizzle descended upon the pair. "Of all the days for me to leave my umbrella…" James groaned, gripping Logan's upper arm, and attempting to hurry him along.

"Stay," Logan whispered, "Please."

"I'm not going anywhere. But I have to get you home. You don't have to go to work tomorrow?"

"Yes," Logan said, "But I'll wake up early. I always do."

"I can't get my hair wet," James complained, as the droplets became larger. "Come."

He led Logan under the awning of an ice-cream shop. There was no streetlight nearby. Behind them, the Closed sign glowed a prominent red. As though rubbing it in. "I forgot about dessert," James apologized, "I'm sorry it didn't occur to me."

"It's alright. There are always other times, right?"

"Other times?" James repeated, as though the thought had not occurred to him, "Would you like to do this again, Logan?"

And the rain came down. The droplets hit the awning, casting a mist onto the pair of doctors below.

Logan looked over the road as two people climbed into their vehicle. Two people- a man and his wife… girlfriend… It didn't matter. But it occurred to him that Kendall and Jo were supposed to be there that night. And he hadn't seen them.

The engine turned over. And Logan's reverie broke when he found James' running his index finger along his chin.

He looked up into his eyes, wondering, and took an unnecessary breath. Is this what it feels to be in love, or is this being starstruck? James was perfection personified when it came to good looks. He was a smooth talker, with ample confidence that neither made him seem like a show-off nor introvert.

"Can you tell?" the taller asked, "Can you feel what I feel right now?"

Did he? Could Logan really say that? "You're not Kendall," Logan sighed, and hoped he didn't take it the wrong way, "I don't think I'm ready for anything."

James pulled him closer, and Logan his body heat radiating. "James," he murmured, "I…"

"Shhh," he whispered, "I'm here for you Logan. I will keep you safe. I will keep you happy. I will love you, I promise. But you have to let me in."

"I don't know if I'm still drunk, because my head is spinning… But how can you love me? When you don't know me?"

"I'd seen you in University. I'd seen you struggling to find your way back to your feet, and I wanted to help you. But you weren't interested. You weren't interested in anyone."

"Please James. I don't want to hear…"

"Logan, I'd loved you. I'd come here thinking one day, I'd hear from you. You probably wouldn't remember me, but that'd be alright. We could start over. I'm not saying you have to tell me now, but think about it?"

"I'd… I'd try," Logan whispered, and he felt the tears sting his eyes. He made an involuntary gasp as they slid down. James stared at him, and sighed. "You shouldn't be crying," he whispered.

Logan felt his cheeks grow red as the distance between them narrowed. James' arm was around his back, his breath was on his nose- warm in the cool air, Logan shivered in nervous delight when he whispered, "This is because I love you."

When their lips connected, Logan didn't think of anything else besides the boy in front of him. Yes, he cared about Kendall, and perhaps he always would… but James. James would make him happy, and maybe even help him get back the normalcy he had with the blond before things became complicated.

…

MEANWHILE…

"Oh Kendall, tonight was wonderful," Jo said, as they climbed into the vehicle.

"And we have Logan to thank for that," Kendall said, "The food is far better than any place I'd taken you."

"That's nice to know."

There was a moment when they settled into the car when Jo saw two people walking in her peripheral vision.

Kendall turned over the engine.

"Darling," she asked, her tone layered with innocence, "Is that Logan?"

Kendall found himself turning towards her line of vision.

It was Logan. Logan with someone else. A taller someone else. It began to rain and they both sought shelter under the awning for an ice-cream shop.

Kendall saw them talking, whispering in hushed tones as though there were people around to listen in.

He saw the taller boy kiss his best friend, and the latter did nothing to push him away.

Kendall unclenched his hands from on the steering wheel.

He knew something was wrong when Logan left so many years ago, he knew something had changed in him when they met some days ago, and now? Now he was positive that his gut feeling wasn't all that far off.

Next chapter will be up soon :)

xoxo Chelzi & Wynter