Title: Only Good for Sex

Chapter: 4 - Leave

Summary: Lovino should have slapped Antonio's face for saying that.

Warnings: Spamano (AntonioxLovino), Implied GerIta (LudwigxFeliciano), Human Names Used, Foul Language, Drug Use, Attempted Suicide, Darkish Themes, Implied and Eventual Lemon.

Author's Note: I got an interesting review on the last chapter by MiraMizu15. She (well, I'm assuming you're a she. Sorry if I'm wrong) mentioned that Antonio would've crashed down the door because of what happened. Well, she's right. He would've. But he didn't know what happened. For all Antonio knew, Lovino could've just slammed his fist against something and continued to silently cry. That and it was sort of just written that way. I tried rewriting it in a way similar to what she suggested would be better, but what I was trying to convey didn't seem to flow very well; I couldn't fit a better place to stick in Feliciano and Ludwig into the story either (as a couple, anyway. Feliciano pops up in this chapter too.) I hope you all sort of get what I mean. That being said, if anyone has any confusions on what's going on, feel free to PM me and I'll be happy to clarify what you don't understand. And to those wondering, there should hopefully be some smut in the next chapter~

Oh, and this chapter takes place after Antonio (manically) called up an ambulance and had Lovino taken to the hospital; I thought it was just a bit pointless to have to write up the process, as I imagine the whole trip to the hospital just being Antonio and Feliciano bawling their eyes out and Ludwig calming them both down. So yeah…

This chapter is going to be a fairly long, and most likely boring, one… But you get to find out what Lovino was thinking before he did what he did!

Well, erm… Enjoy~

Why did he do that? Antonio's thoughts made his head pulsate painfully. It didn't help with the dull light that forced his eyes to work overtime to focus on anything and everything. Regardless, being in Lovino's presence was enough to help him ignore the pain. Glancing back over to the unconscious Italian, he grimaced. His usual soft golden features looked pasty and pale. His breath was heavy and his body was rigid. Just looking at the current physical condition of Lovino was enough to bring the Spaniard to tears; he didn't think he would be able to handle what condition Lovino's mind was presently in. As much as Antonio wanted to put on a brave face and tell himself everything was okay, he knew he wouldn't be able to. Nothing was alright. In fact, it was the complete opposite.

Antonio began to talk, knowing Lovino wouldn't be able to hear him. "This is my entire fault, isn't it? I should've been more careful with what I was saying."

There was no answer, but the Spaniard didn't really care. He could almost imagine a miffed Italian yelling at him for being stupid. Antonio smiled slightly at this thought.

"Te amo, Lovino. You know that, right?" The older male asked in a quiet voice, grasping the younger's hand in his own. After placing a quick kiss to his knuckles, Antonio broke into a fit of hysteric sobs. He gripped tighter at the limp hand and pressed his forehead to the edge of the hospital bed, letting his tears fall freely onto the sheets. He didn't even notice Lovino begin to stir and slowly regain his consciousness. The Italian let out a small grunt, inaudible over Antonio's crying.

"A-andate via… D-dannazione…" Lovino's hoarse voice grabbed Antonio's attention, though he thought it was merely his mind playing tricks on him. Besides scrunching his nose slightly and moving his lips to speak, the Italian hadn't looked any different. Sighing, the Spaniard looked down to the sheets, at the spot that had been dampened by his own tears. He hadn't heard the loud knock on the hospital ward's door; a soft voice asking to come in snapped him out of his daydream-like state.

"Antonio? Ve, it's Feliciano… Can I come in?" The younger Italian's usual cheery voice had an upset, and almost guilty, tone to it.

Without allowing the older male to respond, Lovino's brother stepped soundlessly into the room. Once Feliciano had shut the door behind him, he immediately trod to Antonio's side, staring solemnly at Lovino's face, almost scrutinising his features.

"Ve… He's not dead, è lui?" He asked the Spaniard, not looking up.

"No, he's fine… I think. Those pills must've affected him badly…" Antonio took in a shaky breath before continuing, "The doctor said he should start to gain consciousness in a short while."

At this, Feliciano nodded and let out a sad "Ve…" before narrowing his eyes. He leaned forward slightly, getting a better look at Lovino. The older Italian's lips twitched into a small frown, and he emitted a half-hearted groan. His fingers jerked in the Spaniard's grip. Antonio noticed this. Before he had the chance to express his glee at the Italian's newfound consciousness, Lovino's hand was yanked from his hold and an irate glare was shot at him.

"C-cazzo! What the hell are you doing?" Lovino's scowl deepened as he was answered with a large grin and tear-stained cheeks.

"Lovi! Dios mio! I'm so sorry!" cried out the Spaniard through choked sobs. He embraced the older Italian in a tight hug and continued voicing his apologies. Lovino groaned, but didn't make the effort to try and pry himself out of Antonio's grip; he was too tired. As the boy was about to say something that may or may not have had any importance, a thick Spanish accent interrupted him.

"Do you remember who I am? Oh, por favor, don't tell me you have amnesia! Lo~vi!" Antonio whined childishly. As the Spaniard had finished talking, he hugged Lovino tighter then received a rather nasty slap to the face.

"Idiota! I don't have amnesia or anything like that!" Lovino snarled, "Because if I did, I wouldn't remember who you are!"

Antonio rubbed his cheek in pain. "Then who am I, Lovi? And who's that?" As he posed his second question, the Spaniard pointed to Feliciano, whom was staring at his own brother in slight shock and relief.

"Don't be stupid, that's… Erm…" The Italian brought a finger to his chin, "My brother. Yeah, that's it… Fe-Feliciano, right?"

The younger Italian nodded his head in response, a smile fixed to his face. Antonio, however, wore a sad frown, upset that Lovino had answered his question about Feliciano first. He did just wake up from being unconscious for about four hours… I can't really blame him… He thought as his frown soon broke into a small smile.

"E tu? You're, hmm… Anthony? No, not Spanish enough… Andrés? Oh, for the love of god, so che questo! It's something beginning with 'An', I know it… Uh, Antonio…?" Lovino pondered aloud, holding his head in mild confusion, getting a grin of approval and a tighter hug – if that was possible at this point of time.

Why did it take so long to remember his name? I remembered my brother's quicker… The older Italian moved his hands from his head and noticed he wasn't in the constricting embrace anymore. As quickly as his hands were dropped to his sides, they were grabbed into a hold by both Antonio and Feliciano. Lovino couldn't help but roll his eyes slightly before returning to his thoughts. And why did I have to think so hard about it?

A groan of pain escaped his lips, and he leant back against about three flimsy - what seemed to be - pillows. This action earned concerned looks from his brother and the Spaniard. Lovino ignored them, squeezing his eyes shut. He tried to pull his hands away from the two, but to no avail. After a moment or two, the trio heard the door swinging on its hinges and saw a young man clad in a long white coat that hung to his ankles.

"Ah, Doctor… Erm, Williams! Yeah, that's right… I thought you were coming in later," Lovino said in his shock; he had expected the doctor to check-up on him in an hour's time.

"Bonjour, Mr Vargas. Oui, I was meant to come in later, but I had heard that you had another visitor, so I felt like I should introduce myself to whom it was," Dr Williams greeted the trio with a warm smile and soft voice.

Why would he need to introduce himself? Surely I won't be in here too long… Lovino pondered as the young doctor gave both Antonio and Feliciano a handshake. The elder Italian started to panic a bit. What if I have to stay in here for a long time? Or maybe I'll have stay here forever? Okay, Lovino… You're getting a bit over-the-top now.

Lovino shook his head, while Dr Williams continued to chat almost casually with the other two. "You guys can just call me Matthew, eh. W-well, if you'd like, of course!" He received a more-than-happy "Sí!" from the Spaniard and an ecstatic nod from the younger Italian. Of course, Antonio and Feliciano not concerned themselves about Matthew's highly unexpected introduction had unnerved Lovino much further. Were they really alright with him being stuck in this hospital? I fucking hope not. The older Italian's inner voice grumbled.

"Would I be able to talk to Mr Vargas alone for a couple of minutes?" asked the ever so hushed-voiced Matthew, gesturing towards the door. Feliciano beamed and trod out of the ward, sitting himself comfortably in one of the seats in the waiting room. Antonio, however, had more trouble leaving Lovino by himself, even though the doctor would be there. Despite this, he managed to force himself out of the room, finding a seat next to Feliciano. When the two had left and the door was shut, Dr Williams brought a hand to his mouth to clear his throat.

"Care to tell me what happened that made you have to come here, Lovino?" Matthew questioned in a concerned tone. He quite vividly remembered the last time the Italian was rushed to this very hospital. And, if his memory served him right, he had been in a similar condition: unconscious, looking like he had been in some sort of distress beforehand and brought in by an extremely worried Spanish man. He knew that this time it wasn't for the same reason, though; Lovino never forgot to take the medication prescribed to him.

There was silence, and Lovino glanced away in an embarrassed manner. "It's… It's a bit of a long story as to what happened before getting here. I can tell you exactly why I'm in my current condition, but I want you to please tell me exactly what's wrong with me at the moment after I tell you."

That was odd. Lovino never says please, or is never really polite. Something really bad must've happened. Matthew thought, quickly interrupting his thinking process to speak again. "Actually, I don't really mind hearing the whole story, if you would kindly tell me."

"W-well," the Italian male hesitated, mentally chastising himself for stuttering, "After I had woken up and was eating breakfast – but I suppose you could call it lunch, considering the time, Antonio asked me if I could make him something as well. I, obviously, rejected. Then he made his way over to the fridge and started laughing randomly. I was a bit confused, but I didn't say anything…"

Lovino took a shaky breath before continuing. "He asked me 'You know what?', and I kept silent, because I didn't know what he was getting at. He was going on about how I used to always think that I was good-for-nothing, which I still sort of do. Then he said something along the lines of knowing what I'm perfect for, no matter how much of a screw-up I am... H-he said I w-was…" The Italian couldn't say anymore before he had begun crying, his voice cracking much like a young boy's voice during puberty.

Matthew encouraged the other to keep explaining what had happened, faintly smiling, "What did Antonio say to you, Lovino?"

"H-he told me I was… O-only good for sex…"

Dr Williams couldn't think of anything to say, but he surely wanted to. "That's terrible! I feel very sorry for you… No wonder you're in such a condition." is what he was going to say, but Lovino had begun speaking again. Tears rolled down the Italian's cheeks and he didn't even notice, he just carried on with his explanation.

"A-as you could imagine, I was pretty fucking pissed off and upset. If he were to tell me that, I would've thought he would find a better time to tell me. Anyway… I stormed off to our bedroom, but I knew An… Anthony? Y-yeah, him… I knew he would look for me there. So, I locked myself in the bathroom and then remembered that I had left my medication in there. I was just going to quickly sneak back out and put it away before locking myself up again, but I heard him coming towards the bathroom. He obviously noticed that I was in the bathroom and knocked on the door. I didn't want him to see or talk to me, as I was crying and still angry. My mind was hazy from about that point, but I do remember asking him why he'd chosen to be with me, if I was only good for… You know what. Then An… Merda, what's his name? Ah, Andrés… That's right… He started saying all this stuff that I don't have any memory to what it was. I remember popping open the lid for the pills and deciding whether I was or wasn't going to take a mouthful of them… The last thing I really remember before waking up in here was him saying… T-te amo…"

By this point, Lovino was immediately pulled into Matthew's arms, where he freely cried his broken heart out. The pained sobs made the doctor frown sadly, so he began rubbing the Italian's back soothingly. "M-mon dieu… That's… I don't even know how to put it…" He cooed, trying to not correct the other that Antonio's name was neither Andrés nor Anthony.

The young male let Lovino continue to weep against his shoulder, the cries getting softer as he eventually fell asleep. Matthew managed to get the Italian off of him and lay him down, using some tissues to wipe his flushed and tear-stained cheeks. Lovino almost looked peacefully, if it weren't for the wounded expression still etched in his features. Dr Williams was about to gather his things and leave to inform Antonio and Feliciano, but he had remembered that he was meant to explain to the other what was his current condition. Maybe I'll wait until he wakes up… He needs to rest… Matthew thought, shuffling a seat closer to the hospital bed and reviewing his notes, titled 'Vargas, Lovino Romano: Possible Depression'.

Translations

Te amo – I love you (Spanish)

Andate via – Go away (Italian)

Dannazione – Damnit (Italian)

È lui? – Is he? (Italian)

Cazzo – Fuck (Italian)

Dios mio – My god (Spanish)

Por favor – Please (Spanish)

Idiota – Idiot (Italian)

E tu? – And you? (Italian)

So che questo – I know this (Italian)

Bonjour – Hello (French)

Oui – Yes (French)

Sí – Yes (Spanish)

Merda - Shit (Italian)

Mon dieu – My god (French)

Wow, you guys actually managed to read to the end of this chapter. Or you skipped. Or something like that. But yeah, I'm still proud of you for putting up with this painfully boring chapter.

Yes, I did make Matthew the doctor. Why? Because I find him the only character that can fit the doctor role and have Lovino actually be nice to him. I hope you guys don't mind it being him, though. Meh, I really don't care if you care. But anyway…

And yes, Lovino is (possibly) depressed, and I have my reasons to say why. For starters, he pretty much tried to commit suicide by overdosing a prescription drug. On top of that, the reason that I gave him insomnia was because I can imagine him being very insecure about himself, resulting in him not sleeping because he thinks that something might happen. I'm not sure what, but I think you get the idea… Also, Lovino's brain has sort of slowed down because of the tablets. This is because the medication forces the user's brain to slow down enough to make them sleep. But since Lovino had taken so many pills at once, his brain started to function slower. That's also why he kept getting Antonio's name wrong. I hope that gives you guys enough information about what's wrong with our feisty little Italian for now.

Speaking of the next chapter… Do you guys have any ideas on what you'd like to happen next? Sure, I promised smut… But you might have some thoughts on what could happen. Though, I'm pretty sure I won't be writing it up, as I need to clarify on the others' reactions and that sort of thing as well.

A special thanks to Lovi's Tomato Lover for fixing up a little mistake I made. Her (god, I hope you're a girl... Sorry if I'm wrong...) help made it easier for me to think of ideas for the next few chapters. Because, honestly, I was running out of plans, and this story would've either been discontinued, or had some sort of half-assed ending. So, thanks again~

As always, reviews are appreciated and flames will be used to flame-grill some chicken.