Here is the next chapter. More Manly Men have joined the Club!
Garen took a deep breath before knocking on the door. The last time he had tried to visit Prince Jarvan, he was rudely swept away by Xin Zhao. This time the door was opened by the prince himself. "Garen," Jarvan greeted. "How can I help today?"
"My prince," Garen greeted back as he gave a quick bow to his prince. He quickly motioned for Pantheon and Jayce to do the same, which they did after a short moment's pause. "Listen, there is some important business I need to discuss with you. Can we come in?"
"Of course." The trio followed Jarvan into his room. Jarvan motioned for the men to take a seat as he sat down on his throne. "Now, I must say I'm a little surprised to see Pantheon and Jayce here. Any reason they are here as well?"
"We have formed a club for manly champions such as myself," Garen responded. "There are too many men here who just don't have the right stuff. As such, we are here to spread the manliness around the League."
"I see." Jarvan stroked his chin. "Why wasn't I the first man you invited to your club?" Jarvan got up from his throne and stared down Garen. "Are you forgetting who pays you your salary Garen? I can easily cut your pay by half for this act of treason!" The prince walked closer to Garen. "Not only that, you recruited Jayce, but not me? Jayce is a cream puff compared to me! If you seriously invited Jayce before me, I question the validity of your club."
"To answer your questions, Jayce is Pantheon's protege," Garen replied. "Pantheon is teaching Jayce how to become a manly man. If we can turn someone like Jayce into a man, imagine how large our club would grow!"
"Hmmmmm..." Jarvan processed what Garen had said. "Very true. However, I am still disappointed that I wasn't the first man you approached for the club. I am your prince! What does Pantheon have that I don't?"
"Sexy man legs!" Garen shouted. Jarvan stared at Pantheon's legs and conceded his point. "But, you were the first one I tried to ask. It is just that you were on Summoner's Rift at the time. I tried to tell Xin Zhao about my club, but he just knocked me out of your room and then locked the door. I had no way of telling you."
"Did Xin Zhao really do that?" Garen nodded. Jarvan bellowed out, "Xin Zhao, get your butt over here!" The Seneschal of Demacia quickly entered Jarvan's room. "Xin Zhao, I just got the most disturbing news," Jarvan began. "Garen has informed me that he was attempting to create a Manly Man Club. He told me that he came to my room yesterday morning in order to invite me to the club. However, I never got the invite. You were in my room and are suppose to take all messages for me. Care to explain why I didn't know about my invitation until just now?"
Xin Zhao bowed down. "My prince, I had no idea that Garen wanted to invite you to his Manly Man Club. I was under the assumption that he was spouting his usual Demacian nonsense. Remember when the Institute was holding a pool party and Garen wanted all of us to wear Demacian colored speedos? Or the time we wanted to have a Snowdown Party, but Garen insisted that we could only drink Demacian beer? Or the time Garen wanted to host a talent show to see who was best suited for his sister? Or the time Garen wanted us to all wake up at 3 in the morning to practice singing the Demacian anthem? Besides, I don't see the appeal in a Manly Man Club. I think it would be a ridiculous waste of time."
Jarvan slapped Xin Zhao across the face. "Perhaps for a man such as yourself, a Manly Man Club would be a waste of time. However, for someone who is the pinnacle of manliness like myself, this is a golden opportunity. Xin Zhao, I want you to go back to your room and reflect on your actions. I'll deal out your punishment spankings at a later time." Jarvan waited for Xin Zhao to leave his room. "Now that he is out of the way. Let's talk business. Jarvan went back to his throne. "There has indeed been a disturbing amount of unmanliness in the Institute. Just yesterday I was matched up in the top lane against Graves. I was getting tired of his ranged harass and decided to go in and fight like a man. I trapped him within my cataclysm, intent on fighting him face to face with no distractions. Unfortunately, I did not take into account his dash. He dashed out my circle, leaving me all alone looking like an idiot. I thought Graves with his beard would be man enough to fight me, but ever since the Institute banned his cigar, his manliness must've gone with it."
Garen nodded. "I can sympathize. Just the other day I had to fight Teemo. Utterly disgraceful. He'd never fight me. It got worse though. Right after the match, I got back and found that pretty boy Ezreal trying to ask out my sister." Jarvan gasped. "Don't worry, Lux was smart enough to reject that loser. I did learn that she did have a secret crush though. I'm scared to think who it may be though."
Pantheon laughed. "For the last time, her crush is totally on me. Just look at my legs." Pantheon began to strut his legs. "This is what happens when you never miss leg day."
"Quite. However, love can be fickle. We can't be sure unless Lux tells us herself." Jarvan sighed. "The Crownguard family is quite vital to Demacia. If Garen and his father were to perish, the head of the Crownguard family would fall to whomever married Lux. The last thing I want to see is someone like Draven coming into my throne room and yelling his name like he just had an orgasm."
Garen paled. "My prince, surely my sister wouldn't be foolish enough to fall for someone like Draven? No never! I will find out who it is and if I do not approve of him, I will destroy him for Demacia. Lux is having a slumber party tonight and she may spill the beans during the party. Unfortunately, we have no way of knowing. Heimerdinger won't bug her room and Jayce isn't able to."
"To be fair, I was the one who came up with the idea," Jayce defended himself. "Besides, the offer to dress up as Jaycina is still on the table."
"For the last time, a member of my Manly Man Club is not dressing up as a woman," Garen grunted through gritted teeth. He turned to Jarvan. "Do you have any ideas?
"Of course. I'm not the prince of Demacia for a reason. Quinn!" Jarvan cried out. Quinn came flying into the room on Valor. "Quinn, are you going to Lux's slumber party tonight?"
"Yes," Quinn hesitantly revealed. "How did you know about it?" She then noticed Garen in the room. "Of course, Garen must've told you. Looks like you really are a huge weenie."
"Quinn, I have a job for you," Jarvan announced. "I want you to go to Lux's slumber party tonight and find out who her secret crush is. I'm aware that you girls tend to play truth or dare. Ask Lux about her crush if you have a chance. Also, make sure no harm comes to Lux. This is for Demacia!"
"Are you serious?" Quinn asked. "I thought Garen was kidding around the other day about having me follow Lux around for Demacia. I can't possibly do this! I just wanted to go and have some fun. Maybe get a little drunk."
"Quinn, you do this for me or else I won't give you the money you need to buy Valor's favorite fruity pebbles." Valor began to squawk in anger. "That's right Valor, your partner better accept my request.
Valor gazed at Quinn. "Ok, I'll do it," Quinn gave in. She flew away with Valor.
"That is how it's done boys," Jarvan boasted. "Now that we have figured out that little problem. What is the next step for our club? We need to find more members for the Manly Man Club. We barely have enough people to host an Amumu surprise party."
"Yes!" Garen concurred. "The more the merrier. I was going to invite Braum into the Manly Man Club. Pantheon and I still owe him for bringing us to Soraka after Leona nearly killed us. Since we have Lux's situation under control, we can pay a visit to Braum."
"Very good, give my regards to Braum," Pantheon turned to leave.
"You aren't coming with us?" Garen asked.
"We have spent too much time here, I need to go back to the gym. I can't skip out on my legs." Pantheon prepared his manjump. "Jayce, you are coming with me as well." Pantheon leapt to the gym. Jayce groaned, but set up an acceleration gate as he quickly went to follow Pantheon.
"I guess we should take advantage of the gate while it still stands." Garen and Jarvan charged through the acceleration gate, feeling a sudden rush of speed as they set off to look for Braum.
"Braum is on the job." The Heart of the Freljord had been simple enough to locate. If he wasn't in the Poro Room playing with the poros, then he could only be at Gragas' Bar. Braum chugged down another mug of beer. "I'd love to be part of the Manly Man Club."
Garen and Jarvan gave each other a fist bump. They now had five members in the club, which meant that they could now all group up and form a team for Summoner's Rift. As both fighters took a drink, Jarvan asked Braum the question that had been on his mind for the longest time. "How do you grow out such a manly mustache?" Jarvan blurted out. As Braum looked at him questioningly, Jarvan continued on. "Well, I've been trying to grow out a mustache for the longest time, but I always end up with barely a fuzz. Shyvana has been hinting that she wants to see me with some facial hair, but I just can't seem to grow any out. Can you please tell me your secret? I just really want to impress Shyvana."
"There is no secret," Braum said. "I've had a mustache since I was but a little boy. Maybe it was all the milk I drank when I was young?" Braum gave Jarvan a pat on the shoulder. If you truly are a manly man, you won't need to worry. A mustache alone doesn't make a man." Braum's speech was interrupted as Gragas came walking by their table. "Ah Gragas, another round! I've been invited to the Manly Man Club!"
Gragas poured each champion another drink straight from his barrel, except for Garen, who insisted on having another Demacian beer. As Gragas came back with Garen's beer, he asked, "Manly Man Club? Can I join as well?"
"No," Garen quickly replied. "Your lack of hygiene is incredibly off-putting. You are really fat, smell awful and no amount of facial hair will get you into my club!"
"Who are you calling fat? I'm big boned!" Gragas surged forward and body slammed Garen, knocking him down. "Take that!"
As Garen got back up, he was livid. He wasn't going to sit there and take the hit. He was going to retaliate! He charged back towards Gragas and leapt on top of the man. The two champions began to wrestle with each other. Jarvan and Braum jumped in to try and stop the fight. As the two tried to get Garen off of Gragas, Garen put his hands around Gragas' neck and began to choke him. "Don't you ever smack me with your tummy ever again!" Garen roared as he started to apply pressure.
At last Jarvan and Braum got Garen off of Grgas. "Garen, don't kill the man!" Jarvan ordered. "I don't want another incident on your head. I'm the one who has to pay every time you do something like this. Not only that, Gragas is the one who provides most of the alcohol. If Gragas is gone, then we'd have to get our drinks from Singed. I don't want that. Singed is mad and probably puts poison in all of his drinks for testing. I don't want that!"
"I got it," Gragas rasped as he recovered from Garen's chokehold. "How about this, if I join the club, I give you twenty percent discount on all my drinks!"
"Don't think it'll be that easy, you can't bribe..." Garen began to say, but was swiftly interrupted by Jarvan. "You are in," Jarvan declared. Garen looked at Jarvan. "What are you doing?" he whispered. "We can't be swayed so easily. Besides, Demacian beer is already so cheap. Twenty percent off isn't really that much."
"Demacian beer? That is the cheap crap. Even Noxian alcohol tastes better." As Garen stood speechless, Jarvan wasn't finished. "What about the good stuff? What about the ultimate ale? If we can get twenty percent off, that would be totally worth it! Gragas you are in."
"Since when did I appoint you leader of the Manly Man Club?" Garen shot back. "I'm the leader. My vote counts more. Besides, you are the prince of Demacia. What happens if the citizens find out you sold out your values for twenty percent off beer? You'd be a laughing stock!"
"First of all, my people would be proud to see that their prince has gotten discount alcohol. Secondly, Braum would also agree to discount beer as well wouldn't he?" Braum nodded in the background. "See, you are outvoted two to one."
"Wait, there is still Pantheon and Jayce. They'll be on my side. I'll be right back." Garen bolted out of the bar and headed towards the gym. Ten minutes later, he came back with Pantheon and Jayce. "Gragas wants to join our club in exchange for twenty percent off of all of his drinks? What do you think?" Garen asked.
"Sounds good!" Pantheon expressed. Jayce nodded in agreement. "I could really use a drink," he continued. "Gragas, could I get a Mt. Targon Brewski?" Gragas gave Pantheon his drink.
"I can't believe you guys!" Garen was outraged. "You are really all selling out for cheaper drinks? Demacian beer which happens to be not only the best beer, but the least expensive one as well is good enough as it. We don't need to sell out and invite this fatty to our club."
"Demacian beer is asswater," Pantheon exclaimed. Everyone nodded. "There is a reason why it is so cheap. No one wants to drink that junk."
"Oh yea? Why is it the only drink that Gragas has ever run out of?" Garen inquired.
"Funny story about that, it was all Kog'maw," Gragas revealed. "The poor creature always wanders into my bar looking for something to eat. I don't want to be rude and I don't want him to eat me, so I had to give him something to drink. Demacian beer is cheap and the least popular drink I sell, so I let Kog'maw drink it all. I then charge it all to Malzahar. I could've been a huge dick and gave Kog'maw the most expensive stuff to really screw over Malzahar, but I don't want to waste the good stuff on something who can't appreciate the taste. Besides, Malzahar is pretty mean and I don't want to anger him."
"Garen, you have been outvoted 4 to 1," Jarvan brought up. "I think you should let Gragas join us. Everyone else wants him here. Don't be a big weenie."
Garen took a deep breath. "Alright, I accept. Gragas welcome to the Manly Man Club," he extended his hand for the drunk to shake. "Let's all have a celebratory drink. We'll have our first official meeting tomorrow morning in Jarvan's room." Gragas filled everyone's mug with his ultimate ale. "To the Manly Man Club!" everyone shouted as they clashed their mugs together.