CHAPTER FOUR: SHIRE OF THE DAMNED
"So, this is it?" Saito asked, looking at his newly acquired property with disbelief.
"Err… I think so," came Malicorne's equally disillusioned reply as he stared at the castle.
"Looks kind of old, doesn't? I mean, aren't castles here usually… brighter?"
"They are… usually…"
The two stood staring like idiots at the castle, Château d'Hiraga, feeling somewhat tricked. Not that it was bad in any sense, and the size was to be expected of such a small domain, but it simply looked too… old. Built out of large bricks of stone, the once magnificent castle looked more like a gloomy haunted house from some old, run-down theme park. The once solid walls were almost completely destroyed, the red tiled roof sported big holes, all the towers stood in brilliant disrepair while the keep itself looked like it'd crumble to dust any minute. It looked so old in fact, that they wondered why the locals hadn't already stripped the building of its blocks to use as building material. That was, until they noticed that the surrounding town was equally deserted, everything being one, big ghost town.
"Ghastly a sight, isn't it?" They heard a male voice say from behind.
"Aye," both Malicorne and Saito replied in unison, before they actually noticed the third part and spun around, surprised over the man's sudden appearance. Before them stood a man appearing to be in his late thirties, sporting a neat anchor beard and an equally neat, short black haircut, wearing what looked like a cavalryman's uniform.
"Who are you?" Saito asked
"Charles Philippe le Bon de Valois, Comte d'Artois, at your service," he said, bowing, and was about to continue when he was abruptly cut of by Malicorne.
"Oh… where have I heard that before… aren't you perhaps, Count of Nowhere?" The comment elicited a series of chokes from surprised count.
"What kind of stupid name is that?" Saito deadpanned.
"What, haven't you heard?"
"Heard what?"
"About Count of Nowhere, he's pretty much the laughing stock of the whole Tristanian nobility."
"Why? What did he do?"
"I- I can explain that! I wa-" the distressed noble began, but was again cut off his chubbier counterpart.
"You won't believe how stupid it is! This guy, the former Duke of Artois, was fooled by his Germanian neighbour, the Baron of Richthofen, into holding a military parade in Richthofen's capital: Aach. He was a fool enough to fall for it, and marched with his entire military right into the middle of the city. The Baron had then evacuated his city and filled it with his own troops, who attacked the Count's unprepared soldiers and killed off nearly his entire military in a massive ambush. When Valois's troops scattered into the surrounding forests, they were rooted out and done away with by the Germanian Emperor's guards, who were passing by. The Emperor was enraged and threatened Tristan with war, putting the entire royal court in chaos. Queen Adèle was then forced to apologize to the Emperor for having irresponsibly let her vassal trespass into Germanian territory, a greatly humiliating act. Then the Duke, having lost his entire army, was forced to watch as all his lands were run down and occupied by the much weaker Baron. When he asked for the Queen's aid, she became so enraged the she shouted at him in front of the entire court, threw him out and demoted him from Duke to Count and also had him, a man of blue blood, work at the demesne of one of the royal manors. Unbelievable!"
Saito just stood wide eyed, staring back and forth between Malicorne and Charles, the latter's cheek being streaked with tears. Upon seeing the poor man and Saito's incredulous stare, the bulky mage let out a hearty, yet mighty laugh.
"My dignity…" the landless Count mumbled, staring at his hands as if witnessing said virtue escape between his fingers. There was a pause in which the two of them eyed the noble, one with splendid disbelief, the other with pity, on the verge of laughing. It was so silent though, that one could hear the cold wind whistle across the landscape, causing the Japanese Baron to chill.
"Chshshsh… cold…" he mumbled between his shaking teeth.
As if on cue, the Count regained his former composure, looking like nothing like happened at all, trying to radiate an aura of coolness and discipline.
"Maybe you would like to examine your property closer. Perhaps, from the inside?" he asked politely, still able to maintain a faint sense of dignity. Saito was amazed at how quickly he could recover when just seconds ago he'd looked like having gone beyond the point of salvation.
"Umm… yeah, sure," he answered.
"Great! This way then, if you may."
Nearly every room, chamber and corridor showed signs of decay: the wooden doors were all rotten and fell apart upon touch; the courtyard was overgrown with weed; the corridors lined with age-old filth; the toilets infested with insects, worms and other disgusting vermin; the bed chamber was soaked in water and hid bats in the darker corners while those parts of the building that were seemingly intact were soaked in water, moist and sported huge colonies of mould. Not even the basement was spared from the castle's cruel fate, having been flooded for what seemed like year, the water's surface by now covered in algae.
"So… what's the deal with this place?" Saito questioned the Count, who seemed to know everything about it.
"This small, insignificant region of the country is commonly known as Shire of the Damned and has throughout history, ever since the death of the founding dynasty, been used as a sort of disposal area for nobles who have fallen into disfavour with the Monarch, the clergy or the high nobility. Many nobles have been assigned to this little hole as a sort of punishment for any wrong they might have done to any of the parties I mentioned," Charles told, gesturing with his hands in slow, fluent motions while speaking in a sorrowful tone. "Every single one of these lords, counts, dukes and barons who were given this land in lease ended up having their lives completely ruined in one way or another. Most went bankrupt from being unable to pay the taxes that were laid upon them due to the infertile grounds and lack of minerals, others came here with ambition and worked tirelessly to bring some life into this land, but alas, their efforts were all in vain and they ended up going mad, locked in asylums for the rest of their lives. The wisest ones, people will tell you, committed suicide in order to escape the torture, whereas others gave up their title and were imprisoned or executed for treason, depending solely on how much mercy the clergy, nobility or monarch was willing to show. A few nobles even fled the country, either to Gallia or to Germania. These were the fortunate ones, for they married themselves into rich burgher families and established strong and wealthy noble dynasties. There was even one who endured the pain of this wretched place to the end, dying all alone in this very castle on an equally wretchedly cold and stormy night. He even wrote a book about it, which is credited for increasing piety and loyalty of the nobles to the higher-ups, as no one would from then on dare to annoy the people in power, out of fear of being assigned to this land," he finished, resting his hand on a wooden railing, looking out over the town below with a mournful gaze.
Saito himself was completely drained of colour, knowing now that he'd practically been sentenced to death.
"Legends also tell that his ghost walks the corridors on rainy nights, moaning and staring out across the land, crying over his wasted life, screaming out all of his angst with such force, that even the water spirit of Lake Lagdorian be not spared his suffering."
"But," Malicorne probed, "why would anyone assign Saito to this place? I mean, he was being lauded as a hero just yesterday!"
"I do not know, I can only guess that someone must have wanted him ill and convinced the Queen to hand him this land. For with all due respect to our blessed Queen, a truly wonderful woman indeed, she seems to lack the sceptical eyes needed to see through the lies of those around her. Many rulers before her have been convinced to put otherwise innocent aristocrats in charge of this hellhole. Naïveté is indeed a most dangerous thing for a Queen to possess."
"That just sounds terrible… did you hear that Saito? Looks like your days are numbered." Saito just laughed uneasily at the comment, all too preoccupied with mourning his past life in the face of his imminent doom.
"Well, it also depends on who taxes him. Is it merely the Queen or does it go all the way down to the Count?"
"Hmm… don't know, Saito, where's that deed you had?" Saito was shook out of his thoughts and produced a scroll from one of his pockets.
"Err… about that I've actually got no idea, I'm not so good with reading the language," he confessed as he produced a scroll from beneath his cloak.
"No worries, it's just what I expect. Nobody bothers with education nowadays anyway. As decadent as our nobility is, they only concern themselves with having fun," the dishonoured Count ranted as he unfurled the piece of parchment, after which he studied it. There was a pause as the two younger peers waited for the older to finish, which never happened as Charles stopped mumbling in the middle of it, leaving his mouth hanging open.
"Well, what does it say?" Saito asked, growing impatient.
"Holy Brimir… I can't believe it!"
"What?" Mal demanded.
"It's unbelievable! This land has been granted to you for free! There's no talk of any allodium or tax here! This domain has been designated a vrijheerlijkheid!"
"A what?" the two young adults asked, irritated by the Count's senseless ramble.
"A true barony! Usually the lord of this land would be put as a vassal under someone else, like the Queen or the Duke, even if it's a Baron like you, who according to Tristanian custom should be a free lord. Here however, it states that the property belongs solely to Baron Chiraga, as long as he is willing to commit his armed forces to the Queen in case of war. It's simply unbelievable! This place hasn't enjoyed such freedom since its foundation!"
"Well that's nice, but I have a question," Malicorne said with a hint of suspicion in his otherwise jolly voice.
"Of course."
"Why are you so happy?"
"Me? Haven't I already told you?"
"… No…" both Saito and Mal replied, eyeing the euphoric Count with suspicion.
"Ever since I was stripped of my ducal title I've been given the task to counsel the landholders of this domain, to give advice to them on how to best manage this land. In reality however, I was more of an observer with the task of reporting back to the royal courts of the shire's state and the lord's status. For them it was all merely a game to see how long the poor aristocrat would last. For many years now I have witnessed countless nobles fail in their efforts to make something worthy out of this godforsaken hellhole. Though I know this place is far from likeable, I have over time, despite its cursed nature, come to enjoy it in a… special way. And now, finally, I can bear witness to perhaps the greatest thing in the history of this shire! You can't possibly imagine how this feels! For the first time, I may see this place rise to a level above inhospitable! And I'll become known as the man behind the scenes, the advisor who made it all work," the Count finished, tears of joy watering his cheeks.
"Oh, well, umm… I'm glad you're happy about it," Saito said, unsure of what else to say.
"And that's not all, my friends! Moreover, the Queen has been generous enough to give you a starting capital of 600.000 New Gulden! 600.000! Can you believe it? That's more than half a million!" This information succeeded in catching the full attention of the aspiring Baron, whose eyes were on the verge of falling out of its sockets.
"No, Sir. No… I honestly can't believe it…" he said, his face radiating with the utmost excitement.
"But wait, something's not right here," Malicorne pointed out. "I mean just look at it, considering the place's history, this kind of generosity is just too good to be true. There's got to be some sort of catch to it."
"I don't know, but this sounds pretty good to me," Saito said, his eyes reflecting big green ¥ symbols.
"Whatever, I just think there's something amiss about all this. Charles, does it say anything more?" Mal pressed.
"Well… there IS a personal comment by the Queen at the bottom of this deed. It reads: 'I am putting my full faith in you and hope that you will be able to make something worthwhile out of that region, as I'm sick of it being used as a playground for the corrupt nobles around me. Bearing in mind your recent achievement, I am fully confident that you will succeed in bringing some dignity to that sadly forsaken place.
Henrietta I, Reine de Tristain.'" As he read the comment, his voice trailed off more and more for each sentence, finally becoming inaudible. There was a short pause as the weight of the meaning behind it sank in upon the unsuspecting Baron.
"I knew there would be a catch," Malicorne concluded with morose finality.
"But still, with all there is to it, this situation is nearly not as bad as the other nobles'," Charles pointed out as he was walking down a dim corridor, with Malicorne and Saito in tow.
"Hmm… maybe, but the Queen still has her expectations, which still makes him ill pressured to live up to them," Malicorne argued.
"Meh…" Saito sighed; tired at his two companions debating over something he considered being his concern alone. "Hey, Charles, this is the last room we haven't seen yet, eh?"
"That is correct."
"Great. Can we go home after this then?" At this, de Valois turned around, confused at the Baron's absurd question.
"What do you mean? This is your home now, isn't it? Or did you have anything else in mind?"
"Umm… well, I thought I could sleep in the a… oh yeah, that's right, I'm no longer in the academy," he mumbled to himself, the Count just shook his head.
"Anyway, with it being dinner time, I thought it would be appropriate to show you the dining hall," he said.
"Excellent! I was just thinking of asking when we'd eat!" the now excited bulbous younger mage exclaimed, pulling out a series of utensils from nowhere, holding them between his fingers.
"That is why I spared this room to the very last, just for the occasion," he said as he opened the big wooden door to the room.
The three of them stepped in and looked around, taking in the sight that was the Château d'Hiraga dining hall, though it rather resembled a very large prison cell: the stone walls were dark; wet and covered in algae, in the ceiling there was a big hole through which water dripped, creating a very irritating click that echoed throughout the chamber every few seconds; the floor also had large patches of algae, making it extremely slippery; the chairs and tables, which were made of wood, were rotten to the core and the entire room had a particularly nauseating stench to it.
"So this is my dining hall…" Saito said, suddenly feeling an urge to strangle somebody.
"I think I'm about to throw up," Malicorne complained, clutching his stomach. The Count just laughed smugly, not knowing what to say now. He was absolutely certain that he'd succeeded in crushing the newly appointed Baron's hope now. Even though he had nothing personal against the boy (in fact he even liked him), it was sort of a game of his to see how long it'd take for him before he could crush any hopes that the new proprietor might have.
The three were so occupied with their own thoughts that they didn't notice the maid who came into the room from the kitchen. She had come halfway to the long refectory table when she noticed the three people standing in front of the door to the main corridor: the first smiling to himself, having that proud look of somebody who's just accomplished something; the second rotund and bent over, arms covering his belly, looking like he'd puke any minute while the third looked completely incredulous, like he'd just fallen for some unlikely fraud of ridiculous proportions.
The third man in particular caught her interest, as he did seem awfully familiar. She began to get a faint clue as to who the person was, a hint she thought more convincing for every millisecond that passed.
"Saito?" she asked, hoping for the love of God that he wasn't someone else. He snapped back into reality, searching the source of the sound till he noticed the maid in the middle of the room. In that instant, his heart skipped a beat, his jaw dropped and his eyes bulged out: now he stood staring at her instead, looking even more stupefied than he did before.
"S- Siesta?" he asked back, not able to believe his eyes. While on his great one-man expedition to the Eastern Lands, he'd thought about her a great lot. Especially as he'd broken up with his old love, Louise, for what he saw as her cheating on him. For three years with only meagre contact with his old life, he'd thought about her, yearning to meet her again upon his return. That feeling had grown larger for every time and now, when he finally saw her after all those years, he just couldn't believe it. He nodded, affirming her question.
With the confirmation of her question, she unconsciously dropped the tray she was carrying and slowly stepped forward in his direction. Her pace increased and within mere seconds she was already sprinting, calling out his name.
To Saito, this reminded him of something that happened about six years ago.
Coming close enough, she opened her arms to embrace him, but slipped on a piece of algae and flew right into him, causing them both to fall with her landing on top of him. She locked her arms around his neck and completely latched onto him, unwilling to let go.
"It's really you! I can't believe it! You were away for so long, I never thought I'd see you again! Oh, Saito!" she said, tears of joy streaming from her eyes, while she hugged him even tighter, as if fearing that he might disappear again. What she didn't notice though, was that her grip was actually choking him.
"Ca-c-ca can't… breathe!" he managed, his eyes bulging out.
"Stop it! Who the hell do you think you are, jumping onto a noble like that?" Charles shouted at the excited woman, clearly unaware of their relation to each other, and outraged at such disrespectful behaviour from a commoner. Refraining from using magic so as not to harm the Baron, he went up to the couple and tried to pull Siesta away from Saito before the latter would die from asphyxiation.
"Ugh… oi, you guys… I'm not feeling too well," Malicorne moaned, looking utterly miserable. Not concerning himself with the others, he started to look for a window, as he knew that having to see a rerun of today's dinner was now inevitable. He looked around the chamber for a spot where he could dump his rests, finding a tall, stained glass window to the far left of him. Pulling out his wand, he made a rush for the opening, chanting a spell as he was hurrying towards it. Finishing the incantation, he snapped the wand at the glass with force, creating a mighty blow of wind that shattered the glass into thousands of pieces, spreading it out over the land below. He then dropped the little enchanted stick, crashed into the side of the now glassless window and promptly spewed out a ray of stinking orange fluid that came crashing down the exterior wall of the castle, watering the weed and shrubbery below that had begun overtaking the building.
For Charles, things weren't going nearly as smoothly. With Siesta holding Saito in an iron grip and the latter on the verge of suffocation, he was getting very distressed. For all his strength he couldn't manage to pull the insolent servant off of her master, he lot go and stood up, watching the couple on the floor with a much stressed look. He had to act fast, lest the Baron's life would come to a premature (if yet pleasant) end. Taking out his own wand and chanting a quick spell, he made a few small circles in the air with it, pointing at the air above the pair and created a small freak raincloud over them, which began to rain furiously the very second it materialized. Finally, feeling the cold rain pouring down on her, she yelped and let go of him, rolling to the side and finally letting the Japanese regain his breath. Charles dispelled the cloud, which dissipated and vanished into thin air as if never having existed in the first place.
Finally, with the spectacle over, the two people on the floor became aware of their chilly, soaked clothes, clutching themselves and shaking violently as they were freezing. The Valois Count sighed and shook his head, amazed and the chaos surrounding him. Having seen the other mage cast a wind spell just moments ago, he turned in his direction only to find him still violently vomiting out the window. When he stopped a minute or so later, he picked up his wand and came staggering back, still feeling ill.
"Malicorne, was it?" Charles asked.
"Yes, Malicorne d'Arnaud le Grande d'Albret," he replied, his voice ridden with the feeling of sickness.
"Great. I take it you are able to bring some comfort to these two?" Malicorne looked at the two with a curious look, wondering how they'd managed to get themselves soaked with no water around but the drops coming from the roof.
"Sure," he shrugged and lifted his wand, doing a small incantation and some fluent motions with the wooden stick before pointing in their direction. A warm breeze then blew over and around them, drying them up in an instant before disappearing. Finished, the corpulent magician then clutched his head, which was throbbing relentlessly. "This place is giving me a migraine, I need to get out of gere" he said, but nobody listened.
"So, now that the storm's calmed down," Charles began, "let med ask you who the hell you think you are to go grappling a noble like that, let alone your own lord? Have you no shame at all? Do you even have an idea what legal consequences that merits?" he said, scowling at the maid on the floor, whose attention he'd finally caught. "I think a punishment is in order, so that it may deter you from repeating such things in the future." He began waving his wand again, muttering an incantation, Siesta being utterly horrified.
"Hey, stop that!" Saito's voice roared at the Count, who promptly stopped chanting, opened his eyes and looked confused at the lower ranked peer.
"But Sir, she clearly showed signs of disobedience, it's only proper to punish those vassals who behave disorderly," he replied, not understanding what he'd done to anger the lord.
"I don't care about that, you are not to harm her in any way. If you from now on so much as lay a finger on her, I'll make sure that you'll regret it dearly!" he declared, his voice holding the sort of authority that seemed alien to him, all the three in the room looked at him with startled expressions on there faces: Malicorne and Siesta for seeing him having changed so much since their last time and Charles for seeing a lord being so protective of a mere servant, especially in the face of such misconduct. "Is that understood?" he asked with force, casting a near murderous look on the Count.
"Y- yes, Sir!"
"Fine then," he said curtly, now eyeing the Count with suspicion. "What the hell are you doing here anyway?" At this question, Charles tripped and fell, not wanting to believe that everything he'd been saying so far had been ignored by the lords, or that he was too dense to understand it. Meanwhile, Siesta got up from the floor and hurried away into the kitchen.
"Like I have said before, I am Charles Philippe le Bon de Valois, and throughout the years I've been in charge of monitoring the lords of this shire and keep track of their progress. Likewise, I am here to observe and counsel you on matters regarding the management of this little region," he repeated, holding back his irritation. "The Queen has personally asked for me to become your advisor, thus I couldn't turn her down. You can think of me as your steward of sorts."
"Ah… so that's how it is."
"Indeed," Charles muttered, clenching his teeth. For all that he'd heard Saito accomplish, he found him to be an extremely dense individual, a trait that irked him considerably.
Suddenly, they heard a loud cracking noise from behind and, turning around, they saw Siesta placing a large tray full of various foods on the short side of the far table. As she took the various bowls and baskets from it, and putting the on the table, it cracked even more. Finally it could take no more and its weak, rotten legs gave way to the weight and snapped, making the entire table fall to the ground with an ungodly noise. Siesta merely yelped and hopped back, then gave the former table an incredulous stare.
Is there nothing in this damned castle that works? she thought.
"I've got a suggestion," Malicorne spoke up and then paused, waiting to catch everybody's full attention, "how about we go OUTSIDE and eat and stop wasting time in this godforsaken castle, as obviously nothing is in working condition. Besides, this room is giving me a migraine," he restated.
"Ah, sounds good," Saito agreed, all nodding to Mal's proposal.
"I'll take care of it then, you just go out and wait. I'll have it ready in no time," Siesta said, a bit of irritation creeping into her voice. Not because any of the people annoyed her, but more because she'd been toying in this castle for about three hours straight now and had been met with innumerable collapsing chairs, counters and tables. Even for a maid like her, who normally has great patience considering her having to do the bidding of every stuck up aristocrat she happens to find herself in the vicinity of, it was beginning to run out.
The three men went out the door and towards the exit, Malicorne hurrying in particular, not wishing to spend a second more in that room. Siesta went into the kitchen to pack up everything again and bring it all outside, sighing at the extra work.
She stood in the kitchen, which was ridden with algae, bird faeces and spider webs, and the air was damp and bloated with the odour of rot. All the counters were in shambles, lying in scattered pieces of timber on the ground. Siesta stood in the back of the room, carrying an inhuman amount of luggage on her back, looking at one trunk in particular. It was the size of a coffin and weighed nearly a ton. She was considering if she should leave it in the castle and come back for it later, or if she should take it now to spare her the torment of having to come back and get it. Besides, who knew when the castle might crumble and bury it, considering the condition it was in? More so however, she wondered what it contained, as she had not opened it and her colleagues at the academy had apparently packed that one for her. She stood and thought of opening it for the moment.
"Nah, I'll come back for it tomorrow," she spoke to herself. "If this castle hasn't crumbled already, I don't see why it should now." She nodded and turned around to walk away and was just about to exit the room when she heard a series of thuds and muffled bangs from behind. Looking back, she noticed that the trunk was throbbing violently, hopping up and down seemingly by itself. Her eyes widened, as she thought for a moment that something dangerous might be lurking inside. However, she quickly waved that thought away, as her own colleagues wouldn't do anything of the like. Instead, she approached it with the intent of opening it, now thinking that there was some poor little creature trapped inside. As she a came closer the thuds and bangs became more frequent, possibly the creature within was panicking.
She kneeled down before it and hesitated for a few second, thens shaking her head, she unlocked the lid. It flew open and at once a rather large animal flew out of the trunk, screaming.
"So, Baron Hiraga," Charles began.
"Please, just call me Saito, I've never been much for formalities," he replied.
"Saito… I was wondering just now, exactly what is you re-" He only came that far before they heard the bloodcurling cry of something that sounded like a psychopath on a killing spree, followed by Siesta's scream.
"What the hell was that?" Malicorne slowly turned around, looking up at the castle, his face completely devoid of colour.