Hey, don't crucify Jake just yet. He didn't really leave Bella. She is just very unobservant when she is in her zombie stage.

Sephenie Meyer is an owner and creator of Twilight. I own my imagination.

Jacob POV

My sweet Bella went to Italy to kill herself. She wanted to kill herself over that filthy bloodsucker that ripped her heart and left her bleeding. I was shaking so much that I had to set Bella on the couch and leave. I didn't want her sharing Emily's fate have I phased anywhere near her.

I walked slowly outside so I would not startle her but then I ran to the forest like my body was on fire. I phased and run even faster to blow some steam of. I had to calm down before I could go back to Bella.

Hey man, where is the rush, did someone die? It was Seth.

Close enough, and I replayed my conversation with Bella.

Oh shit, Sam thought in very unlike Alpha manner.

I know, I thought exactly the same. Could you call Emily and ask her to go to Bella until I will be able to go back to her?

Sure, no problem, and after that I could feel Sam's consciousness disappearing as he phased back.

What are you gonna do now? It was Embry.

I don't have exact plan, but I do know that I'm going to love her so much that she will never have to think of those leeches ever again.

But she was a leech too; she's killed an innocent, acid dripping from every word Paul said. Clearly he did not like her, yet. No, I hate everyone who mixes with the leeches.

Say a word against her again and you will hop on three legs, pup, I used my Beta voice, and Paul whimpered. Listen everybody. I do not care that she was a leech once and that she killed once. Ordinary people do kill, I had to take a breath to steady myself.

Believe me, she will have to live with this immense guilt to the rest of her life and that will be punishment enough. She would cut out her arm if that would erase what she has done. I could hear silent agreement with me.

Ok, I'm going to run some more and then I will go back to Bella, after that the whole pack phased back giving me some privacy.

After about ah hour I could hear Sam again.

Jake, quickly, it's Bella, he sounded franticly. I reached her house in no time. I phased back and got dressed. There were many people in Charlie's house.

"What has happened?" I almost shouted at Bella's dad.

"I thought you would tell me?" Charlie raised an eyebrow at me.

"No, I had to leave for a while, something important has came up, and... erm I called Emily to come to watch over Bella," I was hoping that Charlie did not notice my stuttering.

"Oh, when Emily got here Bella was in a state. She was catatonic, just like before... Anyway, doctors think it's a post traumatic reaction to her kidnapping. She is calling your name all the time. I think you should go up to her," Charlie instructed me. I had a vague idea what or rather who caused it.

Emily was there with her. As I entered Bella's bedroom Em looked at me with understanding. Sam must have told her everything.

"Hey Jake, everything will be all right. She will heal again, you will be there for her, as always," Emily spoke to me.

"But this time I slashed through her already mangled heart. Who will put her back together now?" I asked with my face in my hands.

"Your love for her will."

"J-jake, Jake, please don't leave me, don't go," it was Bella's faint whisper. She sounded so desperate.

Seeing her like that made my insides twist and turn in agonizing pain. My Bella, my imprint was suffering and I was the cause of it. I truly hated myself for that.

"What have I done...?" I caressed her cheek and she subconsciously leaned into my touch.

Three weeks passed and there was no change in Bella. Charlie, Emily and I were looking after her round the clock. Even Renee managed to come over for a week.

She ate but did not taste her food, she slept, but did not dream, she was sort of conscious but wasn't living and it was killing me inside every time I had to see her suffering because of me.

I was beside myself. I did not phase many times during that time, my pack brothers didn't need to feel the mess that was currently in my mind.

Days passed quickly. I didn't recognize one from another, they just blurred together. It was late June. I was assign to a rare patrol around La Push tonight. Sam said that it was for my own good. To keep me sane. Yeah, right, I snorted mentally. Embry and I were running the perimeter.

Let's run to the cliffs, I said to my friend.

We just came back from there, he was clearly not happy about it.

Stop whining like a little girl, I have a strange feeling and I say we are going to the cliffs.

Ok, if you insist.

Yes, I do, with that we went. After a while I stiffened. My wolf senses picked something in the dark.

What is it?

Something moves very quickly towards the cliffs, I answered Embry.

Leech?

No, it's, I can't believe it...

Oh shit man, she is fast. Jake wait!

I was already running at the full speed. I knew what she wanted to do and I was determined to stop her. I got to the cliffs with seconds to spare. I phased back and nearly was too late when I pulled my shorts on. I grabbed her wrist just as she was getting ready to jump.

"Bella, don't..." I whispered because I was slightly out of breath from running so fast. She turned back to look at me then.

"Jacob? Are you really here?" She asked half dazed.

"What kind of silly question is that? Of course I'm here and I will never let you go," I hugged her tight.

"But when you left and you were shaking, after you know, I thought..." she could not finish because her voice broke and she started crying, crying because of me. I was truly a monster.

"I know what you thought you silly girl," I kissed her forehead, "I'm here now, I've never left you. I'm sorry that I gave you an impression that I did exactly that."

She just leaned into me closer if that was even possible and gradually calmed down.

"You didn't leave me?"

"No, I mean yes at first, but only not to phase on your couch. I should know better and warn you before hand. I was so mad that you wanted to kill yourself over that leech that I wasn't thinking straight."

"All I was thinking about at that moment was not to phase right there." I explained it to her.

"I thought you hated me for what I have done..." Bella whispered ashamed.

"Oh Bells, no. I could have never hate you. Nobody is perfect after all. You are here and you are human and that what is important here," I stroked her face gently, "now let's get you back home before Charlie wakes up and has a heart attack. We don't want him calling for another search party, do we?"

Bella POV

"No, we don't," I nuzzled myself closer to Jake. I needed his warmth and as if he was hearing my thoughts he put his arm around my waist. We were walking slowly towards Forks in silence. It was still early but at this pace Charlie was certainly going to wake up before I was safely tucked in.

"You know what? This isn't working," before I had time to ask what he meant, the ground disappeared from beneath my feet and Jacob was carrying me bridal style. He was flying towards my house. I must admit, he was way faster than I was. Even in my improved state I was no match for him. But I would not fall too much behind either.

We were back at my house in no time. When I was finally sitting safely on my bed Jake let himself be angry again, but not out of control. I knew this was coming and that I deserved it.

"Why did you do this? Why did you wanted kill yourself again?" He asked, pain colouring every word.

What? Oh shit, I did it again, hurt people dearest to me. Well, true answer would infuriate him more, of that I was sure.

"I wasn't trying to kill myself Jake," I said with as much confidence as I could muster. Apparently it didn't work. Jacob only looked at me with expression that said, Yeah, right.

"You won't like it, but when I thought that I lost you," he tried to protest but I just put my hand over his lips, his warm, soft lips. Stop it Bella, focus. What's wrong with you? "You know what happened, but when I finally resurfaced again I decided that if I cannot have you, at least I can have Edward," I only whispered his name but Jake winced like somebody punched him in the gut.

"So you see I was gonna jump to hear his voice again..." my voice broke and I started crying now. When I looked at Jake he was shaking again, pain written all over his face. I had to do something; I could not loose him again. I decided to go for dangerous. After all I was pro at that. I just simply reached my hands up and put them around Jake's neck hugging myself to him. His shaking subsided a little.

"But I don't want to hear his voice any more. After all it's just a voice. He is not here, he left me and I'm pretty messed up because of it. I want you Jacob," I looked at him again now he stopped trembling, "I want my friend who so patiently was putting my shattered self back together, but only if you have me, that is..." I leaned my head on his sculpted chest, right where his heart was.

"I don't want to be your friend..." when he uttered those words my world ended, I started sobbing in the instant, "please let me finish. I love you Bells, no I'm in love with you, but you already know that. I want to be so much more than your friend. Bells please look at me," and I did,

"I'm gonna be whatever you need me to be; only to see you happy again, so no more tears, and jumping of the cliffs unless it's with me, understood?" I only managed to nod. Seconds after I was lost in Jacob's warm embrace. He was rubbing gentle circles on by back and I felt at home in his arms. I felt like I always meant to be there.

Be happy, you deserve it, I immediately stiffened at the sound of his velvety voice. I could feel Jake second that motion. I quickly recovered and relaxed in to his embrace. I wanted to freeze this moment. I wanted to stay like that till my last breath. The warm embrace of Jacob's arms made me fell safe, wanted, loved. It made me feel at home.

It was when I thought I should use to sleep with my broken heart again, I was offered a second chance from my twisted fate. Yes my heart was broken again but not for my love, for Edward. How easy was to say his name. The hole was bearable now. I was going to learn how to let him go. I had to mend my heart first. I had to put some effort in it myself, to be strong again because I was broken over so much more. Over my sunshine, over my best friend, my Jacob. Though I knew now that he has never left me...

I was going to learn how to live again, how to breathe again and how to love again. I would not let anyone break me again. I had to learn to believe that I was enough. And I knew I would. Something inside me was telling me that I would pull through and I would not be alone in the process.

There was another promise I made to myself. I would learn how to love Jacob. I would try my damn hardest to accomplish it. He loved me for all this time but I was not able to return those feeling in a way he wanted.

There was one thing I was sure of. I wanted to make Jake happy and that thought itself made me smile.

A/N OK, so there it is chapter 4. So what do you think about it? Please tell me. (If me English is iffy in places, remember I'm still learning and it's hard to get beta. PTB is still busy at the moment). I appreciate constructive criticism. But most welcome are pleasant reviews, they are like choc chip biscuits, I crave them, lol.

As for those who hoped for Edward I have to disappoint you. He will not make an appearance just yet.

There was something I stumbled upon while surfing the net. I didn't want Bella instantly jumping into Jacobs pants after he imprinted on her. I want her feel confused and slowly getting over Edward. I read that real imprinting is based on learning and adapting behaviour. So that's why I decided that Bella will learn to love Jake. When she does nothing will stand between them.

If you noticed I used here the title of Alicia Keys song Try sleeping with a broken heart. Great record.

So read and review, as usual pretty please.