Ever been launched from a plant? No? Then I highly doubt you'd be able to relate to the young Wind Waker, who was doing one of the strangest things he'd ever thought a person could do.
Well. It didn't quite compare to being launched from a cannon at a creepy-looking fortress but both had to do with being thrown into the air, and unfortunately…
"Hrrk!" Link grunted, rubbing his sore behind after landing hard on the ground again.
…neither included a soft landing.
But he had to get that leaf, and there was absolutely no way he'd consent to going this far already just to fail on an adventure that he hadn't even started, yet.
"You're doing great, Link," the one they called Irch shouted down to the Wind Waker. "Just try to tilt your body towards the next pod, and then you'll do even better!"
Thankfully, the Korok was too high up to hear the quiet profanity muttered by the supposed 'Hero'.
'Hey! Don't talk like that. What would your Grandma think? You're saving your sister, remember?' the voice called to the hero, and Link just squinted at the sun through the thick leaves. Never one for quitting, though, the green-clad warrior hopped back into the pod.
…Only to be tossed back on the ground for the umpteenth time that day. He winced as he stood back up, wondering if this was the landing that finally shattered his tailbone. Gingerly, he sat down on the softer parts of the forest, ignoring the whispers of the various Koroks.
With a deep breath, he took off his boots, which were, by now, caked with mud. Link clapped them together on the ground beside him. He would've rinsed them in the stream, but he had a feeling that it wouldn't go over too well with the locals. (He could just hear the cries of, 'We drink from that water, you moron!' and quite frankly, he didn't want to put up with that.)
Instead, he cupped his hands and drank some of the spring-water. It was surprisingly cool for the hot climate of the forest.
A moment later, he reclined onto his back. To his surprise, he found no pain in his tailbone. Link stood up very quickly and glanced around the forest. He could've sworn it'd been very badly bruised just a moment ago…
'That's Forest Haven water. It's famous for being able to heal.' The voice said with a smile. 'Drink a little more. You're probably thirsty, anyways.' Link obeyed, more than happy (for once) to follow the advice.
Not a minute later, he felt completely replenished. Pleasantly confused, he tilted his head to the side and glanced up at the sky.
'Like I said, it's famous for its magical healing powers.' The voice stopped for a minute. 'I don't recommend having it too often, though. If you have too much of it in your system in combination with a fairy, your hair will turn pink. And yes, I've seen it happen.'
Link practically leaped back from the spring. Still, he felt good enough to go back to the plant and remake the bruises he'd previously gathered.
After about four more failed attempts (one of them landing on his back, to which the mysterious voice ordered him to drink some more water), he finally got to the second plant.
It launched him straight up in the air a few times, but Link was too scared to go further. He was higher up from there, after all.
'Dude. There's only one way down, and only one way up. Just do what you did before, alright?' And Link gulped. Squeezing his eyes shut, he prepared for the next launch.
By some miracle, he landed in the next flower pod. Unfortunately, he hadn't gotten so much as a glimpse of where the next pod was. It might've had something to do with the fact that his eyes had been closed the entire time.
The flower pod shot him into the air once more, and he tentatively opened one eye. Bad, bad idea. He was too high up to get away unscathed. Or come out just bruised, for that matter. If he was lucky, he'd get just a sprained ankle or wrist. And he did not want to risk breaking his neck if he tried to do the rolling trick from this high up.
'Kid. Don't sweat it. I'll guide you. Just turn a little bit to your left.' The voice reassured him, and Link cautiously shifted his body to that side. 'That's too much. Go back just a tiny bit,' and once more he turned. 'That should launch you in the right direction. Wait for the next jump.'
And the young hero was terrified out of his wits, but he knew that the voice hadn't failed him yet. So, when the flower launched him into the air, he tucked further into himself and felt the sensation of falling… falling…
And landing safely within the next pod.
'Nice job, kid. You're almost to a resting spot, just one more to go before a break. Think you can handle it?'
Link nodded, though he wasn't sure how the voice could see it, being in the pod and all.
'Good. Okay, move to the right. I don't know how, but you managed to land backwards.' Link turned. 'A little more, a little more… stop! That's perfect.'
And so, the Hero of Winds landed safely on a treetop, with Irch practically hovering over him, asking him all sorts of useless questions that he didn't reply to.
000
The Ocarina of Time player let out a breath that he didn't know he'd been holding. It was terrifying to know that he was in charge of the kid's entire fate. And having to lead him though the flower pods? Scarier than facing it himself. Because, if it were him? He would've had Navi to tell him.
Link never knew how hard it would be to be a guide. To know that one wrong direction, one flaw in a plan, and you could be hosing your charge's funeral.
But he calmed himself, and glanced towards the three story high tree branch, where the boy sat safely, with his legs still pulled close to him. The Hero of Time couldn't help but smile. He could only imagine how much adrenaline the kid must have had flowing through him right then. To know that he could be falling from so high up must have been scary beyond all reason.
But hey. It felt good to know that someone besides Zelda still trusted him.
Although… he wasn't sure if she still should. After all, wasn't it his fault that she was here with him?
Link rested his chin on one hand and stared at the ground.
It really wasn't fair of him to beat himself up like that, he knew very well. The princess told him that often enough, anyways. But there were some things that time just couldn't heal, especially when immortality came into play.
A quick glance up to the screen, however, forced him from his thoughts. The young hero was once more looking up to the sky, and Link assumed that the boy was ready to move on.
Maybe he should do the same…
"All right, kid. Time to get going, right?" the Hero of Time looked followed the boy's gaze. "Ah. I see. Well, the problem's simple, really. The thing's too far away for you to jump, right? Well, this'd be about the time to get out your grappling hook, and…"
Yes, the Hero of Time was (once more) back to business.
000
Link, following directions, got out the grappling hook that Medli had given him. He aimed it, and by some stroke of luck, hit his target and found himself swinging towards the flower. He was just about to let go when the voice yelled at him.
'No! Stop the rope! If you jump off right now, I swear to Nayru you'll fall and break every bone in your body. And if the last time you broke a bone was anything to consider, I don't think you'd want to have to waste however many days it would take to pull your shattered remains back together!'
The voice stopped for a minute, and Link could've sworn he heard some panic-y breathing at the other end of the line, so to speak.
'…Sorry, that was kind of graphic, wasn't it?' Link nodded ever so slightly. 'What I meant to say was that you need to line up the rope right. Believe me, it isn't very fun when you miscalculate where you're going to end up and then… well, graphic descriptions make themselves true. So, stop the rope and line it up right.' The young hero complied, and, inch by inch, moved slightly to the right. 'Good. Stop there. Now… swing back and forth, but keep a good grip.'
And while Link tried very hard, the truth was that his arms were getting rather tired. One must remember that this was an Outset boy—never properly trained for this kind of thing. But he wasn't as badly prepared as one might assume. Holding a sword amongst many other heavy objects (like, say, a shield that must weigh as much as him) eventually gives you muscles, no matter how small. Still, he barely managed to hold on long enough to make the jump.
'Nice. Now, just stay there for a minute. It'll launch you into the air a couple times, but as you know, so long as you don't move in any direction, you'll be fine.'
Quite frankly, Link was more than okay with that. He almost enjoyed the wind whipping through his hair (indeed, he would've lost his hat, had he not already taken it off and been holding it tightly against his chest), though the height-thing was still a bit freaky. Once he caught his breath, though, he knew it was time to move forward.
The disembodied voice seemed to agree.
'Alright, kid. Move to the right, 'kay?' And by then, they seemed in tuned to eachother enough so that the voice didn't even have to correct the boy five times of 'how much' he had to go to the right.
A few jumps later, and Link, though he landed on his back, landed on solid ground once more. Well, as solid as flimsy leaves could get, anyway.
'Nice job, Link. Now, just grab the leaf and follow the signs.'
The Hero of Winds couldn't help but wonder for a minute exactly what he meant. "What?" he asked with an incredulous glance to the sky.
'Kid, what's the most obvious thing that the Deku Tree could show you right now?' the voice asked, and Link detected signs of an eye-roll in his message.
It was then that the young hero saw the giant arrow written with grass. His mouth formed an 'O' and he stood at the very edge of the tree's platform.
And then he jumped.
…Unfortunately, he should've waited for the voice's instructions, because while the jump in itself was nice, and he even got the magical leaf out in time, but the landing…
Link saw the ledge approaching and let out a cry of victory. To both guardian and charge's dismay, in that cry of victory, he jumped.
Now, it seemed as if he would've caught the ledge in his descent. It had really, really seemed like it. But, unfortunately, the boy now saw that everything wasn't as it seemed. Thankfully, though, the boy heard a loud cry from a place he didn't know.
'Jump as far forward as you can, you idiot! Stick your hands out in front of you!'
These instructions came barely, barely in time. But in time they managed to come, anyways. And with fingertips on the furthermost point of the cliff's ledge, Link started the difficult task of pulling himself fully onto the surface.
0:0:0
And, wouldn't you know it, the moment he stepped through the dim archway, there was another Korok waiting for him.
"Wow!" the child of the forest exclaimed, "You made it here this fast?"
The young hero rolled his eyes and was about to say something along the lines of, 'you mean how slow?', but, as always, was interrupted. "Anyways, you can't get to the Forbidden woods from here. You have to get to that island over there," the Korok pointed to an island too far away for Link's taste, "and then you have to get caught in that cyclone in order to raise you up high enough to get to the forest," and by then, the hero's hopes had crashed and burned with no hopes of returning.
With legs shaking, he took one step forward, off the edge of the cliff, and discovered that he had no magic.
As Link plummeted into the ocean, he could've sworn he heard a SMACK sound coming from somewhere else.
000
The Hero of Time face-palmed. How was he supposed to know that the boy had been out of magic? Groaning, he watched as the boy, Outsetter he thankfully was, put his arms out correctly so that he wouldn't get hurt from the dive.
Really, Link had the feeling that he should give those Self-Help (to Help Others) books a second glance. Or at least have some way to monitor how much magic and energy the boy had at all times.
…Suddenly, gages that looked an awful lot like those strange 'heart' containers popped up on the screen. There were four, and underneath, an outline of a green bar appeared.
He had no real clue why those were important, but for some reason, the green bar was empty, and once the boy hit the water, the 'hearts' dropped down to three.
000
A soggy Link dragged himself from the ocean and onto the rocks. And just as he managed to slump against one, clutching the oversized stone like some kind of lifeline, one of the cyclones came his way.
Thankfully, though, the gust of wind not only dried his clothes (something he wasn't truly grateful until later, when he had to walk a few miles with boots dripping wet that gave him awful blisters), but lifted him into the air. Given his experience with heights for the day, he shouldn't have been too surprised, but he screamed his head off the whole way up.
And then landed on the cliff he'd been standing on only a moment before.
…Link kissed the ground.
0:0:0
After collecting various pots with unknown substances in them, the Deku Leaf suddenly seemed back to normal. Ignoring a loud, 'Oh! That's what those were for!' from his supposed guide, the young hero tested the wind with his finger and got out the Wind Waker. With a strange conductor's pattern, the wind blew in the direction it had to go.
And so, swallowing his fear, Link stepped off the cliff once more, gliding smoothly towards the island. He was only in the air for a few seconds, but it felt like an eternity, since the boy knew there was so much that could go wrong.
This time, though, the green-clad hero watched for his shadow on the ground before letting go of the leaf. When his shadow was (finally) close enough to the center for the boy, he descended smoothly, taking the shock of the drop in his knees. Link may not have been the sharpest pencil in the case, but he knew better than to do a roll when the cliff was only wide enough for him to lay down twice beside himself.
'Hey, get some of those weird-looking containers. I have a feeling they'll be important,' the voice said, and Link picked up the various pots. He'd taken about three when the disembodied voice told him it was enough. The green-clad hero thought it a bit odd that he knew so much about these when, just a moment ago, he seemed surprised to know that these even existed, but he didn't say anything of it.
Magical baton and leaf out once more, the Wind Waker changed the wind direction so that he wouldn't be blown off course. He waited with a cringe for the cyclone that, if timed correctly, would carry him safely up to the cliff.
…
After about three failed attempts, Link finally got it right, and landed safely on the adjoining ledge to the Forbidden woods. Gulping down his fear, he stepped inside.
0:0:0
The first few feet of the woods were pitch black, but once he got further in, instead of black, he saw only green. Green trees, green grass, and green… blobs.
Link recognized the blob-creatures as some of the ones he'd fought off for the Deku Tree, and immediately got his sword out. They'd never been anything more than a bit disgusting (a 'challenge' would be pushing it), but some still managed to slap him like the rubbery, wet noodles they were.
'Watch your left side. There are three coming on you from there, and quite frankly, I don't think your hair could take anymore gel.'
"You're hilarious," Link grunted, slicing one of the creatures in half (which really shouldn't have worked, since it was made of jell-o, which pretty much sticks back together when you wreck it, but if it works, it works). "Could you do a bit more instructing," he ducked one of their 'attacks', "and a little less joking?"
The voice sighed. 'I instructed you where they were, didn't I? One's behind you, by the way,' he said, a bit too late, because no sooner than he'd spoken than it head-butted the boy, momentarily sticking to the green hat.
"Oh. Gee. Thanks," Link rolled his eyes, and though his sword snagged his hat a little bit while he attacked the creature, it wasn't anything that a sewing machine couldn't fix. The last Green Chu exploded in a purple and black cloud of smoke, leaving behind something shiny.
"That's pretty…" the boy said, examining the glowing orb. No sooner than he'd touched it, however, the dark ball exploded, revealing many useful items. A red heart was the first thing he picked up (he didn't wonder for too long why he felt energized afterwards, or that strange 'Oh!' exclamation from his guide), along with quite a few rupees. He was about to pick up a butterfly necklace when the disembodied voice stopped him.
'Again with the gay thing. Do you realize how hard I try to keep people from thinking tights and tunics—NO THEY ARE NOT DRESSES—are feminine? Step away from the pendant, dude.' Link rolled his eyes and stashed the pretty necklace anyways, having a sudden intuition that it'd be useful later.
Suddenly, however, the young hero whirled around, his hair standing on end with a sensation of being watched. He knew it hadn't been the voice that upset his instinct—mainly because whoever the voice belonged to had been stalking him from day one—and turned his gaze to a flower.
A flower with eyes. …And tentacles.
Creepy much?
Tentatively, Link walked towards it. It didn't seem to be threatening… in fact, it didn't even seem territorial. It didn't attack him when he got closer, and the boy wondered briefly if he should even destroy it. Mind unmade, he walked around the corner to find a treasure chest.
It was guarded by about four different Green Chus, but it wasn't really a problem so long as he listened to his voice.
…Which seemed curiously quiet at the moment.
"Hi!" Link shouted to the sky, causing the Green Chus to wonder about the mental stability of their prey for a moment, "Remember me? The guy you're supposed to be helping?"
'Yes, right.' The voice appeared flustered, as if he'd been preoccupied with something. 'Um. You realize that you're surrounded by those gooey things, right?'
The boy gritted his teeth. "No…" he said, voice dripping with sarcasm, "I just thought I'd disrupt whatever other important thing you were doing for no reason whatsoever. Could you help me out here for a minute?"
'Right. …Um, spin attack, all around you.'
"A what?" Link asked, incredulity creeping into his voice.
The stare that the young hero often felt bearing onto the back of his neck intensified. 'You mean to tell me that you don't know what a spin attack is?' there was the impression of someone pinching the bridge of his nose. 'It's a wonder you've survived this far. By Farore's Courage, you need proper training,' he muttered.
"Yeah. Um. I'm okay with that, but you seem to have forgotten that I'm surrounded right now." Link was almost shouting, which was both strange and unsettling, mainly because the boy talked so little to begin with.
'Right. Well, you know the drill, anyways. One's behind you, one's in front, and one to each side. Just slash 'em a couple times. They don't really pose a threat. I doubt they could leave a bruise if they tried.'
Now, Link knew this. He knew it pretty well. He was just a little upset that his guide, who was supposed to help him through everything, seemed to be too preoccupied with something else at the time.
To no one's surprise, the green-clad warrior came out victorious, but not without another few glares towards the sky.
000
The pot in the corner of the room was now filled with waste. Immortal though he may be, there were certain mortal needs that he had. If you eat and drink, well… it's gotta go somewhere, even in the Hero's Realm.
He glanced back up to the screen and rolled his eyes at the boy who was still glaring at him.
Sometimes, he thought, pulling up his pants, It's almost like the kid thinks he needs me. And he laughed at the thought, because he couldn't help but think of Navi.
000
After retrieving the item from the treasure chest (turning out to be nothing more than a dungeon map, which seemed to be written in Old Hylian, so it was entirely useless), Link was once more staring at the flower with the eye. He'd already tried to cut off the tentacles, but they always grew back. And the flower's weak spot (its eye) disappeared every time he got close enough to get rid of the vines.
He sighed and paced around for a minute, scratching his head and shaking the leaves that'd gotten caught in his hat off.
'Here's a thought,' his voice asked, no longer sounding preoccupied. 'How about you find something to throw at it?'
Link, still partially angry at his guide, huffed. "As if that'd actually work." To prove his point, he walked towards a plant that held a giant nut.
He got closer and chucked the nut at the flower, and to his surprise, it vanished in a black and purple puff of smoke. Sheepishly, he glanced at the floor. Anywhere but the sky, really.
'You're welcome,' the voice said with a smirk.
The young hero flared his nostrils at that, and crossed his arms. "What were you doing there, anyways?"
The voice huffed. 'Since when do I tell you what I'm doing? Geez, kid.'
Link frowned. "I still don't know your name. I'm tired of referring to you, in my head anyways, as 'The Voice'. It's actually kind of creepy. I don't care if it's a fake name or something. Just… anything is better than nothing, you know?"
Sighing, his guide seemed to relent. 'Fine. You can call me… um…' the voice paused. 'If you want, you can call me Navi.'
The young hero, who had read all of the old legends (especially the night before his Coming of Age Celebration, when he spent half the night reading the Legend of the Hero of Time, hence the next morning's tiredness), grinned as big as he could manage.
"I don't think that's your real name, since everyone knows that Navi's a fairy, and fairies are girls, but I think it's pretty cool." And just like that, the boy was contented.
He walked through the door, and he thought for sure he could hear the voice—'Navi'—breathe a sigh in relief.
Not to Link's surprise, the other side of the door was green. Completely… excepting for the odd Venus Fly Trap thing, and more of those flower launchers. …And some weird spiky tentacle things. Couldn't forget those.
The knowledge that he'd have to use more of the floral cannons was depressing, and made the young hero cringe.
His voice—Link corrected himself in his mind—Navi, seemed to sense this. 'It'll be fine, kid. You don't even have to jump in those yet, anyways. Just jump off the ledge there.'
But when the young hero saw exactly how far the ledge was, he wondered if he should truly be taking advice from the myst—Navi, Link reminded himself.
'Oh, come on. It's not even that far. Don't think, just do!'
The green-clad hero forced himself not to make a snide remark about idiots who do things without thought.
((A/N: It was a good thing that he stopped himself, though, mainly because it would've been along the lines of 'reckless masochist' and we all know how the Hero of Time reacts to THAT.))
But he jumped anyways, and found himself surprisingly okay, mainly because he'd turned it into a somersault at the very last second.
'Boko Babas. You might want to get your sword out… wouldn't want one of them to eat you or anything,' the—'Navi' said, and Link shuddered at the imagery. Yes, he'd be striving to avoid that fate… but did he really have to kill the things? They were almost sentient, with the way they moved…
And, in that ability for motion, one snapped at the young hero, and he barely managed to jump back in time. He decided that he'd be okay with killing a few, so long as he wasn't eaten alive first.
With his sword reflecting the green all around him, the green from the 'blood' of the plants went almost unnoticed.
Still, after they'd all fallen (and he'd picked up their creepy looking seeds), he was baffled as for what to do next. There was a small hut-looking thing with a treasure chest in the middle. Link could guess that there'd be a few Green Chus guarding it, but the real problem was the creepy flower with the eye and the tentacles. He didn't see anything big enough to throw at it, and he didn't know any other way to destroy it.
Sighing in frustration (and cursing a bit under his breath, which his pseudo-fairy scolded him for), he sat down on one of the mossy rocks.
'Alright, kid. I'd say it was time for a break, anyways.' Link nodded, and after a minute or two's rest, his stomach growled.
'When was the last time you ate? Like, real food, and not a potion or a sip of water?' Navi asked with an incredulous tone creeping into his speech.
"I'm fine," the boy protested, crossing his arms. "It's not like you can eat anything here, anyways."
'Can't eat anything here? Are you daft? This is a forest, ain't it? People used to survive solely on what the trees and the grass would bring. You seriously didn't know this?'
Link, who was staring at … well, an empty space, but imagining that it was someone else's face anyways, looked so confused that his guide could only sigh and further explain.
'Okay. The seeds you just collected? You can eat them. They're a bit spiky, but have about the same texture as a pineapple—complete with the acidic tendencies.'
The boy blinked. "What's a pineapple?"
'For the love of Nayru! You live on a tropical island and you don't know what a pineapple is? No, scratch that—your island has a forest on it, too! Haven't you ever been there before?'
The green-clothed hero took off his floppy hat and scratched his head. "Not really. There were a lot of nasty rumors about it, and quite frankly…" he shrugged. "No one really had a reason to go into it, especially after the bridge broke and the fairy hole got covered with a rock."
'Navi' was quiet for a minute. Then he cleared his throat. 'I see. So you were the first to go back into it in… years?'
The boy reddened a bit. He'd never been someone to enjoy flattery… "Try decades. Orca seemed to be the only one who even remembered the basic layout, so it's lucky that he told me where to go when he trained me."
The pseudo-fairy laughed. 'About that training… whenever you're ready, we'll practice a bit.'
"Right here? In the middle of the forest?" the green-clad warrior asked, eyes widening.
'Well, yeah. Don't most people learn in a forest?' his voice asked, seemingly puzzled. Then, he seemed to remember something. 'But we do NOT start until you have something to eat! You'll make yourself sick, and we just barely got here!'
The boy flared his nostrils a bit at that, but figured it was no use trying to argue with the 'fairy'. Besides, Navi might try to get revenge by shouting random, unimportant things every three seconds, and Link didn't think he could deal with that easily. (The very thought of the voice shouting, 'Hey! Link! Hey, Link, listen!' every three seconds was terrifying.)
So, he got to his feet and, with a sigh, listened to the pseudo-fairy ramble on about the various fruits and vegetables that were native to these woods.
…Granted, a fleeting thought of, 'Wait, how does this guy know so much about this forest?' occurred to him more than once, but the boy was determined not to ask, mainly because he was too busy eating his fill. He hadn't even realized he was hungry until he'd started eating, but he was glad that 'Navi' had said something. A few minutes later, Link had finished replenishing his (completely depleted) energy reserves, and with a contented smile, he sat down on the grass.
'Toldja. The purplish-red berries are the best ones, if I do say so myself. And they're not bad with Boko Baba seeds, I'll tell you that right now.' And the boy nodded, his hand resting gently on his sword-hilt. Although the forest all around him seemed downright creepy at times (he hadn't forgotten the weird, spiky, tentacle things, and even then, they wiggled above him), he felt almost relaxed.
In truth, he didn't like talking much in general, but he felt almost at ease speaking out loud to the pseudo-fairy. Granted, the one who called himself 'Navi' did a lot more talking than Link, but it was still nice to be able to feel like he could get a word in edgewise.
He'd been around a lot of talkative women in his young life, and if there was one thing they'd taught him, it was that if you didn't say the right thing to a girl, they took it personally.
A few minutes passed, and the boy almost dozed off. The disembodied voice, however, startled him awake. 'Resting or taking a break here is one thing,' he said as Link roused himself, 'But I don't think it'd be a good idea to sleep here.'
The young hero nodded his agreement and started walking towards the treasure chest with the hopes that the wannabe fairy had already forgotten about the sword-lessons. It wasn't that learning how to fight better wasn't fun…
"So… ahem, what do you want me to do here?"
'Ah, ah, ah. Not so fast, kid. You're not getting out of sword-training that easy.' The pseudo-fairy chided him, and the boy sighed.
…It was just that learning when you're tired and hot and sweaty (with no thanks to the woolen undershirt that your grandma insisted that you wear) and had just eaten.
But he figured that he had to fight the Green Chus still in hiding on the inside of the hut anyways, so he nodded up to the sky and kept walking.
'Alright. Sword out and in your left hand, feet apart, shield strapped to your left arm, and make sure you're prepared.' Link did his best to follow the instructions, but he seemed a bit more bored than battle-ready. 'Um. Open your eyes all the way, please?'
Instead, the boy just rolled them. He was fighting against green blobs. What was the worst that could happen?
…
Fifteen minutes later, the boy was still cleaning the green gel out of his hair.
Really, the fight hadn't gone too badly. He'd done what he usually did, but for the last one, his guide instructed him to spin around really fast with his sword pointing really fast.
I think you see where, exactly, things went wrong.
Link did as instructed, but he'd never done too well with spinning around really fast—part of the reason for his instinctual aversion to the cyclones—and lost his balance, right as the Chu was leaping to tackle his torso. Instead of hitting him in the stomach with all the intensity of a wet noodle, the green blob ended up getting squashed against the boy's hair, and the force of impact knocked the green hat from his head.
'…Okay. Um. We'll try that again later…' the voice was saying, and Link guessed it was about the closest he'd get to an apology. 'But as for now, let's just try burning down that flower, eh?'
"What?" the boy blinked, tilting his head to the side.
'You didn't notice the fire? There's usually one for situations like this… But anyways, try to find something to use as a match. Like… like a deku stick or something.'
"Again…what?" the young hero asked, eyebrows scrunching together in suspicion.
'Just… peh. Okay, you see all around you? Those are trees. Highly combustible. Just break off a branch and hold it over the flame, will ya? …And for the love of Farore's bloody pearl, be careful,' the pseudo-fairy ordered, irritation audible in his voice.
"Alright, alright, no need to get pushy. Sheesh," Link pacified the so-called 'fairy' and grabbed what looked to him like a broken off branch. Unfortunately, it was right next to a bush with very sharp thorns, and they tore holes in his shirt and cut him in a few different places on his arm.
'I'd say, 'I told you so,' but I don't think you'd appreciate it.'
The Outsetter ignored the smirk that seemed to appear alongside the comment, and continued onwards with the stick. He held it tentatively in front of him, and carefully lowered it to the flame.
Surprisingly, nothing went wrong. There were no sneak attacks by green blobs or random Venus Fly Traps trying to hurt him, and no spiky branches. He simply lit the stick on fire and used the branch to light the flower.
'Based off of your luck,' the boy's guide said with what could only be considered a smirk, 'I was expecting you to light yourself on fire or something. You'd think that there's someone in charge or fate or something that just enjoys making your life miserable.'
"Thanks for the positivity," Link replied, his voice dripping with sarcasm. "I'll make sure to remember all the love and care and support you gave me during this quest."
The boy walked forward, now slightly paranoid about the whole 'fate hates him' thing, and gingerly opened the chest.
…Inside was, no, not a small key, not a big key, not a new item—but a Knight's Crest!
Needless to say, Link felt a bit slighted, and very short-changed. The disembodied voice seemed to agree.
…But more colorfully.
"Now, now. You were getting onto me for cursing, remember?" the boy reminded him with a sly grin.
'Just for that, I say it's time we move on. You know what that means, right?'
Link's face immediately fell. In under a second, he changed from smug to worried to terrified.
'Yes, indeed. To the flower pods we go!' and the young Outsetter got the sudden impression of being the pack horse of the Hero of Time. Always dead-tired, and forced to do crazy stunts just to please a partially insane master.
Yet somehow, with his guide leading him through the floral cannons, it wasn't as bad that time around. In fact, the boy almost smiled as he was launched from platform to platform, sometimes even having to use the magical leaf to get him to the ones further away.
But, of course, once he landed on the final ledge, he found that it was guarded by a few Green Chus.
He decided to kill them both as fast as he could, in honor of his hair, still ruined by their brother's goo.
XXX
Hello! Welcome back to Guiding the Wind Waker. I'm your host, SamuraiSal1, and today we learned all about the dangers of flower-cannons, the too-easy-to-impress Koroks, and that even the dudes in the Heroes Realm need to go sometimes, too. Thankfully people remembered to put a pot inside the chamber. xD
Anyways. Hope you enjoyed the latest installment, and please review?
ALSO: Remind me never to attempt writing more than half of this in one night. I wrote 4033 words last night while listening to way too many Disney songs. So if Link seems a bit gay-er than usual, well, blame A Goofy Movie's "Nobody Else But You". …It would also explain the on-and-off sappiness between the two Links.