Thank you for the review and follow! This fic is not beta'd so any mistakes are my own.
xxx
When Jack finally came to me, I was sitting under a tarp with a book I'd found. The weather on this island was unpredictable. I had been sitting in the sun with Shannon just minutes before it started down pouring. When I saw the look on his face, I set the book down, preparing myself for what was coming.
"Hey." He crouched down and sat next to me on the dry sand, water dripping from his soaked head. "How are you feeling?"
"Wet." My hand reached up to point at my own rained on hair and I gave him a small smile. "But other than that – just dandy."
"How did the hike go?" He asked and I let out a deep sigh.
"Just get straight to it, Jack. Stop beating around the bush." I watch him roll his eyes. "I know Kate told you what happened. Yes, I collapsed. Dehydration is dangerous. I've been drinking more water. I'm fine now."
He stared at me with eyebrows raised as I listed off my responses to his unasked questions and after a beat of silence, he let out a harsh laugh.
"Yeah, I bet you are. Except you and I both know that dehydration isn't what caused that to happen, Lana." I made sure to avoid his eyes, and gaze out into the rain. "You said you were better. If I knew things were still like this—"
"If things were still like this, you'd what? You'd have left me there to rot in that stupid place? Jack, the people in there were crazy. They were hiding rocks in their underwear."
"What, and what you're doing now isn't?" My eyes locked onto him with a hardness. "We're gonna run out of food at some point and my guess is sometime soon, so next time you skip a meal, remember that. I can't resuscitate you here when your heart gives out."
Tears sprung quickly in my eyes at his words and I stood up abruptly, ripping my arm out of his grip when he reached for it. If I had looked back, I would have seen his expression matched mine. We were both at a loss.
"Just leave me alone, Jack." I was thankful for the torrential rain at that moment, because as I walked past the other survivors, searching for a different shelter to sit under, I didn't think anyone could see. My eyes came across a shelter I'd recognized and the rational half of my brain told me to just walk past it. I followed the advice of the other half, opening the tarp and finding it empty. Well, not completely empty. There were books scattered everywhere and a few packs of cigarettes were piled on top of a suitcase in the corner. It was small, but it was big enough for the mental breakdown I needed to have.
So, when I sat down in the shelter that wasn't mine, I cried. I cried until my lungs hurt from sobbing, until my eyes were swollen and tear ducts running dry.
Jack had always been like this with me. Our mom would baby me, give me anything I wanted, and just fuel the relapses I always ended up having. Our dad would humiliate me, verbally abuse me or just ignore his daughter completely, which I honestly felt was most of the reason I ended up this way. Because he did those things even before I was sick.
But Jack – he was always tough about it. My brother was constantly in doctor mode, listing off things that would happen to me, what nutrients I wasn't getting, how many calories I needed to get through a day. He was always tough – never soft. He was never asking how I got this way, how therapy went. He just acted like it was my own fault – like I wanted to be like this.
"Well, well, well…" Sawyer's voice made me jump as he entered the shelter I'd snuck into. "I've been waitin' for this, sweetheart."
I threw him a glare, face dried of any trace that not ten minutes ago, I was soaking his makeshift bed with tears. He didn't seem to notice my swollen eyes or red nose as he stood there with a smug smile, either that or he was ignoring it. "Don't flatter yourself, Sawyer."
"Flatter myself?" He let out a small laugh, sitting beside me on the makeshift bed he'd been calling his since the crash. The man looked over at me with a twinkle in his eye and I tried my best not to roll her eyes. "Honey, this won't be the last time I catch you in here."
"Whatever helps you sleep at night." I let out a laugh of my own, before standing, ready to leave. The rain had stopped a while ago.
"Hey," I turned, listening. "What was all that back with you and Dr. Jackass?"
"Why do you care?" My lips were a thin line, my guard up. Though, it never really went down when it came to my issues. I didn't think anyone could actually see us arguing through the rain that had pelted on everyone. But since Jack was acting the hero, I guess I wasn't surprised people were always watching him.
"Now who's flattering themselves?"
I left his tent after that, ignoring the smirk that followed me. My eyes caught the gaze of Boone, who was starting to build a fire, and made my way over to him.
"Need a hand?" I asked, hand on my hip as I watched him throw a piece of firewood in the pit he'd created. The dark haired man looked up at me with a relief clear on his face, as well as sweat.
"Yes." He exaggerates the word and I let out a laugh, making my way over to the wood. Luckily, someone had put the wood people had collected under a tarp before the rain earlier that day, or it would be a very dark night on the beach. Unbeknownst to me, it would be either way. "I asked Shannon, big mistake as usual, and she said something about breaking a nail. I swear, she doesn't realise we're stranded on a deserted island and not the Hilton."
"At least she's getting a good tan out of it." I snort.
After throwing a few sticks into the fire Boone had started, I caught eyes with someone across the beach. Jack waved me over with a look on his face I couldn't quite place. I let out a deep sigh before looking back to Boone.
"Hey, I'll be back, okay?" After giving him the heads up, I made her way over to him.
"Come to beg for my forgiveness?" I asked, crossing my arms across my chest.
"Yeah, actually." Jack surprised me and I realized the look on his way actually could be placed – guilt. "Look, I know I haven't always been your biggest supporter."
"Could say that again." I muttered, forcing him to hold his hand up.
"But that's because I didn't have to be the only one. I shouldn't have said what I said earlier, I said it out of anger. Fear, even." I allowed my arms to fall, taking in what he was saying. He'd never been this honest with me. "But we're the only family we have on this island and I… I can't let you take that away from me."
"Jack—" I moved to take a step towards him, but he put a hand on my arm.
"I don't want to watch you destroy yourself anymore. I blamed you for so long, when maybe I should have been blaming myself. I didn't do anything to help you." Tears formed in his eyes and for a minute, I could have sworn I was imagining it. "That's gonna change."
Jack let me wrap my arms around him after that, engulfing him in a hug that said everything I needed to say. I didn't know how long they were standing there, but we were interrupted by Hurley.
I heard him ask my brother a question as he approached, but I was too busy sniffing to understand what he had said. I let my hands drop as Jack backed away.
"I saw her go in the tent." His head nudged towards the infirmary.
"You let her in there alone?" Hurley seemed shock.
"What's she going to do?" Jack lets out of a small laugh. "She's 120 pounds soaking wet."
"Yeah, but she's got that gun."
"What?" The doctor questioned, taking a step forward.
"She's strapped, man. I saw it in her... in her—" Hurley's sentence never finished as Jack ran towards the tent. I had no idea what was happening.
"Kate?!" Jack shouted, and not even three seconds later, she left the tent, looking back with a sadness in her eyes. A gun shot sounded just afterward and we all jumped. Kate walked off while Sawyer left the tent with a gun.
"What did you do?" I heard my brother ask, anger erupting in his tone.
"What you couldn't." Sawyer glared at him. "Look, I get where you're coming from being a doctor and all, but he wanted it. Hell, he asked me. So, I don't like it any more than you do, but something had to be done."
There was a silence before a choking sound came from the infirmary tent. The marshal didn't die. I felt sick.
"Oh, no way. Guys?" Hurley asked, his cringe mirroring the one on my face beside him. We watched Jack and Sawyer go back into the tent, where they could be heard arguing from outside. Hurley left after this, muttering a quick 'Oh, boy' as his head shook.
Sawyer left the tent minutes later, trying to light a cigarette but having no luck. I watched him throw the cigarette, shouting. It was clear he felt bad – guilty. But I didn't know how I was meant to feel towards him in that moment.
Suddenly, the choking sound stopped and Jack walked out of the tent with an empty look on his face. He didn't even look at me as he walked past. The marshal was dead.
And as I sat on the beach in the spot I was standing in, I realized that it wasn't the jungle Jack should've warned me about. It was the way this island was changing people. I could barely recognize my own brother with that look on his face.
What the hell was going to happen to her?