Disclaimer: I do not own Tales of Symphonia, and I am not making any money from this story. A few lines in the second chapter are taken from the game script, but the rest is mine.
Lords of Niflheim
By BUTTEREDROSIE
Chapter Three: Revalations
"Wow, Raine! You did it!" Genis' voice was alarmingly gleeful. I managed to tear my gaze from the smoking remains of the Palmacosta Human Ranch to stare at him in disbelief.
"Yes, well, we had better get out of here and decide what to do next." Even Raine looked absurdly pleased with herself. I wasn't a pacifist by any stretch, but even this seemed a little callous of them. Or were they really that naïve? All of them, even Colette, seemed utterly unworried about the inevitable consequences of demolishing the human ranch in such a spectacular manner.
As our group headed out of the vicinity, I dropped back to walk by Professor Raine. "That was rather brutal of you."
She studied me. "As I said before, if we are going to be contesting the Desian supremacy over Sylvarant, we can't hold ourselves back. Don't tell me you're having second thoughts? Don't you remember what they did in Iselia and what they tried to do to the people of Palmacosta?"
"I'm not arguing with your reasoning, I'm just a little surprised. For people who are supposed to be saving lives and striving toward peace, we sure are causing a lot of death and destruction."
"We have to take action if we really plan to change anything. Hoping that we can make the Desians peaceably relinquish their human captives and cease hostilities against us without a fight is foolish and unrealistic. We have to be prepared for the inevitable aggressive actions that we will be forced to take. Very few successful revolutions ever took place without bloodshed."
I hesitated before replying. "All I'm saying is that the merriment you guys have been expressing in the wake of what we did seems a little morbid and presumptuous. How many people do you think died in that explosion? And I'm not just talking about half-elves. How can we be sure that all the humans imprisoned there got out safely? The only ones that we know escaped were the people who were recently abducted from the city. What about the people who had already been there? I strongly doubt that the Palmacosta Human Ranch had no humans in it prior to the recent influx."
I definitely had her attention now. She was staring at me as if she'd never seen me before; like maybe I wasn't as stupid as she'd thought. I knew it was a result of my words, but I made no move to remedy the situation. It had recently occurred to me that the sole reason that I had assumed my facade in the first place had been to avoid being ostracized from Iselia. I had been afraid of how they would react to knowing about the shadows. I had feared that I would become hated and ultimately forced out of the village.
But both of those had occurred anyway. Despite the shadows' disappearance, I had been cast out of my home without pity. What was the use of keeping up the act? The only thing that I now wanted to avoid was having Genis, Raine, and Colette realize that I had been deceiving them for so long. But it couldn't hurt for me to stop acting like quite so much of an idiot. They would most likely write it off as an effect of the journey. After all, it's not unusual for people to mature as a result of difficult experiences.
"What you're saying could be true, but I have to believe that what I did was the best possible option. By blowing up the ranch, I eliminated their stronghold in this area. That means that the people of Palmacosta can build up their city without fear, and can prepare themselves to fight back against the Desians when they return to reclaim this region. If any innocents died back there, they were tragic but necessary sacrifices for the future of Sylvarant."
I stared at her, completely blindsided. It wasn't naivety on Raine's part, it was pure utilitarianism. "Sacrifice for the greater good? I'm not sure I like that."
She looked at me sharply, her stride faltering for a second. I wondered what I had said to elicit the reaction. She shook her head slowly and sped up a little to rejoin the rest of the group.
As she passed me, I saw that her eyes were strangely sad as she murmured, "Then maybe you're on the wrong journey."
Walking alone behind the others, I pondered that cryptic statement. I couldn't help but feel that there was something going on here that I didn't know about.
I helped set up camp as quickly as I could, eager to follow Kratos for the day's sparring practice. I had to admit that learning from him was improving my swordsmanship in leaps and bounds. The man was a genius with three feet of sharpened steel in his hands. I never won a single match against him, and I still strongly suspected that he was holding back. I wondered how he had gotten so good when only looked a few years older than the Professor. Had he spent his entire life training?
I dropped my pack near Genis', deciding to set up my sleeping place later. Kratos' lessons had quickly become the favorite part of my days. There was something almost peaceful about letting myself fall into the rhythm of attacks and parries. I had never fought another human without the intent to disable or kill before, and it was more fun than I had anticipated. Not fearing for my life every second was a big bonus.
I arrived at the clearing he had pointed out earlier to find the older warrior already going through a set of warm-up exercises. The location he had picked was out of sight of the camp, though not so far that we wouldn't be able to hear trouble and return quickly. At first we had sparred at the campsites, but the others had gathered to watch us, calling out observations and jokes. Their commentary, though not maliciously intended, had distracted and irritated me. I didn't say anything about it, but I think Kratos noticed anyway, because the next day he led me to a somewhat more secluded spot in which to practice.
I drew my own blades and began a set of simple attacks. It was best to start slow and work up to the more complicated techniques. Also, I had recently purchased new swords to replace the mismatched Desian weapons. It had taken awhile to acquire the new equipment due to the scarcity of weaponsmiths who catered to ambidextrous fighters.
But the wait had been worth it. My new swords were extremely lightweight and perfectly matched. I had gotten katanas, since they were the type I was most familiar with. I was curious to try out scimitars, but decided that I would have plenty of opportunities to experiment in the future when so much didn't depend on my competence.
I completed the simple katas and segwayed into a more intricate one. I worked my way in a narrow circle, jabbing high and low with my blades. I gradually increased my speed until my swords were a blur of glinting metal spinning around me. I was so engrossed in the movement that I didn't notice Kratos until his broadsword interrupted my rhythm. I could feel a smile stretching my lips as I turned my attention to the man.
We messed around a bit, feigning thrusts and avoiding engaging the other's blade for longer than a second. A sudden idea came to me, and I decided to try something new. The next time he thrust at me, I leapt forward to meet him, dropping to one knee under and slightly to the side of his blade. I slid one of my katanas along his sword to block it, simultaneously twisting my body up to swing my other sword toward his neck. I didn't hold any strength back, certain that he would be able to deflect the attack. Unsurprisingly, he did. His free hand grabbed my wrist, halting the path of my sword. He then jabbed the pommel of his heavy broadsword against my other hand, knocking the katana to the ground. In the blink of an eye, he twisted my arm behind my back and held his sword point to my neck.
"Concede."
"Ow. I concede."
He immediately released me, and I got to my feet, rubbing my wrists with a rueful smile. "I reiterate: ow."
I could see an answering smile tugging at his mouth as I retrieved my lost sword.
"That was a clever move."
"Still didn't come even close to working," I laughed and sheathed my weapons, following his example.
"That's because you need to remember that my sword isn't my only weapon. You formulated that attack on the assumption that I would be helpless once you had blocked my blade and moved in. You dismissed my unarmed hand as useless, and that was your undoing."
"And the pummel; I didn't expect you to hit me with that either."
He just raised an eyebrow and smirked.
At moments such as this, Kratos seemed softer. Not less powerful, just more relaxed. It was as if he walked around all day on edge, and you only realized how tense he was all the time once he finally got a chance to unwind. I was glad that he got something out of these sparring sessions as well. I knew that fighting an amateur like me couldn't be very challenging for him and I felt guilty sometimes.
He straightened up slightly and his expression resumed its usual blandness. I knew that it was time to return. With no small measure of reluctance, I accompanied him back to camp. I knew that he would have returned to his normal, distant self by the time our friends were in sight. I sighed inaudibly. I had become quite fond of the semblance of good humor that he showed in our matches. I shook my head at myself disgustedly. I was doing this to improve myself, not to become bosom buddies with Kratos. I enjoyed his company, sure, but I had to focus on advancing my skills. Colette's safety was at stake, not to mention Genis and the Professor's.
Just before rejoining the others, I stopped Kratos with a light touch to his arm. "Thank you for this."
I met his gaze seriously, and knew that he understood what I left unsaid.
"You're welcome."
The harsh sound of our labored breaths was loud in my ears. Our footsteps echoed in the smooth hallways as we ran; a harried cadence. The Asgard Human Ranch was far larger than the one in Palmacosta, and I feared we would be detected before we could activate the transporter to Kvar's room.
A dark haired woman ran gracefully beside me. She was Sheena Funjibayashi, mysterious ex-assassin and allegedly our newest ally. Despite the circumstances of our first meetings with her, I believed that her desire to help us now was genuine. She had been present when we had discovered the truth about Exspheres the last time we were here, and had been just as horrified as the rest of us. Our current mission wasn't about the Chosen or the World Regeneration. It was about striking back at the monsters who could so ruthlessly disregard human lives.
We raced around a corner, only to be confronted with a gate lowering to block the path.
"They're cutting us off!" Genis' voice was panicked.
I growled under my breath and put on a burst of speed, dropping to the ground in front of the gate and sliding through the gap. I jumped to my feet on the other side and turned back just in time to watch the gate move to blockade the last few inches.
"Lloyd!" Their voices were muffled through the thick metal.
"Lloyd! Can you hear me?"
"Don't worry, Professor," I called. "I'll deactivate the switch on this side and find a way to meet up with you. Go find the other one!"
"But we can't leave you here alone!"
I shifted in frustration. I loved Colette, but there wasn't time for this. "Don't worry about me! Now, go!"
Without waiting for an answer, I ran off down the corridor, keeping a wary watch for enemies. I experienced a disconcerting feeling of deja vu as I dashed through the building. Were all Desian bases designed to look exactly the same? I was so disoriented by the identical passages that I had no idea if I was still even going in the right direction. After a few minutes, I observed that the corridor was widening, and the walls had metal lines running across them in an unfamiliar pattern.
The hallway abruptly led into a massive chamber. My steps slowed against my will as I stared around in horror. Countless rows of tanks filled with viscous blue liquid filled the room. In each tank a nude human body floated. Thin tubes were inserted down their throats and into the veins on their arms.
We had discovered earlier that Exspheres were made using humans as incubators, but I had never imagined anything this vile. I tried frantically to quell my nausea and tear my eyes from the abomination before me. I had a task to do! Colette and the others were counting on me; I had to pull myself together.
A haughty voice rang out, shocking me from my stupor. "Exquisite, aren't they?"
Lord Kvar stalked into view from behind a tank, an arrogant sneer on his sharp features as he surveyed the girl within it dispassionately. A long staff with a deadly metal point was held loosely in his right hand.
"They're revolting," I spat, drawing both swords in one smooth movement.
"A superb example of Desian technology, though far from the most impressive." He finally turned to face me. "That would be what you have so kindly brought to me."
I scowled and bit out a reply. "My Exsphere, yes, you told me last time. But I have no interest in trading words with a disgusting man like you. I can never make you suffer enough for the pain you have caused."
His mocking laugh pierced my ears like shards of ice, cold and sharp. "You, boy? I'd like to see you try!"
"You like the sound of your own voice too much. Enough!"
I loped toward him slowly, cautious despite my anger. It was well that I was, for three flying robots of some sort dropped down from the ceiling to hover in front of him, electricity crackling around them. I definitely didn't want to come into contact with those.
Still smirking infuriatingly, Kvar pointed his staff at me. "Come show me the power of that Exsphere!" he taunted.
Deciding to oblige him, I concentrated on the blue stone on my hand. The power immediately awoke to my call, rising up in a familiar flood. Strength flowed through my limbs, and I took off toward the half-elf in a flash. A single swipe sent his closed guardian careening into a tank nearby, cracking the glass. Another few steps and I was directly in front of him, hammering blows against his staff. I grinned maliciously as he was driven back by the force of my attack. A sudden tingle down my spine warned me in time to leap away and avoid a blast of electricity from the remaining two robots. My swords were glowing with the power from my Exsphere as I raced toward the distracting enemies.
The battle was exhausting. I danced between the three foes, never able to ignore the others long enough to dispatch any one. The strength from the Exsphere kept me fleet enough to keep up the pace, but by the time I managed to score a disabling hit on one of the remaining drones, my energy was flagging.
Kvar lunged toward me with a sudden movement that almost made me stagger. I tried to step away, but felt my back hit something solid. A blast of energy caught me in the chest, and I stumbled to my knees, shaking uncontrollably as currents of electricity raced through my body. Then Kvar's staff collided with the side of my head, knocking me to the floor. I coughed and tried to force my limbs to work, but it was as if my brain had been separated from my body, leaving me helpless, incapable of defending myself.
"Is that really all? I suppose I shouldn't have expected any better from a pathetic little human."
He kicked me onto my back and stared down at my shuddering form in disappointment.
"B-bastard…" I forced out between clenched teeth. Was I really this weak: unable to defend myself without my friends even this once?
Kvar sighed and raised his staff over me. "You've outlived your entertainment value. Die now."
I stared transfixed as my death rushed down toward me, unable to comprehend my failure. The razor point of the staff glinted in the poor light, mocking my inadequacy, racing ever closer only to disappear in an explosion before reaching its target. I watched in shock as Kvar's eyes widened, and then a familiar sword was sliding effortlessly into his chest. My salvation was a tall man with cold eyes and deadly precision. Kratos placed a boot against the half-elf's chest and roughly shoved him off his sword with a sickening, meaty sound.
Then he was kneeling beside me, eyes systematically cataloguing my injures. I numbly noticed that he hadn't cleaned the dark blood from his sword yet. Wasn't that important?
I lost track of time for a while then. When awareness rushed back, I was confused to see Raine at my side in Kratos' place. Her eyes were closed and her staff held horizontally over me as soft green light flowed into me. With each passing second, I felt more and more aware.
Her eyes opened and she offered a slight smile. "Good, you're awake. Before you ask, you only lost consciousness for a few minutes. The shock you received from that drone was pretty powerful. It had damaged your nervous system, but I've fixed you up now. You may have slight bruising on your cheek, but it will go away in a few days at most."
I cleared my throat and sat up gingerly. "Thanks, Professor."
I looked around and saw Kvar's body lying crookedly in a pool of dark blood. Colette and Genis were looking around themselves at the tanks in disgust, but Sheena and Kratos were nowhere to be seen. Raine stood all the way up and offered a hand. I accepted and let her pull me to my feet.
"We should catch up with the others now. They went to search for some sort of control panel for these Exsphere machines."
I followed her silently with Genis and Colette. We met up with Kratos and Sheena in an adjoining room filled with machines attached to glass screens. They were doing something involving pressing a lot of buttons and pulling levers. I stood to the side mutely as Raine joined them.
At camp that night I sat huddled in my blanket, leaning against a rock. It had been after dark by the time we had gotten far enough from the ruins of the Asgard Human Ranch to feel comfortable camping. Kratos hadn't suggested a sparring match. Silence had reigned over all of us since leaving the ranch.
I pulled the thin blanket more tightly around my shoulders and stared at the ground. I felt someone sit down quietly beside me, and knew without looking that it was Colette. She leaned against my shoulder, but I seemed unable to return the gesture.
Raine had ascertained that there was no way to safely remove the humans from the tanks without killing them or causing their Exspheres to mutate the host bodies. So we had done the right thing. The thing that servered the greater good. After all, a blow of this magnitude was bound to be crippling to the Desians.
Sacrifices are inevitable.
I felt Genis sit down on my other side, effectively ensconcing me in the familiar warmth of my friends. I listened wordlessly as they began to speak.
"Remember Phaidra's pies? Her blackberry pies? We'd spend hours in the summer picking berries from those bushes by your house, Lloyd, just so she'd make those pies."
Collete squeezed my arm gently. "I wonder what they're all doing now."
I felt Genis hunch down. "I wonder if they've finished rebuilding…"
"I'm sure they don't blame you anymore!" She hurried to reassure us, in typical Colette fashion. "They were just upset and afraid at first. When we go back, I just know they'll accept you back into the village."
I spoke up for the first time since Raine had healed me. "I'm not going back to Iselia."
"What? What about your Dad?"
"Genis, I can't go back there now." I tried to make him understand. "That place is a relic from my childhood. I've seen so much now… I don't think that I could ever feel content in that same, narrow world."
I could tell that they didn't see just how surreal going back to that place would be for me. I pulled my blanket tighter yet, feeling achingly alone despite their proximity.
Colette suddenly rose to her feet and squared her narrow shoulders. When she turned to face us, there was determination in her eyes. "I will save this world. I'll fix everything that's wrong and cruel and unfair about it! I'll get rid of the Desians and help everyone they've hurt! I love Sylvarant, and I love my friends. I'll make this world perfect so that nothing can hurt what I love ever again!"
I looked at her standing there, straight and unwavering, resolution etched across her face, and all I could feel was despair. Suffocating, cloying despair. Colette was so pure and righteous, taking on the world to protect that which she loved. No matter how I strove, my efforts always fell short. I had failed by letting Iselia be attacked and having to kill Marble. I had failed to rescue Chocolat from the Desians. I had failed to defeat Kvar, and Kratos had come to save me, yet again. I allegedly possessed a superior Exsphere, yet I wasn't even strong enough to defend the ones I loved. Would I always continue to fail?!
Colette and Genis returned to their own blankets eventually, but I stayed awake long into the night, watching the campfire embers die out.
The next morning, Sheena stood to make an announcement. "I know that I came here intending to kill Colette, and that makes it hard for you guys to trust me, but now that I've seen this world and all the suffering in it, I can't take away their only hope."
Raine considered her skeptically. "You mean: you won't attempt to assassinate Colette anymore?"
Sheena shook her head empathetically. "No. I believe that Colette will do what's best for both of the worlds.
Colette spoke up. "Of course. I'll ask lord Remiel what can be done the next time I see him. I know that the Goddess Martel could never have intended for this rivalry between the worlds to exist. There must be something we can do."
Sheena smiled warmly at the girl. "Thank you. I know you'll do your best."
We packed up camp in contemplative silence, each of us wondering how the situation could possibly be resolved. Desians, World Regeneration, and now the contention between the two worlds: the sheer amount of problems we were attempting to fix was mind boggling. I met Kratos' gaze from across the clearing. He had been even more aloof than usual since Sheena had joined us with knowledge about the true nature of the World Regeneration. Had the discovery really shocked him that badly? Somehow, I thought not. I decided against asking him. It was doubtful that he'd confide in me, anyway.
We had decided that the best thing we could do at the moment was continue the regeneration. Then the next time Colette broke a seal and Lord Remiel appeared she could ask him about Tethe'alla and the conflict over the mana supply. If we ran into any more human ranches along the way, we could decide whether or not to infiltrate them based on their level of security. Unfortunately, the Iselia Human Ranch was too far out of our way to conduct a rescue of Chocolat at this point. I didn't like it, but we would have to go back for her later. I only hoped that we could get there before she was imprisoned in one of those awful tanks.
The next seal was inside the lofty Tower of Mana, built in tribute to the Tower of Salvation. It was just across a bay from the Asgard Human Ranch. We circled around the inlet and approached the tower early in the day, determined to reach the seal as quickly as possible. Once inside, we had to split into two groups in order to reach the top. I found myself walking up a steep spiraling staircase with Sheena and Genis.
Bored, I turned to the summoner and decided to make an effort at conversation. "So what's Tethe'alla like?"
A proud smile lit her face. "It's very technologically advanced compared to here. We use magitechnology, for one thing."
Genis looked up in shock. "Really? That's amazing! It's all been lost over here!"
"That's because this world is in decline. You don't have access to enough mana to use magitechnology anymore." She laughed a little. "I must admit: I can't imagine living here. Everything is so primitive. Not that that's bad!" she hastened to add, concerned that we might be offended.
I laughed lightly. "Don't worry about it. I'm rather jealous myself. I keep trying to imagine what life is like on your side, but I bet that nothing I think of even comes close."
"Maybe when we talk to this Remiel guy and he gives us a solution to the mana problem we'll also find a way to connect the two worlds. Then you could come see Tethe'alla for yourself. I'm sure you guys would love it. Especially Raine. Her intellect really is wasted here. She could accomplish so much at the Imperial Research Academy."
"You keep mentioning that place. Do you work there?" I asked.
"Nope. I live in a secret village called Mizuho. We're autonomous from the rest of Tethe'alla. The only reason that I'm involved with the academy is because of my mission to kill Sylvarant's Chosen. Both the king and the leader of Mizuho had to agree that assassination was the best course of action before I was sent here. The monarchy and my village rarely work together because of differences of faith, but we came to a consensus in this matter."
"Differences of faith? Doesn't everyone believe in the church of Martel?"
"You'll find that power corrupts religious figures just as easily as it does the rest of humanity. We in Mizuho prefer to believe that religion is a personal affair, not something to be gilded and ornamented with meaningless ritual and pomp. We also don't base our entire lives around our faith, like the rest of Tethe'alla does. In matters of state, the Pope has the final say, more often than not. We don't like the thought of so much power resting in one man's hands."
"Hey Sheena? I've been wondering about something. Will you get in trouble for failing to assassinate Colette?"
Her expression turned troubled. "I really don't know. I just hope they'll understand once I explain what I've seen."
I felt bad for turning the conversation grim. I made an effort to change the subject. "You certainly seem to know a lot about politics," I observed.
She allowed herself to be diverted. "Yeah well, I didn't want to walk into this mission blind. And Mizuho promotes a high level of education for all its residents. How about you? What was your schooling like?"
Genis snickered loudly. I shot him a glare while I answered. "We didn't have a school in Iselia until five years ago when Genis and Professor Raine came. She started teaching us in exchange for a house in town for them to live in."
"My sister is really smart," Genis added. "She taught herself everything she knows."
"So you've only had five years of education?!" Sheena stared at me, aghast.
"Hey! Don't look at me like that. Not all of us grew up in high-tech hidden villages!"
"I can't believe that you just admitted to being an ignorant hick!" Genis cackled.
"Oh, shut up. We can't all be prodigies," I grumbled.
We lapsed into companionable silence and continued up the stairs. We met up with the others in a room at the top of the stairs. They stood in front of a glowing platform, apparently having been there for a while already.
"Sorry for the wait," I apologized, joining them in front of the transporter.
"Shall we continue?" Kratos suggested. Colette nodded firmly and led the way onto the platform.
The battle against the guardian of the seal was demanding. The horse-like creature used its massive, feathered wings to beat furious gusts of wind in our direction, knocking us off balance. Its hooves were hard as diamonds, and not at all pleasant to be kicked with. Worst of all was the untamed magic that swirled around it, lashing out indiscriminately. Kratos and I were in the frontlines, taking the brunt of the beast's attacks so that Colette and Genis could cast their spells unscathed. Kratos and I worked flawlessly together, innumerable sparring sessions causing us to be able to predict the other's moves and act in concert. We dashed to the monster side by side, working together seamlessly. Despite the guardian's strength, it stood little chance against our combined assault. We defeated the beast without complications, the victory restoring some of the self-confidence that I'd lost after being nearly killed in the Asgard Human Ranch. I felt smugly proud of Kratos and my unfaltering performance.
Colette began to pray at the altar, and we waited eagerly for Lord Remiel to arrive. I noticed Sheena looking tense as she stood at the back of our group. I wondered if she was trying to stay out of sight of the angel.
"Your journey has been long. You have done well to reach this far, Colette, the Chosen one!" Remiel's voice boomed.
"Thank you… Lord Remiel."
"You have taken yet another step down the path to becoming an angel, yet you seem anxious."
She looked up at him determinedly. This was the moment of truth. "Lord Remiel, I have learned recently about the existence of another world. I know that it competes with Sylvarant for the supply of mana, so that one world is always suffering while the other flourishes. Please, tell me what I can do!"
The angel's face was impassive as he gazed down at her. "All will be revealed once you have completed the angel transformation. The time of the World Regeneration is almost upon us. Rejoice! The path to Tower of Salvation is open!"
"Wait! Lord Remiel!"
"Go to the Tower of Salvation and offer your prayers of regeneration. Then, you will be able to climb the stairway of heaven and become a true angel. Make me proud, my daughter." Then he was gone.
"… I will," she said softly, then turned to face us. "I'm sorry, Sheena. Just wait a little longer, okay? He said that he'd tell me what to do at the Tower."
"It's fine," she replied, but I noticed the nervous edge to her voice.
I went to her and touched her shoulder. "Don't worry. We won't forget about Tethe'alla."
She gave me a tiny smile. "Thanks for the reassurance. I trust you guys."
I watched the sun sinking below the horizon, my feet dangling off the edge of the roof. The town of Hima was bathed in fiery orange light from the spectacular sunset, and I leaned back on my arms, closing my eyes to savor the soft warmth of the dying light on my skin. We had separated upon reaching the small outpost, each of us desiring time to think about what awaited us the following day. There was a strange feeling in the air. Remiel had told us to 'rejoice,' but the atmosphere was charged with trepidation. We had journeyed so far and for so long that it seemed odd to think that we had reached the end.
"Hey."
I opened my eyes to the sight of Sheena standing over me. She dropped down to sit beside me and leaned back as well.
"Gorgeous sunset," she remarked.
"Yeah." I decided that sharing my thoughts with another person might help. "Hey, Sheena? What do you think will happen once Colette becomes an angel?"
"I hope that she'll be able to do something for Tethe'alla of course, but that's not what you meant, is it?"
I sighed; a long expulsion of air that did nothing to ease my anxiety. "I don't know why, but I feel like we're hanging on the edge of something big right now."
"The world Regeneration is big."
"I can't explain it right," I said testily.
"No, I know what you're trying to say. I didn't train these ninja instincts for nothing. Something's coming. I just don't know what we can do about it, or if we should even try."
"I'm glad it's not just me, then."
She smiled at me and punched my shoulder teasingly. After a few moments, she spoke up again, quietly. "I don't know why, but talking to you, even about inconsequential stuff, makes me feel better. I guess you're just a soothing person to be around."
I was floored. "Me? Are you sure you don't mean Colette? I'm the loud, immature one, remember?"
She looked surprised. "Immature? From what I've seen, you can be rash and emotional sometimes, especially when it comes to the Desians, but you're not immature."
"There're more than a couple of people nearby who'd be quick to argue that point," I laughed.
"They don't see you very clearly, then, do they?" The look she sent me was shrewd.
I gave her an innocent grin, strangely pleased. "Anyway. I was wondering if we'll still travel together afterwards. This whole group, I mean. Kratos was only paid to guard Colette during the Regeneration, so I really don't know about him. I can't tell if he actually cares about the Human Ranches enough to help us strike back against them once this is over."
"Yeah," she agreed pensively, "he's a tough one to read. But I think he cares about you."
"Now I'm sure that you're seeing things!"
"No, seriously! He spends at least an hour with you every day to spar. Do you really think he'd devote that much time to someone he didn't like at least a little bit? Even if it was just about improving your swordsmanship, a few days a week would be enough."
I stopped to think about it. She was right, of course, but I had avoided thinking about my relationship with Kratos in anything other than vague terms. He was a fellow member of our little entourage, and not an altogether disagreeable guy. He was also a swordsman, and practiced with me out of necessity. End of story. The thought him favoring me above the rest of our group was slightly unsettling.
I stayed on the roof with Sheena until the sun slipped completely out of sight. I left her silently, unwilling to disturb the meditative silence into which she'd fallen. I headed toward the entrance of the inn, hoping that I'd be able to get some sleep that night. I rounded the corner of the building and caught sight of none other than Kratos, leaning against the wall and watching the stars come out. I wondered if he'd been able to hear us talking on the roof. Feeling uncharacteristically shy, I planned to pass him without making an effort at conversation. But when I drew level with him, he held out a hand to halt me.
"Are you prepared for tomorrow?"
Not really feeling inclined toward chatting, I replied with a curt, "yes."
I started to walk once more, but again he stopped me. "Don't forget what I've told you. Strategy is key. You can't continue to allow your emotions to rule you in battle. If you're headstrong and overconfident it could cost you your life."
I was understandably startled. What had prompted this torrent of criticism and advice?
His intent gaze scorched into me, and I couldn't seem to tear my eyes from his.
"Don't throw your life away, Lloyd."
"What, exactly, are you trying to tell me?" I asked slowly.
"Exactly what I say. Be cautious, and chose your battles wisely. There are some fights that no one can win."
He finally released me from his stare, returning to his previous position against the wall. It was obviously a dismissal. Extremely troubled, I slowly entered the inn. As I closed the door behind me, I caught movement out of the corner of my eye. I whirled to face it, heart pounding. Raine stood a few feet away, something akin to disappointment on her face. I inwardly cursed my paranoia and tried to calm myself.
"Colette wanted to see you, but she's asleep now."
Something about her tone made me feel as if I should be apologizing. I restrained myself, wondering why everyone was acting so strangely today. "I'll talk to her in the morning, then."
"Where were you?"
"I was talking to Sheena for most of the time. Why?"
Her disapproving expression only intensified. "I see," she said simply. Then she left without a further word.
Mystified, I retreated to my bed, hoping for sleep.
I rode with Sheena to the Tower of Salvation. Her hands on my shoulders were soft and very warm despite the chill wind that cut into us with every beat of the dragon's wings. Her solid presence at my back helped slightly to alleviate the dread I felt weighing me down.
Then there was betrayal, and with it disillusionment. I felt everything spinning out my control as I stared helplessly into Kratos' glacial eyes, more foreign and unreachable than I'd ever seen them. A thousand denials screamed in my head, but all I could utter was a disbelieving, 'no.'
We had been fooled from the beginning. I had stupidly thought that I was the master of deception, but now I saw that my childish game paled before him. My friend, my mentor, my companion, had played me from the start. And now Colette –Colette- was lost to me. He r dead, empty eyes stared unblinkingly before her. I had so stupidly gone on about what we'd do after the world regeneration, and no one had told me that it was a fucking suicide mission!
There was something wrong with me. I could see Kratos' lips moving, and I knew that Genis and Raine and Sheena were arguing with him desperately, but all I could hear was a deafening howl. Kratos drew that familiar, blood-stained blade, and I mechanically responded in kind, the action unconscious from countless hours of sparring. Every meeting of our swords sent vibrations through my bones, jarring them. We fought Remiel, and Kratos, and Yggdrasil, but it was just too much, and we hadn't stood a chance in the first place. There are some fights that no one can win. Suddenly enraged, I landed a blow against Yggdrasil's conjured barrier that shattered it in an explosion of sparks. I saw his eyes widen fractionally, and knew the second he began to consider me a threat.
Unwilling to allow the battle to continue any longer, the leader of Cruxis and the Desians suddenly swung an arm toward me. A ray of white light caught me full in the chest, throwing me back. Instead of colliding with the wall, though, I felt the edge of one of the wide windows scrape my shoulder as I tumbled through. The last thing I saw was Kratos' wide, unexplainably panicked eyes before I was freefalling, the wind howling furiously in my ears.
From every direction, inky black shadows raced to encircle me. The faithful, long-absent shadows had never truly left me at all. A multitude of voices rang out around me in unison, shrieking bargains and remonstrations.
"We told you, stubborn boy!"
"You aren't strong enough alone! You need the power we can give you!"
"You'll never be able to save the Chosen and achieve vengeance on that traitor without our help!"
"We can give you what you need!"
I was more than halfway to the ground now, and the shadows were frantically swarming around me, apparently powerless to do anything. I could feel blood seeping from the wide wound across my chest, soaking through my clothes.
"Tell me… what to do…" I coughed.
The multitude of voices fell silent, then a single one spoke up. "Agree to learn from us and work alongside us for two years of your life, and we will give you the power that you desire."
As I fell into the great chasm at the base of the tower, I closed my eyes and weakly said, "I agree."
As I hit the ground, the shadows rushed into my body, thousands of voices laughing in triumph.