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4 - "Collide"
New York, New York
Nighthawk Diner
12:45 p.m.
18 - September
(Recap from last chapter)
Maya stiffened a yawn and zoned out while half-listening to Smackle and Lucas's conversation. The two were discussing colleges and which school was better. Since she had been up since six, the night was finally getting to her. She propped her face up with her hand and was almost asleep until she noticed two figures enter the diner.
The figures belonged to two of her friends: Riley and Zay. They were talking with one another quietly and when Maya made eye contact with Riley, Riley and Zay waved and walked closer. Maya nervously glanced around the table. Riley and Zay hadn't recognized Lucas as his back faced her direction. Riley and Zay didn't know Lucas was back in town. Riley and Zay didn't know that everyone else knew that Lucas was back in town. Riley and Zay didn't know a lot of things and things were about to get interesting.
"Riley! Zay!" Maya said loudly, making the group aware of their presence. This was the first time in months Maya had even talked to her bestfriend in person. Was she feeling nervous because she was seeing her friend or because of Lucas's presence?
Quickly, Maya looked around the table at her friends. Lucas didn't dare look back and he stared at his food quietly while Smackle shared uneasy glances with her and Farkle.
Maya was the first to respond. She stood up and approached the girl halfway across the diner, pulling her into a tight hug.
"Maya," Riley said excitedly and embraced the hug. She hadn't hugged her friend in so long. She still smelled of the same Apple shampoo that she had been using for years.
"I've missed you," Riley admitted truthfully in their hug.
In response, Maya nodded her head. Oh she missed her friend too. In that embrace, it was almost as if nothing had changed.
"Zay," Maya pulled into a hug with her and Riley. She was trying to draw out the situation as much as possible. Maybe, by the grace of Gods, Riley and Zay would turn around and leave. Maybe all they were doing was stopping in to say hi to her and leaving.
Riley and Zay withdrew from the hug. "It's good to see you Maya," Zay nodded his head at her.
"So what are you two doing?" Maya stood in front of the two, stalling.
"We wanted to see you. We left the party to come here," Riley smiled through her teeth. Maya gave her a quick look of worry, but brushed it over with a smile.
"Riley insisted," Zay laughed and withdrew his arm that was slung over Riley's back.
Riley glanced around the diner and suddenly she actually felt like smiling. It was almost as if nothing in her life had changed and the live-altering event that occurred an hour ago never happened. She was going to do what she did best: smile and pretend everything was okay. Compared to the earlier events, Riley had completely masked over her feelings and replaced them with a happier exterior. Riley's eyes wandered over the booth where her friends were sitting. Farkle and Smackle were staring at her and Zay. They gave her a smile and Riley acted upon their facial expressions.
"Farkle, Smackle," Riley excitedly exclaimed. She hadn't even recognized the other figure sitting next to them.
Riley skipped over to the booth as Zay and Maya walked behind her. Maya stared nervously at Farkle and Smackle across the diner. She was not prepared for what was going to happen next.
When Riley approached the booth, she was about to greet her friends until her eyes shifted focus on the figure sitting next to them. The smile on her face fell and was replaced with a look of discordance.
She recognized the figure all too well. From his shaggy blond hair to his muscular build to his breath-taking emerald green eyes. She took a step back when he glanced up at her.
As Lucas looked up at her for the first time in two years, his heart skipped a beat. She stood in front of him, dressed in her blue and red cheerleading outfit. The girl was even better looking up close. Chocolate waves hung halfway down her back, held in place with a series of bobby pins and clips. A few freckles graced her cheeks and her uniform contrasted sharply against her pale skin. His eyes met hers; Brown was far too simple of a color. Perhaps, amber was a better color. There were golden brown, blue, and green specks blended together.
"Riley," Lucas was the first to speak. His voice was eager, but hesitant.
His voice was deafening to Riley's ears. It was the same throaty voice that she was once loved. It was the same voice that she grew to hate.
"Lucas," Riley slowly said. She had to force his name out of her mouth. As she spoke slowly, Zay appeared behind her with Maya. He glanced nervously around the table, trying to assess the situation. It appeared that everyone knew that Lucas was back in town but he and Riley.
"What are you doing here?" Zay's voice was curt and sharp. He asked the daring question that Riley could not find the voice to ask.
"I invited him here," Maya spoke softly. She took her seat next to Farkle and stared at her two friends. Giving his friend an extra boost of courage, Farkle rested his hand on Maya's knee and gave it a light squeeze. Maya removed one of her hands off the table and placed it on top of Farkle's. She squeezed tightly, unsure of what was going to happen next.
"Do you want to sit?" Maya asked the two.
Zay and Riley shared glances with one another. The two spoke their own internal language. After a moment of awkward silence, Riley shrugged her shoulders and muttered a "sure." After all, she was curious to hear Lucas's explanation as to what he was doing.
"I'm going to order food Riles. Do you want fries?" Zay asked. He separated himself form Lucas and the rest of the group and turned around to approach the diner counter.
"Please," Riley muttered as she pulled two chairs from a nearby table. She wasn't for sure if she should sit next to Lucas or Zay should. Because Zay left Vanessa and the party to be with her, because Zay was always there for her, because Zay understood her like nobody else, Riley decided to take one for the team. She sat down next to Lucas and crossed her arms over her body. She closed off all body language from Lucas and the rest of her friends.
"Riley. You looked great out there tonight. I'm surprised you were a flyer. You haven't been a flyer in so long, normally you're a tumbler," Farkle tried changing the conversation away from Lucas's appearance.
"The flyer was injured, so I had to do it," Riley's response was short. Farkle couldn't tell if it was because of Lucas or because of something else. He eyed her carefully, trying to figure out what she was hiding.
"So," Lucas was the first to speak up. He glanced at Riley's motive to sit next to him and he was faced with a small hint of hope.
Riley was going to respond until a high-pitched shriek entered the diner. Riley knew that voice anywhere. Yet, she still turned her head. Her eyes landed on Missy with her arms wrapped around Charlie's waist. He was smiling at Missy until he saw Riley. He stopped in his place and Missy turned to see what made her boyfriend abruptly stop. The rest of the football team and cheereladers that were with Missy and Charlie blended in with the background. Riley only noticed Charlie and Missy.
Riley turned her head slightly and saw the looks that were on her friends' faces. Based upon Smackle and Farkle's look of worry, she knew that they knew about Charlie and Missy. Maya looked confused and she couldn't read Lucas's facial expression. She wasn't even for sure what Lucas knew about her. All form of communication ended between them when he had moved away.
It was all too much for her to cope with. Charlie continued to stare at Riley and the rest of the football team grew quiet until all eyes in the diner floated between Riley and Charlie and Missy.
The world slowly closed in around Riley and suddenly she couldn't breath. With Lucas on her one side and Charlie and Missy on the other side of the diner, she needed to leave. In a quick motion, she pushed the chair she was sitting in out and stood up. Quickly, she threw money onto the table and muttered, "I'm no longer hungry. Someone eat my fries."
She shut the world out and forced her way out of the diner. She heard someone yelling her name, but she was so focused on leaving the diner and getting away from her past that she didn't know who was calling her name. Once she exited the diner, she rounded the corner and ran as fast as she could. Her long legs glided across the sidewalk and she continued to run. She ran through the streets of New York and continued going until she saw a small coffee shop that was opened 24 hours.
She realized the coffee shop all too well. Quickly, she ducked into the shop and took a deep breath to catch her own and wondered over to a booth tucked away from the corner. She closed her eyes and leaned against the wall and practiced breathing techniques.
"It's going to be okay," Riley told herself over and over again.
...
(Same time Riley is exiting the diner)
The same shriek that peeked Riley's interest also peeked everyone else around their table. All heads followed Riley's and turned towards the entrance of the diner. In the herd of cheerleaders and football players, stood Charlie and Missy. Charlie's arms were wrapped around Missy's waist and her neck rested in the crook of his chest.
Maya's eyebrows wrinkled in confusion and she watched the look of defeat and anguish flash across Riley's face. Maya watched as Riley looked around the table, quickly reading her friend's facial expressions. Riley clenched her fists and bit her lip, refusing the tears that were welding in the corner of her eyes.
It was that moment that Maya realized she had no idea who Riley was anymore. When did her and Charlie even break up? When did Charlie and Missy begin dating? Her friend needed her now more than ever. Maya reached out to grab Riley's arm for comfort, but Riley was too quick. She was already half way across the diner, pushing herself through the crowd of people.
It was Lucas's voice that was the first to speak. He yelled Riley's name and he climbed out of the booth to follow her. However, she was already gone by the time he made it to the door. Maya then took notice that Zay had already dashed from the counter and was quick on Riley's trail. He was a good friend. He was the friend to her that she should have been.
He had been there for Riley. He knew her insecurities. He knew her problems. Maya knew nothing about her best friend.
"Maya," Farkle read his friend's thoughts and reached out to give her comfort. "Please don't," She breathed and withdrew from his touch. "When did this happen?"
"I think that is a story for another day. We should go find her," Farkle and Smackle climbed out of the booth after Maya and pushed through the hoard of drunk athletes in the diner until they were standing outside. Zay turned his head around the location, trying to predict the way in which Riley would have ran while Lucas stood frozen in motion.
"I have no idea where she went," Zay stopped turning in circles and faced his friends. .
"She couldn't have gone far," Maya breathed.
"Riley can run," Zay trailed. "She's quick and she has a lot of emotions right now. She was gone out of the diner before I could even move from the counter."
"Where would she go?" Maya asked.
"Her vehicle is here so she will come back," Farkle noted.
"Maybe Riley just needs her space?" Lucas murmured. "I've known Riley since we were toddlers. She runs when she needs her space."
"Oh and is that your excuse too?" Zay spat. He stared at his once best friend with disgust. "You needed space too, so you ran?"
"Zay," Lucas sighed.
"Save it," Zay turned his body away from his friend. "I'm going to go and find my friend."
"Let me come with you," Lucas suggested. He knew he couldn't make up for the past, but maybe he could start by making up for the present and the future.
"Riley is going through a lot right now. She doesn't need this... you," Zay pointed his hand at Lucas.
"Quite frankly, I don't think any of us need this," Zay pointed again at Lucas. He sharply turned his body away form his friends.
...
It had been over an hour and Riley sat in the booth with her knees to her chest. She hugged them tightly as she let the tears fall. She had told the employee that she was fine and she just needed to be alone for awhile. He nodded his and accepted her plea. She had been so lost in her own dismay that she hadn't even heard the coffee shop door open.
"Are you okay?" A masculine voice spoke over her.
Riley looked up from the booth table and her eyes gazed across two coffees that had been placed in front of her. Using all of her strength, she slid out of the booth and stood up. Her eyes met with another pair of brown eyes, those of which were similar to hers.
"I don't know," Riley's raspy voice whispered.
"Come here," His voice was comforting and soothing just like she remembered.
"Josh, what are you doing here?" Riley breathed into his chest. She held on tightly as he did the same.
"Zay called me. He was worried. I figured I'd find you here. Want to tell me what is going on?" He asked as she pulled away from their embrace.
"A lot," Riley admitted. "I don't even know where to begin," She said in defeat.
"Let's sit, I've got time. Let's drink this coffee and act like intellectuals at 2:30 in the morning while you tell me what is going on," Josh answered with a laugh.
"I don't know who I am anymore," Riley folded her hands together and rested them on the table. She heaved a deep sigh and stared at her uncle. After weeks of silence and avoiding the conversation, she was finally talking.
"What do you mean?" He probed around for a further answer.
"Charlie broke up with me for my best friend," Riley's face wrinkled into a sour look.
"Maya?" Josh interjected. His eyes wrinkled in confusion. Maya better not be dating Charlie Gardner. He then thought to himself, why would Maya go for a guy like Charlie Gardner?
A look of annoyance flashed across Riley's face, "No, Missy," She corrected him.
"Oh," Josh mumbled. His heart slowed down and he nodded his head in confirmation. He then questioned to himself, when did Riley and this girl Missy become friends?
"Three weeks ago, Charlie broke up with me. I wondered what I could have possibly done wrong to ruin our relationship. Tonight at the party, this boy named Alex told me that Charlie broke up with me for Missy. Everyone knew about Charlie and Missy but me. Even my friends knew about this. Zay knew about this. Farkle knew about this. Smackle knew about this. Why would they keep this from me? I've been miserable for weeks," Riley buried her face into her hands. Her hair fell over the table and she shook her head for awhile.
Josh rubbed his forehead and thought of an appropriate yet wise answer to say. "I'm sure they wanted to tell you Riley. Sometimes being honest and truthful isn't easy, especially when it means you are practically going to kill your best friend."
"I would have told them," Riley insisted.
"Would you have Riley?" Josh stared at her in the eyes.
"Yes!" She exclaimed loudly.
"Remember when I broke up with Maya? We tried dating, but it was just too weird. She was too young for me and there was a large maturity gap between us. Not to mention, I felt like a creep. You knew I was going too, but you didn't tell her because you didn't want to hurt her," Josh bluntly stated.
Riley opened her mouth to say something, but closed it. Josh was right. She knew that he didn't see a future with Maya at that moment and that he wanted to end the relationship. Well, whatever small relationship they even started. She acted surprised when Maya told her and never told Maya that she knew about their breakup.
"You're right," Riley breathed. "I shouldn't be mad. It's hard admitting the truth to your friends, especially when you know it's going to hurt them."
"Riley, you need your friends now more than ever. You are going through your biggest life change within the next year," Josh reminded her. "College applications are coming up, your emotions and feelings are changing. This is your last year of lasts and also your year of firsts. You need to make it count."
"Maya and I haven't talked in months," Riley grumbled. "I don't even know where our friendship stands. Since she moved to the other school, we haven't talked really. I don't know whose fault it is. Maybe partially mine... partially hers."
"Maybe you should focus on fixing some of your relationships. Look Riley, I don't know what your relationships are like right now... they sound pretty chaotic. Maybe you should spend the next few days focusing on just yourself. As you focus on yourself, then focus on mending your relationships. I promise you in a few months-next year, none of this will really matter. What will really matter is what you look back on and choose to see. If you shut out your friends, you're going to regret it. I know you and I know you will."
Riley nodded her head and listened to her Uncle's word. As she listened, she brought the hot coffee to her lips.
"Pumpkin spice," she said with a small smile.
"Of course. It's your favorite," Josh smiled at his niece.
"Josh what do you do when you feel lost?" Riley asked.
"Lost?" Josh questioned as he wrinkled his eyebrows.
"I've never felt more lost in my entire life than I do now. I don't even know who Riley is anymore. I used to be so sure of myself, but I've never felt more self-conscious than I have over these past few weeks."
Josh closed his eyes and thought to himself. "Honestly, Riley I'm lost right now."
"That's reassuring," The young adult muttered.
Josh responded to her sarcasm with a laugh. "Listen to me Riley. It's okay to be lost. It's okay to not know who you are or what you want. These are the pivotal moments where you learn who you are. Everyone goes through a lost period. Everyone goes through many of them actually. As long as you can find your way to happiness, that is all that matters. It doesn't matter how long you are lost, it matters how you respond to being lost."
"What do you mean?" She asked curiously.
"If you let this breakup get to you, you are going to destroy yourself and your spirit in the process. If you focus on being you and healing, then you will find your way. So what Charlie broke up with you and left you for Missy. We both know you are the obvious choice. Please don't let this ruin your thunder. You have a lot of life left in you and don't let anyone take any moment away from you." Josh answered proudly.
"Josh, It's even more complicated," Riley admitted to her uncle. He sat in silence and drank his coffee, waiting for her to continue.
"Lucas is back in town," Riley spoke in a more serious tone. She looked up from her cup of coffee and stared at her uncle. "He was at the diner tonight sitting with Maya, Farkle, and Smackle."
"Lucas Friar?" Josh drew from his memory. It was hard to forget a guy like Lucas. He had been a part of Riley's life so long, that it was hard to separate the two from one another. Most of their childhood memories consist of each other.
Riley nodded her head. "I found out about Missy and Charlie tonight at the party. They were making out in the hot tub. After I humiliated myself and ran through the party, I went outside and Zay followed me. I told him I wanted to see Maya so he took me to the diner. When we got to the diner, Lucas was sitting with in the booth with everyone else. Zay and I were completely blindsided."
"Riley," Josh started to say, but was interrupted by Riley.
"Once again my friends knew something and didn't tell me. I can forgive them for not telling me about Charlie, but I cannot forgive them for not telling me about Lucas."
"How long has he been back in town?" Josh asked. He knew how important Lucas was to Riley. He could see the emotional despair in her eyes.
"I don't know," She paused. "I don't know because they don't tell me anything. And for what, to spare my feelings?" Riley cried out. She slammed her hands onto the table. I just want to scream at the world for making life hard."
"So do so," Josh encouraged her.
Riley opened her mouth to yell, but she realized the setting she was in. "Maybe another night," She smiled softly as Josh shook his head at his niece.
"Senior year is supposed to be the best year of my life and so far it's been the worst. It's been one hurdle over another and I don't know how much more heartache I can take," Riley answered truthfully. "My heart hurts so bad, I don't even know how I am breathing at this very moment."
Josh let out a small a laugh. Even though he was a few years older than his cousin, oh he understood. He understood what it felt like to have your heart ripped out of your chest. He understood what it felt like to hurt while breathing. He understood more than she realized.
"Riley," Josh's voice was soft and sympathetic. "The worst is almost over. Keep pulling through because as it goes on, it will get better. Don't let anyone walk all over you. You're beautiful, smart, and have the world. Embrace yourself. You're going to hurt and that's okay. It's okay to cry. It's okay to feel emotions. It's okay because you're human. At the end of the day, we are all human," Josh finished for her.
"Josh, I'll be okay right?" Riley searched his eyes for any flicker of doubt. When she didn't see any moment of contention, she gave a relieved sigh.
"Yes. Riley you will be okay," Josh leaned across the table and touched her arm. "You have me and you have your family. That right there is the most important thing in the world. Everything else is just minor," Josh reassured her.
Riley took a moment of silence to reflect back on Josh's words. Josh was right. She shouldn't spend the rest of her senior year angry and upset. If she could survive this, she could survive anything. For now, she needed to focus on herself and what she wanted.
After talking about her problems, she felt better. Josh was the one person who she felt completely comfortable and honest with. A burden had been lifted off of her chest and she then shifted the conversation in his direction. Together, the two spent the next two hours talking about everything and anything. Riley was grateful to have someone like Josh in her life.
Riley let out a long yawn and rubbed her eyes. She hadn't realized how emotionally drained she had felt until now.
"Let me walk you back to the diner," Josh said after he noticed his niece's jaded behavior.
"My parents are going to kill me," Riley sighed when she glanced at her phone. It was 4:48 a.m.
"I informed them I was with you... Don't worry about that," Josh smiled. He placed his hand on her back and led her out of the coffee shop. Riley walked along the streets of New York with a small smile on her face as she stared up at the night sky. The two walked in silence and within that silence, she knew she would be okay.
And there you have it, Josh Matthews to the rescue :)
I really enjoyed writing this moment between Josh and Riley.
Thank you for reading and I hope you leave a review down below!