Chapter Four:

Dare to Die?

Carlisle Cullen

The roads sped by at incredibly fast speeds as I drove my Mercedes along the freeway to Bella's house. She had left my office as an absolute wreak, both emotionally and physically. I felt incredibly guilty for causing the massive shift in emotions earlier, and felt it was only right to go to her myself instead of waiting another week.

Bella had left a small keychain in my office when she had fled, in such a state of mental pain that she didn't notice when the charm had fallen off her backpack and onto the floor. I hadn't even noticed it, too involved with Bella to see the charm before it was too late to stop her.

Normally, I would have waited until our next meeting to give it back to her, but I also wanted to check on her.

It wasn't like I thought she would try to harm herself again…okay, maybe it was. Bella had a history of attempted suicides that I did not like to think about when combined with the fact that she seemed extremely depressed. She had been losing a lot of weight, she looked pale, face drawn, and I would be lying if I said I wasn't concerned.

If it wasn't for that one fact, I would have thought we had made progress. She had finally opened up, after years of silence. I could tell she was relieved that at least someone was looking past the cover and into the book, and I was glad I could help. It was my job after all, and I had also formed an interesting connection with Bella over the course of the three weeks she had been in Forks. I had come to think of her almost like I would one of my daughters, and the fact that Alice had accepted her only made the connection stronger.

I was positive that no one in my family—even Edward, my lovely mind-reader of a son—knew about Bella seeing me for treatment. They all knew what I did, sure, but not who I saw. I took doctor-patient confidentiality to the extreme, given my strange circumstances. I didn't even think about my patients outside of work if I could help it.

I glanced at the keychain. It was resting on top of the dashboard, the little green frog barely bouncing at all as I drove over the bumpy road that my car handled so well. The frog was obviously handmade and only an inch tall. It was made of several different colors of green and entirely of tiny beads. It was a cute, three-dimensional charm that I suspected Bella had made when she was younger. The little eyes were black in color, and I smiled a little to myself. I was sure that Bella would like to have this little trinket back, and it might even make her feel better that I had come personally to give it back.

I turned onto her street, only to realize that a police cruiser was behind me. My first instinct was pull over, that is until I realized that the sirens weren't flashing and it was Bella's father, Charlie Swan, behind the wheel. Fortunately, I had slowed down as I had entered the residential streets and together we pulled up to the brick driveway of his and Bella's house. I parked my car on the street and pulled the keys from the ignition, taking the frog keychain in one hand as I stepped out of my black car and stood swiftly, closing the car door behind me. Since we were in such a small town, I felt no need to lock my car as I put my keys in my jacket pocket. I was still in my white lab coat, having forgotten to take it off in my haste to finish my shift and get to Bella's house.

Before I had fully gotten out of the car, a strong and familiar scent had floated over to me; nearly knocking me over with the amount of surprise it sent through me at it being there in the first place—Edward.

The scent was fading, which meant he had just been here, but maybe left an hour or so ago.

Which led to the question, why was Edward—of all people!—hanging around a human's house? I would expect that of Alice or Emmett, but not of Edward. He hated humans—to him they were cruel and insignificant. Maybe he had read Bella's mind and a spark of curiosity had ignited within him? Perhaps he had found something that wasn't all malice and hate within a human's mind? It sounded like something Edward would do—go to a human's home to study them. I would have to have a word with him later. It wasn't proper for him to do such a thing as spy on a harmless human, nor was it right to violate a human's privacy by doing such a thing.

It wasn't like I thought that Edward would actually listen to me and stop spying, unless he wanted to, but at least I would feel better knowing that I had tried.

Charlie looked at me in surprise. It wasn't quite sundown yet, and fortunately the cloud cover was still thick overhead, so I wouldn't have to worry about the sun. It also meant that Charlie could clearly see it was his daughter's doctor that stepped out of the fancy black Mercedes. I ran the hand that wasn't holding the keychain through my blond hair, a habit that Edward had picked up from me in the 20's.

To be honest, I was a bit scared of this human—me, a vampire, frightened of a mere human! It was laughable. But I really didn't want to tell him about why I was really here. Hello, Mr. Swan. Why am I here? Oh, well, I just wanted to make sure Bella is okay, after all, she just told me that she was raped and abused repeatedly by her step-father, James, earlier. Would I like to stay for coffee? Sure, why not? Yes, that would go over very nicely with this police chief.

Charlie walked briskly over to me; face a jumble of emotions, confusion the foremost one. "Dr. Cullen," he said, voice mirroring his confusion, "what are you doing here?"

I took a deep breath, preparing myself for the semi-lie I was about to tell. "Oh, please, call me Carlisle. I'm just here to check up on Bella and give her keychain back."

"Why? Did she not come to your office today?" Charlie's voice was wavering between confusion and something else I couldn't recognize at the moment. I didn't spare any thought to it.

"Oh, no, no, no," I said hastily. "She came, but as she was leaving she dropped this," I held up the keychain for Charlie to see in the fading light. His eyes lit in recognition, and he nodded. I continued, "I just wanted to give it back as soon as possible. It is quite the cute little thing, and I thought she would miss it."

"Yes, yes," Charlie said distractedly. "Why don't you come in? Stay for the game maybe?"

I smiled, "Sure, why not?" I almost grimaced at my choice of words. At least I wouldn't be staying for coffee.

Charlie and I walked up to the porch together, Charlie explaining what teams were playing as we reached the door. He opened the front door, unlocked like most doors were in this residential town. The sight that met me was enough to make my heart start beating again.

Charlie gasped, mouth opening and eyes widening. My reaction was exactly the same as I took in the sight before me quickly. From the front door you had a clear view of the living room down the hall and the stairs to the right. And, hanging from a rope above the stairs, was Bella.

Her hair was shorn and jet black, reminding me briefly of Alice, before my mind really comprehended the situation. The rope was tight around her throat, her lips and face starting to take on a bluish tint. Her bare, pale feet dangled above the bottom step, her body swinging slightly. That meant that she had just done this. Her faint heartbeat finally reached my ears, and suddenly I was interrupted from my thoughts by Charlie's cry.

"Bella!"

His tone was full of pain and fright, and with that one word my body became unfrozen and I sprung forward, dropping the beaded frog where it hit the floor with a soft clack. I surged forward, grabbing Bella just above her knees and lifting her up, shouting for Charlie to call 911 and to get a knife.

With one arm, I supported Bella's incredibly light frame, trying to prevent her from continued strangulation, for clearly she hadn't broken her neck if her lips and skin were turning blue. She was unconscious, and her heart was fading from me, her breath non-existent. Faintly, I could hear Charlie in the kitchen frantically explaining the situation to someone on the phone and where he lived.

With my free hand, I reached up to loosen the rope as much as I could. As it was, I could barely reach the rope with the tips of my fingers, and so I went back to holding Bella up until Charlie came back with a knife. My mind was racing, wishing that Charlie would suddenly have vampire speed to make him move faster. Bella's heart was getting fainter and fainter as each second passed, and I was afraid to think of what might happen if it continued on its path to ceasing her life.

It seemed so surreal, even as I held Bella up in my arms, that just a minute ago I had been nonchalant and only worrying about the if's. It was obvious that this was my entire fault. She wouldn't have done this if I hadn't pressed her. I had known she was depressed and had allowed her to leave my office in that state. But right now, I had to focus on keeping Bella alive, and then I could beat myself up about it later.

Finally, Charlie rushed out of the kitchen, a large cutting knife in hand, and I said, "Quick, cut her down, her heart is still beating but I don't know how long that is going to last."

Charlie didn't question me, just getting onto the second step and reaching up, sawing at the limp rope with the knife until it was completely severed. As soon as she was free, I was adjusting my grip on Bella's waist and was lowering her to the wood floor. Once she was down, I started CPR, pressing down onto her chest with my hands and tipping her head back to breathe into her mouth. Her color had not improved, and Charlie tossed away the knife, telling me quickly that an ambulance was on the way. I knew that he wanted to be useful, but there was nothing for him to do—

I was mid-compression when my phone started to buzz in my coat pocket. Charlie immediately grabbed it when I told him, opening it up and putting it to my ear. I asked distractedly, knowing that it had to either be the hospital or one of my family members, "Hello?" Four, five, six.

"Carlisle? I saw something," Alice's voice, distressed and panicky, answered mine across the phone line. "It's Bella—she's going to hang herself, and you've got to get there before it happens—"

"Too late," I grunted, concentrating on my compressions.

"Oh. Oh. Sorry—"

But I had already dropped the phone, the tiny silver mobile clattering to the floor and disconnecting. I tilted Bella's head back and forced air into her lungs, praying that she would start breathing again.

I pulled back, checking her pulse and her breathing quickly for the sake of Charlie, though I didn't need it. She still wasn't breathing, and then I froze briefly before going into a frenzy of motion. Her heart had stopped. Completely and utterly stopped.

I began to compress her chest again, counting aloud now. "One, two, three, four—come on Bella!—eight, nine, ten!" I continued, breathing into Bella's lungs for her again. Finally, when it had been about five times that I had repeated this, I broke away, dry sobbing and angry. "Don't you dare, Bella, don't you dare die on me!"

I brought my fist down onto her chest, hard and directly over her heart. My eyes widened as it stuttered, before starting up in an unsteady rhythm, and I let out a strained laugh as Bella took in a shallow and equally unsteady breath of air. It rattled in her chest, and I let out my own unneeded breath, relieved. I could hear the sirens of the ambulance rounding the corner onto the street and lifted Bella up, carrying her to the door and down the steps, wanting to get her to the hospital as soon as possible. I wouldn't be able to do that again, and, if her heart gave out again, she would probably die.

The red and white vehicle came to a screeching stop in front of the pale yellow house, and the paramedics poured out of the ambulance, pulling out a stretcher for Bella and strapping her down to it. Charlie raced out of the house, slamming the door behind him as he rushed to the ambulance. I got into it with him and watched him as he held Bella's hand and tears poured down his face. He kept mumbling to himself, pleading with Bella to stay with him. I felt almost as if I was intruding on a private moment between the two. Charlie really did love Bella with all his heart and being, and I was starting to think that I loved her just as much.

It was hard not to like someone like Bella. She was kind (if reserved), sweet, beautiful, and a lovely person. I couldn't help loving her; especially after all she had been though. James had been a true monster to be able to do such a thing to her and so heartlessly, with no regret later.

How any human being could do that to someone—it was unimaginable. And yet, it was a very real possibility and something that had happened to so many people, but it somehow seemed worse when I applied the concept to Bella. I had dealt with so many cases of abuse in my career, but what James had done to Bella was unthinkable. Even from what I had just briefly heard, it was horrible, and I shuddered to think of what else he could have done to her. It was surprising that Bella could stand even being around people after that, let alone touching them. But then again, she'd had an aversion to people touching her when she was younger that didn't go away until her mother had sent her to the Mental Institution, where they had worked with her until she could touch people again. I knew she still didn't like anything more than a casual handshake. I was truly blessed with the fact that Bella trusted me enough to let me into her little world.

As the ambulance woke half the town on its way to the hospital, I thought about that. Bella spaced on me so many times, sometimes I wondered if she wasn't quite as unscarred as she appeared to be. In many cases, victims of abuse had created their own worlds inside their head where they could escape reality for just a little while. Maybe Bella had such a place, and just wouldn't tell me.

But this wasn't the time to ponder this, Bella was injured and had almost died, might still die if we didn't take care of her right away. We would need a MRI to check for any brain damage from oxygen-deprivation, X-rays of her neck to see if she had any micro-fractures in her vertebrae, and would also need to hook her up to an IV and a heart monitor.

I noticed for the first time as I watched Charlie that Bella's hands were stained black, probably from the dye she had used on her hair, and I gazed upon her face sadly. I knew that Bella wouldn't care about the dye—to her it would show exactly how dirty she really was, even if the rest of us didn't agree. Her face looked as if she was sleeping, though it wasn't peaceful. It looked as if she was suffering from a vivid nightmare, her features contorted into a mask of fright and pain, her neck deeply bruised from the rope that had constricted around it.

The ambulance come up to the back entrance of the hospital, coming to a sudden stop, and I helped to unload Bella from the metal cage-like thing, running in and explaining the situation to the other doctors and interns. They rushed her off to get a MRI, and I went with them as Charlie went to the payphone at the front desk, not allowed to follow.

All I could think, as I helped to lift Bella onto the table, was how sorry I felt for Charlie.

Sorry it's so short. I tried to get it to be longer, but the two parts just won't go together. The next chapter is also going to be from Carlisle's POV, though hopefully only a part of it. I promise the next chapter will be longer.

As most of you have probably noticed, I have bumped up the rating to M. I did it because of the dark themes and flashbacks of abuse that Bella will be having. This story is about Bella's recovery and problems. Rest assured, Bella WILL fall in love with Edward, but if things continue the way they are, not for awhile. There will be casual conversation between them, though, so don't worry.

Review!

Signed,

V.H.