Updates will remain sporadic with this one I'm afraid. Real life beckons as I'm both moving out of my house and dealing with summertime plans and cranky parents. But I decided to map out the remaining chapters of this story at long last. I can now give a proper estimate of the remainder of this story. There is around 20 more chapters left and out of those eight are written, though not to my content quite yet.

Last Chapter: Aerith finally learns she's pregnant and tells her mother.

This Chapter: Extremely unwanted news reaches Aerith's ears: Nibelhiem.

4~~~4

Dear Zack,

How've you been? I'd hoped you would be back by now. It's not the same without your little visits, even with Lester and Brigid keeping me company.

I'm much better now. Turns out I was right. Just a quick passing bug. But I still miss you.

I'm sorry for not writing sooner. Things have been a little…hectic recently. I can't really explain here, but we'll talk when you get back. I have a surprise for you when you get back. I hope you'll like it.

Anyway, I have to make this short. I have plans today. But Zack…please call me when you get this. I know I shouldn't be, but I'm worried. I just keep getting this feeling…

~Aerith

4~~~4

Dear Zack,

It's been two weeks since I last heard a peep out of you. Is everything okay? I'm probably worried over nothing, but Zack, I need to know that you're alright. You can write or call or just pass a message through Tseng.

Just please let me know you're okay…

~Aerith

4~~~4

Dear Zack,

I didn't want to do this…to tell you this through a letter, but it's been three weeks now and I made a deal with Mom. She thinks you're avoiding me…or that you're out with some other girl. But I know you better than that. Something's wrong, isn't it?

I'm just going to come out and say it, Zack. I'm pregnant. And I'm not afraid either.

Don't get me wrong. I was terrified at first. I don't know anything about babies...I've only seen a couple being carried around by women in the slums. I've never even held one, yet I know that I love this child…our child…already. I can't exactly explain it. And I'm not afraid to be a mother. Shiva it feels weird to say that.

Zack…I'm keeping this baby. And I want you to come home and help me raise it. I think you'd be good at it…raising a child…better than you are probably thinking right now. I think…I think I'm in love with you, Zack…Gods, I've been meaning to say that for so long. You make me incredibly happy, Zack. Everything about you. Your laugh, your smile, that little tick you get in your cheek with you're concentrating. I love it…love it all.

So please…come back.

~Aerith

Aerith drew a long breath, trying to quell her frayed nerves. The pen shook in her hands. She knew this was something she had to do. Yet it had jarred at her nerves to do it. She went through another 15 sheets before managing to write one vaguely legible. And then it sounded horrible. So she tried again and this was her latest product. She was satisfied with it. But she was also worried. She wanted to deliver the news in person, but the mission was taking far longer than Aerith had hoped.

The only thing she was afraid of was the prospect of Zack leaving her. He was still young and while on some matters he was wise beyond his years, on others, he was clueless and immature.

They had never discussed children…no matter how serious she felt they were, even she knew better than to go fantasizing about the prospect of childrearing. She knew he wasn't too bad with children; after all, Dunsten adored him. That boy idolized him despite their initial quarrel. Zack had been rather good with him. But Aerith didn't know how he felt about actually raising a child of his own. That took a level of maturity that many people never reach. Did Zack have it in him?

She pondered this question for a long moment before passing the letter off to Elmyra, who took it begrudgingly. She was still a little angry with Aerith and her 'foolish decision to ruin her life' as she had put it. But Aerith stood firm by her choice and Elmyra had to accept that at the very least. But that didn't mean she wasn't going to try and get revenge in other ways. Aerith was "grounded" for a couple weeks. Or months. Or years. Elmyra was very angry. Worse than Aerith had ever seen her. But then again, Aerith had never gotten knocked up at 16 before either. She had a right to be mad. Aerith just hoped that she wouldn't spite her child for it. She knew that her child would need as many on her side as possible.

Elmyra gave her that look. The elderly woman gathered up the rest of her belongings wordlessly and left the room, without a single word to Aerith. There was another thing she was doing. Things were substantially quieter at the Gainsborough household as of late. Elmyra was stubbornly giving the younger girl the silent treatment, scarcely speaking to her. She hadn't let her spend too much time with Brigid or Lester as of late either.

Yet Elmyra was a woman wizened to childbearing, despite not actually having a child biologically. She had a job and as did Aerith, so Aerith's needs had to be figured into her restrictions. Whenever either woman was working, Aerith needed one of her friends to accompany her. But even then there were serious restrictions. Aerith and her friends had to sell the entire time, couldn't go off to goof off and only got a half an hour break for mealtime. When Aerith was home, she was to be mostly bedridden(which Aerith strongly objected over). Momma Gainsborough had many friends in the slums and was not above putting tails on her daughter, not only because of her punishment, but also for her and her baby's safety.

Aerith and Elmyra hadn't acknowledged out loud the danger of Shinra, but it was on both of their minds. The Turks were already keeping careful tabs on the Ancient and while news of her condition had yet to leak any further than Brigid, it wasn't exactly easy to hide.

This last letter was, of course, one of the things Elmyra had demanded of Aerith. She had agreed with her initial plan of waiting to tell Zack in person, but he had been gone for so long by the time she even learned she was with child. Her mother agreed three weeks. They would wait three weeks and if he had not been in contact by then, she would go ahead and drop the bomb shell through her next letter. Aerith had prayed he would answer one of her calls or something…anything. But the three weeks passed and nada.

When Elmyra returned, Aerith instantly noticed a change. She still looked angry, but there was something different etched on her aging face. Something that she didn't like; that cut through her and sent the wind gushing from her limbs.

"What?" Aerith asked, her mouth pressed in a thin line.

She tossed Aerith two letters. Aerith was about to open them, but then noticed the address and raised her brow, confused.

"These are…my letters." She said. The question in her voice was not lost on Elmyra.

"Yes. They were marked 'Return to sender.' I'm sorry dear…" There was that look again. Aerith took a moment, trying to determine the meaning behind her words, when it hit her. She recognized that expression now…and it sent a horrible chill down her very core. It was the same expression she'd gotten when Aerith asked about her birth mother the first time. Sorrow…and sympathy as well.

"No….he's not…he can't be…" Her heart seemed to drop beneath the floorboards and her mind raced. The color drained from her face at what her mother was implying, just with those big, sad eyes. All too suddenly she became extremely still, her mind far, far away from the small house in sector 7. Then all at once, she knew. "He's not. He's still here.."

"My dear…what if you're wrong?" It was not the question Aerith wanted to hear at that moment, but it was one Elmyra knew she had to ask.

"Have I ever been wrong about this before?" Aerith's tone was soft as ever, but there was an unusual dangerous edge to it. She wasn't certain if it was the hormones or something more, but she narrowed her eyes at her mother, daring her to contradict her. She could guess her reply…the one that was dancing on the tip of Elmyra's tongue at that moment. No one close to her had died recently. Aerith hadn't had many people she cared about…not since her mother died. Aerith didn't have a great grasp on her powers, but this one fact, this one truth. It was not a lie. He was alive. She could feel him, sense him. It felt, in that instant, like they were tethered to one another, attached in some mystic way. And, Aerith thought as her hand unconsciously fell onto her stomach, perhaps they were. "This is just a mistake. You'll see."

The doubt on Elmyra's face…it hurt. Aerith felt as if she had been stung. Did she hate him that much that she was so ready to believe he was dead?
She must have spoken aloud, for Elmyra answered her. "No, sweetheart. I just…want you to think logically."

"There's no thinking here! You either are dead or you aren't! There are no inbetweens and I know he's alive!" Aerith had no idea where the sudden fury had come from.

She tore from the room before realizing what she was doing and her feet were suddenly pounding the cobblestone, her vision clouded from tears. She didn't hear or see anything, just ran. Not knowing where she was going or why. Her legs burned and she stumbled a few times, tripping over her wedges. She removed them, throwing them haphazardly aside onto the street before continuing her rampage.

It was a while before she realized that her feet were following an all too familiar path to the church. She slowed as she reached the familiar double doors, breathing in the taste of the night. The mesh of acrid scents suited her mood and somehow she found herself gulping them in. She needed assurances right now…somehow it was important to know. To know that she was alive and that she was herself. That way, there could be no possible way she was wrong. Zack was alive as surely as the smog choking the air of Midgar tasted god-awful.

She slipped through the double doors, relishing the feel of the splintered wood on her feet. The church was still, eternal and ethereal. It had been her sanctuary for so long and it remained her silent friend. She could tell you how many rafters were in the ceiling without looking and what ones were missing, having fallen from years of rot and decay. Given a pen and paper, she could sketch in detail every image depicted by the stain glass windows. She could name every scent in the building, every flower and dust particle. Even the sour smell of mildew eating away at the pews. The flowers sang to her softly, little tendrils of life humming a tune no one still living could decipher save her. Everything was now bathed in silver light of a bright moon, giving it a celestial feel. Yet there was also something mournful in the air, some sorrowful way the light reflected off the pristine white petals.

Anywhere else, the darkness might have set Aerith ill at ease. But the church was her sanctuary. An extension of herself really. She always felt as if the place mirrored her emotions. She was at home here. She was at peace.

She sank down to her knees next to the delicate flowers, letting their quiet songs flutter against her. Her eyes drifted and she swore she saw him for a moment, laying beside her. In her heart she was wishing. Dreaming. Hoping. Praying. That was what churches were once for, weren't they? She had never really used the church that way. Faith was a forgotten thing in the city of mako. Yet somehow, she hoped someone up there would still listening to the prayer of a young flower girl. That someone would help him. Bring him back to her safely. She could feel him, yet there was something off. She'd lied when she said there were no states in between life and death. And what she felt now was a man hovering over the cusp, able to slide both ways depending on the drop of a dime. He needed to live…to survive. To return to her. So he could see baby she was carrying…his baby…

She would take him no matter what, so long as she could have him again. To feel his breath on the back of her neck. To stare into those pools of sky and lose herself in them.

She remembered telling him she was afraid of the sky.

Regardless of how stunning it could be, she always felt like she'd fall upwards into the vast expanse of blue when she was little. Like it would suck her into space and she'd be away from all that she knew. All that she cared about. That fear had carried onwards into her teens. It wasn't till about a year after she met Zack that she really tried to change that fear. He was as free as a bird in the sky. She wanted to be able to fly with him.

It seemed almost silly now. It wasn't ever the sky Aerith was afraid of. It was all the foreign airs. The sky connected the entire world. Its winds told stories to her of foreign lands; that was what scared her. Being overwhelmed by the planet, swallowed by it, consumed. She could feel the earth just through the wind. She could feel the lifestream, ever shifting. How things would die then their life source would animate something else worlds away.

As a child, her powers had terrified her. They made the sky feel open and vacuous, the earth feel hungry and water taste odd. As she aged, she'd come to understand why everything was what it was. It wasn't random. Everything was exactly how the lifestream wanted. It spoke to her, whispering the will. Reminding her to make sure that green materia was in her tresses every single day, ready for the day she would need to use it.

She almost wanted to go out and see the sky tomorrow. She wanted to remember what it was like to look into his eyes. Nothing was that blue down here. That extreme, bright shade that shone like a light in the darkness. Her light, paving the road to a future that both terrified and excited her.

But she couldn't see it without him. She didn't want to have to imagine a future without him. And she hoped she wouldn't have to. She closed her eyes, hoping to see him. Hoping he'd fall down from the sky again and be back with her.

Footsteps punctuated the night, quiet and hesitant. A familiar thrum on wood. It wasn't hard for her to guess who it was. Somehow, he always found her, whenever she was hurting. She didn't open her eyes, but she spoke anyways. "How'd you know I was here?"

"I guessed. You usually are…But so late?" The concern was evident in his voice.

"I can handle myself." She answered simply.

"Yes, but…"

"Not like this, right?" She finally let her eyes open slightly, giving him a once over before closing them once more. "You know why I'm here, don't you?"

He didn't say anything for a long moment. "I can guess…"

"It's a lie, isn't it?" She whispered barely.

"I'm afraid not." There was a slight tremor in his voice though and Aerith caught it. Her eyes snapped open and she glared at him.

"Don't lie to me, Tseng. He's not gone. He can't be. I can feel it!" She insisted. She bit her lip. Had she just admitted…

"Don't worry. I didn't hear a thing." Tseng said and Aerith relaxed, feeling the earth seep into her pores once more. "But Aerith…Zack Fair is dead."

Aerith shook her head. "No, he's not." He couldn't honestly think she would buy that. She stood up, a strange sensation filling her. "He's alive. I know it. Give these to him please…"

She held out the two unsent letters. The look on her face seemed to dare Tseng not to take them. They looked at each other for a moment longer. "I'll see what I can do."

Aerith gave a ghost of a smile. She'd won and they both knew it. His consent meant that she was right and that was the best news she'd heard all night.

"Please, Tseng, bring him back to me. I need him…"

4~~~4

Next Chapter: A few new problems pop up.

Note: From the later plans for this story, I can say that these are the lighter chapters, where I'm trying to prepare the main arc. Things do not stay this civil or calm for too long...

~Crisi