Truth Be Told I'm Lyin'

Betel was counting the minutes until he would be visiting Lydia and rubbing her nose in the fact that she definitely did not get laid. That's what she got for not seducing him.

Before he could go do that fun stuff, however, he had to get through work which consisted of plenty of paperwork these days. Being freelance was not allowed any more as a part of his probation and he actually had to work for a company. With Juno as his supervisor of all people. It really sucked.

Today, though, not even that she-devil could dampen his mood.

"You're humming." Juno stated when she came into the office Betel shared with three other people he had already managed to drive insane.

Looking over at the intruder, Betel stopped immediatly. He honestly had not noticed and was really embarrassed that Juno had. "How about that." He said with a shrug and went back to his desk work.

"You must be up to something to be in such a good mood... I think you have dirt on someone." Juno was smiling at him mischeivously and he realized she had known him for far too long. It was so hard getting away with anything around her.

"Nah, I was just imagining bombing this place." Betel said before sighing happily at the thought. Turning his attention back to her when she cleared his throat he raise an eyebrow at her. "Whaddya want?"

"To forget what you just said and for you to sign these." Juno took a step forward and slid a thin folder towards him.

"Why? Am I in trouble?" As he opened the folder he had a big ole scowl on his face. So maybe Juno could put a damper on his good mood. Damn her!

"Not at the moment." She said as she sat down in one of his absent collegue's office chair. You know, the kind with the wheels. It was really the only reason why Betel was still so perfectly sane and hadn't blown up the place yet, plenty of things could be forgiven if he got a rolly chair. And an office to himself. Which didn't start out like that in the morning but by lunch time, if not sooner, he was pleasantly alone.

Looking up when Juno cleared her throat he realized he had totally forgotten she was there or that he was supposed to be signing things.

"Then what's it for?" He asked as he scanned the sheet. It didn't have a whole lot on it that was very telling and Betel felt right away that it was pretty fishy looking. "I was only joking about the bomb." Kinda.

Juno made a noise of disbelief, "I'm sure that bomb of yours is some sort of back up plan you have stored should you lose your job, but no this is just a standard paper all workers need to sign that somehow got left out on your first day back. It's simply procedure that basically states you won't steal from the office so you won't get into any trouble."

"...Starting today?"

"Yes, Betel. As soon as you sign the dotted line." The smile she was giving him looked like it was causing her pain. Picking up his pen he began to sign, but something caught his eye that made his hand freeze.

"Hey wait a sec..." Betel squinted down at the words. As vague and sparse the sentences might be he suddenly had the feeling that they had rearranged themselves while he wasn't looking.

I'm being tricked! By Juno of all people! Standing up angrily, Betel threw his pen down on his desk. "What the hell is this?"

Juno looked defeated. "Oh damn."

"Yeah, gonna have to try harder than that to trick me!" Betel exclaimed, completely outraged. Of course the silver lining to all this was that maybe his yelling would be heard through out the building and his office buddies would not return the next day... But all of that was beside the point. "What is this?" Betel repeated slowly, pointing at the offending paper on his desk.

"It's a favor for a client of mine." Juno admitted as she stood up and walked slowly towards him.

No no no, she's not allowed to be calm while I'm standing over here about to blow. Not fair. Throw something at her. Catch her dress on fire.

"Now before you get any more angry just hear me out Betel Geuse." Juno raised her hands defensively as she talked. That's better, get defensive. Let's negotiate.

"I don't know why I should. Pretty sure I could just take this to the board and see what they have to say about that." Betel threatened.

When Juno laughed, he got a little bit more angry. "God, listen to yourself Geuse. Threatening to turn me in? That's not like you at all."

"Yeah well... I could say the same about you and tricking me into signing papers that aren't - stop shitting around Juno!" He was truly angry now. She had tried to distract him! That wasn't fair at all.

"Alright alright," Juno relaxed her arms and sighed in defeat. "It's obvious you're not a complete idiot."

"Thanks grandma." Betel muttered, not about to return the compliment.

"And that you're maturity level has not gotten any higher." Juno added looking quite annoyed. Rubbing her brow she went to one of the unoccupied desks and sat down, obviously trying to figure out how to break the news to Betel Geuse.

He really did not care how she broke the news to him as long as it was fast-like.

"It's a restraining order, but my client had not wanted you to find out about it so they asked me if there was anyway we could get you to unknowingly sign the papers... I said yes but apparently I was mistaken."

Betel tried to think over anyone he might have pissed off recently. In fact he had been a very pleasant poltergiest if he did say so himself. Well, he had left a mess in Lydia's kitchen, but she wouldn't... Nah... "Why would they not want me to know about a restraining order?"

"Possibly to humiliate you should you try to break it." Juno said with a shrug and Betel knew at once why she was helping this mysterious client out. After all, she wanted him thrown in to jail and never again respected for all the mayhem he was responsible for.

Grabbing the paper, Betel shook it hard to make the words appear how they were meant to be and scanned it for any names.

"Who is Mark McAlli?" Betel asked, noticing Juno did not seem at all worried about him knowing who her client was. This all reeked of foul play. "Are you fucking with me?"

"My client." Juno answered, inspecting her fingernails with a bored expression and without answering his last question or giving him a second glance she left the office, but not before Betel saw that smirk.

She is fucking with me.

The address of Mark McAlli was right on the sheet and Betel Geuse left work faster than the day he heard about the new whorehouse giving away free lapdances. Oh... that had been such a good day.

Snapping out of it, Betel Geuse did not let himself get distracted from his anger. No one asked for a restraining order on him unless he damn well did something awesome. If this man had the guts to piss him off so much he had better watch out for the fit Betel was about to throw.

Finding the man's home was easy enough as he lived in a neighborhood Betel was very familiar with. Pounding on the door until the wood splintered, Betel cursed to himself silently.

Fucking ameteurs in over your head. Trying to screw with me, I'll show ya what's what. I will. Shitass.

The man who opened the door looked vaguely familiar but Betel Geuse did not much care and grabbed the man by the front of his shirt.

"I didn't sign the papers." Betel growled, not appreciating how calm the dweeb was being. He was not even trembling or looking like he might piss himself.

"I'm glad you came so quickly Betel Geuse."

"Not usually the response I get." Betel muttered, pushing the man away from him. "You're really pissing me off with all this shitting around. What's going on here?"

"Juno owed me a favor, I asked her to get you here whichever way she thought was best." The man explained, probably thinking that was all the information Betel Geuse needed for everything to make sense. "Won't you have a seat?"

Eyeing the chair the other man was gesturing to, Betel Geuse was pretty sure he did not want or need to be there. He was pretty sure he had just been fooled by Juno and this Mark guy. He was pretty sure he was going to blow a fucking fuse from how pissed off he was.

Without saying a word, Betel Geuse left. I'll give the fuckers a reason to give me a restraining order. Sons of bitches.

Betel Geuse did not storm home or back to the office, instead he banged furiously on Lydia's door until she opened it with a surprised look on her face.

Getting over the initial shock of finding a furious Betel Geuse on her doorstep, Lydia remembered her own anger. "Thanks for the mess you left last night, it really made my night when I got back home."

"Put a cork in it babe." Betel grumbled, walking past her into the apartment.

Lydia shut the door with a loud bang and Betel figured he should be nicer to her if he wanted her to take him and get drunk. Glancing over at her, he hoped his expression was not very harsh as he tried to think of something to say to make up for his snappy attitude, after all it was not her that tried to trick him into coming over.

"Just kidding." he tried and Lydia rolled her eyes at him but as she dropped her arms to her side and came closer he figured it must have at least sort of worked.

"Trouble at the office sugar pie?" If Betel had not had his eyes on Lydia as she spoke he would have thought someone else was in the room. Someone with a really bad southern accent.

Shuddering, Betel wrinkled his nose at her, "I hate it when you call me by your sick pet names."

Lydia simply shrugged and went to the fridge. When she came over to where Betel was sitting and offered him a drink he was incredibly surprised, as he was used to her trying to kick him out instead of being hospitable.

"What's this?" Betel asked, wondering if it was some sort of poison. Not that it would work, but still... never hurts to be cautius, a decent killing potion can ruin the taste of a good moonshine.

"Chocolate milk." Lydia said, wiping at her upper lip after taking a long drink.

"Don't you have anything real to drink?"

"It isn't fake, sweetcheeks."

"Alright alright, I'll drink it. Just stop... being sweet..." Betel finished lamely, snatching the drink from her. Lydia shrugged and smiled at him and Betel wondered at this change.

What does she have to be so damn happy about? I know full well she's not getting laid.

Glancing at her as she perched on the arm of his chair he frowned. At least I think she isn't getting laid...

Recognizing opportunity, Betel leaned back and slid one arm around Lydia's waist. If she was going to throw herself at him then he would be the gentleman and completely take her up on the offer and maybe it meant she had not gotten laid. The guy probably was a dial tone and bored her to death. Or maybe he found out she was complete rubbish at playing charades or something.

Which totally made sense as a turn off to Betel Geuse.

Lydia stood up and walked over to the couch to sit down and Betel tried to take a hint but he kind of felt like he was getting some mixed signals.

"Are you just being a tease?" Betel asked, leaning forward. "I get the feeling you want me to come over and sit next to you but then you'll probably just walk away again." He took a large gulp of his drink, watching her over his glass as she turned red.

"I didn't invite you over here, genius." Lydia bit out at him and he wondered if it was to cover the fact that she was blushing. People were fucking with him and her being a cock tease was just about the last straw.

"I know. I come over, we flirt shamelessly and then you kick me out. Which reminds me, how did that hot date of yours go last night?" Betel asked, wondering if she would lie to him or tell the truth. Or maybe she just wouldn't tell him everything which was really wrong. Didn't she know her business was of course his business? It came with being nearly married to each other.

They were nearly bound for eternity except for they weren't. Did that just mean nothing to her? Didn't she know how much that meant to him? It wasn't just anyone who came that close to tying down the hunk that was Betel Geuse.

The ingrate!

Lydia looked at him evenly, the blush having left her cheeks at last. "I had a good time last night."

Sometimes Betel wondered why he even bothered wasting time trying to get into her pants though he was aware that that was not all he wanted. He hoped she knew that was not all he wanted, though he didn't really know what else there was other than getting into her pants.

After months of being her almost friend and joking around like they were the most normal pair in the world, did he expect her to finally give in and then what? He could just leave. What else was there? He had never looked past his short term goals. Lydia was not short term, that was as much as he knew at least.

"But I am going out again tonight so you'll have to leave soon." Lydia continued and stood up. "Actually I want to take a shower so if you could just leave now that would be swell."

He wondered where the mixed tension had come from. Had he done that the night before? No, she had been the one giving him mixed signals, wanting him there and then wanting him gone. Admitting she liked his company. He wouldn't be surprised if she started telling people they were friends. Or at least him... okay he would be surprised if she actually told people they were friends but still... what the hell was she saying?

Betel stood up as well and stretched lazily. "Mind if I join? I'm feeling kind of greasy from too much paper work."

"Yes." Lydia nodded quickly. "I really do mind. Goodbye Betel Geuse."

Frowning, Betel set his glass down on her table and left her apartment without another word. So she thinks I'm gonna get mad, huh? Well I'll show her... I'm so fucking angry!

Betel didn't even want to follow her again. Instead he dug his hands in his pockets and felt the crumpled paper with that moron's address on it. Maybe that was who he would stalk that night... for entirely different reasons. He wasn't into men if that's what you were thinking. Nope, he was a strictly one sex man.