Still Figuring Out

Thank you for the response to my last chapter! It made me so happy, I'm updating now, instead of tomorrow :)

One little thing; the review about my use of Taylor Swifts song. "They're her words, not yours" – think about it. These characters are Stephenie Meyers, not mine, yet you're not complaining about that. I am glad you like it other than that.

This wasn't as long as the past few chapters, but that's because I was trying to show some of Bella's response to Jasper's past mostly. The next one will be longer, I promise :)

Disclaimer; I do not own Twilight. I do, however, own OVER 200 REVIEWS. :D *nerdy moment*

Chapter 4 – 44. Caliber Love Letter

I woke up to find Jasper sat at the end of the bed, his hand resting on my leg, stroking it gently. He was watching me curiously.

I was still trying to get over the information over load from yesterday – Jasper, the youngest major in the Confederate Army, born in the 1800's. It was insane. But after learning everything about him, I was so proud. Seeing his scars, I could tell how much he had been through. Bite marks scattered on him, dense in places, and scarce in others. It must have hurt like hell, but he got through it. He got through it, and he's come out as the amazing, strong man I know.

The curiosity on his face was turning to worry, he was anxious.
"Jasper? What's up?"

"We, need to talk. About yesterday." He told me. I was instantly worried, and pulled my legs up to my chest – did he want me to leave? Did he regret telling me about his past?

"Shit, I'm sorry if I did something wrong, I didn't mean to push you to tell me about your past, please don't leave me, please." I begged shamelessly. Usually, I would have held back, but I didn't care about dignity right now. I looked up at him, I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes already. I couldn't deal with it if I lost him – they'd all leave again. Edward, I can live without, but not his family, my family. He was beside me before I could blink, holding me close to him.

"I won't leave you darlin', I promise, I could never leave you." He told me, stroking my hair and kissing the top of my head to comfort me.

"Then, what's up, Jasper?" I asked, sniffling. I knew he could feel my confusion. I had been trying to push out the emotions I wanted him to feel, holding back the bad ones – worry, pain, sadness – because I didn't want them to affect him. I didn't know whether it worked properly, but I hope it did. I didn't want to drag him down with my bad emotions over Edward. He sat down in front of me and took my hands in his.

"Isabella, I think we should take things slow," he told me, as I sat and watched him, looking for signs that he might leave me, "Silly Bella," he laughed, "What I mean, is…" he took a deep, unnecessary breath and looked me in the eyes, "Isabella, I, I think I might be falling in love with you." He half whispered, looking back at our linked hands. I knew what he was thinking, just the same as yesterday, he was waiting for me to freak out or run – not that I would get very far. I watched him closely, scrutinizing his facial expressions, before I realized that he truly meant it. He's falling in love with me. I moved forward quickly and pulled him into a huge hug and kissed him. I didn't have to vocalize my reply. He knew how I felt about him. He could feel it. I pushed my love for him out to him, and I knew it worked as he looked up at me and grinned, love shining in his eyes. He held me close for a while, and we spent an immeasurable amount of time sat cuddled on the bed. Until of course, Emmett decided he was bored and ruined the moment.

"Belly, please come and play video games with me!" he whined, "or at least stop fucking Jasper for long enough that he can come play with me…" I laughed and grabbed Jaspers hand, pulling him along to the door, opening it as Emmett fell through the space where the door used to be, landing with a huge thud, making him complain more than usual.

"C'mon big fella, let's go play some games. Wanna go shoot some people?" Jasper asked him in the sweetest voice he could muster, one that he would probably have used to talk to a child if he had to, and led Emmett down the stairs. I followed them, laughing, before heading into the kitchen to grab some breakfast.

JPov

"So, Jazzy… How was she?" Emmett asked, after Bella had left to go to the kitchen.

"Uh, I honestly don't know what you're talking about, Emmett."

"You know man, I heard you guys, last night! You were really going at it, dude!" he laughed.

"We didn't do anything, Emm."

"Then, what…?"

"Well, we started to, but we, got, distracted…" I told him, "You know what we didn't, we came downstairs and talked." I said, as he laughed his booming laugh – if I was able to, I would have blushed.

"Sweet! Belly's getting some!" He exclaimed, just as Bella walked in. Perfect timing. I felt her embarrassment surface as the blood pooled in her cheeks. I was hoping she hadn't heard any of it, but I knew she had, a little. I also knew that what she did hear, she would have taken completely out of context. She stood there for a minute, before turning around and walking back out again.

"Good job, Emmett." I glared at him, before running out after her, leaving Emmett sat bewildered.

I found her sat in our room on the bed, her head in her hands.

"Isabella?" I walked over and stood next to the bed, her feelings were driving me crazy, she couldn't seem to decide. She was mostly just embarrassed, but I could feel a small amount of lust, amusement, love and sadness.

"Darlin', you're confusing me, why are you sad? He was only joking around, you know what he's like. If it's upsetting you, I'll go put him in his place for you, I wouldn't think twice about throwing him through a window for you." I told her, worried that I'd done something to upset her. I was right, we should have taken all of this slower.

"I'm sad, because I made a total fucking idiot of myself. Any normal person would have been able to stand there and have a laugh about it, but I didn't." She said, still looking at the floor. I laughed, and she looked at me as though I had grown a second head or something.

"Bella, sorry, I'm just glad it's nothing huge. Don't worry about that darlin', you don't have to joke around with him about stuff like that if you don't want to."

?Pov

How could he do this to me? We were supposed to be friends – no, closer than friends. He was like a brother to me. I'm the good guy in all of this! I love her. I can protect her. Plus, there's no way I could possibly kill her, not with my impeccable control. He'll probably just lose control, and she'll end up drained on the floor, she'd end up fucking dead, because of him. Or he'd end up breaking her, every bone in her fragile body. Even the simplest movement could have her injured, in hospital. A hug, a hand shake, a pat on the back, anything. I don't care what anyone says. She can just leave, she knows she was nothing but a half-decent fuck to relieve my tension and frustration. I've had far better. My girl though, my girl back home, she would beat them all, without a doubt.

I'm a man with a plan.

I will get her back. She will be mine. I will kill anyone, or anything, that tries to stand in my way.

Now, where's a quick fuck when I need one?

Reviews = love :)