Hello everyone. So I just wanted to make myself clear on one thing. And it's that those flashbacks that Lovino has aren't really easy for me to write. Just thought you should all know that. Anyway I'm gonna be showing a lot about their past relationship, and so this chapter is going to be in Antonio's POV. Another thing is that I'm really sorry about the few grammar mistakes, my mac is really buggy and I lose paragraphs and have to start over a lot :P Hope you guys like this chapter!

Disclaimer: I don't own Hetalia

Antonio's POV...

I really, really love Lovi. I love him so, so much.

...

It's just that, ever since we first started dating it was like he was hiding something from me. And I know now that that something is something very important. I try to talk to him, but he just shuts me out.

It's almost like me doesn't fully trust me.

But I want to be there for him. I want to make him feel safe, and feel like he never has to be scared ever again, of anything! Because I'm here for him ...But it's so hard.

It wasn't any kind of a secret to anybody that Lovino wasn't telling me something, something really important. And although I'm not proud of it, I-I just have to figure out what that is!

So I made up a list of all the people that might(or defiantly) know about whats wrong with Lovino:

1: Feliciano

2: Ludwig

3: Kiku

4: Heracles

5: Alfred(maybe even Arthur?)

6: Feliks

7: Toris

...Yeah, that seemed about right.

I didn't go to school with Lovi, or even grow up with him. So I know for a fact that at least one of these people will know whats wrong.

But I did go to collage with him.

...Well...not for very long. I remember back when we were nineteen we were taking a class together. He did in fact catch my eye. How could he not! With his absolute adorableness!

But than all the sudden he stopped coming to class, and I heard that he had dropped out! Which was odd, because I remember him having really, really good grades. School is still kind of a touchy subject with Lovino. He's really upset about not having a collage degree when the rest of his friends, and everyone else he knows does. That's the whole reason he can't a real job.

...I'm getting ahead of myself.

I just needed to get to Feli and Ludwig's house.

I didn't like the way Ludwig was looking at me, not at all. I felt like I was snooping around in some kind of secret epidemic. Feli just smiled kinda nervously at me. They knew something didn't they?

"W-Why do you want to know anything about my brother before he meet you?"

Oh they defiantly knew something!

"Well Lovino is my boyfriend, and I just want to make sure he's okay and all. You know how he gets with conversation."

Feli just shock his head, "There isn't anything to know of. Really."

"Ugh...So we're going to have to relive that crap again, huh?"

"Ludwig!"

Ludwig just shrugged it off, and smoothed his hair back. I could tell he was annoyed... no, no not annoyed, more like... nervous.

"What does he mean, Feliciano?"

"Nothing, it's just...nothing. L-Listen Antonio, why don't you go back home. I'm sure Lovi really needs you right now."

"Yeah, I guess...b-but I know that something is up with Lovino! Don't you think I have a right to know!"

Feliciano just looked at me for a bit, his eyes were kind of sad looking, "Yes I do. But you won't be hearing it from me."

"C-Come on Feliciano! I have a right to know what is wrong with my boyfriend! I-I just love him so much, and I don't want him to be hurting so much, and without me even knowing what the cause is! I feel so helpless, that I can't even protect the one I love from something that I don't even know about! Please, just please give me something! I deserve to know!"

They just kinda went back and forth, looking at me, and then at each other, and than back at me. I wasn't to entirely sure of what they were doing know. Either just stalling until a good opportunity came for me to leave. Or they were really contemplating on weather or not they should tell me something.

...

"L-Listen Antonio. Somethings are really better left unsaid, and unknown, okay? We are so, so sorry about everything, but I...we think you and Lovino will be much happier if you simply don't know, okay?"

...

What?...

I didn't really know what to say to that, so I just left. What could I say? Maybe I didn't say anything because I was so angry that they were still keeping things from me. Or maybe it was because now I know that whatever is happening to Lovino, or had happened, it must be pretty awful.

...I mean, unless of course it was something else. U-Unless, Lovino was... cheating on me.

No! Absolutely not! There's no way he could cheat on me, Lovi isn't like that. He's not an unfaithful person. B-But he has been acting strange the past few months, but he still wouldn't do that. I-I mean I don't think so.

He loves me, I know he does. Even if he may not always show it in the best ways, or as often as I know he would like to. He still wouldn't do that!

I mean, maybe. I-It would be the l-logical thing right?

I started to really hate myself went the tears started falling, I just couldn't think about that to much, or at all really!

I mean what else is there? He's never been with anyone else, and we've only been dating for about two years now. I just, don't know what else it could be.