***WARNING*** this chapter is kinda sappy, so sorry if you don't like that sorta thing, but I felt like the story needed at least one chick-flick chapter (of course I added my own twist to it. I mean, no one likes TOO much cuddles and warm fuzzies :P). I hope you enjoy it anyway!
Chapter 4- Benny
I hate driving. It's so damn slow compared to flying, and I hate the feeling of being trapped. When I fly, I'm surrounded by open air, and I have the breeze in my face, ruffling my hair and feathers. But in this stupid car I just feel like I'm going to scream. I never knew I was this claustrophobic, but hey, you learn something new every day.
Kamryn and I have barely talked since the incident at Timberland Inn, and I feel as if I'm alone, even though she is constantly by my side. That phrase, 'so close, but so far?' I never really understood it until now. To be honest, even though she can be a pain, I miss her. I glance over at her to see she is slumped in her seat, gazing out the window.
"What's up?" I ask, breaking the silence. Kamryn glances over at me, then continues staring out the window.
"It's hard to explain," she sighs.
"That's not an answer. Now tell me, what's bothering you?" I insist. She barks a humorless laugh.
"Hmm, I can't imagine what could possibly have me upset," She says. I let out a huff.
"Come on, you know what I mean. You weren't THIS moody until Timberland. Tell me what's wrong," I demand. She hesitates, frustrating me further. "I swear to god I will stop this car and force the answer out of you." Huh. That's a new one. I can tell she knows I'm bluffing, but she still answers, thank god.
Kamryn sighs and shrugs. "I just remember thinking, the day you rescued me, that I didn't care what the world was like as long as I got out of the Institution, because 'nothing could possibly be worse than this.'" Oh lord was she wrong. "Turns out no matter where I go people want to kill me 'cause of what I am." I don't say anything. "I don't understand why people would judge someone- hate someone- because of something they can't control. Without even getting to know them," she continues with a sigh. I laugh harshly at her naivety.
"Holocaust, Civil War, Gay Rights, this isn't the first time. Humans are freaking messed up creatures. And it's sick because they think what they're doing is right. They know that they're hurting each other, but they legit think they're doing the right thing. All they care about is themselves, and they think everyone else should be like them," I say, anger creeping into my voice. Kamryn gives me a look that I can't quite place, and then she turns away shaking her head.
"What?" I ask. Actually, I think challenge would be a better word.
Kamryn shakes her head again. "Nothing. You're right," she tells me. I don't say anything else, and neither does she. We keep driving, silent once more.
Soon I become too tired to continue. I stop at a hotel in Little Rock, Arkansas (I can't process the name of the town, I'm too tired). We get out of the car with our stuff and walk to the counter. I don't make eye-contact with the innkeeper, the incident in Timberland still fresh in my mind. The man hands me a key and Kamryn and I drag ourselves to our room, which is thankfully on the first floor.
I unlock the door and throw my bag of stuff on the floor. I crawl into the bed and under the covers, dropping my head onto the pillows gratefully. The last thing I vaguely process before falling asleep is the sound of a muffled sob.
Eleven-year-old me stood in my bathroom, panicking at the sight of the wings sprouted on my back. I knew I wasn't supposed to say bad words, but I couldn't help it and no one was around anyway.
"Dammit!" I whispered to myself. "Dad is going to be so pissed." I didn't know when it happened, just that I woke up that morning feeling strange, and my back felt like something was stuck to it. I was surprised when I looked in the mirror of my bathroom and saw wings, light brown with white spots. I was shocked that they grew so quickly, but it was a mutation and I didn't understand anything about mutations, whatever kind.
I honestly didn't care that I was a mutant. I had known my fair share of mutants and they weren't as bad as everyone thought. They were just people, even if they looked different or had powers. They were special. Improved. No, I didn't care about what I was; what really had me scared was what my family's reactions would be. I knew ever since I could talk that my parents, especially my dad, hated anyone that was different from them, and now I would be a subject of that hate. I wasn't sure what to do. I fell to my knees, sobbing into my hands. Then I heard a knock at the door.
I looked up, panicked, searching for my shirt when the door opened a crack and my four-year-old sister, Alice, the sweetest person I had ever known and whom I cherished more than anything, slipped in. Immediately I attempted to hide my wings, afraid of what she'd think of me, but I knew she had already seen them. I closed my eyes and shrank back, waiting for her to scream, gasp, something. But, to my surprise, she just put a small hand on my arm. I opened my eyes to see her smiling, blue eyes twinkling.
"You too?" She asked softly in her sweet voice. Confused, I raised an eyebrow. Then she turned around and lifted up her shirt, revealing two tiny, white wings, like an angel's. They suited her. My little angel.
"They're beautiful, Lice," I whispered.
She tugged her shirt back down and turned around, stepping forward and hugging me around my waist. I stroked her blonde curls lovingly. What would I do without her? Then, the door swung open, and my mother and father stood there in shock. My dad's expression turned slowly from shock to anger as he saw my wings and his expression changed once again, that time to sadness. My mother's mouth opened in a perfect 'o'.
"My own children," My dad said in disgust, shaking his head. I felt tears streaming down my cheeks. There was something in his voice: pure horror and it broke my heart. My own parents hated me.
"Benny, wake up!" said a girl's voice says, and I snap out of my dream. I open my eyes to see Kamryn's worried face staring down at me, her forehead creased and her lips slightly ajar.
"Wha?" I mumble groggily. "Wha's going on?" I sit up in my bed. Man, I feel crappy. It's like I didn't even sleep at all.
"I could ask you the same question! You kept mumbling in your sleep, you really freaked me out! Did you have a bad dream or something?" she says, concern evident in her voice. I shake my head, not wanting to tell her about it.
"Don't worry about it, I'm fine," I say, and she purses her lips but doesn't say anything, in an obvious "I know you're hiding something but I'll leave it alone… for now."
"We should go. I don't know what it is, but I hate this place. It makes me uncomfortable," she says, heading towards the door. I get out of bed as she throws me my pack of things. She opens the door and walks out, saying jokingly "By the way, you look awful." I laugh and look in the mirror, and see what she means; my shaggy hair is a mess, there are shadows under my eyes, and my clothes are wrinkly. But I don't bother to do anything about it. I honestly could care less about my appearance, that sort of thing never really mattered to me.
"You're a jerk," I say anyways, and I hear her laugh in response. It seems the awkward silence between us has evaporated, and I'm thankful.
Suddenly, I remember last night before I fell asleep. The crying. My lighthearted mood is whisked away and I catch up with Kamryn. I want to know why she was crying, but at the same time I don't want things to get bad between us again. I debate with myself whether or not to ask. I look over at her, and see she's glancing at me, concern on her face again.
"What's up? You look upset," she asks. I decide not to ask right now.
"Nothing, just thinking," I say, attempting a lighthearted tone. I decide it's passable. I can tell she knows that isn't the whole truth, but thankfully she just shrugs. We give our room key back to the innkeeper, who takes it without a second glance, and we get into our car without a single interruption.
After a while of driving I hear Kamryn let out a huff and I look over at her.
"What's up?" I ask, knowing what's coming.
"Oh, don't play innocent. We both know you had a bad dream last night and you're hiding it from me. I mean, come on! You had me tell you about the Institution, but you can't tell me about a little nightmare?" she says quickly and I know she's been holding it in since we left the hotel. I barely think before responding.
"Only if you tell me why I heard crying last night before I fell asleep."
Kamryn looks shocked and embarrassed.
"You heard that? I thought you were asleep," she says, looking away.
"Well, you thought wrong. Now tell me," I demand. I groan inwardly as I realized this trip is slowly becoming a chick-flick. I need to stop all the heart-to-hearts. But I still want to know why she was upset.
"Fine. I was just a bit overwhelmed with… well… everything, and I couldn't keep it in any longer. I don't know, the stress was just getting to me. I'm fine now," she assures me. "Now, why were you weeping in your sleep like a little girl?" I know she's teasing me so this doesn't become too sappy, and I'm grateful that she hates all this chick-flick crap as much as I do. I marvel again at how different she is from most other girls I've ever met, mutant or not. Suddenly, I realize with a bit of a jolt that she reminds me of Alice. Alice hated super sappy stuff too, as she got older. I shake the thought out of my head, knowing thoughts like that aren't going to make this any easier.
"I had a dream about the night I figured out my sister and I was mutants. I was eleven. She was four. My parents saw our wings and pretty much hated us instantly. I'll never forget the horror on my dad's face when he saw. That was the night Lice and I ran away to Xavier's school. She died two years later in the attack by the AML," I say, tears threating to overflow from my eyes. I blink hard, refusing to let them come.
Kamryn doesn't say anything for a long time. It seems like hours, but I know it is only a minute or two. Suddenly, she hugs me.
"Whoa!" I say, and the car swerves a bit before I get it under control. "Not while I'm driving!" I ignore the honking from behind me and the rude hand gesture that I see in my rear-view mirror.
"Right, sorry," she says sheepishly, blushing. I'm not angry though. I smile a small smile and put a hand on her shoulder. She really does remind me of Lice.