Someone awesome kindly sent me a message about this story and how she liked it on Tumblr. So for you, here we go! Also, the full title is Drunk Lauren and the Attempt at the Dreaded Pick-up Line. But ff doesn't allow me to write such a long title. I know right! Hope you enjoy!

Tamsin sat on the floor, edge of her pinkie finger skimming her mouth, as she went through the succuslut's case files; searching for anything that would exonerate or defeat the succubus, she didn't know.

She was caught off guard as her front door was opened then closed, she hadn't been expecting her partner or anyone that late at night and she warily looked up into the opening, waiting for whoever barged in to appear. If they were stupid enough to try to rob her apartment, well let 'em come.

The valkyrie was caught off guard again by the amount of stumbling, half whispered sentences asking where that had come from, and then a woman's figure filled the entrance.

Lauren.

Correction: Lauren with a six pack of beer that had four already missing from it's holders.

The doctor was smiling drunkenly at Tamsin and she said, "Hey Tamsin, I got a joke for you. Two atoms were walking down the street and one goes, 'Oh no, I've seemed to have lost an electron!' and the second one goes 'Are you sure?!' while the other replies 'I'm positive!'" Lauren smirked at her own joke and took another swig of her beer.

Tamsin, who had no business telling someone else to quit the beer, just looked at her with questions in her eyes. "Yeah, doc, I think you've had enough," she said, getting up from her paperwork and went to Lauren's side. Trying to swipe the beer away from her, but to no avail, Tamsin looked over to where the woman was walking and almost cringed. For a doctor, the woman could move pretty damn fast.

"Wanna hear another? What's your lowest geographical point? Because I'd like to travel beyond your sea level."Lauren looked around at Tamsin and her eyebrow raised. Horny jokes, jokes of any kind, were so not her style.

Lauren was close to the files Tamsin had been working on and only her drunkenness was keeping her from spotting them. Tamsin, who was all for being accused of things, was not looking forward to that specific conversation here and now.

The doctor set the beers down on Tamsin's couch and looked over to her. Sauntering over, beer still in hand, her fingers traced small circles and lines down Tamsin's bare chest and shirt. "Do you know what my favorite element on the periodic table is?" Her beautiful brown eyes looked up at Tamsin, and even the valkyrie who didn't care about such things, knew the answer.

Picking Lauren up, the valkyrie swung her into the wall behind them, and began trailing sloppy kisses down her neck. Lauren gasped and held the nape of Tamsin's neck as she tried to get out, "Are you a non-volatile particle? Because you're raising my boiling point." She moaned as Tamsin bit into her neck.

"The geeky crap is working, doc," Tamsin breathed into her neck.

And just like that, Tamsin's mood was immediately dampened by a sudden heart choking sob that left Lauren's lips.

The hell…

Tamsin let the doctor down and backed a few feet away, she really hated crying.

Lauren's hand went to her face to try to hide her tears while Tamsin ran around her apartment frantically. Lauren watched as the valkyrie flipped over objects and papers to try to find something, anything, to try to cheer the woman up. Suddenly finding it, Tamsin's frantic footsteps came back towards Lauren, holding out a box of crumpled tissue's in her hand. She couldn't help but smile as Tamsin's eyes shifted this way and that as she tried to find something to say.

"Do you… uh wanna talk about it?" Tamsin asked.

Lauren looked up at Tamsin and said, "Do you even want to hear it?"

The doc had her there. She didn't want to, actually. She wanted to get Lauren's clothes off as fast as she could and fuck her brains out, making the doctor forget everything that had happened that night to get her in such a state. Tamsin already knew what the doctor was crying about, something the succubitch said or did, and had had enough of Lauren crying over her. But she had to be nice, that's what normal, living people did.

Putting a hand on Lauren's shoulder and bending down to reach eye level she said, "Yes, I want to hear everything."

So their night was spent like that. Lauren telling her that Bo had been on a spree of picking up random fae dates at the Dal and taking them back to her place. Sometimes not even waiting, and doing it outside in the alleyway of the bar. Lauren told Tamsin that the reason she started crying was because Tamsin's whispered sentence to her reminded her too much of when Bo had said it. She told Tamsin, finally, that she wasn't one to get drunk so quickly and that it would never happen again.

"I needed something to impair my thinking so that I could do things I wouldn't normally do."

Tamsin knew Lauren's 'wouldn't normally do' consisted of having sex with someone she usually wouldn't but she chose another route and said, "Like spout out lame science pick-up lines in another woman's apartment?" Tamsin smiled snarkily as Lauren's face contorted in abashment.

"I-I mean, I-"

"Don't worry, Hotpants. I won't hold it against you." Tamsin patted Lauren's thigh as she got off from the couch. When Tamsin was listening patiently to Lauren for her to finish, she had begun to tidy up the files she had been reading without showing the doctor what they were. Thankfully, Lauren had been so enthralled in her own emotions, she hadn't noticed.

"I should probably… go."

Tamsin turned before she entered her kitchen and eyed the doctor. "Do you want to go, doc? I won't keep you here." The blonde's face contorted into one of shock and she wondered if she really should go. Tamsin overlooked them and said, "I make a mean peanut butter and jelly sandwich if you're hungry." She disappeared into the kitchen and didn't let Lauren answer.

Lauren sat alone in the small living room and she smiled to herself as she heard clanking of pans and a line of curses come from the kitchen. "Do you need me to help," Lauren called out after something hit the floor with a splat and Tamsin spoke harshly to it.

"I got this! Tell me one of your stupid pick-up lines," Tamsin shouted back.

Lauren's mind was far from clear from the alcohol coursing through her but she put her head back on the couch and tried to think. Smirking to herself she yelled, "You're a photon quanta to my valence electron. You excite me to another level!"

Tamsin had just come through the opening to the kitchen, and smiled wryly. "You're so damn cute when you do that." She set the plate onto the table in front of the couch and watched as Lauren looked at it, concern bubbling in her eyes.

"Tamsin… I don't think that's-"

"It's a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, now eat it."

Lauren smiled slightly and picked up the malformed sandwich. Closing her eyes and taking a bite out of it, her eyes were still closed when she smiled slightly. "Yeah, that's… peanuts alright." She looked up at Tamsin and tried to smile.

"Give me back my friendship sandwich," she said, bending down and trying to snatch the plate away.

"No!" Lauren pivoted her body to the left, hiding the plate from view. "I'll eat it and I'll like it."

"You little," Tamsin lunged at Lauren, and soon there were on the floor laughing and playfully wrestling. The plate, and the malformed sandwich, was somewhere on the floor but the two women didn't mind.

Somehow Lauren topped Tamsin and she leaned down and said, "If I was an endoplasmic reticulum, how would you want me? Hard," Lauren pressed down onto Tamsin's skin, sending slight scratches down her arm, "or soft?" She softened her touch and followed Tamsin's arm down with her fingers.

Tamsin growled and flipped Lauren onto her back. Their hips touched slightly and Tamsin leaned down, "You're so gonna get it tonight."

She saw Lauren's lips pull into a smile as the doctor said, "If you're an enzyme, I want to be your substrate. So I can get inside your active site."

Tamsin pounced.

fin