Adrenaline
By the time March rolls around, the streets of Crocus are free of snow and ice, but the weather is just as chilly. The wind rushes past Zeref's face as he steps into the building. He shivers when the hot air hits him, and he makes a note to wear a scarf next time he leaves his apartment.
"Discharged?" Zeref blinks at the receptionist. She is a smiling woman who looks far too frazzled to be at the front desk.
Even so, she smiles at him. "Yes, Miss Lockser was discharged just an hour or so ago."
"But I was told she'd be here?" Zeref had been to this hospital once before in January, doing his best to comfort Belno Lockser as her daughter laid comatose on the bed between them. The lobby lacks the Christmas decorations from last time, and it makes the place look far more impersonal. Zeref has always disliked hospitals, had always hated visiting his dad at work. "Mrs. Lockser said she wanted to see me."
Or her assistant had. Zeref had agreed, curious as to why she wanted to see him and no one else, considering she had never liked him. As a child, the woman had called him a moody brat as a joke, and he had never forgiven her for it.
"I'm afraid they're long gone, sir," the receptionist says as she eyes her computer screen. "But she did leave something. Your name?" The woman tilts her head.
"Zeref Dragneel." She nods, not even reacting to the name as she pulls up a drawer next to her. He feels his lips twitch, relieved at the level of anonymity being outside of Alvarez brings forth.
The receptionist hands him a white envelope, and Zeref leaves without much fanfare, ripping it open on his way to his car. Inside is a simple sheet of paper, METALICANA scrawled on the back. He frowns, the unfamiliar name giving him pause for a second before he unfolds it with a shrug. Merely peculiar, he thinks, until he turns over the paper.
It is not a letter, as Zeref expects, but a sketch. She is a woman with high cheekbones and thin hair, and although her image is done in charcoal, he remembers the russet hue of her skin, framed by the mourning black that is proper for funerals. This same woman had claimed to know his mother last January, when she had shown up at his parents' wake.
Zeref had not given her much thought back then, but his blood runs cold when he spots a second piece of paper—nothing more than a scrap—still inside the envelope.
Help me.
Less than a day later, Zeref meets Brandish at the airport, a smattering of tired-looking engineers dragging their feet behind her.
"So this is it, this is where you grew up?" She takes off her sunglasses, flicking her hair back as she does so. "It's hardly impressive." She is not loud by any means, but a couple to her right hears her and glares.
"I didn't grow up in the airport," Zeref shoots back, taking one of her suitcases from Brandish's overworked assistant. Some of the engineers make a half-hearted attempt to straighten up when they notice him, but Zeref knows most of them are beyond caring after such a long flight in Brandish's infuriating presence.
Brandish tsks before she updates him on the current state of the Visterion offices. "People are taking the move quite hard," she says, "but at least Dimaria is staying away." She huffs and mutters something that sounds like 'good riddance.'
Zeref keeps quiet, having years ago grown used to the two's rivalry. "Inbel?"
Brandish narrows her eyes, pouting. The click-clacking of her boots becomes louder as she half-stomps her feet as she walks. "He'll be arriving in a week. It's like you like him more than me."
Zeref purses his lips, not deigning her comment with an answer. He does not play favorites and who knows why the Spriggans care anyway? "Good. Evergreen can see you later in the day." The thought of Brandish and Evergreen meeting at last is part horrifying, part amusing, and Zeref has a vision of the two of them fighting over who got to force him to eat his breakfast.
In the parking lot, Brandish waves her entourage goodbye as she gets into Zeref's car. Zeref drives them to Ethereas HQ, where Mard Geer greets them upon entering.
He smiles at the man, doing his best not to cringe at the gold and red pattern of his tie. "Zeref!" A month ago, Mard Geer would have dragged him around the building, showing it off, but the man has grown recalcitrant since Zeref had made it clear he would be taking over the Crocus offices.
It is no surprise, then, when Mard Geer shifts his attention to Brandish, far more interested in the new arrival. "And Miss Brandish, what a pleasure to meet you at last!" He takes her hand in both of his own, shaking it with enthusiasm. Brandish coughs out a laugh, trying to jerk herself away.
Unperturbed, Mard Geer places his other hand on her shoulder, pulling her farther into the lobby.
Brandish throws Zeref a look over her shoulder, silently asking for help, but Zeref shrugs. Perhaps noticing, Mard Geer turns back, but Brandish's relief is short-lived.
"McGarden!" He snaps his fingers at a small blue-haired girl standing by the reception desk, who looks alarmed.
"Sir?" She straightens up, folding her hands in front of her. Zeref frowns, wondering if he had seen her before, but she is too young to have gone to school with him, and he has not met a lot of new people in Crocus since then.
"Please show Mr. Dragneel to his…" Mard Geer does his best to hide it, but Zeref can see how reluctant he is to say the word, "office." Zeref holds back a snort for politeness' sake, but he cares little about whatever Mard Geer feels about the move. The past three months have been hellish, and at some point he had stopped trying to soothe people's feathers.
When Zeref had seen those bloodstained socks in Natsu's laundry room, he had promised himself he would move back to Crocus. Any attempt to convince him otherwise had proved harmful in terms of career advancement.
"This way, Mr. Dragneel." The girl extends out an arm towards the elevator, but Zeref shakes his head.
"There's no need." He had come to drop off Brandish, well aware that she would want to start working as soon as possible. As for a tour, one glance at a map the next time he visits will be enough to memorize the layout. The girl frowns, so he adds, "I know my way around but I'm not staying anyway. I hope it isn't any trouble."
She looks like it will be trouble, and Zeref makes a mental note to talk to Mard Geer about being more polite to the people working under him. "Have a nice day," he adds as an afterthought, sparing her little thought after that.
The drive to his apartment is short, but to his vast surprise, he comes face to face with Yukino when he exits the elevator. He blinks, eyeing the bowl of ice cream in her hands.
"Mr. Dragneel." She nods at him, austere.
"Zeref, please." He does not question her presence, given that he can hear Natsu's shouting from where he stands. He finds him in the living room with Gray, both sitting on the sofa, playing an indie video game he does not care to identify. They are both furiously pushing buttons on their controls, and Zeref takes great pleasure in sneaking behind Natsu and setting a heavy hand on his shoulder.
Natsu jumps off the sofa, tumbling to the floor in a mess of blankets and limbs. Gray, although appearing surprised, takes his chance to kill Natsu's player before setting down his control, looking satisfied.
"Zeref!" Natsu's scream is muffled through the blankets. To his right, Gajeel gives an annoyed grunt and tears the fabric aside, pulling Natsu back into his seat by the collar.
"Thanks," Natsu hisses, glaring at Zeref. Gajeel does nothing but grumble, crossing his arms.
"You're jumpy," Zeref says with the same tone he uses to spout off facts.
"Of course I am," Natsu breathes out, "you came out of nowhere." He raises his head, his hand tugging at his scarf, climbing back onto the sofa. "It's not like you ever come back this early."
Zeref hums his assent, settling his hand on Natsu's shoulder once again. "What are you two playing?" He turns to look at Gray, whose reserved smile fades after a few minutes of video game discussion. Zeref is terrible at games, but he makes them and knows far more about the industry than most devoted fans, so it takes little effort to hold a conversation about most mainstream games.
Lucy enters the living room soon after, and the six of them settle down to watch Natsu and Gray fight each other, only for Lucy to destroy them both when they are done.
"Do you play?" she asks Zeref, sitting up straighter. He shakes his head, trying to put her at ease by smiling, but maybe Lucy misses it as she sinks back into her seat. Gajeel takes her up on her offer, though, and the next half an hour is spent watching Natsu and Gray cheering Lucy on despite their bruised egos.
He is glad to see Natsu happier than he had been during the holidays, but he finds no comfort in the way Natsu keeps his shoes on while everyone else paws around the carpet with just their socks on. Zeref keeps his eyes diverted, not wanting to look like he knows. There is so much Natsu does not know, so much Zeref cannot bear to say when he thinks of the pink line marking his shoulder, inconspicuous to anyone but Zeref himself.
They leave late at night: Zeref had made it a point to order dinner for them, knowing not a single one of them could make anything edible.
"Tell me next time you're coming over," he whispers to Natsu as everyone else files into the foyer.
Natsu's mouth settles into a grim line. "I just wanted to come over. Sorry if you were planning something else."
"It's fine," Zeref says, because it is fine. He had moved back to Crocus to spend time with Natsu. "Just tell me ahead of time, and the key—"
Natsu buries his hands inside his pockets, balancing himself on the balls of his feet. Zeref does his best to not let his eyes linger, but he wonders if they hurt or if it pains him to stand. "Yeah, yeah, give no one the key."
"Not even—"
Natsu interrupts him, holding up a hand in the universal sign for stop. "Not even Lucy or Yukino or Gajeel, I got it. You sure you want me to keep it?"
Zeref nods. "Yeah, if there's an emergency, just come here right away." Natsu's apartment has good security, but when Zeref had purchased it, his main concern had been its proximity to campus, not high-end security. Understandably, Zeref's penthouse is safer.
He waves at Natsu when he leaves, and once the door closes, Zeref ignores the way the place becomes colder, chastising himself for being emotional. He settles down in his study, spending the night typing in codes and ignoring how dry his throat feels without alcohol to keep him going.
The next day is peaceful, up until the clock hits noon and Brandish, being Brandish, strides into his office with little thought for his worn out secretary.
"It's lunchtime." She sets her palms on his desk, eyeing the stack of papers waiting for his signature with distaste.
"I'm really busy," Zeref protests, but one look is all it takes for him to give in and follow her out of his office, assuring his secretary he is not mad for letting Brandish storm past her. Once again, he reminds himself to talk to Mard Geer about why most employees in these offices think a toe out of line is enough to get them fired.
"The Alvarez food is better," Brandish says as they take the stairs, avoiding the crowded elevators.
Zeref's hand brushes against the banister, and much to his chagrin, he finds dust. "This place is gross," Zeref says under his breath.
Brandish shrugs. "Short notice and all, this is as good as we were going to get."
He scoffs. "There's a lot of restructuring to be done," he coughs, "especially with the executives. They're not as efficient as they should be."
"Fire them," Brandish sounds bored.
"Give me a month." The fact is people need to go because Mard Geer has been hiring the sort of people Zeref does not want around for the sake of productivity.
They meet a sea of people downstairs, milling around the outside of the cafeteria. The room itself is high-ceilinged and circular, with glass tables centered around the buffet. Aesthetically, it is Zeref's favorite part of the building by far, which is a pity, because after December, he had made it a point to avoid eating anywhere with frequency.
All this to prevent someone trying to drug—or poison—him.
The room is crowded with people in suits, very unlike the Ethereas campus in Alvarez, where the one tie in sight had always been Zeref's. He fits right in, but Brandish, who is wearing a sweater dress and flats, sticks out enough that a gaggle of executives notice them.
"This was a terrible idea," Zeref mutters.
Brandish glances at the throng of people heading their way. "Ew," she says, before walking in the opposite direction, not sparing him a glance.
The first person to reach him is a pretty twenty-something with long dark hair and a neck scarf. "Mr. Dragneel, it's a pleasure to finally meet you." She shows off very sharp teeth, and Zeref thinks this might be Brandish's idea of revenge.
He tries, at first, to convince them he had been planning on taking something to-go, but fifteen minutes of banal conversation later, he sits down with them, forced to entertain them for politeness' sake. There is also a tiny voice in his head that says meeting with them is worthwhile, if only to determine which one to fire and which one to keep in the future.
His lunch is hellish all the same, though, and an approximate five hours later, Zeref's phone rings. A quick glance at his iSorciere reveals a picture of Natsu's face, half-hidden by the scarf wrapped around his neck.
"Yes?" His eyes scan their way through the algorithm he had spent the best part of three hours tinkling with, distracted.
Natsu does not bother with greetings. "Do you know anything about Juvia? She checked out of the hospital and I don't know where she is." In the background, Zeref can hear a ragged voice, but he cannot tell apart the words and neither does he want to.
"What's that?" Zeref asks to deflect. How does he explain that sketch?
"It's Gray." Zeref frowns at Natsu's words, somewhat shocked, because his brother has never been so curt with him before. He almost sighs in relief when Natsu keeps talking, even if he sounds like he is on the verge of breaking something. "Do you know anything about her? The front desk lady said a guy came by yesterday to see her and I don't know who else—"
He breaks off, and Zeref has no choice but to speak. "I was there but they were gone by then." He leans back on his chair, rubbing at his tired eyes, before deciding to stretch his legs.
"And did the receptionist give you something?"
Zeref pauses, examining the length of his office. It is done up in warm tones and much smaller than he had been accustomed to in Alvarez, but it is passable for the time being. He examines the view from his windows as he contemplates what to tell Natsu, but decides honesty is best.
"Yes." The clouds are dark and stormy, which make Zeref feel nostalgic for Visterion's perpetual summery heat as he walks towards them. Rain hits the window in a cacophony of sound, making it almost impossible to see beyond.
"Oh, good." Natsu sighs with relief. "We're thinking this may have been a mistake. The letter was for Gray—"
"No," Zeref says, deadpan.
Natsu pauses. "But—Gray's Juvia's boyfriend, Mrs. Lockser probably left some contact information."
"She didn't." The raindrops slide down the glass, making paths as they glide down. He follows one with the tip of his finger, just like he had done as a child. His mother had called it a bad habit when he had been younger, but she had stopped berating him for it as he grew older and she realized it was Zeref's own way of de-stressing.
Just like drinking had been for her.
Just like drinking is now for him.
"Can we see the letter anyway? She wouldn't have taken Juvia without leaving some contact information." Natsu sounds impatient.
"It wasn't a letter," Zeref whispers. He feels like someone is digging a hole in the middle of his chest and rummaging around. It is rare to see rain in Visterion, so much that he had forgotten what is feels like to trace the raindrops.
It had once felt good, but now he bites his lip, trying to forget the burning at the back of his throat.
"Well, what was it, then? I think it's much more likely Mrs. Lockser left something to Gray, no offense."
Zeref snorts. The sound shatters the strange trance-like, self-pitying moment. "It was for me, Natsu, and I think you should see it too." He turns away from the rain—from his troubled childhood—and continues, "But it's not for Gray, I can tell you that much."
He hangs up, ignoring Natsu's spluttered protests, and it is not surprising when his phone rings almost as soon as he sets it back on his desk, but he ignores it.
It is just as unsurprising to hear his secretary knock on his door a quarter of an hour later.
"Let him in," Zeref orders, and Natsu barges into his office like a man bent on throttling him, Yukino and Gajeel much more sedate behind him.
It had taken Zeref less than five minutes to realize that his office was not the place to talk to Natsu about such sensitive information, and so the two had ended up in Natsu's apartment, with Natsu draped on the bed while Zeref took the desk chair. His brother is lying down on his back, knees bent at the edge of the mattress and bare feet touching the floor.
Zeref thinks about the lengths he himself had gone to hide his self-harm. Natsu keeps the soles of his feet uncovered but turned away from him, which makes Zeref hyperaware of the uncomfortable way his brother shifts his limbs.
He suspects this is Natsu's way of throwing him off, which tells him Natsu thinks Zeref knows something. This is such a Natsu thing to do, to risk discovery in exchange for possibly getting Zeref off his back. Sometimes he wonders where Natsu gets so much confidence from, but then this is not confidence: it is desperation.
He should have talked to Natsu about the cutting a long time ago, Zeref knows, but he cannot bring himself to. The day before he had left in January, he had stood in front of Natsu's door for what had felt like hours. After, he had gone back to his room and stared at the wall, fingers tracing the scar on his neck as if it could make things better.
There are demons he needs to face before he tries to help Natsu, and then there will be consequences to accept. Natsu has always looked at Zeref as the very image of self-controlled efficacy. Zeref is terrified of shattering that ideal, afraid that admitting it would mean giving into the depression, the drinking, the cutting.
"So this woman," Natsu says, throwing a tennis ball high in the air with a flick of his wrist, "was at our parents' wake?"
Zeref watches the ball. It loses momentum and drops back into Natsu's hand, only to be flicked back into the air. "She was there late in the afternoon. You weren't there." They had both been far too exhausted to stand over two corpses for a whole day, all while people cried to them and asked for details with gossip-hungry eyes.
Zeref had been numb enough to stand it. Natsu had not, so he had left early.
"And now you think she… kidnapped Juvia and her mom?" Natsu's voice is hesitant, but it is not skeptical. It sounds ridiculous to Zeref, to voice aloud thoughts of kidnappings and murder, but there is enough evidence for it to be viable.
"I think she was looking for you." Zeref had known very few of his parents' acquaintances, but the woman in the sketch had stood out enough that he had noticed her almost as soon as she walked in.
Natsu flicks the ball back into the air, but this time it hits the ceiling and slams back into Natsu's hand. Instead of throwing it back into the air, Natsu lets his arm fall to the side, and the ball rolls across the bed until it falls off. "Did she say anything?"
Zeref taps his fingers on the cover of one of Natsu's textbooks. "She didn't seem to know who I was."
Natsu snorts. "Not a techy, I guess."
Zeref musters a smile. "No," he agrees, "but she was very surprised to see me. That means no stalking." Mom and dad had always bragged about him, even when he had been just a thirteen-year-old winning the district's science fair.
"Okay, but if there was no stalking, it means it wasn't personal, and if it wasn't personal, why would she go after me?" Natsu sits up and runs a hand through his hair, ruffling it. "Why would she go after the Locksers?"
Zeref frowns. It is the one piece of the puzzle that does not fit, but the woman is suspicious anyway. Better to be safe than sorry.
"I wouldn't know." Zeref stands up, knotting his hands together and raising his arms to stretch. The he leans down to picking up the discarded tennis ball. He makes a derisive sound, resisting the urge to tell Natsu to clean his room.
He places the ball on top of Natsu's bedside table, besides a fragile-looking sculpture of a clock tower. Zeref's eyes are drawn to the frame next to it, eyes widening. He picks it up, scanning the picture. At some point in between the last time Zeref had been in this room and today, Natsu had changed their family shot.
Instead of Juvia's accidentally artful portrait, there is a crisp picture of Natsu, Lucy, Mavis and who Zeref thinks may be Yury Dreyar. Natsu has his arms wrapped around Lucy, who looks mortified as she tries not to spill the drink she has in her hand. Mavis' profile is next to her cousin, one hand covering her mouth but doing nothing to hide her mirth. Yury has one arm wrapped around Mavis' shoulder, a broad grin on his face.
Zeref cannot help but stare. He had not seen Yury in years, and he had tried not to think about Mavis in Alvarez, but he feels a mass of emotions he does not want to think about welling up in him at the sight. There is no reason for him to be jealous—no logical reason—and yet he is. He dismisses the feeling as soon as he recognizes it, half-amused to see something so trivial draw such a distinct reaction from him.
He shakes his head, trying to physically get rid of the feeling. He looks at Natsu, who has a sober expression on his face. He holds out his hand, and Zeref places the frame on it without a word. Natsu drops his eyes to look at it, his face turning grim. "I feel like no one smiles like this anymore."
Zeref purses his lips. He cannot say he has ever smiled much, but of course he has been more miserable than usual the past few months. What is most striking is how Natsu never laughs these days, but Zeref does not say that.
Natsu stares into the frame for a second more, and then raises his head, a small smile making its face into his face. "This is your sweater, you know." Zeref blinks, not following, so he continues, "You were looking for it three months ago?" When Zeref does not react, Natsu sighs. "You were looking for it for hours and you don't even remember."
Zeref scowls. He has always had a terrible memory, and Natsu had always made sure to rub it in when they were younger. "Right," he says, vague memories of a conversation with Jellal coming to him.
Natsu shakes his head but doesn't comment. "But it's this one, I think. Didn't mom pick it up when you were at that fancy conference?"
Zeref shrugs. He had wondered if Mavis had taken it after looking for the same sweater in Visterion, but he had decided there was a higher chance that he had forgotten it in Magnolia. He does not want to think about Mavis at all, and talking about that night with Natsu is just awkward in so many ways. "I don't care," he says, but he does.
It matters more than ever before because she is wearing the thing. She had probably worn it when she had left Natsu's apartment that night, and for some reason she had not buried it in some dark crevice of her closet like Zeref would have.
Natsu snorts, sounding like he does not believe a word coming out of Zeref's lips.
To be fair, Zeref does not believe them either, but he maintains a calm façade as he exits the room, Natsu shooting him a concerned look as he trails behind him, tiptoeing.
In the living room, Gajeel sits on the sofa, arms crossed over his chest and one booted foot on the edge of the coffee table. Zeref stops, abrupt, and Natsu almost crashes into him as a result. One glare is all it takes for Gajeel to get a hint, and he drops his foot with an uncharacteristically sheepish look on his face.
Zeref sniffs, eyes roving over the scuffed wood, cringing at the state in which Gray and Natsu maintain this place. While Zeref had always needed to have everything around him be neat and tidy, Natsu had never had such an urge—and neither had Gray, it looks like.
"Is everything alright?" Yukino steps into the room from behind Natsu. Her voice is forced, but Zeref notices the strain under it. She flips her phone shut as she sighs and drops into an armchair.
"Did Sting pick up?" Gajeel says, tapping his fingers against his knee. They are both a nervous wreck from Belno's sketch. It is a wonder Zeref is so calm, but it is not like he is afraid of dying at the hands of a drug cartel.
Yukino nods. "I've sent the scan to Sting, but I doubt he'll have anything for us for a couple of days." She leans forward, picking up Belno's sketch, unfolding it while everyone watches her.
"Metalicana, then? No one's ever gotten a look at her." Natsu glances at Natsu while the two of them talk, finding him looking just as lost.
Yukino tsks. "I don't know about that. I feel like I've seen her before."
Gajeel frowns. "Maybe."
Natsu rests his back against a wall, both feet planted firmly on the floor despite his shaking leg. "Is that her, though?"
"We can't know that for sure, but people will be on the lookout for her now." Gajeel cracks his knuckles. "She's supposed to be the head of a Boscian drug ring. How the hell did a Fiorean housewife get a hold of her name?"
"Her name?" Zeref asks, not bothering to correct Gajeel. Belno had been—weird how he already thinks about her in past tense—an artist, not a housewife.
"Most people know her as just the Metal Dragon," Yukino explains, a grave expression on her face. She folds the sketch with careful hands, as if she thinks it is precious—which it may be. "Metalicana is kept hush-hush by police, but Sting owes me." She sighs. "It's hard to believe that this just fell into your hands. The Boscian government has been after her for decades."
Zeref narrows his eyes. It has crossed his mind that the sketch is a trap of some sort, but it is not like he can ignore it. Belno may have made the sketch, but there is a chance she and Juvia are dead. "Let's hope it's reliable." He crosses the room, taking his jacket from the back of a chair, more than considering the conversation over.
Yukino and Gajeel both shoot up, alarm on their faces. The exchange one quick glance before Gajeel speaks up. "You can't leave alone."
Zeref shrugs into his jacket. "Look, nothing will happen to me." Yukino opens her mouth to speak, but he cuts her off. "I was in Alvarez for months and nothing happened to me. She's not interested in me."
Gajeel steps forward. Zeref sends him a sharp look, as if daring him to block the exit. Gajeel holds his hands up, sitting back down as if by reflex, but Yukino does not waste any time grabbing the back of Zeref's jacket and half-throwing him into her vacated seat.
Zeref gasps, shocked, but she sends him a sharp look. "I'll go get my things. You can't leave here alone."
Zeref starts to protest, Gajeel joining in. "Maybe I should go with him, Aguria. That guy," he points his chin at Zeref, "moves around more than flame brain does, so it's harder to be prepared."
Yukino raises her chin, looking down her nose at Gajeel. "I think," she says, voice glacial, "I can handle myself. Don't let him leave."
Zeref has no doubt she can handle herself as she stalks out into the hallway.
That night his dreams are erratic, shifting between things that had happened before and things his mind conjured out of thin air.
"A year," Zeref's dad had told him in his dream, sitting behind his desk with his hands in his hair, echoing a scene that had played years ago. "Give it a year and if you don't like it, you can go."
His mom stands behind him, hands resting on his shoulders, but when Zeref looks at her, her lined faced morphs into her corpse's. It is the same as the day he had found her dead, but now her corpse opens her eyes, raising itself on its elbows with a jerk of its arms.
"Come," it whispers, voice like nails on a chalkboard.
"Stop," he says, but no sound comes out of his mouth. The corpse makes to leave the bed. Zeref sprints out, crashing into the nearest room and locking the door behind him.
The bathroom is hot enough that he can feel the moisture in the air, the mirrors fogged up to his left. When before he had been voiceless, there is nothing in the world that can stop the scream ripping out of Zeref's throat at the sight of Natsu's head floating above water dyed red with blood.
Zeref's vision fades into black before it is blasted with light from above. He is tied to a chair, wrists bound behind the back of it, but he stops struggling when he spots the dim figure standing mere feet away from him.
She has her back to him, long blonde hair falling in waves down to the middle of her back. She is dressed in a white nightgown, but when she turns around he can see the blood splattered down her front and trailing down her arms to reach the tips of her fingers, dripping to the floor.
One look at him is all it takes to make the girl burst into tears, her knees giving out beneath her as sobs wrack her body, and Zeref wakes up screaming.
Zeref is still shaking on the bed when Yukino bursts into his room, a gun held up in front of her. He backs into his headboard, having forgotten all about her, and tries to control his breathing.
She does not lower the gun until they have turned the lights on. Yukino figures out what had happened without needing to be told. He had not wanted her—or anyone—to find out about the nightmares, but here they are. "Is this about Metalicana?"
Zeref does not even have the energy to muster up a bitter smile. "No," he says because he does not want to volunteer anything more. This is embarrassing enough as it is, and he can't even look at her. "Please just forget about it."
It is the height of irony that Yukino ignores him because for some reason people always believe Zeref's lies and ignore him when he is honest. Maybe it is one of those things that make life infuriating.
"We don't know that she's after you," Yukino tells him. Zeref snorts because Yukino would not have insisted on accompanying Zeref if she had thought Metalicana is only after Natsu.
"Okay." She is right, though. Even though he had made sure to never go anywhere alone in Alvarez so as to lower the risk of getting kidnapped or worse, not appointing any bodyguards for himself had been his way of drawing a blank on his back.
Better Zeref than Natsu.
"Do you want breakfast?"
Zeref shakes his head. "I'll make it." He had heard the horror stories from Natsu. The one thing he knows for certain about Yukino is that he should never let her attempt to cook.
She looks relieved when she leaves his room, maybe at the thought of not cooking, maybe at the fact that there had been no intruders in Zeref's room trying to kill him.
It takes him fifteen minutes to get ready, but by the time he is dressed he decides he is sick and should skip work. It is, of course, not so much being sick as being sick because of the medication he had taken yesterday. It feels a bit like a hangover, except it is not, because it is caused by withdrawal, not indulgence.
Zeref had never thought he had been addicted until he had made a conscious decision to stop drinking. He had always thought of it as a productivity enhancer, hut his psychiatrist had said it had been his way to alleviate his anxiety via self-medication. The thought is humiliating.
He had never taken the pills the man had prescribed until yesterday, but he had not wanted Yukino to know about his nightmares, so he had given in out of self-preservation. It is ironic, then, that the meds had brought forth one of the worst nightmares he remembers having.
He tries not to think about it as he makes breakfast for himself and Yukino, but his mother's face haunts him, and in the end he thinks about Mavis, covered in blood and crying. It is the least disturbing part of his nightmare, but she is ever-present at the most unfortunate times.
The phone rings as Yukino finishes setting the table (Zeref insists on that kind of thing all the time). "Can you…?" She nods, wordless, as he brings out the maple syrup.
The waffles are almost done, so he sets about cutting the strawberries. Distracted, he wonders if Natsu is having anything for breakfast, or if Gajeel and Natsu are already at each other's throats without Yukino there to keep them from fighting.
So distracted that his mind does not register he is moving until the right side of his face is pushed against the cool surface of his refrigerator.
"Yu-kino?" Zeref cannot move his arms and what is worse, the body behind him is not that of a girl's.
The man is gigantic, easily a foot taller than Zeref, and one of his bulging arms is holding him down, but the other is by his neck, holding a needle. The sting is sharp, perhaps made more painful due to the way he struggles. "Calm down, kid" the man says, voice raspy and urgent.
Zeref struggles to breathe. "What—why-y?" How had he gotten past Yukino?
He has trouble formulating any words as his mind clouds up, whatever sedative had been in that needle spreading through his bloodstream. He takes a deep breath, stops struggling, forcing himself to remain still despite his panic.
Much to Zeref's relief, his soon-to-be kidnapper releases him, thinking the sedative has done its job, as Zeref had hoped he would.
Without giving himself any chance to hesitate, Zeref jerks himself back, hitting the marble counter behind him. "This didn't have to be unpleasant, boy." The man narrows his eyes at Zeref, lunging at him, but with the last of his strength, Zeref takes the knife he had set down minutes ago.
And plunges it in the man's hand.
But when he wakes, it is to a cool hand touching his cheek.
It is a struggle to open his eyes, but the first thing he sees is soft blonde hair at the corner of his vision, followed by pale skin and glass-like green eyes.
"Can you hear me?" Her voice is a whisper, a small sound he does his best to understand.
Zeref blinks his eyes, trying to put together a face and a name. Her face is not even clear, either. Instead, she is blurred by the light haloing her head.
"W—" he tries before forcing himself to clear his throat. "Who—?" That, he thinks, must be enough for the girl to understand.
Much to his disappointment, however, she does not answer him. "Natsu will be here soon."
"But who—?" Zeref narrows his eyes, hoping to get a better picture of her. The movement makes pain stab behind his eyes, drawing a groan from him.
Her hand brushes his hair back, but then she takes it away, and pulls back completely. "Sorry, I'll be going now."
"Don't." He almost cannot hear himself, but when he tries to speak up, his throat burns. He settles for watching her go in silence, heart almost coming to a standstill when she stops by the door to glance back at him.
"Feel better," Mavis says, then leaves, and Zeref just knows he does not want this happening ever again.
AN: So is this the actual chapter or in honor of April Fool's…? Hmmm?
I really do apologize for the lack of Zervis up until now. Next chapter you'll see a lot of Mavis and Zeref interacting, it's just taken a really long time to get to this point in-story. I hope the scene at the end is enough to make up for the lack of Mavis in here.
Please do remember to review. It really helps me write this story faster and quality suffers when I don't feel motivated. Even a simple "love this" is better than just saying nothing, so if you can, please review. If you don't have an account, you can leave a guest review or if you have a tumblr you can leave me an ask on my tumblr hera-96 about it. Your reviews really do make my day, they don't bother me, and I love it when people ask questions about it so you're welcome to do that if you feel like it.
You don't know what to say? Tell me what made you read this story/what you liked/what you think will happen/any headcanons. Tell me how it made you feel, etc. Just don't think that your review will disappoint me or that I don't like knowing what you think. I do, and really, it keeps me going. It's very disappointing to work on a chapter for weeks only to see three reviews a chapter, especially when I look at the view counter and see how many people are reading vs how many are reviewing. I've had people tell me they don't review because English isn't their first language but it's not my first language either so if you can, please, please review.
The impression I get every time I update is that 95% of people reading this story don't care and don't like it, which is obviously very demotivating.
Just please, if you enjoy this story, make an effort to tell me. It gets harder and harder to write as the story progresses because I have to fit a lot of content in very few words. It would really, really help if I got some feedback.
Thank you, and I hope you enjoyed the chapter.