It's been a while but I haven't forgotten this story. A huge thank you to Black' Victor Cachat for their continued support. If you're not already reading their stories, check them out.
Rooftop Conversations – chapter four
It takes them almost two weeks after Steve and Natasha arrive to compile an inventory for missing SHIELD equipment and weapons they believe HYDRA pilfered in the ensuing chaos when SHIELD fell. The sheer amount of information they managed to retrieve was astounding especially considering it barely scratched the surface. Soon after starting to sort through their bounty it became apparent some of the undercover HYDRA agents tried to purge SHIELD's system, so they went through what they had as well as Tony's initial hack when they were aboard when they first met. After exhausting that information, they relied on Steve and Natasha's first-hand knowledge.
Maria Hill joined them shortly after, seeking refuge under the guise of a new Stark employee like the rest of them behind the protection of Tony's army of lawyers. She was a good addition, she was able to access documents hidden in SHIELD's archives as her security clearance was higher than Natasha's and Steve's. That was a point of underlying tension but one no one broached the subject; Tony had been, till now at least, unusually restrained when it came to overlooking the edgy atmosphere. Including this morning when they were roused by an early alert from JARVIS to say Hill wanted to see them all in the briefing room.
Bruce taps his pen lightly on the table top as he waits for the meeting to start. His eyes dart around the room as he waits for Hill to start the meeting. Stark's moonlighting head of HR was currently out in the hall talking into her phone. Her back is to the glass partition preventing any of them from reading her lips or eavesdrop on her conversation. Apparently, something else happened in the middle of the night and Fury's former second in command deemed it necessary to call them together to give them the news instead of the letting them hear from someone else. He's as curious as the rest of the team but he's in no rush to receive more bad news.
He had no idea what to expect but assumed it would be a lot like the military briefings he attended before his accident, albeit in a more affluent setting. Tony stands to one side of the room with his attention on his see-through interface, ready to take the chair next to him when it starts. Natasha slides into the chair on the other side of him, meeting his eyes with a neutral expression as she settles opposite Barton who takes the chair next to Thor. She doesn't hold his eyes for long as she notices the documents in front of her space and reaches for it. It's also to avoid any unnecessary conversation. She doesn't usually shy away from the team, she has no issue teasing each and every one of them much to their embarrassment, but he's aware the briefing reminds her of SHIELD and it's still at the forefront of her mind, still quite fresh for her and she tends to be quieter when it's bought up in conversation.
Bruce tries not to stare as it'll bring more unwanted attention. He can't help another glance as Barton draws his focus from the other side of the table. Stepping in for his partner, Bruce realises instantly as he sees the grey gaze staring back at him, "How've you been Banner?"
They are the only words the archer ever says to him. Barton has only been back to the Tower twice since the battle, he took an extended break from SHIELD after what Loki did to him. Bruce couldn't blame him, though he doubts it was all to do with Thor's brother. They were all satisfied with how he was dealt with. In fact, Bruce suspects it was probably cover for a covert mission. No one really knows where, and Tony keeps trying to goad to him into placing a wager. From his own observations during the debriefings days after the battle, the former SHIELD agent adapted quickly or at least he appeared to.
"Good, considering," Bruce replies with a shrug. Barton accepts his answer with an understanding nod and a quick lift of his eye brows, much like Natasha's but without the sarcasm behind it. "How about you?"
"Considering retirement," Barton replies and it's hard to tell if he's joking because Natasha doesn't balk at the idea let alone react, not even a look in the archers' direction. "But duty calls."
Bruce accepts his answer with a thoughtful nod and like that the conversation is over as Barton turns his attention to Thor, who, to Bruce, looks out of place in a dark blue hoodie, white tee and jeans. A few minutes pass and as Hill steps in he feels Natasha's eyes on him but when he furtively checks, her position hasn't changed. He knows it's not his imagination, she's as sharp as usual.
Behind them Tony puts his interface away and clear his throat. "You all know her but I'd like to introduce the newest member of the HR team, AKA the person who will be dealing with every problem my employees have, Maria." She scowls at him but he rambles on regardless. "Feel free to email any problems you have with me to yourself," Tony tacks on as he steps aside for Hill to take his place at the head of the table.
"Or Pepper," Natasha provides helpfully provides. Tony pauses his descent into the chair, his face resembling something akin to panic as he looks to Hill to confirm with a quick bob of his head before dropping into his seat.
"HYDRA raided the Fridge last night," Hill declares without preamble or indulging Tony and Natasha's attempt at levity.
As she takes in the raised eyebrows and exasperated gasps echoing around the room, Bruce notes the irritation they all feel is reflected in her expression. From his limited knowledge of their facilities, the Fridge was a stronghold in the security. It's the one of the few places they were confident that could withstand an attack. HYDRA isn't as ineffective as they presumed, organising subsequent attacks before what remained of SHIELD could get reinforcements to assist with securing what was left of their bases.
If the tension he feels reeling off Natasha is any indication of the seriousness of the situation, Bruce begins to really worry as she stiffens next to him and he frowns at the sudden squaring of her shoulders; this news is difficult for her to hear. Soon after arriving she admitted she hates feeling useless and unable to help the agents who were striving to protect the facilities HYDRA hasn't raided. At one-point Bruce thought she might leave to join them but she hasn't yet. She's been antsy, not really sure what she wants to do. While the military had secured known facilities, remaining members of SHIELD were more paranoid than ever, unsure who was who even among their own ranks and were unwilling outsource the safety of their remaining resources. Not that Bruce blames them, he knows exactly what military involvement is like.
"What did they take?" Steve asks.
The question has become standard over the last few weeks and Bruce knows the answer will be more devastating than the others; if the Fridge had the strictest security protocols, then it must have housed the worst of the worst.
"They freed prisoners we deemed highly dangerous-."
"Who deemed them dangerous and why?" Bruce cuts in with a frown.
"The World Security Council because of what they were capable of, majority of them have meta abilities or were interested in using those who have," Hill answers smoothly. "Also weapons we were studying, including the Peruvian 0-8-4 and the Berserker staff," Maria Hill said. "I'm being called in front of Congress to explain because we said they were destroyed."
Bruce rolls his eyes at the last bit, a sentiment he knows is shared amongst those seated at the table. As a scientist, he understands the appeal of studying new technology but these aren't average run of the mill weapons these dangerous enough to lie about and that's never a good thing. Either side of him, Natasha and Tony seem unsurprised, same with Barton. Steve's muscles flex under his shirt as he shakes his slightly. What's another cover up to add to the list which is steadily growing?
Then Bruce turns his attention to the man opposite him. Thor's head had tilted toward the brunette at the mention of the last weapon which Bruce never heard of before. "Asgard allowed the staff to remain here with assurances as a sign of good faith," the God pointed out, his features hardening. "What of the sceptre Loki used?"
Uh oh.
SHIELD's former deputy director straightens under their scrutiny. "It went missing from another facility; intel suggests one of the scientists working on it was recruited by HYDRA when we refused him a field position." She finishes the sentence with a slight grimace befalling her usually schooled features.
"If you didn't deem him worthy, why was he allowed near the sceptre?" Comes Thor's low response, his deep baritone echoing through the room.
"Because he was a good scientist," Hill defends refusing to wilt under the veiled warning.
Asgardians were generous enough to allow them to keep hold of the weapons as it went a long way to establishing an allegiance between the two worlds but none of them know Thor well enough to predict how he will react to the news. The repercussions could be devastating if the Asgardians took offence of losing their weapons. Whether or not they had permission to study the sceptre was another matter entirely. Bruce held his breath as he waited.
"Having such power contained often tempts our enemies to take it from us," the God says with more understanding than the others expect. At their astounded expressions he shrugs, "Many have tried to penetrate my father's vault to liberate weapons to use against us in battle." He refocuses on Hill. "I shall help you retrieve them and return to them to Asgard. Though if anyone from Midgard wishes to study our weapons in the future I must insist they are supervised by Banner or Stark, as I deem them worthy to fight beside."
Bruce is strangely honoured by the compliment and the prospect of studying alien technology. He knows the same thoughts are running through Tony's mind as he perks up at the mention of his name.
Before either of them could respond to Thor, Hill brings them back to the topic at hand. "We've discovered a network of cells but can't pinpoint them all. We're monitoring militant groups and a few questionable governments for descriptions of the weapons. We think HYDRA will try to sell the specs. It's a quick way to make money and we don't know how the arrests have affected their funding."
Steve lifts his head. "And SHIELD?"
"Depleted," the commander admits. "We don't have the same ground support we used to. Not only because of defections, but with international government investigations still ongoing, we have to operate under public radar."
Bruce isn't the only one who picks up on the tiny inflection in her voice as he realises what's coming next. Around the room they all sit up a fraction, their eyes never leaving the soldier as they wait for her to ask for their help.
"With the weapons they've stolen this could escalate into a global incident quickly. SHIELD can't do anything publicly but someone has to be the face of this."
"You mean us," Tony cuts in before she can explain it in any other way.
"You're not obligated in any way," Hill doesn't deny or look ashamed for asking. "But you have to distance yourself from SHIELD."
"Why?" Steve frowns.
"We're still fighting HYDRA from the inside so the Avengers can't be tainted with further association to SHIELD. Till we find them all, I will be your only liaison. You're not needed right away, but we need to know if you'll be ready when you are."
"You want us on standby?" Steve frowns at the implication of waiting to join the fight against HYDRA. "What do you expect us to do till then?"
Bruce feels bad for the soldier. Most of the people in the room have lives outside of the job. Tony has a company to run, Thor splits his time between Jane and Asgard, Natasha seems content with taking some time out for now, though Bruce doubts that will last long, and Barton disappears… somewhere. Bruce, himself, as well as working in Research and Development for Tony, is now able to return to some of the research he abandoned after his accident after moving into the Tower.
They have stuff to keep them busy.
Steve's life is centred around the good fight, working with SHIELD is one of the few things which helped him ease back into the new world after decades on ice. Without it Steve has been like a lost little boy and he won't do well with being benched. Especially if it hinders his search for his missing childhood friend; Bruce found it hard to wrap his mind around that one even after Steve explained Bucky's situation. Instead of voicing his concern over the possible and likely outcome of that particular endeavour, Bruce wished Steve luck as he wouldn't have listened to Bruce's warnings. He is too blinkered by the idea of saving Bucky, that he doesn't accept it'll be twice as hard for his friend to adjust than it was for him, even if they find a way to break his programming.
"To go on with your lives," Hill shrugs in a way which to everyone else would seem a little half-hearted and lacks compassion. Bruce knows she understands Steve's plight but she has no other suggestion to offer because she's still part of the fight. At Steve's frown, Hill promises, "It's precautionary and won't last long. We can't afford to make any mistakes with everything that's happening. If Congress gets an inkling of us working together, we're likely to be thrown into a deep dark hole. We need a reason to be speaking to each other, hence the cover of working for Stark."
"Cover?!" Tony's indignant question breaks the thick air in the room and brings a smirk to Bruce's face and he shares a conspiratorial glance with Natasha, her eyes lighting up at Hill's eye roll response. Even Barton pushes out a humorous huff from across the table. "I do expect actual HR work," he informs her and the commander cocks her head to the side at the billionaire. "Just ask Red, she had to 'assist' when she infiltrated my company to be a lousy assistant."
"Correction, I was a great assistant Stark and you were lucky to have me," Natasha interjects. "The worst thing about that assignment was that I couldn't kill you at the end of it."
"Yeah, and that's why I haven't offered you another job," Tony retorts without missing a beat.
That makes Barton crack and the archer smoothly smothers his smirk with his hand. Aside from Hill Steve is the only one of the Avengers unamused by Tony's jokes. "If we're going to work together, I would like to set down some ground rules," Steve says to the group while looking at Tony. "To curb inappropriate behaviour."
"Why are you looking at me when you say 'inappropriate'?" Tony says then gestures past Bruce at Natasha. Bruce follows the arm and sees her tilt her head with an eyebrow regally arched, perfectly juxtaposed between interested and daring Tony to finish his joke. "She's the one trying to hook you up with every available girl who swoons over you."
"'Hook you up'? I have never heard this expression before," Thor addresses Steve. "Lady Natasha is attempting to suspend you with a woman at a great height from a hook?"
Bruce pats Tony's back when he nearly chokes on the sip of water he just drank while Natasha welcomes Thor's assumption with a wink and a downright dangerous smile. "Sounds like the kind of date I'd set him up on," she admits.
"Stop encouraging her," Steve groans shaking his head at the red head.
Barton takes pity on Thor's misunderstanding and leans over to whisper an explanation. Understanding dawns on Thor's face as he looks at Steve again. "I am sorry Captain but I find your dilemma highly entertaining. If you're having trouble finding a mate I'm sure Jane has a few friends I could introduce you to. I've only met Darcy so far but I'm sure she'll be amenable to the idea as she's previously complimented your physique."
The offer is made so seriously it's hard to tell if he's joking or not but that doesn't appear to matter as the blush spreads across Steve's face as he groans and looks beyond Thor in an attempt to engender Barton's support but the archer shakes his head. "Sorry Cap, you're on your own with this one."
Then Steve looks over at Bruce but he can only shrug, they would be out voted even if Bruce didn't find it funny.
"To sum up, all rules against Romanoff, or anyone else," Tony adds when Thor coughs lightly. "Playing Cupid are vetoed," Tony clarifies having regained composure.
"I'm just asking for some professionalism," Steve insists. "Our disagreements can get out of hand quickly and some guidelines will help with swift resolution. I think we'd all appreciate a way to do that without fighting each other."
"You expect all of us to play by the same rules so we don't kill each other?" Tony challenges.
"Yes," Steve answers.
"Veto," Natasha says into Bruce's ear but loud enough for everyone else to hear.
Natasha's veto was vetoed.
Bruce stands alone on the roof hours later after they hashed out the 'legionnaire' for them all to abide. It took a lot of arguing, mostly between Steve and Tony over semantics because the latter wanted to test the other mans' patience. The meeting ended when Hill stepped in to play referee when the rest of them refused to, content to watch the two argue.
There was a general agreement they were all willing to help when needed without anyone really voicing it. Bruce remained quiet, preferring to let Tony and Steve take the groups' focus, while he processed what they were asking of him and the Other guy, and whether or not if he is ready for it. This isn't the same battle which happened months ago where he stands now. They won't be fighting massive aliens equipped with weapons no one had seen before; they will be fighting humans no matter what their beliefs or intentions are.
"You don't agree with Hill, do you?" Natasha says as she appears at his side. He only notices the cups in her hands when she holds one out to him. "I made you tea."
"Thanks," he replies looking his cup and then her coffee; he knows she isn't fond of his blend but she has taken to joining him for the occasional cup of an evening when they sit out here long after the sun goes down. "My problem is that I do agree with her." That's the hardest part for him to accept, he understands the principle. HYDRA need to be stopped, and while SHIELD needs help, this solution seems like overkill to him. He glances at her out of the corner of his eye before sighing. "I don't like being at the beck and call of an agency who decides who to kill."
"The government is cutting all ties and trying to save their own ass in this mess. They'll back the Avengers because the public love us." At his questioning look she amends, "Most of the public love us. We're a solution."
"We should have a say in this rather than follow instructions from someone we never meet. What happens if they hold back vital information?"
"Going in blind is always a risk but there are ways around that. Between JARVIS, Stark, you, and me, we can access all the information we need." She stops and he senses the change in her demeanour. "I know this feels like you'll be giving up on everything you've tried to prevent, just think about the alternative," Natasha supplies, summing up his feelings perfectly.
He's given up pondering how she manages to put words to his thoughts so succinctly. Instead he wonders, "What gave me away?"
"You were too quiet," she says softly turning her head. He's about to argue that he's always quiet but her mouth quirks indulgently in a way which silences any argument he has. "More than usual. You never let a difficult topic stop you from voicing your opinion. None of us missed you hiding behind Steve and Stark bickering."
"Does my silence automatically draft me into this war?" He asks testily.
"No but that doesn't stop you from thinking about it," Natasha replies calmly. "You just don't want to admit you were thinking about before she asked."
"Still deciding what I can offer," Bruce admits.
"I know it's been on your mind and now you have an undetermined looming deadline, you're panicking." He just nods; the way she can read him has always been slightly disconcerting. "You don't need to Bruce. What else is bothering you?"
"I'm still not comfortable being around civilians and there is no way to guarantee we won't be."
"You'll be there to help them."
"Do good intentions trump the loss of innocent life?" Bruce muses thoughtfully and her eyes dim a touch. "It's not just my involvement Natasha," he tells her. "It's who's directing our involvement. Do we get to read their files? Do we have a say in that?"
"I'm not going to lie to you, full accountability is going to be on our shoulders. The government will deny all knowledge as soon as we mess up. Hill is trying to put positive spin on this, give people hope," even Natasha doesn't seem to be buying it. "The Avengers give people hope."
"We're a marketing tool," Bruce argues unhappy with the prospect of being a scape goat. "If we manage to track HYDRA down and stop them SHIELD will re-emerge for public recognition."
"We need all the help we can get Bruce, but rebuilding takes time especially when they don't know who is loyal," Natasha says a little defensively and he feels bad for insulting her former colleagues who were dedicated enough to stay while the organisation was abandoned and blacklisted by the government. "You've seen the files we have, there isn't much intel left to scrape together. It could take months before we have enough information to make a move, and that doesn't necessarily mean fight, it's always the last resort. And that doesn't mean that we'll need you to fight if we have to," she trails off; sounding less sure than she was the first time she said it.
He looks at her in silent askance. Her mouth slants begrudgingly. "We don't have the same back up or fire power we had before. They know us Bruce and how we operate, our strengths and weaknesses. Why do you think they went after those prisoners and weapons?" It's rhetorical. "To take us down. They know tanks and weapon bunkers are too easy for the Big Guy to wipe out. We need everyone to work together because the sooner we can contain a fight the better."
"But there's no way to contain the Other Guy," Bruce reminds her, remembering all those who tried and failed in the past.
"What if he was the one containing?" She argues. "And before you mention there's no way to control the Big Guy, we don't have to. He listened to Steve and worked with Thor when we took on the Chitauri. Well, up until he knocked Thor on his ass his coordination was pretty good. So was yours," she tacks on softly, imploring him with her eyes not to argue that point.
He can't because she's right. But her honesty isn't the cause for his silence, it's the openness of her expression. So much like the one that made him pause when he dismounted the motorbike.
"I've seen worse."
"Sorry."
"No," she corrects. "We could use a little worse."
"You sound confident enough for all of us," Bruce offers with a light huff. Her confidence scares him; there's this tiny inflection in her voice which makes him believe it's possible for both of them to do some good. She speaks as if he's already a hero.
"One of us should be," Natasha tells him. She contemplates him, exhaling gently after a moment. "What's really bothering you about this Bruce?"
Sometimes he forgets she watched him before they met for the first time in Calcutta. She knows him better than he realises especially when he tries to pin all of his excuses on the Hulk. The mere mention of his alter ego has been enough to scare away other agents and saves him from addressing more personal reasons, ones he's never admitted to anyone. Not her though, not even when he tried to spook her when they first met.
"What do you mean?"
She looks unimpressed by his attempt to delay answering her. He knows exactly what she means but he doesn't think anything will make him completely comfortable with transforming regularly even with good intentions. He scoffs and looks at her to figure out if she's serious. Surely, she must know he doesn't assign a rank to his issues with transforming; he doesn't put a value to their severity in his mind. She stares back, curiosity and understanding converging into one look perfectly. "Where would you like me to start?"
"By answering my question," she encourages gently.
"People underestimate him," the words fall from his mouth before he can stop them. Even she looks surprised but she stays silent so not to break his train of thought. "Because of lack of communication, they assume there's no comprehension. People presume he'll go along with whatever plan they have to lock him away in a cage strong enough to hold him. They're wrong, he learns quickly and adapts. He'll figure a way out, one way or another."
"We're not trying to put him in cage Bruce," Natasha says softly.
"No, but how will you stop him once a fight has finished? He won't know how to tell because it's still happening in his head."
"So, we figure out a way to tell him. He kind of calmed down on his own after he cornered Loki," her brow furrows over that little detail, thinking about it.
"He doesn't like orders either," Bruce mumbles in response and she blinks a few times as he distracts her from whatever she's thinking about.
"Neither do I," she jokes. "He did what Steve asked him to do," she leans in and lowers her voice conspiratorially. "Hulk, smash."
He humours her with a tight smile. She's not going to let him get away with this so easily. He resorts to his last choice. "What about you? You said you weren't sure where you fit in the team and now you're ready to wade back in the minute they snap their fingers?"
"And you said you didn't need to read my files to know who I am," she counters thickly. "This is all I know Bruce." She pauses. "Stop trying to start an argument every time we ask about the Hulk," Natasha warns him.
He starts to argue that he doesn't do that but he knows Natasha has counter-arguments and examples ready to fire back at him. He expels a long breath to steady his nerves. His head hurts from thinking this through; a steady thump at the base of his neck threatens to bring on a headache.
"I know what it's like to sit in the dark, too afraid to sleep because we see people dying when we do. We're never gonna silence the screams, Bruce. Not completely."
Her voice cuts through the pounding in his head, as if the Other Guy wants to come out and argue his side, softer than he's ever heard it, and the moment suddenly becomes too much for him to ponder and he steps back to break the spell they're caught in. Bruce spent years wallowing and questioning why he was living the nightmare, he was always grateful that he came off worst as a result of his accident. Betty and other bystanders were able to recover from their injuries but this was his fault and he wouldn't have been able to live with himself if someone else was in his place during the experiment. He would have destroyed someone else's life.
The fact that Natasha speaks with such knowledge on something he thought he alone knew about is his undoing. She had no choice in this life, someone forced it upon her and they refuse to acknowledge any responsibility for it, but she's surpassed their expectations and conditioning and managed to do what he wishes he could and turn her life around; she's the only who can't see what she's accomplished. She's gone above and beyond her training, pushing against all instincts and conditioning, transforming herself into a hero. She'll never accept the title, no matter how many times it's bestowed upon her. He wonders how she is so unaware of the good she does, when she's so insightful about the good others are capable of.
"I'll see," Bruce says finally sounding as non-committal as he feels.
She blinks as she suppresses a sigh. "That's all we can ask."
Although she says it evenly, he senses her disappointment. He won't promise to think about it because it's a given. He thinks of little else. Even when he's working on a project, it's in the back of his mind. He takes another two steps back from the railing and glances toward the living room. Empty. He frowns; it's too quiet considering the entire team was in the building.
"Are you hungry?"
"Take out on the roof again?" Natasha replies after a moment, a little surprised by the change of topic as if she expected him to withdraw completely.
Apparently buying take out doesn't qualify as 'dinner', that entails venturing out of the Tower and neither are ready to face a mob on the street if they step out together. It also means he hasn't managed to fulfil his apology yet, despite knowing her for months living under the same room as her for weeks. It's not for lack of sincerity, just a lack of privacy.
Steve and Tony usually give them space if they're on the roof, they seem to have claimed it for themselves, but inside the Tower is different and someone is always around. Bruce doesn't want to make a fool of himself in front of her or anyone else. That's easier said than done as Natasha brings it up when he least expects it, easily slipping the words out like normal conversation when they're alone and he has to do a double take to figure out if he's heard her correctly and it's hard to tell if she still wants him to take her to dinner or if she simply enjoys teasing him about it, especially about the sandwich he made her.
Ignoring her question for now, he nods at the living room, "What's everyone else doing?"
"I set Thor up on a video chat with Jane Foster," she starts. "Apparently he wants to experience a typical Midgard long-distance relationship for an hour before he flies half way around the world to see her. Pepper's here for date night; my guess is Stark feels guilty because he sat in the meeting with us when he promised he'd quit he superhero gig after the Mandarin. Barton left—"
"So soon?" Bruce cuts in, his curiosity getting the better of him. Natasha refers to Barton as her best friend and it seems odd he would take off after not seeing her for a while.
"Yeah, he wants to stay out of dodge," Natasha sighs. "No one's called on him to testify, but he's not going to stick around for them to do so."
"You didn't want to go with him?"
Her lips twitch but she shakes her head. "There's an open invitation but no, my place is here for the time being," she's more amiable to the idea than she was a month ago. "Steve's gone too, by the way; he got a lead on Barnes and I got the impression he's going to stretch it out as long as he can," she adds.
"He and Tony need a little space," Bruce agrees.
"Absence makes the heart grow fonder," she quips with that ridiculous little smirk of hers which never fails to elicit a quirk of his own lips.
"Are you content with just playing cupid?" Bruce hesitantly asks, surprising both of them with the question. Bruce puts his unruly mouth down to curiosity, it's the only reason he'll acknowledge. She spends a lot of time with the soldier, they worked together since their first battle and with their recent shared experience against HYDRA they had a lot in common.
"I'm not asking him to take me to dinner," she implores. He fixes her with a long stare, unable to figure out exactly what she wants when she takes pity on him and breaks the tension. "Come on, no one else is here and I'm hungry."
They walked out the rear service entrance of the Tower, away from the reporters and their cameras to avoid being spotted. It's also a private entrance for staff wishing to bypass the vapid media. The entrance is void of the usual lavish Stark markings and blends into the rest of New York easily. It doesn't attract attention with a lone man standing on the door, though a team of security guards is posted inside the building out of view of anyone snooping.
Bruce offers a small wave to the guy standing guard at the door as they did. Natasha found the gesture and the guys' responding tip of his hat utterly ridiculous.
"You made friends with the door man?"
Her voice, full of mirth is light and easy as they drift along the fenced off alley away from the main street to a swipe card operated door in a brick wall which leads to another alley and away from the building. He knows the tension is still between them but the musical sound is enough to make him believe it's on hold for now.
"You think I'm not capable of making friends?" Bruce jokes as they slip out of the second alley.
She pulls the hood of her jacket over her hair and tucks herself into his side to make it seem like they're any other couple on the street. His arm instinctively encircles her waist to add to the ruse they want to create so no one spares them a second glance as they pass.
"No," she exhales. "You inferred your escape plan entailed more than exchanging pleasantries."
"Like you haven't relied on that in the past," Bruce counters playfully as they come to a crossing. They fall quiet as they wait with the other pedestrians for the little green man to appear on the display board above the crossing. As soon as it does, they move with the crowd and reach the other side, veering off on their own as Natasha resumes their conversation seamlessly.
"I'm not denying that, I just wanted something more complex to torture Stark with," she retorts.
"Who do you think introduced me to him? He's the guy who accepts the takeout so Pepper doesn't know." He chuckles again and they turn down a side street toward the small family run Italian restaurant he discovered shortly after moving into the Tower. He stops at the door and looks at her, half serious, "All I'm saying is that we can come and go as we please. We're not prisoners Natasha. Sometimes a little discretion is needed for others, not ourselves." He says thinking of the press camped out in front of the building. He has no say over what they publish about him but he doesn't want to give them fodder for their next headline.
"I suppose it's not the worst place I've stayed," Natasha relents, her tone belying a small eye roll. "Guess it'll do in the meantime, while I'm figuring out a new cover."
"Do you need a cover?" Bruce questions lightly as he holds the door open for her. They haven't really discussed it since they spoke on the roof after her congressional meeting; he isn't sure if she's avoiding the conversation or figuring out what she wants to do next.
"I've always had at least one available," she reminds him evenly. The words aren't meant to appease him in any way, nor do they, but they're said with a quiet confidence which gives him confidence that she's feeling better. Their conversation pauses as they're seated by a waitress in the quiet corner, farthest from the door. They order drinks quickly and she disappears to retrieve them.
When they're alone, Bruce leans his elbows on the tables and lowers his voice to apologise. "I'm sorry for asking about Steve, it's none of my business."
Natasha shrugs. "You can ask Bruce, it doesn't bother me. He's a friend."
She stops for a moment but Bruce senses she has more to say. "Steve wants to save everyone but doesn't understand redemption, he's never experienced it. He won't know until he catches up with Barnes and it'll break his heart because he won't be able to help more than offering support. He won't be able to fix this for Barnes."
"He's a good guy," Bruce adds, understands exactly what she's trying to say and why. Redemption is lonely and unique to those who need it. Steve won't be able guide his friend through it. Though she and Steve are both fighters and have a lot in common, he'll never understand that side of her.
"Too decent for his own good," Natasha smiles. "I didn't come here to speak about Rogers. I came because you owe me dinner Doc." The uttering of her nickname for him is a signal that conversation is over and it won't be long before she's teasing him.
The waitress returns with their drinks and takes their food order; spinach ravioli for him, crab linguine for her. They make small talk while they wait; 'small talk' for them consists of Natasha asking him about the research he's working on and letting him ramble for several minutes about theories she pretends she doesn't comprehend but poses the odd question which dispels that notion. Their food is placed in front of them before Bruce realises the amount of time which has elapsed. Natasha thanks the waitress and eyes her plate. Bruce does the same and he meets her eyes across the table as she twirls her fork in the pasta strands, catching the shellfish between them before lifting it to her mouth, humming at the taste.
"This is a worthy apology Doc."
"Better than a PB and J sandwich?"
"Much," she concedes with a glint in her eye, one not caused by the muted light from overhead lamps. "Although that was a good start."
"Nothing will ever," he starts but she stops him with a shake of her head.
"I don't need to hear it Bruce," Natasha says honestly.
He knows what his angrier half almost did doesn't bother her in the slightest, she dodges murder attempts regularly. This was always for his benefit rather than hers anyway and he appreciates her indulging his need to atone. He values her opinion and with that in mind he asks, "Would you think less of me if I decided not to fight?"
"No," comes her easy answer between chews. "You'll be an asset to the team with however you decide to help us Bruce."
"What if I walked away completely so I could avoid it all together?"
"That's your choice Bruce, I won't force you to stay," her fork rests on her plate with a clink as she pins him with a long stare, her eyes unreadable. "Avoiding a fight to save lives doesn't make you a monster, Bruce. Quite the opposite."
He swallows the lump in his throat. "You could've left after DC, why did you stay?"
She gives him a soft, almost sad smile. "I wanted to, but someone reminded me there's this strange group of guys who would be lost without me; a guy who sees more in me than I do in myself, a guy who gives inspirational pep talks, a God who treats me like a fellow warrior, an eccentric rich guy who has a penchant for calling me 'Red' even though he wears a red suit of armour. Then there's this other guy," her eyes fix on his as she purses her lips. "Who had the audacity to pretend to change into a green rage monster just to see how I'd react." She pauses. "I'll miss you if you go."
It's not as simple as that and he's not easily swayed by words although he's touched by her honesty. They all mean a lot to him as well. He wishes he never opened his mouth to burden her with his question.
"I'd miss you too, but I'm not going."
He's considered it but there's nowhere safer for him. He just doesn't want his life here to hinge on whether he fights or not. It'd be back to where he started and he can't go back to that life.
"Good, who else would keep me company on the roof in the evening? They all talk too much."
He bobs his head in acknowledgement. "I'll get you some ear plugs if you like."
"There's no need if you're staying."
Bruce opens the door for Natasha to lead the way out onto the sidewalk, turning toward the Tower. He groans when he feels the first droplets on his face and sees them land on his lenses, blurring his vision. Seemingly unfazed by the weather, Natasha strides on and he follows her lead. But the rain is against them and sprinkle of rain falls quicker and heavier and soon they're caught in a downpour which drenches them within moments. Normally neither would be bothered by the weather but he can barely see through his lenses so he has to duck under a shop canopy for cover while he wipes them.
The weather doesn't affect Natasha's senses and the spy looks over her shoulder the second he does. Joining him under the shelter, she offers with a tiny slant of her lips.
"What do you think? Want to wait it out?" She asks.
Bruce looks at her, hair dripping wet and sticking together, some plastered to her face, tiny rivulets of water flow down her leather jacket, and her jeans soaked through. And she's asking him if he wants to wait it out. He's not any better, probably a slightly more pathetic sight as he fails to find a dry tissue to wipe his glasses with.
"We could," he offers but the canopy won't offer ideal cover for long, the wind picking up and blowing the water onto Natasha's back and she's forced to step toward him so she's out of the splash zone. Unfortunately, this puts her inside his personal space and they both tense for a millisecond too long. Then her face softens in a way he's seeing frequently, and given the way she reacts when it does, it's a rare occurrence. It has this way of cutting through him, unnerving and making his heart beat a little faster than it should. Like now. "Or we could make a run for it?"
"Will you be able to see where you're going? Or will I have to do my best Singing in The Rain rendition so you can follow the sound of my voice?" She teases.
He chuckles nervously, trying to convince himself it's the prospect of going blind in the mini dour pour rather than her offer to sing for him. Definitely not a serious offer but he's tempted to call her bluff. Still looking for a dry tissue, Bruce pats his jacket pocket with no joy. Seeing his predicament, Natasha unzips her jacket and reaches into the inside pocket, pulling out a tissue for him to use. He dumbly takes it from her with a small quirk of his lips, trying to think of something to say which won't make him sound like a dork.
"Would it have to be Singing in The Rain or do you take requests?" He pushes out as he folds the tissue between his fingers and dries his lenses. He looks in the direction of her face, a little fuzzy but open and utterly amused.
"Don't push it Doc," Natasha breathes out with a low laugh.
Her eyes are the first thing he focuses on when he replaces the glasses on the bridge of his nose. Bright and greener than usual, verging on expectant. Of what, he doesn't know or maybe he doesn't want to chance a guess. He smiles as her mouth curls up at the corners as she looks toward the street and the heavy downpour. "Guess we'll have to bring an umbrella next time."
"There's going to be a next time?" She questions and he tries to ignore the hopeful surprise in her voice.
"If you want to," he says and tries not to recoil when she takes a step forward as a passer-by walks under their canopy to get a little protection before he ventures on through the rain. She doesn't correct her position once he passes.
He tries to remind himself this isn't a date; their friendship is new, and evolving as well as it can, considering their trust issues though he's given her details of his experience with the Hulk he's never been able to admit to anyone else. He doesn't deny his attraction to Natasha, but acting on it will cause more complications than they already have, and there are many more reasons unrelated to even the Other Guy. He's not willing to risk the tenuous connection he feels with her for something he's not capable to act on. But sitting across the table from her for a couple of hours made him feel like a normal guy who can enjoy a simple night out with a woman who engages his mind and indulges his bad jokes.
"I want to," she roughly admits.
Bruce feels her fingers graze his shirt as she stares at him. He makes a mistake by looking at her lips. She takes another half step forward, her movement slow and deliberate so not to spook him. Despite everything telling him this is the wrong thing to do, despite his own experience with this situation, he leans in too. His lips touch her soft pliant ones gently and she sinks into his body as she emits a happy little noise which is quashed as their lips press against each other again. His hands brace her hips, pulling her forward when she tilts her head to deepen the kiss. As he's drawn into the kiss, he keeps track of his steadily rising heartbeat. He's not the only one as Natasha pulls back before it becomes too much for him. Their eyes meet.
"That was interesting," she says with a quick quirk of her mouth.
"And a really bad idea," Bruce hesitantly starts.
Is it a really bad idea?