Oh hey, seems I wrote an essay about ghouls and sexuality. But, you know what? Everything's just fine. Enjoy what my mind does at this time of night.
:) *innocent smiley face*
Shudder, part four.
Kaneki doesn't open his mouth. Ayato, who's starting to be annoyed by his own attitude, is tightening his embrace even more. Suddenly, it's like he's trying to suffocate the half-ghoul. To be honest, he's doing a great job. The white-haired boy struggles a bit, feeling uneasy about the whole thing and reasonably insecure. But Ayato's arms are trapping him, crushing him. What the hell is wrong with him? The younger one experiences a fierce urge to do... something. Anything. His blood is burning black, full of violence and unutterable desire. Tighter, his instinct keeps saying in a pressing tone. What he feels is beyond human, yet what results is only beastlike. Kaneki lets out a painful groan and that makes Ayato smile a deranged smile, eyes shining with red and blood lust. How wonderful. He is not hungry, though, he just wants to bite. With a burst of consciousness, Kaneki manages to free himself from the embrace, pushing Ayato away. Damn, he's really scary right now. The older recognizes that look: it's the same Rize and Shuu used to give him, sometimes. Which, as far as he remembers, is not exactly what he'd call a good omen. That is far away from the mere concept of it, actually.
"What do you think you're doing?" Kaneki eventually asks, rubbing his aching arms and obviously puzzled.
The ghoul's grin widens and he tilts his eyebrows in a way that makes him look even more insolent and scornful. His eyes are still dreadfully pitch-dark.
"You're way more appetizing when you're being crushed." he says, almost growling. Kaneki can't help but shudder at those words, and, without much more than a laugh as a warning, Ayato throws himself at the perplexed half-ghoul. Kaneki doesn't have enough time to properly react and meets the ground with a terrible thud, Ayato's weight on him making it worse. Pain spreads through his back until it reaches his brain and his eye turns black. But something is strange, he can feel it. For the sake of curiousity, he doesn't move just yet.
The younger ghoul's breathing is erratic, heavy, and tickling the exposed skin of his neck. He's pressing down on him with all his might – and this is definitely not what Kaneki has expected. This is not how Ayato fights. This can't be how he preys on people neither. That's when it hits him. While cruel hands are rummaging through his white hair, nails assaulting every inch of his body, Kaneki notices the incongruous blush on the cheeks, the brightness of the eyes, the strangled noises coming out of Ayato's throat as he can't seem to decide where to bite first. The half-ghoul doesn't know a lot of things about life, but... he is almost sure not to be mistaken: either Ayato is aroused, for some obscure reason (and Kaneki doesn't think he wants to know said reason even though he does know already), either he has the worst hunting technique ever. What the... ?
Ayato's respiration becomes louder and louder, and there's a glint of despair in his eyes. Where the fuck is he supposed to bite? This is too hard. He wants to rip everything up. He wants to feel his fingers and teeth piercing through soft skin, wants to feel warm blood trickling down his face in the most exquisite caress and swallow it. Ayato hisses at the thought. Oh, yes, that would feel just great. But where to start? Kaneki's heartbeat is filling his head, deafening, maddening. He can even sense it under his touch, each and every vein screaming lively is like a blasphemy to his ears.
Eventually, Ayato gives in. Swiftly, he takes hold of Kaneki's hand and watches the merely visible cobalt shades of the veins with an ecstatic smile. He bites into the thin wrist, hard enough to tear apart flesh, ligaments and bones. Hot blood spurts and gushes all over his tongue. Something about that is apparently funny, because Ayato starts to giggle maniacally, eyes almost all red. Pleasure overruns him, and he tilts his head back, letting out a long moan. That sound is so out of context it's just not acceptable. It breaks Kaneki's passivity, and he is finally able to roughly shove the boy away by thrusting his knee into his stomach. Ayato falls off, giving Kaneki a chance to precipitously squirm out of reach and get back to his feet. He can hardly stand up, his head dizzy and heavy with confusion. The younger doesn't budge, though the kick wasn't that hard. He's just lying there, spread out on the ground with his eyes half-opened. His chest is rising and falling frantically.
Kaneki has to swallow his anger. Obviously, Ayato has no fucking idea of what he's doing. Or what's happening to him. But still, ghouls make no difference between carnal desire and... hunger? He could have laughed at this thought – unfortunately, his own experience proves it's not amusing. Not when you almost die several times because of it. He knows lust is a sin, but that is no reason for it to be deadly. Oh, wait. Nevermind that. The thing is: he'd rather not be the interest of any ghoul. Meal or... whatever.
Twitching a little, he takes a few steps towards Ayato who is still not moving. Under dark blue strands, hazy eyes struggles to meet his own.
"You taste stupidly good, asshole." he says with a sigh, and Kaneki makes a face, disgusted. Despite that, the husky voice still manages to make its way unto his mind and fuck with it – quite cleverly, Ayato is aiming right at his ghoul part. Or maybe he's not, and Kaneki is just having personality issues again.
Without saying a word, Ayato darts out his tongue to lick the blood splattered around his lips, Kaneki's gaze tracking his every movement. This time, he only whimpers when the taste invades his mouth – but it is more than enough to make the half-ghoul's eyes widened in shock and... and... Dear God, this is so tantalising. Strange ideas start to flail wildly in his mind, like birds in a cage. They mostly revolve around blood, skin and flesh, and they make him burn. Ayato is on the ground, vulnerable, throat within easy reach, pulsing, breathing, radiating heat and a desirable, provoking, persistent smell.
For fuck's sake.
Kaneki shakes his head, eyes screwed shut. What the hell is that? Is he a fucking animal? There is no way in hell he's going to let those thoughts get the best of him. He must leave, now. Without a last glance at Ayato, he turns his back and disappear as quickly as possible, his head full of disturbing imagery.