Chapter 4: The Talk

EPOV

Bella's lips were unbelievably soft. It was a soft caress, our lips just hovering, barely touching. It was completely sensual. Reality seemed like a dream, my rational thoughts were a fog, as I was completely lost in Bella's lips. My own started to move against hers slowly. It seemed as time was slowing down as we kissed each other.

My hand, on its own accord, rose to touch her beautiful face. I wanted to touch more of her, make sure that this was really happening. Though, before my fingertips could junction against her skin, she pulled away.

Why?

Confused, that's what I felt. First she kisses me, then pulls away quickly. It was too short. Was this some kind of joke? My eyes narrow at her, searching for an answer to why she cruelly parted from my lips.

"Why?" I asked without thinking.

"I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to-, I shou-, um.." Bella stammered with her words, backing away, putting space between us.

"No, wait," I pleaded.

Without another word, Bella hurried to her room, her hair brushing against the skin of my arm lightly. She closed the door and I didn't see her again. I hated the door for coming between Bella and I. The urge to go in there was strong, to break the damn door down, and take her in my arms. To kiss those pink lips again, showing her how excruciatingly perfect it was. To ask why she did it in the first place. To see if she would blush from my presence, like she always did. I wanted to know.

But I had respect for Bella. I didn't do things like that. She needed space and I gave it to her. I did notice that something bothered her, though, to get her escaping to her room so fast. My hand ran up into my hair, then back down over my face. I turned the light off in the hallway after staring at her door for a moment. I wondered what she was doing, what she was thinking, if she regret kissing me.

I didn't. I didn't regret it at all.

I might as well mope in bed.

***

BPOV

Idiot. IDIOT!!

My conscience screamed at me in my head. I covered my ears with my palms, pacing my room. I could still smell Edward's scent. I rubbed my nose with my hand, trying to erase the beautiful aroma away. I was literally going insane.

This is a dream isn't it? No, it's a fucking nightmare. Why did you stop kissing him?!

Oh my God, I was a psycho schizophrenic, wasn't I? The voice in my head wouldn't shut the fuck up and I was stressing over a kiss! I plopped myself onto my bed and grabbed the pillow to smother my face and the scream I wanted to let out. Everything went black as it covered my eyes and I almost instantly felt calm.

Okay, I needed to walk myself through what just happened. I kissed Edward. Something inside me came out, my evil twin, and lured me to make this daring move. It was exhilarating! Then it was perfect, his lips perfectly fitting against mine. Then I pulled away. Why did I?

It was simple, but then it was complicated too. If I tried to explain my reason to Edward, he would have thought me crazy, or stupid.

I kissed him because I was in love with him. There.

I pulled away because we're best friends. We had friendship much, much longer than the love I had for him and I didn't want to destroy it. If I couldn't have his love, the love I wanted for myself, love from his heart, then I rather have friendship.

It was also safer to pull away, because it saved me from the heartache of him doing it to me. Just the thought of him not returning his love for me made me want to cry.

Next.

What about the part where he might possibly feel something for you? What's the answer to that?

A sigh of frustration escaped my lips. If Edward felt the same way about me, then he would have done something about it. Right? If he's a man in love, then he would burst down my door and kiss me, no matter what I thought!

I don't know.

I bailed because…

Because I felt stupid. Stupid for kissing him in the first place. This was not me. I didn't do things like that.

The embarrassment of my stupidity kicked in and I felt my eyes sting. I knew tears would come soon and they wouldn't stop till I fell asleep. I've done it so many times thinking about Edward. The hot liquid spilled over the side of my face, pooling into my ears. I had to wipe at them with the back of my hand and the sniffles joined then, making me feel more like shit. My face got hot with humiliation, figuring that Edward could hear me sniffling.

This was a great start to my weekend.

***

I woke up really early and was the first in the shower. My night was full of restless sleep, only sleeping for 2 hours. The cause of my restless night was the incident that happened. I let the water get hot, steaming up the mirror and the bathroom, sitting on the toilet, naked. The hot air felt calming, similar to a sauna, and I let myself soak in it a little while longer before I entered the shower.

The hot water of the shower was relaxing, the water washing away the unbelievable event that happened last night with my freesia scented body wash. I drowned my embarrassment & humiliation away, imagining the soapy bubbles of my shampoo were filled with it, letting it go down the drain. The hot water was almost gone and I got out the shower.

I told myself that by the time I would leave this bathroom, it would be a new day. I would forget everything that happened and things would be back to normal. I would still be in love with Edward, but nothing of this kiss incident happened. Nothing. It was just a nightmare I had then vanished after I woke up.

Wrapped in a robe and my hair dripping wet against my shoulders, I left for my room. I got dressed for the day, putting on some comfortable jeans and a tank top, covering it with one of the many sweaters Alice had bought for me. It was a simple black V-neck with long sleeves. We were just going to see my truck today, doing nothing special besides that.

Oh, that reminded me I needed to call Emmett later.

Oh. Oh. That also reminded me that I need to go to Rosalie's soon to have her look at my truck. With Edward. Alone.

No, remember, nothing happened last night. So, it's not awkward.

But I was going to be alone with him in Alice's car. It is going to be awkward.

I put my hair in a tight ponytail and brushed a little powder over my face. Alice was extremely elated that I put make-up on these days. It was minimal, but she was still happy. I grabbed some socks and walked out into the living room, finding Alice awake in the kitchen. She was drinking cranberry juice, dressed and chirpy, like always. I thought she said she was going to sleep in?

"Morning, sunshine," I greeted her.

She smiled at me her winning smile after she finished her drink and skipped towards me.

"Morning, Bella!" She hugged me fiercely, like she did every morning.

"I'm so glad it's the weekend," I said, sitting down at the stool by the counter, pouring myself a glass of cranberry juice.

"I know. How did you sleep last night?" Alice turned around to put the juice back in the fridge.

She noticed my hesitation and turned on her heel, looking worried.

"Not well."

"Why? What happened Bells-a-boo? Have another nightmare?"

It certainly was a nightmare and then it was a dream come true too!

"I had a bad night. Ya know, work and shit," I admitted. That much was true.

"Wanna talk about it?" Alice said, leaning over the counter, cocking her head to the side slightly.

I just looked at her.

"Bella, you know you can talk to me about anything. You're family."

"I know. I guess I'm just tired," I rested my chin on my hand.

"Well, maybe you should go back to bed and rest up." Alice copied my chin in hand.

"I can't. That's one of the reasons why I can't go back to sleep. I need to go get my truck. It wouldn't start last night. So, I need you to ask Rosalie if she can do me a favor?"

"How did you get home then?" Alice asked curiously.

"Emmett."

"Ohh. Okay," was all she said. She knew understood how close me and Emmett were. Alice and Emmett got along great. They hit off really well in the beginning when they first met, but not as well as Emmett and I. "Your hoopty's life expired a long time ago anyway, Bella. I think it's time for a new car."

"Hush. Don't talk about my baby like that. Anyway, will you ask Rosalie to take a look at it?" my eyes pleaded with her.

Rosalie and I, however, did not hit it off well in the beginning. I was always nice to her, but she just left this nagging feeling in the back of my mind that she didn't like me, for some reason. Although, she treated me fairly nice. Rosalie was gorgeous, the men always staring when she passed by. She knew she was gorgeous too.

I felt odd making the phone call myself to ask her to help me with my truck. Alice and her had classes together and introduced me to Rosalie on one of the girls night out we had every once a month with other girlfriends. Then the three of us would have dinner out every other weekend, sometimes go out to clubs or parties, Rosalie being the center of attention. We were an odd trio. Alice and Rosalie were friends, Rosalie and I were acquaintances.

"Of course, but you and me need to talk first," Alice started.

"About what?" I didn't know what was on Alice's mind.

"About Edward."

"And what about him?" my blushes always shown up at such inopportune times.

"See that? That's what I'm talking about, Bella. You have feelings for Edward. I don't know how deep, but it's there. It's written all over your face," Alice said, pointing to my guilty red face.

I kept my mouth shut. I bit my lip.

"Bella, it's alright to have feelings, but it kills me to see you so miserable," Alice said, walking around the corner to put her arms around me.

"I can't tell him I love him. That would be crazy. He's my best friend and I don't want to ruin what we have already. So, if you don't mind, can you please keep my secret a secret?" I turned to look her in the eyes.

"He's your best friend, Bella. Best friends understand each other. I understand why you feel that way about him, he's a great guy."

"Of course you would say something like that, he's your brother," I leaned back against the counter, my arms folding across my chest.

"At least tell him. He deserves that much," Alice's hands cupped my face, trying to assure me that this was something I needed to do.

"I can't take my heart being broken if he…" I couldn't finish my sentence. My eyes started to water and I took a deep breath, trying to push my coming hurt away.

"Oh, Bella, please don't cry. I'm sorry. I just want you to be happy," Alice said, hugging me again. This time she kissed my cheek.

"I don't know what to do. I'd like to tell him, so I don't have this secret burdening me, but then if he tells me he doesn't feel the same, or what if he runs away, screaming like a maniac?! I, I just can't handle that," one tear each fell from my eyes, I wiped them away with the back of my sleeve.

"You do really love him, don't you?"

"You have no idea," my lips quivered from the threatening burst of tears.

"No, I don't. I've never been in love, but I can see that you are. But if I noticed it, don't you think he would too? And for one thing, he's not going to run away, he's not an asshole and you know that," Alice went back to the kitchen to pick up the toast she had been eating.

I thought about how Edward would react to my secret. Did he know that I felt that way about him? I wondered and it nagged me at the back of my mind. Maybe I should speak with him. He should know by now because I had kissed him in the hallway last night.

"Alice?" I looked at her with worry in my eyes. What I was about to tell her was going to be news that would shock her breathless. "I have something to tell you, but you have to promise you won't freak out, 'cause I know you will."

Alice stopped chewing and crossed her heart with her fingers.

"I kissed Edward last night," I cringed, waiting for her reaction.

She spit her toast in the sink, her eyes wide with complete surprise, and she ran to me, grabbing my shoulders.

"You kissed Edward? When?! Where?!" Alice demanded.

Alice was beet red now, only with excitement.

"On the lips, Alice," I rolled my eyes

"Bella! Spill!" she shook me.

"Okay, okay, It was last night, after I came home from work," I said rolling my eyes at my joke.

"Bella, don't tease me, you bitch! I want details," Alice's hands left my shoulders and she placed them against her face.

I told Alice how we had bumped into each other in the dark, the bump on my forehead and how he kissed it. The kiss I returned on his chin, then the spontaneity of my kiss, only to end so short after giving it to him. I told her I felt stupid, knowing I risked our friendship over a kiss. I didn't leave out any detail of how I cried myself to sleep, but only sleeping for a couple of hours.

Alice listened intently, never saying a word, and I appreciated it. She knew not to interrupt, or I would have never finished my story. After all of that talking, I needed another drink. She poured me another glass of cranberry juice and I downed it. It felt good as the coolness of the liquid parched my dry mouth. The tartness of the juice paired perfectly with the sweetness.

"You have to tell him," Alice was serious now, pondering to herself.

"When I'm ready," I assured her.

"Okay, but soon. Not for the sake of him knowing, but for yourself. You owe it to yourself," Alice said.

Speaking with Alice always made me feel better. That's why she was my best friend. She was usually rational and her advice made sense when I thought about it through her perspective.

"Thank you, Alice. I love you, you know that?" I stood up and walked to the kitchen to give her a tight hug.

"I know, but I love you too. You would have done the same thing for me," Alice said, leaning away to smile serenely.

"Yep," was all I said.

What timing. Edward walked out from the hallway and watched us in our embrace. Heavy, dragging footsteps made us note that he just woke up.

"Good morning. Hmm, can I get some of that?" his voice was tired and raspy.

Fluttering. All I could feel was fluttering by only his voice. Even though it was raspy.

"Morning!" Alice released me to look at Edward.

"Hey Edward, morning. What did you want? Juice?" I told him, smiling politely, going for the juice on the counter top.

"No, some Alice and Bella love," Edward's grin was teasing.

His eyes were heavy with sleep and he was holding a towel in his hand. How was he able to stand up and ask such a question when he still looked so exhausted? The nest of what looked like hair on his head was matted up in every direction, some strays falling over his forehead and into his eyes. The stubble on his chin was thicker than yesterday and his pants were completely wrinkled, twisting in an odd way around his leg.

He looked so adorable. Like a child holding a blanket, rubbing his eyes.

"C'mere and get it," Alice said, holding her arms out.

I hesitated. I wasn't sure if I could do it, but Alice turned and put her arm around me, initiating me into the hug first. I couldn't help but give in, lifting my arm, waiting for Edward to enter our hug. He groggily walked over and we embraced him, putting our heads against his shoulders. In return, he circled his arms around us, squeezing us gently.

"I love you guys," he said tenderly.

"Me too," Alice said and sighed.

"Me too," my voice was soft. I closed my eyes and tilted my head to the side to rest my cheek on his shoulder.

We stayed like that for a moment, enjoying each other's quiet company. The warmth of their bodies made me comfortable. I loved them both so dearly.

"Okay, enough of the sappiness. I'm ready for java," Edward said, his hold loosening on us. Alice pushed him playfully, he stumbled, chuckling lightly.

"I'll make the coffee," I offered.

"I wanted to take a shower, but all the hot water was gone," he said.

I whipped around, my hair swinging sharply in the air as I turned so quickly. The look on my face was a look of guilt. Cringing, I apologized.

"I'm sorry," I shrugged, "I used it up this morning. Just give it 20 minutes," I said. My hand was in the air, a gesture to wait. A bag of grounded coffee was in my other hand. The smell was strong and aromatic. It smelled wonderful.

When it finished percolating, Edward dumped sugar and cream into his mug and stirred, yawning while in the process. He sat at the stool I had occupied just 10 minutes ago.

"Sleep well?" I sat next to him, watching him blow the steam from his coffee.

"Uh, not really," Edward avoided my eyes. "You?"

"No, no I didn't," I told him, surprised at my irritation.

So he didn't sleep well. Was it because of me? What else would it have been?

"Sorry, that was probably my fault," I admitted. I fidgeted with the creamer in my hands.

He turned his head to eye me. I bravely looked at him, my lips twisting to its side. He watched my lips, his green eyes getting a tad shade darker. I wonder what he was thinking. Then his eyes rose upwards on my face, pausing to linger at me eyes, gazing into them. I could literally see own my reflection in his jade green eyes. Before I could turn away, his eyes shifted upwards again, to stare at my unnoticeable bump. I forgot I had the bump on my head.

"Is your head okay?" Edward asked.

"It doesn't hurt anymore," I told him, looking down at my hands.

He changed the subject quickly.

"Did you still need me to take you to your friend Roslyn's house?"

"It's Rosalie," Alice corrected him, walking up behind us. Where had she been all this time? "She's going to check out Bella's truck."

"I know. I was going to take Bella to… wait a minute, I thought you were going to sleep in?" Edward's eyebrows furrowed.

His head turned slowly to look at Alice with confusion. Alice raised her perfectly sculpted eyebrows.

"What?" she questioned his look. "I'm not allowed to change my mind?"

Edward shrugged, turning to sip his coffee again. The moment passed and it wasn't a big deal anymore.

"So who's taking me?" I asked, my eyes jumping from Edward to Alice a few times.

"Of course I will. It's my car," Alice responded.

"Alright. Cool with me. Maybe I could get more sleep," Edward said.

"Nope, you're coming with. I want you to meet Rosalie," Alice said nonchalantly, gracefully turning to put everything away in the kitchen. "So hur-ry up and get ready already."

"Evil midget," Edward jested.

Alice froze, but didn't turn around. I could tell she was irritated. Edward was gonna pay, I already knew it. Alice was gonna get him back and get him back good.

This was a natural thing between them. They would bicker, but only in play, back in forth. The great part of it was seeing who would outdo the other. Edward was better at smack talk, but Alice, the evil pixie she was, was no one to mess with.

"Next time I make you java, I'm going to poison it," Alice said.

I laughed.

"I recall Bella making it," Edward stated.

Alice's smile was obviously fake, "Go shower, stinky."