Morning comes with a throb in his left temple. He hears sharper with the left ear too, and it`s a disorientating feeling. Muscles stiff and bones leaden, he shifts to his right until plopping gracelessly out of the bed. The towel is still clinging to his shoulders, so he shrugs it off as he crawls towards his duffel, though his vision turns to spots and he loses balance completely, sprawling out on the concrete floor.
Then he regains himself. Crawls the rest of the way. He pulls out one of his loose half-sweater-half-shirts and manages to pull it over his sore skin. Leaves the sweatpants.
Tries to stand up. Falls over. Tries again, leaning heavily on the nearest wall.
(and these motions feel so feel so familiar, as if from a dream or another life, and he`s done this so many times now, so many times)
He only half staggers down the corridor, his disorganized brain not permitting to un-lean from the wall.
(He faintly realizes his temple pulses in time with the residual madness at the base of his skull and almost laughs out loud)
He stops by the staircase. Sits down and stares for a good fifteen seconds between deciding it`d be safer to crawl down, feet first. It`s kind of awkward but with how his coordination is right now it`s the best thing to do. He ceases his descent on the last step, turns to sit on it, head in his hands.
There`s someone in the tucked-away kitchen-corner. There is a smell of food and the sizzling of oil upon a pan sets Isaac`s left ear off so much he has to cover it with a cringe.
Through his peripheral vision he notices someone shift their upper body out of the kitchen-corner. He feels the stare only because he knows it`s there.
Then the voice of the half-visible body drifts in as "You all right over there?" and even with a hand over his left ear the words seem too sharp in it, making Isaac wince. He mutters a "not really", though loud enough to be heard.
The person hums, then asks "Want some ibuprofen?" (and again, the sound slips right through his palm to cut into the ear. Another wince.)
Isaac just nods, tries not see patterns in his surroundings. Screws his eyes shut. The steps towards him sound too crisp.
When he opens his eyes it`s Peter that stands in front of him, in one hand a glass of water and in another two of the elongated white pills.
He takes one pill between his teeth, takes a single gulp of water with it. Repeats the action, then drinks the rest of the water, because he`s not too sure when was the last time he`d had a drink. (and even though can`t really remember last night he`s pretty sure he`d lost a lot of fluids) Then Peter takes the glass from him with one hand and with the other pulls Isaac`s arm over his shoulder to help him walk (which Isaac is fairly surprised by, and notes it to memory)
Peter sets him down on one of the chairs, then walks over to the stove, turns it off. The sizzling ceases pretty soon after that.
"I`m not sure you`d want to eat anything too big right now, so I was thinking maybe you`d be all right with muesli?"
Isaac realizes that Peter is quite right about the condition of his need to eat. Nods and notes it to memory as well. Peter is just full of surprises this morning, isn`t he?
(The throb in his temple begins to fade, his hearing evens out)
"Wonderful. Now we only have to wait for Derek to get back with milk, then."
And he takes a seat at the very opposite end of the table, watches Isaac with light-steel eyes and an imperceptible expression. Isaac is surprised that it doesn`t unnerve him, instead, watches Peter back, mirroring the posture, expression and the very atmosphere of the look.
And that makes one of the corners of Peter mouth twitch upwards, eyes flicking with silent amusement as he leans back against the chair and tilts his head lightly.
(and there is a challenge in Peter`s eyes then, one that Isaac can`t quite push himself to ignore)
Isaac mirrors the movement. The upturned corner of Peter`s mouth rises a bit higher. He stretches his arms upwards, laces his fingers and tucks both palms behind the back of his neck. And, as if this is a kind of game, so does Isaac.
And then Peter laughs. A kind of dry sound, but mirthful, and Isaac realizes he`s never heard Peter laugh before and notes it, but then he`s also chuckling.
And then they`re both laughing, loud and joyful clusters of sounds that bounce of walls and it helps so much, so much
(Isaac feels lighter, and he thinks Peter`s shoulders seem looser as well and he`s sure he`ll remember this moment for years onwards, the day he laughed at the table with the one man everyone knew not to trust)
(and he doesn`t know it but Peter will remember the moment too, except to him it`ll be how he shared a body language joke with the so-different-from-the-norm boy with sheep`s fleece for hair, and how maybe even dead people like him can laugh like everything`s okay)
They die down to chuckles when the large red-rusted metal door slides open with creaks.
When Derek walks into the kitchen-corner, Isaac can`t help but notice how his eyes seem a little sunken in. His own must have shown the surprise because Peter leans down to whispers "he was just really worried about you"
(And Derek hears that, of course, of course, but pretends he doesn`t)
Isaac feels only mildly guilty. (And he thinks back and remembers it had been his own choice to eat the mountain ash berries) He probably should feel more so, but he just doesn`t. But he knows guilt and is glad with the reprieve from it.
He wants to ask how bad it looked from the side-lines. He wants to ask how they felt about it. He wants to ask so many questions and say so many things, too many things, so he stays quiet as the two Hales shovel pancakes on plates and give Isaac some muesli and sit to eat.
They eat mostly in silence. But it feels calm, there is no real tension. They all relax into the feeling of pack. It soothes their minds, to each their own brand of despair. Their own skulls and bones in closets. Secrets and thoughts and epiphanies and guilts.
But they are bare there. Untainted.
(and the madness seeps away into the walls for the duration of this utopian reverie)
No one asks anyone anything. There is a silence and understanding and unconscious knowledge of everything they are not aware of, at the back of their minds.
No looks exchange. All of their eyes are steel and blue. So alike.
They scrub their dishes and glasses clean after breakfast. (Derek washes, Peter dries, Isaac sets them into their places)
Then, in a strange form of unison they walk out of the kitchen-corner and sit down on the couch. Stay quiet for minutes. Then Derek breaks it
"I think Deaton should check if you`re really better."
(Isaac feels good enough, but nods obediently. There are some pains that can`t be felt. He knows that.)
"Want to go now?"
That takes Isaac aback some. But he hums in affirmative. They stand up in unison. Peter doesn`t say anything. Single file and out the metal doors, they clamber down stairs with silent footfalls and odd breathing.
No words. Peter settles in the back, something he`s never done before, or at least to Isaac`s knowledge. Isaac settles his knees against the glove compartment and slides his rear to the edge of the seat, looking like he`s hiding from anyone who might be looking in, as per usual.
Some instrumental beat plays out of the speakers. No one speaks. (No one needs to)
They park, and Derek looks somewhat ruffled. Says how he has to get to the scheduled training with Boyd and Erica (how long had Isaac even been out of commission? He hasn`t looked into a single clock today).
Then Isaac understands so suddenly why Peter came along and why Derek looked so discontented. He doesn`t want to leave the two alone (Allan doesn`t count here). Isaac doesn`t really want to hang out with Peter at the vet`s (or anywhere aside from the loft) either. But there`s this stiffness that says multitudes about how this very act had been spoken of before, yesterday, through thin walls in worried tones.
He sighs as he gets out of the car. Peter doesn`t make a sound as he goes to stand next to him. (and this time the complete silence of his presence is unnerving)
"Call me when it`s done with, okay?" Are Derek`s last words through the window. He puts the stick in reverse, and the car moves. Turns. Goes. Is gone.
And it`s just Isaac and Peter, feet to the cement and backs mostly straight. The air feels vapid and sharp. There`s a kind of buzzing weaved into it. It unsettles at the stomach and grinds at the joints, creating an unbearable need to run away without looking back. He looks into Peter`s eyes and sees how he feels it too. And for a moment wishes Peter would suggest they both run from there on, into the woods, off one cliff or another, to deconstruct and be over with whatever life really is. He doesn`t.
They walk to the door, and the bell chimes as they set feet upon the laminate floor. But it isn`t just Deaton who comes through the door isle. Scott is there too.
(And finally Isaac locates a clock to see that it`s already 17.00)
Deaton understands instantly. Scott`s face shifts from surprise at Isaac to distrust at Peter. In the end he decides to flicker his eyes from one to another, confused.
And that makes Isaac laugh. It`s an entirely too loud and too shrill sound. Then he regrets it. Bows his head as everyone looks at him. He expects them to, but no one says anything.
Allan lets them through the gate. Scott steps backwards to let them shuffle through. Keeps his eyes intent on Peter. (making his spine tremble, but he shows nothing, ever)
The check-up is simple. Pulse. Vision. Nerves. Coordination. Temperature. And he manages to keep his heartbeat steady all the same (because he feels like they`re staring right through him, at the reason he really got poison). He thinks Allan hides it so much better.
Then he is proclaimed fine, but Allan asks both Peter and Scott to leave the building for a minute and not eavesdrop. They do, all the while staring at Isaac (shirtless and sitting on the operating table, legs swinging and eyes downcast) and Allan standing there, watching them leave. But where Scott is dumbfounded, Peter also looks apprehensive and aware of some situation (though only the very outline of it).
The white-wood-transparent-glass door closes and the two werewolves stand in the fresh air, and Allan leans in somewhat close to Isaac`s face and begins to whisper things.
"It`s almost done, but you`ll have to come a different time to get it."
The voice is practically going directly into his ear. He nods and something in his stomach twists in on itself.
"Can you come next Tuesday?"
Isaac nods again.
"We'll discuss some safety rules then, all right?"
Third nod.
Then Allan places his palm on Isaac`s shoulder in a gesture that is alien and meaningless to Isaac, though he doesn`t shrug it off. Just stares into his palms, how lines curve them. Allan goes to let the other two in. Isaac puts his shirt back on.
They come back in with the same expressions they had when the left, though there is a kind of animosity there now, as if they had been quarrelling outside.
Allan gives an explanation. They seem to buy it.
Allan and Scott bid them farewell as Isaac and Peter walk out through the door. They take the few steps to the parking lot, then Peter looks up into Isaac`s face with a rather cold expression. His voice runs smooth like velvet
"You`re a decent actor, Isaac. Even I can`t really understand what that was about, because, obviously it wasn`t about, hm, how did the good doctor put it again, personal safety and awareness?"
Isaac kind of wants to call Peter out on the narcissism in the words. He refrains from it. Face void, voice deadpan, he retorts with a simple.
"Well, you`re quite a good actor yourself."
Completely avoiding the question. It`s not a confirmation. (because why confirm what is already so?) Peter hums, breaks eye contact, then slides his phone out and searches through his contact list for Derek.
They stand mute until Derek arrives.