Chapter 4: A troublemaker called Feelings

Later that evening, at the other end of the table, Arya is messing around, throwing food with her spoon to everybody. One of her projectile lands on Sansa's right cheek. "Arya!... It's not funny!..." She yelled at her younger sister.

Lady Stark makes a slight movement with her head towards Ylliria, silently ordering her to put her younger daughter to bed.

Seeing her rising from the bench, Robb looks up to his mother.

"Keep my seat warm... I'll be back in a minute..." She says to him.

"Little dragon... It's time for bed... You come with me now... And no mumbling and no complaining... I am not in the mood for it tonight!..." Ylliria severely tells Arya, grabbing the spoon from her hand and by an elbow to raise her from the bench.

"What it so special about tonight?" The young girl mischievously asks.

"Forward march!... This way..." Ylliria points to the hallway.

"But, it's not that late yet... I promise I will behave…" She tries to soften her.

"Up you go and right now!... Don't make me give you an ear full in front of everybody, Arya..."

"Some help, maybe..." Robb arriving near them.

"I wouldn't say no to that..." Ylliria sighs.

The young man grabs her little sister and carries her over his shoulder like a bag of potatoes.

"Robb... Put me down!... Put me down!..." Arya protests, swinging with her legs.

"I'll put you down in your bed, little monster..." He gently answers, smiling at Ylliria.

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Arriving at Arya's bedroom, Ylliria opens the door and softly pushes her in it. "You put on your nightgown... We'll stay here till you finished undressing... And then, we'll tug you in..."

"And no dirty tricks... I'll count to fifty... After that, I'll undress you myself..." Robb adds.

"You wouldn't dare!..."

"One... Two... Three..." Robb starts to count, making Arya rush into her room.

Ylliria and Robb stay silent for a moment, not really knowing what to say.

"Do you have..." Ylliria starts. "Do you want..." Robb at the same time.

"Sorry... What were you saying..." He continues.

"I was wondering if you had other of those jokes from the blacksmith... There are really funny... Maybe the way you tell them... I don't know..." She smiles.

"I don't hear you counting!..." Arya yells from inside the room.

"Thirty seven... Thirty eight..."

"Not so fast!... I have trouble with one of the knots of my dress..."

"You want some help with that?" Ylliria asks, bending to have a peek through slit.

"Maybe it will be better to wait till we are downstairs again... She has fine ears..." He whispers, pointing at the door, making Ylliria softly giggle.

"I'm in bed!..." The young girl screams.

"Fifty!... Just in time!..." Robb enters the room, followed by the young Lady.

They each sit at one side of Arya's bed. Ylliria pulls up the wolf-skin used as blanket over her shoulder.

"So, do you solemnly swear you will stay in bed and not trying to come down to lurk?..." Robb asks her little sister.

"I promise..." She smiles.

"Okay, that's the way I like my favorite little monster..." He kisses her on the forehead.

"Good night, sweetheart..." Ylliria says, doing the same.

She softly closes the door. "And now, back to the party!..." Robb takes her hand and carries her in a crazy race to the main room

"Robb… You gonna make me fall!.." She laughs, trying to hold on tight during their descent in the stairway.

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Late that night, Ylliria has trouble to find sleep. She lays in her bed, her eyes staring at the ceiling, asking herself why she feels so upset about Jon's departure for the Wall. She seems to be more affected by that than Lord Stark and his two daughters going to the Capital. "Could it be that I care for him?..." She whispers. "Of course I care for him... We know each other since we were kids... We were practically raised together..." She alleges. "And I also care for Bran, for Arya... For everybody in this family... So, why does it make me feel so different?..." She screws up her eyes, looking for an rational explanation. "Oh, no... No... No... No, that can't be it..." She suddenly softly laughs of the foolish idea that just passed through her mind. "How can I think something like that... I know nothing about love... How?... No, no, no..." She shakes her head. "But, I how can I know for sure... To whom could I talk about that and ask questions?... Not to the Lady Stark… She hates Jon… And... She my Lady... I can't... No... What would she think about me..." She continues to search a solution. "Oh by all the Gods, it is certainly Sansa and her 'you are of age for marriage' that must have put such silly ideas in my head…" She gets irritated. "Oh, wait... I know to whom I can talk about this in all discretion… Belinda, my best friend the kitchen-maid. She is engaged to the miller's son and will soon be married… She must know things about it… I will talk to her tomorrow morning…" She flips side in her bed, finally closing her eyes.

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After her late morning breakfast, she goes for the kitchen. She looks around to be sure Belinda is alone.

"Good morning, My Lady…" The kitchen-maid makes a quick curtsey.

"Good morning, Belinda…"

"Could I be at any service to you, My Lady?…" She politely asks, noticing her discomfort.

"Oh, no… I'm fine… I was just passing by… Maester Luwin gives Bran and Rickon their lessons… Sansa and Arya are busy with their embroidery… I'm not in the mood for a walk… So, I…" Ylliria trying to find a good way to lead to the conversation she wants to start. She looks at Belinda that is patiently waiting for any of her command. "Belinda… I know I can trust you… We know each other for a long time… I consider you as my friend..." She sits down in front of the tick wooden table. "Could you spare me a moment of your time?... I need to ask you about something… In all discretion…" She makes a gesture of her hand to ask the kitchen-maid to sit down next to her.

"Of course, My Lady… You know you may ask me anything… I know most of everybody's secrets around this house…" She says in a conspiracy tone.

"It's not really about somebody else's secrets… It's more about questions I ask myself… And where I cannot find answers to without some help…" She sighs. "And since you will be nearly married and that I know you won't tell this any further, I thought you might be the one…" She explains with an embarrassed smile.

"Oh… I start to see the sun coming out of the clouds…" She gently joshes. "You have questions about boys…"

"Not really about them… But… Oh dear, I never thought it would be so hard to say it out loud…" Ylliria takes a deep breath. "All right… Hum… When you are feeling upset about something a certain someone told you about… When there no real reason to be all upset about, because it seems to be good news for that person… And that since you know that thing about that certain someone, you can't stop thinking about him… And you feel sad about it too… And you want to tell him how upset you are, but you don't know how… I am not making any sense, does I?..." She sighs.

"Hum... Let me summarize all this for you... A boy innocently tells a girl something about himself, to share good news... The girl instead of being happy for him feels upset and sad... I deduce that the boy and the girl know each other for a long time and that the news only involves him and not her..."

"That's it exactly!..." Ylliria joyfully says.

"Pardon, My Lady... But, I do not understand what you expect from me?..."

"Well, should the girl tell the boy about the fact she feels upset and sad?... Taking the risk to alter their friendly relationship..."

"But, if the boy and the girl are friends... I do not see why they could not talk about it together..." Belinda puts a hand over hers. "My Lady... Do you allow me to ask from whom we are talking about?..." She dares.

Ylliria lowers her gave, slightly blushing. "I thought we were just friends... But, things seemed to have suddenly changed... I mean, when he told me he would... It was like my heart suddenly aches... Oh dear… The more I think about it the more confusing it becomes... I never thought about him that way… Ever… But now that I know he is leaving Winterfell… It's like I feel mad and sad at the same time…" She softly sobs.

"Oh… Now I understand... You're talking about Jon Snow isn't it?…" Belinda softly smiles.

"How did you know?..."

"Well, it's certainly not Lord Stark…" She gently laughs. "Nor one of those Lannisters either… So, the only other person leaving is Jon…" She sighs. "You know that taking the black means swearing to stay celibate till you die…" She explains.

"You mean, I will never see him again?..."

"I'm afraid so… Or maybe he could visit sometimes, like the Lord's younger brother… But, I'm not sure if a cadet would… So, it's going to be a very long time before he's coming back around… My Lady, are you crying?" She leans towards her when she sees tears rolling down her cheeks.

"Lord Stark is right… Winter is coming…" She wipes them away with her sleeve.

"What are you going to do?..."

"Nothing… He does not know anything about how I feel… And he wants to take the black… So, end of story…" Ylliria harshly says.

"But, My Lady… He deserves to know… You have to tell him how you feel before he is taking the oath…"

"And if he does not feel what I feel… What then?... I don't want to be Winterfell's laughing stock…" Ylliria stands up and leave the kitchen.

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