Track 4: Overjoyed

And I hear you calling in the dead of night …

It was a sentence of such general meaning, Blake was sure she was reading too much into it.

"I'm worried about you, Blake."

There was wasn't a lot of chance that it meant what she wanted it too. Weiss was thinking about her, but that didn't necessarily mean anything else. It probably was only as simple as it sounded. Nevertheless, she had thirsted for so long that she relished in Weiss's concern for her. On that sustenance alone, she could hold the thirst at bay a short while more.

On the surface, though, she only regarded Weiss's statement with a loose shrug, and went back to her homework. But she sensed that Weiss was still hovering over her, waiting for a reply.

"You don't need to worry."

"So there's nothing going on?" Weiss raised an eyebrow. "Because I must say, you have been acting a little odd lately."

"Are you sure about that?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, I don't feel any different, I don't think I've been behaving any differently. Are you sure that it's me you're thinking of?"

"I …" Weiss sighed. "Never mind then."

"Okay."

"Will we see you in the cafeteria?"

Blake frowned. "Mm, I don't know. I might be a bit busy here. If I don't come down, don't wait up for me."

"Do you want us to bring something back?"

"Sure, if that's okay."

"Anything in particular?"

"Surprise me."

When Weiss left the room, Blake caught herself looking after her, out of the corner of her eye. Watching the swish of her white, waist-length ponytail, watching the way she moved; it wasn't necessarily graceful, but there was still something very dignified about it.

Blake always surmized that it was just one of Weiss's numerous and very endearing mannerisms, much like the times she would pout or her cheeks would puff up with some half-hearted indignation.

She looked down at her notebook and realized, with some embarrassment, that the page was now populated with little, doodled heart shapes. Blushing, she tore the page out and ripped it up into pieces that flew all over the desk, then dropped her head to the desk, groaning inside her throat. With some frustration, she wondered, At what exact point in my life did I become a teen cliché?

For some time, it had been something of a problem. And apparently the effects of her attraction had become noticeable to the others. That was a slip, a first reminder that she had to keep things in check. Not her feelings, necessarily – she was becoming reconciled to such a thing no longer being possible – but the way they made her act around her teammates, and especially the object of her attractions. She didn't want any unwelcome questions coming her way, and she certainly didn't want Weiss to be the one asking them.

Gathering up the shredded post-mortem paperwork and balling it into the wastebasket, she resolved to repair the guard around her secret, muttering to herself the whole time about how much it sucked.

If it were anybody else, she wouldn't have a problem. She knew that much. If, for instance, her attraction was to Yang, or to Ren, or to Velvet or even Sun, she would act on it without much obsession. To her, romantic connections were wonderful, but there was no reason to waste so much energy and time dwelling on the maybes and maybe nots, even more so when there was actually no relationship or connection being had.

But with Weiss, she'd proven herself wrong.

Knowing what she knew about Weiss, and her family, there could be no worse idea for her to have than one where the two of them became romantically involved. The list of cons was just overwhelming whenever she would waste energy and time thinking about it; all the tensions between the White Fang and Weiss's family; the same family's attitude towards the faunus in general; Weiss's inheritance at stake, et cetera. A lot of red flags and warning signs, in any case.

But logic and reason had little place in these arguments, it always seemed. Because in the end, and the reason why she never tried to talk herself out of her pining anymore, love was love for the sake of those that shared it with each other. No matter how long the list of cons, it withered in the face of such romanticism. She partly blamed it on her constant love for stories and storytelling, and make-believe forbidden-love scenarios.

But now she found that she could easily empathize with those characters, because now she was one, in her very own real-life forbidden-love story.

And if it were anyone else, then she could write her own ending, and have her happily-ever-after.

But Weiss Schnee was the absolute exception.

Some aspects were universally applicable: two lovers and the emotion of love shared between them, for example. Even naming one of the lovers "Blake". But when she tried to name the other lover "Weiss", and she tried to envision the happy ending, the faunus and the heiress riding into the sunset together on a pumpkin carriage, it fell apart before she could even put the pen to paper.

It would require so much to go right, and so many planets to align. There simply was not enough luck in the world to grant her that power.

And besides, she was accustomed to this feeling by now, the feeling of resignation that settled in her gut when she told herself to keep behaving like things hadn't changed since they had become friends.

She kept things quiet in the weeks that passed after what she dubbed "The Close Call". Every now and again she caught the heiress giving her an odd look, but she thought nothing of it. Weiss was probably noticing her many split ends – the way Weiss was with hair, it wouldn't have surprised her, and Blake knew that she could take better care of the hair she had been given, so it never stuck with her longer than a passing second or so.

When she didn't have homework – because she was still a good student – she spent nights laying in bed in her yukata with a book. Admittedly, she had not had the same variety with her choice of genre that she used to have, but she couldn't just betray what was on her mind.

So it came to pass that while Yang and Ruby were doing their own work at the desks, and Weiss was on her own bed with a pen and a notebook, she was curled up with The Starcrossed Hearts for the third time that month. Subject matter aside, Blake always found it an indefensibly engrossing read.

"Blake, can I see you for a minute?"

Blake put down the book and looked over at Weiss, who had apparently stopped doing whatever it was she was doing and was now standing by her bed.

She sat up. "Um, sure. What is it?"

Weiss bit her lip, and cast a glance over at the sisters, who were still deep in their work. "Let's take this outside, actually."

Blake frowned, but got up anyway. "Will I need shoes?"

"That might be good."

"Okay then." She reached under her bed and fished out a pair of slippers.

"We're stepping out for a bit," Weiss announced to Yang and Ruby, once Blake was ready. Without waiting for a reply, they were both out the door and down the corridor.

Blake found the situation amusing, even more so when caught a glimpse of Weiss's face, looking very serious without looking angry or sad in the slightest. It made her wonder what was going on, but when she asked again, Weiss brushed her off, telling her to wait until they were outside.

They didn't walk very far, but it was still a reasonable distance from the building. Probably a couple minutes of walking time. Still, neither of them said anything. Blake was waiting for Weiss, and Weiss seemed to have something very distressing on her mind.

"You aren't fooling me, Blake."

It was a sentence that caught Blake off-guard, and stopped her in her tracks. Weiss turned and stared at her.

"What … what do you mean?"

"I mean …" Weiss came closer. "That you think I don't see what's going on with you. But you're wrong. I'm watching you, and you're still being weird, just like when I spoke to you last time."

Blake took a step back, feeling her heart rate starting to quicken. She'd genuinely thought she was doing better. "I'm telling you, Weiss, there's nothing going on."

"Then why are you sweating?"

"Because it's almost summer."

"Oh. Right."

"Weiss, how do you think I'm being weird?"

"All the little things, Blake. The others don't see them, but I do. So tell me-"

"Tell you what?"

"You can talk to me about whatever it is that's going on, Blake. Sometimes, when we're dealing with certain issues in our life, words are all we have, and all we need to do is talk it out. I can see that you're currently hiding something right now, and I can guess that you've been hiding it for some time, but Blake, you know what?" She reached out and grasped Blake's shoulder, with a sympathetic look. "We're all here to help. I'm here to help."

"Wait." Blake frowned, and shook herself out of Weiss's hold. "What exactly do you think is wrong?"

Weiss shrugged. "Well, I just assumed that you were feeling anxious again, about … something."

"Okay. Firstly, you should never have anything to do with psychiatry, because that was the worst pep-talk I've ever heard. And secondly, you don't know what you're talking about. I'm not like I was back then." She turned to go back to the dormitories building, but Weiss grabbed her arm.

"But something's different with you! I can tell!" Blake met Weiss's eyes. "It's like you approach certain situations with like a … heightened tension, or something! And I just want you to be honest with me! We've been through this twice now, you know!"

Blake huffed. "Fine. Do you want to know what's been going on with me? Are you sure? You're prepared?"

"I am."

Blake shook her head, but, in one step, closed the distance between them, using Weiss's grip on her arm to pull them together, to reduce the gap between their lips until it was nonexistent, and they were kissing.

There wasn't enough time for Blake to relish what she was doing, or even to fully process it, as Weiss pulled away after a couple of seconds, letting go of her arm like she had been burned. When Blake glanced at her, she saw a crimson face and a confusion she was familiar with. Then she quickly looked away, up at the leaves of a distant tree.

"I … I …" she stammered. Blake imagined that she would happy with drifting off into the clouds, if it meant she could keep the feeling of Weiss's lips on her own.

"Yes, Weiss," she murmured. "That's right."

"I can't … you know. I just can't. My family …"

"Yes, I know."

"Blake, I … why wouldn't you say something? That you felt this way?"

Blake stared at her, feeling a little anger creep in.

"What was I supposed to say, Weiss? We both know that nothing would come of it, and I would be hurting just as much as I am now. What else is there to say about it?"

"I'm sorry … I didn't know. And I pressured you."

"It's okay."

"Is it? I can't give you what you want. That's not okay."

"Do you want to?"

"I …"

"Never mind. Forget I asked." Blake turned to walk away once more.

Weiss caught up with her. "Blake, don't walk away from me! We can't just leave this alone."

"Why not? I've been resigned for a long time, that this is the way it's going to be. I've accepted that we can't happen, no matter how much I want us to. So you don't have to try and make me feel better. It is what it is, and we don't have to talk about it."

Weiss didn't have an answer for her, and Blake nodded resolutely.

"I'm going back up," she said. "Feel free to join us when you're ready."

"Blake, come on …"

"At least I know what it's like to kiss you, Weiss. And since we can never happen, that'll have to be good enough for me."

Weiss stopped walking, and Blake went on without her. She knew that when Weiss was watching her walk away, she saw a girl in a yukata with her head down, focusing on the ground before her. What Weiss couldn't see, however, was the expression on her face; Blake wouldn't be able to describe it herself, but she could infer enough from what she was feeling to know that she probably didn't look happy.

Walking back up to the dorm room, she wondered what it was the kiss had accompished, other than promising to make the dynamic between them eternally awkward.

Maybe, she theorized, that it was her way of creating an ending. It wasn't a happy ending, as she had known it would be, and it wasn't going to provide all-round closure. It provided her some closure, with the confirmation that her feelings were only ever going to amount to naught. It didn't give Weiss closure at all, but that didn't bother her much; Weiss was sure to find a girlfriend or boyfriend that would be approved of by everyone, and that would be that. The book would close, the final pages written during that latest conversation.

This marks the beginning of the second release of four for this project. Two more tracks will follow this one. This was Track 4. Next is Track 5.

Truly Yours, Kalico.