Sarah's POV:
I hang on every word you said and
No one could get inside my head like you
After getting home that night from the Cullen's weekend party, I dressed quickly in my comfiest silk pajamas, curling up with a good book and a steaming cup of coffee on the love seat in the living room. The soft clicking of heels against the oak flooring of the parlor resonated through the empty house, the dark silhouette of my mother flashing on the pale green walls. "Oh, Sarah" she slurred tiredly, "I thought that you would be asleep by now" her coat and heels dropped to the floor with a loud clatter, burly arms, corded and tattooed all over wrapping around her trim waist. Bile rose to the back of my throat, as my fingers dug into the leathery cushion beneath me, air struggling to pass through clenched teeth. "No mom" I mumbled, running my fingers across the worn spine of the book, "Just…up reading".
"Oh that's nice dear. I'm just going to go to bed, good night" the arms of public creep number one, dragged her up the flight of stairs, a bedroom door slamming shut minutes later. Silence had become my only friend in the few years of my parents' mutual separation. When they weren't off at their respective down-town dive bars or company parties they were on business trips half-way across the world. Rarely was the house occupied by both; when mom was home dad would stay in a motel or at the office, and when dad was home mom would run off with her new boyfriend of the day for weeks and sometimes months on end.
Then I guess I was a fool for you then
But now I understand
Sighing frustratedly I slammed the dog-eared page of the novel shut, tiring of the same sentence my eyes stayed glued on for who knows how long. Muffled giggles and slurred murmurs could be heard from my mother's room as I tip-toed across the hall to my own haven, slamming and locking the door behind me.
Flashback (Sarah's POV) 8 Years Old…:
Thunder roared horrendously throughout the house, thick branches slamming against my window pane, as I bundled under the covers. Closets were small, cramped spaces, little kids used as hiding places, filled with toys and board games. Bright flashes of lightening filtered in through the small cracks of the closet door, the plushy feel of wool in a teddy bear squishing between my fingers. As the thunder boomed again, I clasped my hands over my ears, clamping my eyes shut tightly. Momma was out again on a trip and daddy had locked himself in the study again. Silent tears trekked down my face in streams and I laid there until the sun came up and the rain was just a silent, background noise on my window. There in the corner of my little closet, nestled under the covers with a teddy bear…. Alone
It was all part of your plan
And you should know that
My eyes were stinging the next morning as I tried desperately to stretch my cramped body from its awkward position. My neck was sore and my throat was dry and itchy as I clambered out of the closet, rays of light filtering in through the sheer curtains. It was silent once again, mom and her new beau of the day having already left the house, at different hours of the morning. Trudging to my bathroom, I rinsed my mouth with cold water, scrubbing my face clean of salty tears and dust from the night before.
You taught me what it was
To feel the sting of love
To feel like I don't ever wanna let somebody ever get that close to me again
My head was pounding, blood rushing to different appendages of my body, the contents of my stomach once again rising to the surface. Vomiting inside the porcelain bowl of the toilet, I laid my head against the cool tiles of the bathroom floor, brushing a hand through my unruly hair. For so long, I put up two mask; one for my parents, when they bothered to show their faces, and the other for outsiders, for the ones who bothered to look and see. I was two totally different people. Tears leaked from the corners of my eyes, as I sobbed pathetically, slamming my hands on the tiles until my palms turned red.
I learned so much from you
Things I'd never do
Now that we're apart
You taught me how to break a heart
There was a small picture that I kept tucked in the corner of my mattress; one of my parents and I when I was younger. The portrait was done professionally, a sepia touched photo, mom in her elegant pin-stripe day dress, and dad in a button down and some slacks, I sitting in between them in a baby doll dress with my teddy bear. The corners of the photo were burned off and there was a smudge of whiskey splashed on the corner, from when dad tried to burn it on one of his drunken fits.
Dear God if you can hear me now
Please stop the anger building up inside me
"Dear Sarah, I am terribly sorry that I had to leave you on such short notice. There's some money on top of the refrigerator that should last you for a while, or at least until Daniel decides to give you some. Take care" was scrawled neatly on a small note taped to the fridge, the corner of a white envelope sticking out from the top. "Daniel?" I thought bitterly as I crinkled the note in my hands, "She always says Dad not Daniel. She always calls him Dad!" As much as I sometimes wanted to hate my mother for her uncaring attitude towards me, I couldn't bring myself to. Hatred towards the woman that gave life to me was heartless and ironic. Much less could be said for 'Daniel' who locked himself in the attic's makeshift study for hours at a time, the smell of whiskey permeating the air every time he returned home.
I need you to come and guide me
I look into the eyes
I couldn't bring myself to eat, as I lounged around the house, dusting off shelves and cleaning dishes when I had nothing better to do. The skies darkened, thunder booming far off in the distance, as storm clouds began to roll in. I rushed to make sure all the windows were locked and shut, flipping mindlessly through the channels on the television screen, as lightening flashed. "Whenever you are afraid and alone, and you think no one is there for you; go to your happy place. Pick a little space, like your closet, take a blanket and your bear, close your eyes, and just drift… You are so special Sarah, never forget that…" a voice whispered distantly. Flicking off the television, I trudged once again to my room, grabbing a blanket and my bear. The closet was smaller than it seemed from when I was a child, and I curled myself into a tiny ball with my bear, drifting away to the sound of thunder and lightning roaring in the distance…
Of the one I thought was mine
And my only scream is:
You taught me what it was
To feel the sting of love
To feel like I don't ever wanna let somebody ever get that close to me again
I learned so much from you
Things I'd never do
Now that we're apart
You taught me how to break a heart…
Author's Note: Hellooo guys! I'm ecstatic lately because I passed both of my standards of learning (SOL) test in both Honors Biology and World History 2! I'm so happy! Eeep! Anyways, I'm really excited about this story and as always I do hope that you guys enjoy it! Please do remember to review and comment, etc. As always I love you guys like an author to her readers and I'll try and post again soon!
Love~ EatPrayDance