(A/N: Well, here we are on Chapter 4! I tried to make this one simpler than previous chapters, with an emphasis on the jokes and such, as story elements & jokes are two things I hope to balance out more in my writing. More "situational comedy". Or something. Here goes!)

Ch. 4: Outing

Summary: To Zim's surprise, Tak asks him on an "outing", which he assumes means "date".

Zim and GIR stood on the front lawn of Zim's base, wearing their disguises. Zim picked a random stick up and showed it to GIR.

"Now, GIR, when I throw the stick, you retrieve it and bring it back to me. It's called 'fetch', and it's VERY normal," he explained. "Any questions?"

"What flavor is it?" asked GIR.

"The stick?" Zim licked it. "Stick-flavored."

"My favorite!"

The alien closed his eyes and flung the stick. He grinned as GIR leapt over the fence after it. "GO FETCH, GIR!"

Suddenly, Tak opened the front door, her disguise switching on. She appeared to be in a hurry for something.

"Ah, perfect timing!" Zim waved. "I was just in the middle of- -"

"No TIME!" Tak dashed past him, then spun around and begun jogging in place. "Uh, hey, would you come with me on an outing later?"

"O-Of course!" he replied.

"GREAT, thanks!" Tak quickly kissed his cheek and sped out of sight, calling back to him. "I'll be back 7 o' clock SHARP to get you!"

Dreamily, Zim put a hand on his cheek. "An 'outing'. Tak asked me on an outing...neat..."

He was still standing there feeling his cheek when GIR reemerged from over the fence with a rake in his mouth. He spat it out.

"Got the stick!"

Zim gasped all of a sudden. "An...an outing. Outing?! DATE! GIR! Tak was asking me on a date! Like the ones humans always brag about going on!"

"Aww..." moaned GIR. "Agaaain?""

"This is the first TIME! EVER!"

"Oh, boyyy."

"7 o' clock sharp?! HURRY!" Zim yanked GIR into the base. "I must adorn my finest suit and tie!"

A second later, he burst back out the door.

"I must acquire a fine suit and tie!"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

After Zim stole a monkey suit from the flea market, he was obsessively checking himself in a mirror. Computer was reluctantly holding it up for him.

"You've straightened your bow tie, like, 17 times, are you done now?" it moaned, bored.

"Don't rush me, machine! One more time!" Zim made sure it was perfectly aligned. "Finished!"

"Finally..." Computer retracted the mirror.

"GIR! Bring me that box there!"

The robot toddled up to his master with a baker's dozen box of doughnuts. Well, a dozen, anyway.

"...there's one missing!" Zim noticed. "GIR, how could you?! These are for Tak, and this 'date' is REALLY important!"

"I'm SORRYYY!" GIR sobbed guiltily. "I was young and needed the money!"

Zim scoffed and snatched the oversized box away from GIR before straightening his bow tie yet again. He glanced at the clock.

"IT'S 7 O' CLOCK! AHHHH!" the Irken began hopping from foot to foot, balancing the huge box.

"AHHHHH!" GIR happily began panicking with him.

"TAK! HERE! SOOOON! GIR, RUN AND HIDE!"

"WH-UHHH WHY?!"

"I DON'T KNOW! OBEY ME!"

GIR saluted and flew down the trash can in the kitchen, screaming all the way.

Zim fiddled with the bow tie once more, trying his best to compose himself. He bolted to the door and opened it. Tak was standing there, reaching for the doorknob.

She paused. "Oh. You look...fancy? Are you ready to go?"

Zim blinked several times before answering, "Of course I am! ...dear."

"'Deer'?" Tak squinted. "As in, a ruminant mammal?"

"I mean, sugar!" Zim corrected himself.

"Monosaccharide...?"

"I mean, honey!"

"That fructose-y nectar stuff?"

"I mean, sweetheart!"

"Irkens don't have hearts."

"I MEAN, HOT STUFF! Look what I got you!" Zim showed Tak the doughnuts before she could object to the pet name. "They're filled with dark matter!"

"Uhh, thank you, Zim. But we'll have to eat them on the way," she grabbed his arm. "Come on, it's important; I'll explain. You see, the other day..."

Zim tuned out what Tak was saying as she continued dragging him away, occasionally snatching a doughnut from the box. He was too busy fantasizing about how well this outing was going to go. So well, in fact, that Tak would want to go on dates with him all the time, or "go steady", as humans called it. They'd probably smooch lots.

"...want one?" he heard Tak ask.

"Ohh, yes," Zim said in a daze. He leaned in and waited for the smooch.

"UH," uttered Tak, snapping him out of it. "Here you go." She handed him one of the doughnuts.

"..." Grumpily, Zim bit into it, letting the dark matter drip out of his mouth.

"Anyway, here we are!" Tak had led Zim atop a big hill. She gestured to a big telescope a few feet away. "Here, look through this!"

Zim did so. He could see a few flying saucers that appeared to be heading for the planet.

"Well, that's not very romantic."

"What?"

"Nothing," Zim said quickly. "What are those space coasters doing up there?"

"I dunno!" Tak admitted, shrugging. "But I spotted them from the telescope in the lab a few days ago, and I calculated the amount of time it would take for them to enter Earth's atmosphere. Unfortunately, I was right about them being headed here, but they haven't come any closer since this afternoon. Either way, they're on OUR turf now, so we have the right to take them out. A- -"

"Them too?!" Zim cried out in disbelief.

"...what?"

"This is so...TYPICAL! Why don't we just invite the entire population on our outing as well?!" A megaphone popped out of Zim's PAK. "HEY, EVERYONE! WANT TO GO ON A DATE WITH TAK?! PLEASE DO! SHE APPARENTLY TAKES ANYBODY AND EVERYBODY!"

He was so loud that Dib could hear him from his house. He was eating ramen for supper when he heard Zim's sarcastic yelling.

"Hey, Gaz," he said to his sister across the table. "Did you just hear someone yelling that Tak would date anybody?"

"You must've hallucinated it," Gaz slurped her noodles. "After all, 'anybody' includes you."

"Humph."

Back outside, Zim continued his rant.

"HERE! COME JOIN US ON THIS REALLY UNROMANTIC EARTH HILL RIGHT NOW!" Then he turned back to Tak. "HOW DARE YOU PLAY GAMES WITH MY SCHOOLGIRL HEART!"

"...Irkens still don't have hearts."

Zim groaned and stomped away. Embarrassed, he tore off his bow tie and flung it to the ground. He really thought Tak was starting to take him seriously as a romantic partner! She scampered up behind him.

"What are you all upset about now?" she asked, quite confused.

"I STOLE A TUXEDO FOR YOU!"

"Can you start making sense, please?"

"You asked me to attend this romantic 'outing' with you, but I suppose you dragged me out here only to oogle at some plates in the sky and then ask them to attend our DATE!"

"What? Date? This isn't a date. And I never said it was a 'romantic' outing; I brought you here to get rid of the UFOs, that's it."

"But you said- -"

"I never said 'date', I said 'outing'! It's not the same thing! You weren't listening to me at all, were you?"

"...heh?"

Tak let out a sigh. "So, you got all dressed up and gave me those doughnuts..."

"Because I thought we were on a date!" Zim finished, reddening at the word "date".

"...would you...LIKE to go on a date with me?"

"...!" Zim finally smiled. "Yes, yes, I would!"

Tak smiled back. "We can sometime. But right now, we have to get rid of those things before they land."

"Zim shall make short work of them! Fortunately, I brought along my homemade one-shot rocket launcher!" Zim yanked one out of hammer space. "Never leave home without it!"

He took aim at the flying saucers, exclaimed "FIRE!", and one humongous missile ("expertly" painted to look like Zim) went shooting across the sky straight for them.

Within the lead saucer, a Slugulonian noticed the missile drawing near.

"Sir, I think the Earthlings are firing at us," he told his commanding officer.

"Nonsense, private, that's just a welcoming flare!" The commander said nonchalantly. "Earthlings are peaceful creatures! Why, that's the very reason we're headed here! After our home planet of Slugulon was conquered by those blasted Irkens, I knew this was the right place to go to be safe from them! Just stay on cour- -"

BOOSH!

The Zim missile destroyed the fleet of spacecraft, creating a flurry of bright explosions in the sky. Tak stared up at it in awe of its beauty.

Zim leaned on his rocket launcher. "Yep...never leave home without it."

"Zim?"

"Hm?"

"This is the best outing I've ever been on."

(A/N: Wasn't that MUSHY?! These chapters just keep getting longer and longer...

And yes, the "Dib liking Tak" thing is still part of this story. I've only put Dib in for 2 little joke moments so far, but I have chapters ahead planned where he's in it more. Hope that doesn't bother you, but the comics gave me a new appreciation for his character.

Well, please review, fave and follow if you enjoyed this! And as always, check out more stories on my profile; I just wrote another one for Beavis & Butt-head! Also, another IZ one-shot coming up soon! It's got Skoodge and wiener jokes in it.

Au revoir!

PS, the dark matter doughnuts thing was based on a thing from Issue #2 of the Invader Zim comic series, which you should totally read! I just thought it was a cool idea, so I stole it.)