Hi there little darcy's. Gosh I'm sorry for the long wait, there were some things out of my control that prevented me from updates. However, I'm back and have some new chapters out. If you're following any of my other works than I just put a new chapter out for War Within and hope to get one out for Mistakes and Misconceptions. Also, when reading this chapter I was listening to "So contagious" by Acceptance. So if you want the whole effect of this chapter, maybe listen to it while reading? Until next time!

Chapter four: confessions

Why the hell he didn't go to her first thing he didn't know. 18. His girl was eighteen. Legal, a year past age of consent in New York. So why was he sitting in this lowlife bar, getting felt up by some whored out bitch who was wearing too much make-up?

As the hands continued to roam his body he felt a sudden wave of nausea and shoved her away. Her squawking did nothing to pull him back into her embrace and he practically sprinted for his truck and slammed the door when he got there.

He was angry, plain and simple. She'd been avoiding contact. Not answering his phone calls. No reply to his emails. Not even a hello on that damn cellphone he'd bought and spent two hours trying to figure out how to send a simple text message on. The worst part of it was that it was his fault. All he'd had to do was tell the truth. He could still see her face, hear the pleading in her tone when she asked him for the truth 4 months ago.

"Did.. did you kiss her?"

"Kid.."

All she wanted was the truth. He was supposed to care about her, only her. He'd said he would wait. And then..

And then he didn't.

"Please. Just- just tell meh. Ah won't be mad-"

"It's not important."

"It's important tah meh. Yah.. yah said yah would wait-"

"I meant it."

Fuck. He was driving angry too, racing through backroads that probably hadn't seen another car for years. He was supposed to wait for her. Had every intention of waiting. And then Jean..

"Great. So.. so yah can tell meh, and we'll be fine." She was trying so hard to stay calm.

"What's it even matter kid? It's in the past-"

"No.

He knew that she knew. She'd seen them together, he could smell her tears in the air after her and Jean broke apart. And it was the smirk that broke him. He'd tried to pretend Jean was her. Just a little warmth, just something to keep away the whispers that said he was no good, that he was a pervert and worthless. But Jean knew exactly what he was doing and the smirk on her face after he pulled away told him she knew exactly what she had done.

"Just drop it."

"Just tell meh and ah will."

"Marie-" She was afraid. He could smell the shift in her scent, taste her panic rising.

"Did you or didn't you?" Her cheeks were getting red

"You don't know what you're talking about."

Here, in the truck, he punched the steering wheel. All his girl wanted was the truth. All he'd had to do was tell her, "Yeah, we kissed. Yeah, I felt her up. She felt wasn't you."

But of course, he hadn't done that.

"Logan-"

"Look, I don't answer to you!"

"Ah know-"

"Get a boyfriend your own age, I'm a man. A grown ass man. And you're a little girl trying to play in the big leagues."

"Logan.. please.." Her eyes were filling. He had to fix it. Had to make it better..

"Just forget about me, alright? Get your 2.5 brats and a white picket fence."

He ran. Because that's what he did. Because that's what she needed. And now he was paying for it. He didn't blame her for not answering, not after how he'd treated her. But he was due for a screw up, or a good fight or a knife to the gut and he needed her to know just how sorry he was. Why he did what he did.

"Yah.. yah horrible."

"Nice of you to finally notice."

"Ah hate yah."

"Please, you can do better than that."

"AH HATE YAH!"

Even after all this time, it was those words that rang in his ears as his truck slammed head on into a semi.

Later on, it would seem like a dream. Just a normal day for her. Striding down the hallway, headed for class. Feeling her cell phone buzz, knowing it was him and ignoring it. And then the way the buzzing abruptly froze. She didn't check it, class was starting. And then she forgot.

And then Jean ran into Miss Storm's classroom two hours later, whispering and composure gone. Her hair.. it was so funny but that's what Marie remembered. Immaculate Jean Grey with red wisps of hair falling out of her bun. The two women turned, searched the room until their eyes settled on her. Storm pursed her lips, she was trying not to cry.

When she was brought to the medbay, she'd already been warned how bad it looked. So much damage.. Marie couldn't remember the last time he didn't have his trademark wife beater on. And yet he was bare-chested. Tubes sticking out from everywhere. An oxygen mask on his face. Bruises and traces of blood.

They were saying something.. his healing. His healing wasn't working because of the extensive damage.. the next hours were critical as Dr. McCoy tried to provide his body with enough support to keep going until the healing factor finally kicked in. They were saying these things, trying to reassure her, but she wasn't listening to them. She was listening to her voicemail.

"Kinda figured you wouldn't answer, but that's okay."

She ignored him.

"Darlin' I.. I did it."

She could have picked up the phone. She hadn't.

"I kissed her Marie. I.. I thought if I could pretend it was you.."

She could have picked up once. Four months he'd been calling.

"I ran like a coward. Cause I want what's best for you and.. and what's best has never been me."

Four months she could have answered.

"Anyway.. I'll keep trying. And Marie I.."

Four months she hadn't.

"Marie I lo-"

She heard the horn on the semi blasting in the background, heard a sickening crunch right before the phone went dead. As she hung up, she heard someone crying, sick heaving sobs that came out more like short screams. She didn't realize the sound was coming from her until Storm's arms came around her, crooning and holding her together as she fell to her knees, broken.

Over the next few days she would play the message continuously, trying to catch the words, trying to hear what he hadn't had time to say.

"Marie I lo-"

It always stopped there though. She didn't eat. She didn't sleep. Just listened to his voice and kept watch over him, a guardian angel that had failed at her mission. She was out of her own body, watching the two of them and she heard protests as she slammed the doors shut of his room and pressed a hand to his chest.

"Ah love you. Ah love you, ah love you.."

She tried to push the energy outward, press the words into his voice and get his blood moving, make his heartbeat strong. She knew she had succeeded when she half collapsed on the bed and could feel his hand in her hair.

"I love you too Marie."