Jon left Lord Eddard's solar in a daze. He had no idea where he was going, or if it was his feet that carried him. All he knew was that his world had abruptly been turned upside down. He didn't know what to think or feel anymore. There was no way of teeling the truth of his father's words, but down deep he felt that they were true. What reason would he have for lying to him like that? It made no sense, because he had nothing to gain from it.
Beneath those feelings of confusion, he felt a slow, burning rage at his former father, now his uncle. Why would he lie to him for all of his life? And why would he allow his wife to treat him worse than a piece of dirt. He never did anything to deserve it, other than existing! Curse them both. They're both selfish for treating me this way, I deserve to be treated better than some disease or burden.
He also felt bitter towards his mother, and his newly discovered real father. Why would they put themselves over the entire realm? Were they so selfish that they thought that their own feelings were above the realm? She was already bethrothed too! And he was married, with kids of his own! Why would he steal away a bethrothed woman? Even if she did come willingly, he should've known better. I don't care what Uncle Eddard says, the Mad King might've been the sole problem, but my selfish parents certainly helped ignite the Rebellion. And I'm the byproduct of their mistakes. I'm a mistake. It'd be better if I had never have been born.
Why did so many good men have to die, just so I could be born? I'd trade my life for all those people to be brought back to life. I need to be better than them. I need to live my life for the realm, regardless of the cost. My life will be lived for the betterment of the realm, and I won't allow myself to ever place myself above it. My feelings mean nothing compared to the entirety of the realm. I'll still follow my heart and join the Night's Watch, and live and die at my post. That's the only way I can repent for my parent's mistakes.
Jon didn't even notice that he had almost walked into his half-brother Robb. He had been wondering the halls of Winterfell aimlessly.
"Been smoking that milk of the poppy too much, Jon? You know that's not good for your brain." Robb jested.
"Haha, very funny, Stark. If only you were half as good at fighting as you are at jesting, you might be able to challenge me in the yard." Jon jested back.
"You know I give out as good as I get, Snow. What did father want? Why did he summon you?" Robb asked.
"I really shouldn't say, it's between us brother. I wouldn't ask around about it either, because father won't be pleased. Now if you'll excuse me, I'd kind of like to be alone right now, so have a good day." Jon said.
"Alright, but you know you can always talk to me if you ever need to. You know I have your back, always brother." Robb told his half-brother.
"And I'll always have yours." Jon said, walking away before Robb could reply.
Jon walked outside the castle and made his way to the stables. He glimpsed his little brother Bran, climbing something in the distance. Smiling to himself, he kept going and walked up to the Master of Horse, Hullen.
"Having a good day, Hullen? My father, gave me permission to go for a ride." Jon, lied.
"Alright, m'lord, let me get one saddled up for you." Hullen said, dutifully.
"Don't bother yourself, Hullen. I can saddle it myself." Jon said before the horse master would bother himself. Jon hated feeling like a bother.
"Alright, m'lord. Just don't be gone too long, it's almost time to sup." Hulllen said.
"No worries, friend. I'll be back soon." Jon said, steeping atop the horse. He had to lie to him, and he hated it, but it'd be too hard to leave if he told the truth. That's why he didn't bid farewell to his siblings. It would've been too hard otherwise. Jon rode to the gates of Winterfell, with his only companion, Ghost, who had joined him in the courtyard.
Jon rode off to his destiny.