Recovery was slow for his pack. Deucalion's arm and burns healed completely, although it took several sessions with the twins before he could move his arm around, let alone fight. Scott didn't lay a hand on him the entire time. An irking sense of respect—maybe something more—kept him from taking advantage of the injured man, or perhaps because the fight had left his eyes. In private moments, Scott remembered Deucalion saving him from that hunter, of the older man curling closer to him when injured and that something could develop from that...but the thought was crushed by darkness every time.
Even left untouched, issues still arose with Deucalion. He started having nightmares that flashed back to when his eyes were taken, thrashing in his sleep and waking in a panic-covered sweat. It grated on Scott's nerves, frayed at the edges of the control he tried to leash his temper with. Afraid he would lash out and worsen the situation, he sent Deucalion to the twins. When it didn't get better he made his way to Derek's room.
"You're his alpha," Derek explained with a shrug. Scott laid away from him, in every respect, pouting. At Derek's continued silence, he turned and shot his beta a look. The older boy sighed and continued, "He considers himself yours since you marked him, he has to. The twins can only do so much, you're the only one who's going to really be able to make a difference."
"It's not like I can heal him," Scott spat back, having learned that little tidbit from Deucalion months ago. The rest of his pack could take away people's pain, but he and Deucalion could not anymore. Something to do with the darkness that tainted them both, Scott was sure of it, although, too much of a coward to try and reflect upon what had happened the night of his change. He could feel it on his skin however, like a stain that never washed off.
"You don't have to take away his pain," Derek said and placed a hand at the base of Scott's back. "Even a simple touch can comfort someone." But Scott stayed stubborn, unrelenting until he awoke one night to Deucalion's hushed crying. And it was quiet, a human wouldn't have been able to hear it, but Scott could and it was like shards of glass scraping along his skull. Hot rage burned at the pit of his stomach from that pain, darkness stealing away into his chest and pushing poisonous words past harsh lips.
"I thought we were past this." Scott ran a hand over his face, trying to calm down. It wasn't Deucalion's fault, he couldn't control the nightmares. "Just go to the twins—"
"No, wait." Deucalion forced himself to quiet down and covered his eyes. "I'm sorry, I'll try to be more quiet. I thought—I can do this. Don't send me away."
It didn't make sense why he wanted to stay and it hurt to try and think on it. Scott snarled and stood up. Deucalion winced and folded in on himself, bracing for a blow. His shoulder, although healed, retained an interesting scar that looked a bit like shattered glass. Scott shook his head and tried to shake more than that. All the hatred and fury that crashed through him and made it deflate, too tired to keep arguing. He sat abruptly on the floor and shoved at Deucalion until he had his back to him.
"Just...go to sleep," Scott said and placed a hand on Deucalion's back, in the center where the tattoo of his old pack's symbol was. The man froze at the touch, slowly letting a breath out as he realized what Scott was doing.
"Scott?" Deucalion always tested Scott by saying his name, wanting to know if he was dealing with the boy or the monster. At Scott's lack of reaction the man shifted slightly, looking over his shoulder with red eyes. "It'd be more comfortable to get into the bed—"
"Don't push it," Scott warned, "I'm—" Close to his limit as it was, but it felt weak to admit. He willed Deucalion to understand the effort this was costing him, holding his darkness back to show a kindness. "Just go back to sleep," he repeated. Deucalion took the hint and stayed with his back to Scott. Relaxing after another few minutes and then, drifting off to sleep. Scott followed a few minutes later, head pillowed on his other arm, he rested on the bed. Darkness still flickered at the edges of his mind, but sleep dulled it and the two stayed silent the rest of the night. Deucalion suffered no more nightmares.
Scott awoke gradually drawn by a deep rumble of thunder through the fog. The sound of a smooth baritone, feather-like touches to his cheek reminded him of rain and for a moment Scott was in a forest, eyes closed and smile on his face. It felt like home.
"...Scott?"
Needles raced up his arm and Scott jerked awake. He felt more than saw Deucalion rip his hand away from Scott, face drawn tight in—concern? Scott blinked and the look was gone, instead Deucalion just seemed wary, which was fairly normal and the younger man heaved a sigh.
"Alpha?" Deucalion asked quietly, like he was stepping around glass.
"Was that you?" Scott asked. "Calling me awake?"
"I—yes. You weren't waking up." The older man's heartbeat increased slightly, his eyes faded to a glazed blue.
"That was your voice?" Which was a stupid question because who else's voice would Scott have heard. He shook his head. "Sorry, it just sounded—" He stopped himself from saying nice. It just didn't feel right. Awkwardness settled over the silence and Scott ignored the pain shooting through his left arm falling asleep on him.
"Thank you," Deucalion whispered, eyes still blind and face turned away from Scott. The white knuckle grip in the sheets and his ever increasing heartbeat gave away his nervousness. Or maybe it was just flat out fear of Scott lashing out, given their history. For the first time he felt this intense guilt.
The heavy quiet settled around Scott. More than the quiet he felt the flare of his temper and knew there wasn't much time left. He was unused to gratitude to say the least. It weighed on his mind, much like a pressure that pushed him to do more. It felt like a part of him that should be dead.
"I'm—" Deucalion tried to speak, his soft voice cracking, "I don't know anymore."
Scott frowned, confused. "About what?" Deucalion's shoulders slumped and he turned his head back towards Scott, sightless eyes fixed to the floor.
"You."
It was a word that held so many possibilities and meanings. Scott stared, unable to do anything else but try and process. His skin felt burnt, his heart pounded against his chest, and he couldn't get himself to care if Deucalion heard. It wasn't an admission of love or even liking him, but it meant something. To Scott, at least.
When the darkness broke through his lowered defenses, Scott didn't lash out. Instead, his violent urges focused inwards, tearing him down with bitter thoughts of self-loathing and hate. Deucalion was just trying to please him, to save himself from Scott. None of it meant anything. An ugly pain twisted around Scott's spine up the nape of his neck and whispered the truth; he was alone.
Scott swallowed, throat dry, and felt his hope flicker and die.
"It doesn't matter."
They left the country as soon as Deucalion was well enough to travel. Scott's plan worked perfectly; hunters who tried to follow his pack were killed with little effort. He used the advantage of the hunters' inability to move quickly in large groups with great success. Scott let Kali take the lead in eradicating their pursuers; she and the twins, with their raw strength, were able to handle most situations so by the time they got to England, there were no humans left chasing them.
Scott pushed to go further north, unsatisfied with the cities of southern Britain, until they reached Scotland. Research from various sources he had been scouring, as well as Deucalion's own knowledge, showed little hunter activity in that area. A larger city was picked, one that was a common tourist site, before finally settling. They rented out a house and struggled to lay low for the first time since starting out. Scott locked himself away in the first initial months, and felt like he was going insane. Being caged was a first for Scott. He became increasingly agitated and restless as echoes of darkness crept into his mind. He tried focusing on fully controlling himself but his pack's first heat got in the way.
It started one morning when Scott woke up, blinking as patterns of sunlight danced through his blinds. He and Deucalion still shared a room, but not beds, and when Scott awoke, it was to the sound of the other man whining. He felt the bubble of frustration swell in his chest and clenched his jaw, believing Deucalion had finally gotten over his nightmares weeks ago—only for his thoughts to completely derail as he became overwhelmed by a scent; a concentrated aroma of lust. Scott felt his stomach twist at the sensation.
"God, it's too early in the morning," he complained as he stumbled out of bed. Deucalion was turned away from him, probably realizing Scott was not in the mood. The boy repressed a sigh and left the room, snapping the door shut, and yelping as Kali nearly ran over him emitting the same scent. "What the hell?" Scott growled, voice stopping the woman dead in her tracks and she was forced to lean against the wall for support, legs trembling. Scott finally started to pay attention to what was happening around him, heightening his senses and growing concerned. "Um, are you alright?" He reached out to touch her and she actually let him, which surprised Scott more than anything. Kali never let anyone touch her.
The she-alpha let out a shaky breath, her scent cloying. Scott broke out into a sweat. He'd never smelled her arousal before and it assaulted his senses.
"It's fine, Alpha," she breathed out, shaking off his hand and pulling her overcoat around herself more securely. With his heightened eyesight, Scott could tell she wore nothing underneath. "Just the heat. I'm going out to find a human, is that alright?" The fact she was even asking his permission sent off more alarm bells. He stepped closer to her and Kali started to tremble with that scent rolling off her. She pushed a hand at his chest and glared, although desire was still in her eyes. "Alpha, if you want me then take me right now."
Scott gaped and hastily stepped back, almost tripping over himself and he reached for the wall. "Um—what? N-No, it's ok. G-Go find a human, it's fine. Uh—same rules as usual."
She nodded and practically dashed out of the house, leaving a dumbfounded Scott in her wake. Kali had never even looked at him like that, let alone offered to have sex. Scott tilted his head, contemplating if this was a female werewolf thing and went over to Derek's room to ask. He pushed open the door and gave an exasperated yell as the same scent hit him.
"Alright, what the hell?" Scott asked aggressively. Derek jerked away from his bed, coughing nervously, starting to sweat. He looked torn between moving closer to his alpha or staying where he was. His pounding heart and his scent told Scott enough. "I swear to God if you tell me to take you right here and now, I'm going to loose it."
"Uh—" Derek gave a full-body shudder and awkwardly stepped closer to Scott, trembling hands shoved into his pockets before he changed his mind and quickly turned around. "I mean—if-if you want..." His voice grew low with coy excitement, but cracked at the end and Scott could tell how uneasy he was. Derek paced around the room, shooting Scott conflicted looks of longing and lust, but refused to say anything, face bright red. It got annoying fast.
"You know what? It can wait." Scott pointed to the door. "Go find a human and work this out of your system, now." Derek raced out the door, although not before making an odd whine and brushing his entire body up against Scott's, letting the younger alpha feel his half-hard erection. Scott sighed and pushed him away, not even attempting to open up Aiden and Ethan's room.
"If you two are as jacked up on sexual energy as everyone else, leave!" Two lust-filled barks answered back and Scott resisted the urge to punch something, heading back to his room and planning to kick Deucalion out so he could find a human as well. Later tonight, when someone was sensible, he was going to get answers.
"Hey," Scott announced as he opened his door, "go out and—" He was cut off as Deucalion attacked his mouth, pressing tight against Scott and letting out a whimper. In all of their time together this was the first time he had demanded anything from his alpha. It was like being split in half, torn asunder as within that single moment, a small part of Scott wanted. Desperate and fleeting, he nonetheless felt his eyes start to close as he was truly kissed for the first time since Allison. It was in that fragile instant that darkness rushed forth, consumed him, and Scott felt a scream tear itself from his throat.
He threw Deucalion off him with a snarl as a wild fury coursed through his blood, unstoppable. He ducked low and barreled into the older man, knocking the wind from him. As they slammed into the ground, Scott felt his arm move by itself and crashed his fist against Deucalion's face for even touching him at all, followed by savagely biting down on his neck for the kiss. The man groaned, but in pleasure rather than pain, thrusting his hips up against Scott's. Hands grabbed a hold of the boy's waist and ground against him. Scott yelped and leapt back, irritated and confused.
"What the hell is wrong with you!?" he yelled, almost suffocating as he struggled against the warring emotions inside himself. Deucalion didn't respond, but got up again and made for him. Scott lost his patience for an answer and struck out, palm connecting with the other wolf's ribs and a crack sounded. Deucalion fell to his knees, finally grunting in pain, but he remained hard and his scent only grew stronger.
Which is how Scott ended up sitting out on his own roof the entire day sulking.
The only one of his wolves to return to the den with a human was Derek, leading a beautiful woman with auburn hair and just a hint of wrinkles along her eyes, pausing frequently to kiss her in the street. She didn't complain.
Scott blinked and frowned. Derek had a thing for older women, right. Memories of Kate and Jennifer ran through his mind and Scott shuddered, turning his thoughts elsewhere as he waited for the day to pass.
It wasn't until night fell that Kali finally returned home. Her heels clicked sharply along the pavement, shadow defined against the bright moonlight, but stopped short when she saw Scott. He gave a lame wave and continued brooding, playing with a spare wolfsbane bullet he had kept after the hunter attack. Derek had given it to him, citing it as a token of luck and a precaution.
After a few minutes of waiting, Kali appeared on the roof to join him, thankfully dressed in her casual indoor clothes. Her scent was still strong, but not near the potency it had been earlier.
"First heat, I take it?" She rolled her eyes at Scott's huff that he'd picked up from his wolf form. He pocketed the bullet. "I'll answer what I can."
"Cool, so...what the fuck?" Scott could have been more eloquent, but he chose not to be. Of course using the word 'fuck' probably wasn't a good idea as Kali shivered at his voice and Scott quickly scooted back in alarm.
"Relax, Alpha." She sighed, running a hand through her hair. "I really don't want to mate with you, no offense."
"Same here," Scott assured her.
"Listen, packs go into heat about once every year," Kali began, "Sometimes more, sometimes less. It's like the weather; a bit unpredictable. With us fighting and moving so much last year I wasn't surprised when nothing happened. Now that we've settled down a bit, it'll start to regulate."
"Oh god." Scott could feel the ache start in the back of his head.
"What you've done today is pretty much what most modern alphas do," Kali admitted. "Originally during a heat the alpha would go to each pack member and give them release—" Scott must have made a face, because Kali started to laugh "—but that's not so mainstream anymore. All the alphas I've been under have let their pack go off and pick up humans, or other wolves, to deal with their desires. For years I've had Ennis, this was the first time I had to go out and find a human again." She paused. "Actually it was pretty good, I haven't been with a woman in about a decade."
"How long does it last?" Scott asked.
"Oh, the worst of it is just a day so long as our needs are met." Kali twirled her hair with a finger. "Just don't be surprised if we're a bit twitchy over the next few days and keep coming up to talk. We'll be drawn to our alpha until the heat leaves our system."
"What should I do about Deucalion, then?" Scott demanded. "He won't go out and look for anybody else! He's just been in my room waiting for me to return. Even when I hurt him he still kept coming. H-He—" Scott wasn't sure how much to tell Kali, as they weren't particularly close. He generally wasn't open with the rest of his pack outside of Derek.
"Of course he won't leave." Kali gave him a puzzled look. "He's yours. He considers himself yours since you marked him. Deucalion is very mired in the older ways of wolf lore. He won't go out and seek anyone except his alpha—I don't even think he can."
"Great..." Scott sighed, ugly feelings tried to arise in him and he pushed them down. When Deucalion had kissed him, too much happened. Too many emotions had crowded against him and it had hurt. He was scared to face that again.
"What's the problem? You fuck him all the time."
"It's not that," the younger alpha disclosed quietly. He didn't trusted Kali, but Scott needed someone to talk to and Derek wasn't here. "It's that he kept trying to touch me, t-to make it intimate. He probably doesn't have any control right now, but...I can't stand being touched." It felt weird admitting to someone at last and he never would have thought it'd be Kali. He left out the part about being scared, about actually wanting intimacy but being unable to attain it anymore thanks to this darkness. He didn't want to appear too weak. The woman next to him frowned, turning her head away in thought.
"Huh, strange," she hummed. "I'm the same way." Both alphas looked at each other in a new light. "Yeah, I can't stand when people try to touch me, it's why I have to be on top. Ennis understood somewhat, he never argued about it anyways."
"I wasn't always like this," Scott continued, opening up just a bit more. "But ever since—" and he gestured to his whole body "—it just doesn't seem right."
"I understand," Kali said, whether she truly did or not Scott couldn't tell. The woman rolled her eyes at Scott's continued brooding and looked off to the side, thinking. "Just use your voice with Deucalion, we can't disobey orders while in heat. If you command him not to touch you, he can't. It'll be tough on him, but you can get everything done and it'll ease his heat to a bearable level."
"Mmm." Scott leaned back against the roof, looking up at the night sky. The stars always appeared still and calm, he wished it would be the same for him. "Why am I not really feeling any of this?"
"Probably because of who you are." At Scott's raised eyebrow, Kali shook her head and gave an exasperated sigh. "You're our alpha. It'd be pretty stupid if the alpha were incapacitated as well during this."
"Good point." The two shared a companionable silence for a long time after that. Scott figured in part due to the fact that Kali was drawn to him right now, but he still liked it nonetheless. Besides Derek, Kali had never given him trouble for his decisions or judged him. "Thanks Kali," he said, hopping back up. "Better go deal with the stubborn wolf now."
Deucalion was still waiting in his room, body taunt with want and arousal, sitting on Scott's bed, head in hands, erection straining dark red between his legs. The older wolf snapped to attention when Scott entered the room, rushing to the young alpha.
"STOP," Scott ordered and just like Kali had said, Deucalion stopped a foot away, not moving, although his body strained against the imposed space restriction.
"Please," the man begged. His skin was flushed and sweaty from constant stimulation, precome dripped from his cock just from being in Scott's proximity. His voice and the rough quality added to it in arousal, made Scott shiver. He squeezed his eyes shut and tried to calm his heartbeat, body on the brink of an emotional collapse. Like murky water that hid deadly churning underneath, Scott knew he needed to do this as fast and detached as possible if he wanted to keep his sanity—what was left of it anyways.
Scott took a deep breath and immediately realized that being this close to Deucalion in heat, as his scent slammed through Scott, was a mistake. For a moment Scott began to panic until he realized what was happening. The darkness was...fading?
Like a tidal wave, as the scent of the heat washed over him, his temper was pushed further to the back of his mind. Scott inhaled again, a little stunned as he felt himself relax for the first time in over a year. This was—he was himself. Scott grit his teeth and tried not to cry. The relief and happiness within him was almost too much.
"Alpha?" Scott was pulled back to reality. Deucalion's eyes were wild with raw lust and hunger, but vulnerable too. Scott could pick out fear lurking in his bright red eyes, always there, always wary. He wanted Scott now more than ever before, but it was still forced upon him and he was terrified of how Scott could use it against him. If what Kali had said was true, he could make Deucalion do anything. The man trembled in front of him, both in desire and dread. It reminded Scott of that first night...
...but he could be different right now.
Scott finally smiled and pushed against Deucalion, backing him up against the wall until their bodies were flush against each other. Deucalion gasped at the contact, tilting his head to the side, displaying his neck. Scott reached out with his hands to caress down Deucalion's collarbone, human fingernails scraping gently across the skin. Scott felt the call of the heat push harder against him, felt the darkness fade even more and at last, brought his lips to Deucalion's neck. He mouthed at the flesh, almost kissing it, teeth and tongue scraping and tasting sweat and a spice that was all Deucalion. Scott's smile widened and he lavished the skin underneath him, covering himself in Deucalion's scent and taste; relishing in the familiarity of his body and the sense of security it seemed to radiate.
Deucalion finally moaned loudly and Scott slid his hand down to start pleasuring him, slow and firm strokes with just a hint of his nails. Deucalion shuddered and choked back another groan, clearly fighting against the urge to curl closer to Scott.
"Wh-what are—" Scott pulled back just enough to glance up at Deucalion. The older man's eyes were a bright red, torn with several different emotions, but confusion being at the forefront. Scott couldn't blame him; he was being gentle and that was a side of him Deucalion had never really experienced before. "Scott?" The name was torn from Deucalion's throat as the boy sped up his strokes. Scott leaned up close to Deucalion, teeth scraping teasingly at his earlobe.
"What do you want?" he whispered. He could order Deucalion to do anything right now, anything. But Scott's mind was free and instead, he wished only one thing. "Tell me how I can help." Deucalion opened his mouth but didn't answer, or couldn't seem to figure out how. Scott's free hand cupped his cheek and he busied his mouth kissing Deucalion's neck again, waiting for a response. He sunk his teeth into the flesh just hard enough to leave indents and Deucalion whimpered, hips thrusting against Scott.
"I don't understand..." It drew Scott out of the moment and he stopped what he was doing. Deucalion whined at the loss, but as Scott studied him, he saw how stunned the man really was. He had fully expected Scott to use the heat against him, or to abuse him, or simply ignore him. Deucalion had probably expected Scott to do hundreds of other things except what he was currently doing. He wasn't used to Scott being kind.
Scott's body moved on it's own; he grabbed both of Deucalion's legs and hauled him up, grinding on him in such a way that had the older man crying out in ragged desire as his body spasmed in pleasure and he clutched at Scott's back out of reflex. He flinched, waiting for Scott to strike him at the intimate touch, but froze as nothing happened—as he was allowed to touch for once. Scott thrust against him, lips traveling up his body until they met his throat and then he trailed kisses along Deucalion's jaw and their foreheads were pressed against each other.
"Scott?" Deucalion asked again, gaze sharpening in realization.
"Hey," Scott responded and thrust again, making Deucalion whine and fold in on himself, head falling to Scott's neck. "Heat's keeping me sane right now," he explained quickly, wincing as the darkness lashed out at him. His temper beckoned and Scott shrugged it off, nipping at the offered neck in front of him instead. "Now tell me what you need." Deucalion's breath came out harshly against Scott's neck and he felt a wetness against his shirt collar, but ignored it.
"Just fuck me," Deucalion muttered at last, fingers digging into Scott's back as he started meeting him thrust for thrust. "I want this to be over."
Scott didn't know what he had expected, but he didn't think it would hurt to hear those words. Deucalion still didn't trust or want to be intimate with him, but he was desperate enough to play along with Scott right now. Part of the boy recoiled; he'd thought that maybe...just maybe, things had been changing between the two of them.
That had been stupid on his part. Deucalion wasn't his by choice and probably didn't want to do this; he had to, he didn't have an alternative; his body was making him act this way to Scott. The darkness called again, reminding Scott he was alone. It pushed to be let back in. Scott shook his head and pulled back, releasing Deucalion and letting him stand again.
He gave his best devil-may-care grin. "I can do that." He didn't let the pain show. Deucalion seemed at a loss again, like he had been expecting a different reaction, but Scott dragged him over to the bed. He let Deucalion lay on the bed, back to Scott, before grabbing his hips and grinding teasingly against him. Deucalion dropped his head against the sheets, whining in anticipation as Scott undid his jeans. He noted some slickness around Deucalion's entrance and swiped a finger over it, making the other man buckle and choke out a groan.
"Did you already prepare yourself?" Scott asked and received a heated nod. More guilt crashed into him, imagining Deucalion waiting in this room by himself unable to find relief. The building hormones in his body, clamoring to peak and the increase of fear at what Scott would do to him. Maybe he had even been hoping Scott would ignore him. Darkness flashed through his mind, blinding him momentarily with pain and Scott pressed his palm to his head. He must have made a noise because Deucalion stilled underneath him.
"Scott—"
"It's cool, we're good." He couldn't let his pain show. This was for Deucalion, not himself. Scott steeled his mind and quickly slid into Deucalion. The man gasped and immediately shoved himself back down further onto Scott, growling and demanding more. Scott thrust in as fast as he could, unsure if he should give the other time to adjust. Deucalion didn't seem to care as he took everything Scott had, moaning filthily and pushing back eagerly.
"This. Just more of this," Deucalion gasped, voice catching in his throat at each thrust.
Scott reached forward and pinned Deucalion's head down with one hand, fingers sliding through coarse bronze hair and pounded relentlessly against his body. He wanted more. He knew that now, it's what he always craved. The darkness actually protected him from these feelings because it could never happen. This was as close as he and Deucalion were ever going to get. Scott shook his head, this was no time for tears.
Deucalion writhed underneath him in pleasure, begging for more. Scott knew what he needed, what his body craved and pulled Deucalion up by his hair, in a way he knew it wouldn't hurt, and bit at his neck.
"Do you want to touch yourself?" Scott egged him on, careful not to order Deucalion. He continued to slam against the older man, his remaining hand on Deucalion's hip switching to circle around his waist. "You know you can, right? You said you wanted this to be over." Deucalion's fangs extended in excitement as he jerked against Scott, a hand coming up to stroke himself hurriedly in time with Scott's movements. It didn't last long with that much stimulation. Deucalion clenched around Scott and the boy watched as he released, come coating his hand as he felt the low whine vibrate against him.
Scott quickly pulled out, knowing Deucalion was oversensitive but—
"Don't stop."
Scott halted his movements and looked over at his bedmate. Deucalion's body was drenched in sweat, hair covering his eyes, but Scott realized his hand hadn't left his cock and he was still touching himself. His scent was as potent as ever and the young man realized that they were far from over. Apparently, Deucalion didn't get over-stimulated during a heat. Good to know.
"Please..." He didn't like how Deucalion begged and Scott jumped forward, lining himself up and sliding back into the older man.
"You don't have to beg," he said before he shushed the man and started up a fast pace again. Deucalion's face twisted, as if he realized something about Scott's words, but it quickly crumbled to desire as the heat consumed him again and he pushed back against Scott's thrusts. "Just tell me what you want," Scott reiterated.
"Say I'm yours."
"I—" Alright, Scott hadn't expected Deucalion to say that. This was the heat talking, of course. It had to be. Scott nodded and let his eyes glow a bright crimson, growling the words, "Mine." Deucalion shuddered violently, almost coming undone just from that. It confirmed for Scott that it was just something any submissive wolf in heat wanted to hear.
It continued for several more hours until the heat left Deucalion's body and his scent started to wane. Scott collapsed next to him, breathing hard. The fact that he had finally managed to do something right caused a small smile to come to his face.
"Are you ok?" he asked quietly. Deucalion answered with a low groan, but there was no pain in his voice and Scott took that as an affirmative. He struggled to sit up and glanced over the other man's body, happy to see no bruises or blood besides where his neck had been marked. Scott took a deep breath and was relieved that the cloying scent was finally dying. Which meant—
Scott almost blacked out from the pain as darkness completely engulfed him, so sudden that he nearly didn't realize what was happening. It was as if every area of his mind had spikes being driven through it, needles dripped in acid pounded into his skull and Scott fell back against the bed. A soft whimper escaped him. The pain was numbing and Scott curled up on himself, clutching at his temples. An ugly aftereffect of the heat; where before his hormones had been blocking his temper now nothing was left to contain it.
"Scott...I wanted—"
Deucalion started to saying something and Scott could feel as all the darkness and rage shifted to focus on the man next to him and he panicked. He couldn't let this happen. Deucalion didn't deserve his temper and with the heat still in his system, Scott could make him suffer in even worse ways than before, could order him to hurt himself. No.
Scott threw himself out of bed and tumbled to the floor. He needed to leave this house, he needed to get away from people. He didn't want to hurt anyone and in this state, he'd lash out at even Derek.
"Scott?" The boy turned and snarled, the name grating on his already abused mind and Deucalion recoiled away, back to the bed. Scott saw the fear flood into his red eyes. "Alpha?" Scott's body stood and started to stalk forward, power and anger coiled and ready to unleash.
He couldn't make it out of the house, didn't have the willpower to move that much so Scott did the only thing he could. His claws slid out and Scott buried them deep in his arm, underneath his tattoo until blood was steadily dripping to the floor. It pulled him away from the pain in his head, long enough to drag himself over to the bathroom and slam the door shut, lock it and crawl into the bathtub.
His anger and darkness could rage out all it wanted in here. It wracked his body with pain until he had screamed himself horse. But Scott didn't care. He couldn't hurt anyone here. True he was strong enough to rip the door off its hinges, any of his wolves could, but he was in too much pain to move with nothing to direct his temper at and the others would be too scared to check on him...he hoped. Scott jerked as another wave of pain washed over him and he contemplated the worth of being himself for a few hours again if this was the cost.
Visions of his pack and old friends swarmed his mind, of their disgust and loathing over what he was now. He was alone, always. There would be no escape from this. Scott blinked and realized he had started crying. It would have to be worth it, he decided. If he could choose to be kind, even once, then this pain was worth it. He shivered against the cold, white porcelain of the bathtub and tried to ignore the screams in his mind and the pain in his body.
It turned out that his punishment wasn't just a one day ordeal. For his brief hours of freedom, Scott suffered days of increased darkness, blotting out most rational thought. His temper would flare at the slightest thing and even though he was able to leave the bathroom after several hours of hiding in fear, he could not stay at the house. For the rest of the heat he would be untouchable and vicious and generally left as soon as he could, until he had calmed down enough that he deemed himself safe. It was a horrible price to pay and it hurt his pack to not be around their alpha the one time they needed him, but the alternative was far worse.
As Kali had suggested, their heats normalized and about every eleven months, Scott would wake up to a certain scent saturating his house. At first, it was relieving that he was released from his internal prison and he practically threw himself at Deucalion, pleasuring the older man until he was on the brink of collapse and he saw the other completely satisfied. Then, before any words could be exchanged, Scott would lock himself in the bathroom to wait out the worst of the pain before he could muster the strength needed to flee their den. Derek would always return to the house while Kali would disappear for almost as long as Scott, probably considering the house not worthy of her attention if their alpha wasn't present. The twins would leave to find humans, but always came back the next day to check on Deucalion. Scott would stay far away, forced to deal with his own frayed emotions threatening to bubble over and he avoided his pack the rest of the week.
When Scott finally returned, tensions would be high and he could sense the strain it put on his pack, but no one ever tried to convince him to stay. They realized he left only for their own good.
After the first heat, when Scott walked back up to his room, he expected Deucalion to act coldly towards him, knowing he had been uncomfortable the entire time during the heat. Instead, he would never forget that when he opened the door Deucalion had been sitting by the desk, fingers tracing over brail, reading a book, but at Scott's scent, he had flinched so hard that it startled the boy. Trying to be kind had been pointless, if anything it had made their relationship worse. Scott had slumped and dropped down on his bed, turning away from Deucalion as the hope that he could ever be more than this died inside of him.
"Are you still in pain?" Scott almost thought he had imagined Deucalion asking that it had been said so softly. Scott bit his bottom lip and squeezed his eyes shut. He told the truth.
"I'm always in pain."
"I—" If Deucalion had been trying to apologize, Scott was glad he didn't. He shouldn't be sorry, Scott deserved this. "Thank you."
This time when Deucalion said those words, he sounded like he meant it. His voice was hoarse with honesty and it touched something deep inside Scott's chest. He stayed with his back to Deucalion but it was a close thing, in that moment he desperately wanted to connect. Instead he imagined Allison's hand holding his and he clenched his fists until the skin turned white.
"I wished I could have done more," he admitted, his voice just as broken.
Silence, and then, "You did enough."
It was tough and brutal on him, but system worked and Scott eventually grew accustomed to it.
He had the pack integrate into the city. Most of them getting jobs, not for the money, but to alleviate the boredom of staying so long in one place. Kali was the only one that refused, but Scott didn't argue as she always seemed to be busy anyways. He found a local veterinary's office short on staff and offered to help. Animals would always shy away from him, but were never aggressive and his coworkers praised his knowledge and patience, especially with dogs. His lab coat and supplies were kept at the office but he brought his notes home to go over and found comfort in the familiar data.
Around the house he noticed the twins' construction equipment piled up at the front door, hard hats hung from the coat hooks, and plans for the buildings they restored scattered across the kitchen table. The two seemed happy with the simple but hard labor.
Deucalion found employment at the city library and the books that covered the desk in their room he was translating to brail. His staff badge was always on their nightstand.
The twins and Kali didn't seem taken aback by his choice of service and Scott wondered if this was something from his old life, but it felt too personal to ask. Although one day when he came home, Scott found several of his favorite novels lying on his pillow. He was so caught off guard by the kind gesture he almost thought they were gifts from Derek until the older boy told him otherwise. Scott wanted to ask Deucalion why, but fear and self-doubt got the best of him and he remained silent. He brushed a hand across a copy of Heart of Darkness and wondered not for the first time about his own shadows and what Deucalion was trying to tell him, but pushed it out of his mind.
Most surprising was when he found police files pinned up across the living room walls and discovered Derek had offered his skills to the police, posing as an expert tracker. Scott guessed it had more to do with Derek's deep need to solve things, like his family's murder for example, that drove this particular instinct rather than goodwill. But it didn't matter because they now had an insider within the police force and could keep an ear out for suspicious murders.
Scott didn't trust that they were fully safe, that nothing else would lurk in from the outside to attack his pack. If Beacon Hills had taught him anything, it was to pay attention to the crime and unsolved murders within a city. Part in paranoia, Scott had Derek use his position to look up cold case files. Hunter activity was low in their city, but he could never be sure about the supernatural world. Even after nothing turned up, Scott still had Derek keep checking for anything unnatural.
He and Deucalion...continued their troubled relationship. Where before, after Scott had first been able to transform, he had been hopeful that he could see the signs of change in Deucalion's behavior towards him, but now it was much less clear. It frustrated Scott that as he tried to control himself more Deucalion only appeared to retreat further from him, spending great lengths of time at the library or with the twins while at home—but maybe it was just because Scott had finally given him the option.
At the beginning of their stay, after the first heat, Deucalion had become more subdued and stopped challenging Scott all together. He didn't resist any of Scott's advances, stopped talking altogether. The boy had worried at first and backed off, trying to show Deucalion he didn't want to hurt him anymore, that he was trying so hard. It only made the older man upset and he finally started rebuking Scott. It almost made him snap, pushed Scott so close to the edge and threatened the small bits of his reclaimed sanity that he tried to run. Deucalion blocked his path to the door.
"Stop this!" Scott clutched at his head as searing pain clawed at him. "Do you want me to hurt you?"
"It's who you are," Deucalion replied, eyes a blood red behind his glasses. A part of Scott thought they looked desperate. "Not this false boy you pretend to be, the kindness you try to act out." It felt like he'd been slapped and Scott's throat tightened. His claws forced their way through the skin of his fingers and his fangs grew. "See? This is the real you, Alpha."
Scott didn't understand why Deucalion was doing this. Why now? He searched the man's face, wanting to find a clue—any clue. "You think I can fake what happens during the heat? Can you?" he spat out and for just a moment, he saw doubt cross Deucalion's face. It disappeared in an instant and instead the man turned his head away and snarled in defiance, body braced for a fight. Scott lunged forward, his claws sunk deep into the wood of the door behind Deucalion as he pinned the man against it. Fire shot through his veins and burned his entire body and Scott realized he was trembling from the pain.
"Attack me." Deucalion tried to make it a command, but it sounded like a plea, and somehow Scott managed to figure out the answer in a haze of pain. He smiled instead, strained but genuine.
"You're testing me." His voice came out like a sob even through his grin. "You hate me that much?" Scott was a little awed that Deucalion would be stubborn enough risk his life, risk everything, because he refused to believe a person could change. But, if Scott's sin was wrath then Deucalion's was pride, he'd always known that.
"I—" But Scott had seen through the charade now and forced the darkness back, pulled himself back together from the brink and collapsed on the floor. Or tried to, but Deucalion grabbed his shoulders and caught him. Scott heard his heartbeat and could tell Deucalion was frustrated enough to make his breathing erratic. "This is just a lie. People do not change."
"I'm not a very good actor," Scott muttered against Deucalion's chest, the pain sapping all of his energy. "But if it feels better to hate me, that's ok. I'm the monster, remember? I just—I want to stop hurting people. Even if people can't change, I can try." Deucalion slowly slid to the floor, taking Scott with him and they sat like that for hours. The pain eventually dulled to a distant throbbing and Scott let out a slow sigh of relief.
"There are many types of monsters out there."
Scott blinked and lifted his head. Deucalion was turned away from him but his body was limp, face defeated. "Do you believe me?" he asked. Deucalion's jaw clenched and Scott started to pull back until a hand caught his arm.
"I don't know what I believe anymore." Deucalion looked just as lost as Scott felt. "But I guess I still don't know what to think about you either."
"That makes two of us," Scott agreed and winced as his temper flared. Deucalion let go of his arm, but didn't try to move away. Scott didn't have the energy to hope for more, but he accepted things as they were.
That was their life for three years. Scott kept careful tabs on the world around them, doing research on all the wolf packs he could get information on, watching the ebb and flow of power, managing a job and his wolves, working around heats and arguments. It...well, it almost felt like having a family again and without Scott's notice, the darkness receded slightly in his mind: stabilizing his mentality and letting him relax.
Deucalion returned to a sort of normal behavior; not fully submitting to Scott but the resistance in him changed. Instead of anger in his eyes there was more of a challenge, a spark that grew brighter when Scott responded to it. Although most of their interactions remained the same, Scott noticed that more occasionally, especially during a heat, Deucalion would ask to be called his.
It was nice.
At least until he heard about the white wolf.
"It's a rumor," Kali was the first to tell Scott after he tracked down each pack member individually to question them. "He doesn't really exist."
"Talia spent time looking for him after she first transformed," Deucalion recalled, "but she never found anything."
"The white wolf is a story, Scott," Derek explained. "My mom told it to me and my sisters all the time. It's meant to champion the best attributes of a werewolf, but he's not real."
"According to legend," Ethan began, "he was the last true alpha—well, before you. He lived like a hundred years ago and his pack controlled all others in Western Europe. He could change into this huge white wolf at will, not the struggle you have to go through or the slow slide of transformation Talia did."
"Then," Aiden continued, "one day, he vanished. No one knows what happened to him. Some say he outlived his entire pack and grew tired of watching friends die. A few say hunters killed his pack. Others say he just got tired of the world."
"Regardless, he'd be dead by now."
Ethan shrugged and the two continued eating their lunch, but Scott was good at following patterns and looking for clues and certain rumors had popped up that perked his interest. There was another wolf out there like him. Another who could become a complete wolf...and a true alpha.
"Do true alphas live longer?" he asked Deucalion one afternoon. The man's fingers stilled over his book and he turned his head slightly in the direction of Scott.
"It's not well known," the older wolf responded. "But many agree that yes, they do. Your aging is slowed down to a fraction of a human's, and once you hit your prime, even as you grow older, your body won't show any signs."
"So he could technically still be alive?"
"If he even existed in the first place."
Scott didn't end his search, pouring over every hint and scrap of evidence he could find, becoming obsessed with the white wolf. He laughed a little when he realized that Stiles, after everything, had rubbed off on him. Scott stopped going to the veterinary office, stopped going out, occasionally stopped eating. As soon as he had some idea as to where this true alpha could be found, he and his pack would move out again. They'd stayed still for far too long.
His search continued for months, eating up all his free time. A positive effect, with all of his energy directed to study, his darkness became exhausted and Scott practically ignored Deucalion for the most part. He only spoke with him to ask questions or request updates on the pack. Far too late did he sense the tension from the older wolf.
"Why are you doing this, Sc—Alpha?"
Deucalion would slip sometimes, in calling Scott by his name now. Sometimes it amused Scott and other times it hurt as the darkness would lash out at hearing his name. Their relationship was unpredictable and turbulent, like the wind. The undercurrent of power that charged their emotions troubled Scott.
"What's the point?" Deucalion pressed, trying to get him to open up and bringing Scott back to the present.
It was night. Scott had spent the past two days gone, hunting for clues. He only returned home on the brink of collapse because he'd forgotten to eat and sleep. It was wearing on Deucalion and the rest of his pack. He lay in his bed, staring at the ceiling, still puzzling through data. Deucalion snarled at him and that finally grabbed the young man's attention.
"It's not your problem, now drop it," Scott growled back. Deucalion flinched, but stayed strong.
"Why is this so important to you?"
Scott stayed stubbornly quiet, not wanting to think on the answers too much himself. His reasons were private and maybe desperate. He didn't want to appear vulnerable in front of his pack, Deucalion especially, but the older man kept prodding, reaching out to touch Scott.
"Try to trust me." Words that pulled at Scott's chest, made him feel...cared for. Which couldn't be true, the darkness whispered. Deucalion didn't care about him. His touch snapped Scott's careful control and his emotions burst out like vicious caged animals.
"Because he's like me!" Scott yelled, irrational anger building up within him. "He and I are the same. He could give me answers! I wouldn't be alone." He stumbled to his feet and shoved Deucalion, sending him staggering against the wall, eyes burning red as he tried to regain control. He hated himself. He sounded like such a child right now. The darkness pricked at his mind, slowly dragging across like barbed wire, berating him, feeding in to the self-loathing.
"Y-You're not alone." Deucalion's own eyes were wide, his glasses having been knocked off. "You have a pack, you're not alone."
Scott laughed bitterly and pulled away.
"I've always been singled out," he sighed, "ever since I became a wolf, pack or not. Stop fighting me on this."
"You're my alpha, I'm concerned." Deucalion tried to reach out and touch him again. The gesture was a lie, a false comfort. Even when Scott struggled to show a kindness Deucalion still barely tolerated him during a heat...right? The darkness wrapped more securely around his mind and squeezed like a vice, reminding him of his failures. Even in the most recent heat Deucalion had told Scott to 'get it done', he just used Scott as the boy used him. Scott wanted to scream and whirled around instead.
"I'm your abuser." His voice was steel. "I know what I am, don't pretend otherwise."
"He's not real, Alpha." Deucalion's eyes had dimmed and he no longer looked at Scott, but his face remained set.
"He is real." Scott was determined. "I know it, he's like me. I have to find him. You wouldn't understand."
"I wouldn't understand?" And for once Deucalion looked furious, eyes becoming red and face thunderous. He clenched his fists to cover the tremble in his hands, voice cracking as he spoke. "I wouldn't understand hearing about a true alpha, someone different from his peers? Different like a demon wolf is? Someone who could understand being alone, separate from the rest, even with a pack? I wouldn't understand!?" He released a ragged breath and suddenly sagged against the wall. Deucalion didn't often reveal his own thoughts and feelings, especially about any time before coming to Beacon Hills, and talking about his personal reasons for traveling to find Scott in the first place blindsided the boy for a moment. The irony was not lost on Scott about how often they had mirroring arguments. But...something about his words pushed through the darkness and self-loathing.
Scott rushed forward and crashed against Deucalion,mouth finding his neck and biting hard, hand sliding down and brushing over his groin. The older man jerked in surprise, Scott not having touched him in months, and moaned as the boy started licking at his chest.
They tore off their clothes and Scott fucked the other alpha deep into the mattress, claws scraping against his side and teeth nipping at his neck. Deucalion whimpered at the attention, back arching against Scott's chest. The boy pressed their bodies together and slid his hands down the other's chest, generally never touching him this much. His hands came to rest at the older wolf's hips and he thrust in, bringing his mouth close to Deucalion's ear and whispering, "Mine."
The man underneath him screamed as he orgasmed, body shaking and muscles clenching, sending Scott over the edge as well.
He collapsed on top of Deucalion's back, heaving himself up a few seconds later to move over to his own bed. A hand caught his arm.
"Y-You're not alone," Deucalion panted, face still buried in the sheets. Scott finally remembered him saying those words long ago, when Scott first started fighting against his temper. "Please believe me, you're not alone." For one desperate second, Scott wanted to trust him, needed to believe that Deucalion—someone—really cared for him. But like a rope around his neck, the darkness pulled taunt and cut off his emotions, telling him the truth, as always. Of course he was alone.
.
.
A/N: Thank for all the hits! Glad you guys are enjoying the story. Reviews, as always, are greatly appreciated.