AN: I am so sorry for what seems like an eternity. I have been extremely busy and to be honest not in a writing mood. However, I have been reading as much ff as I can! My life has been hectic: I've had paper after paper to write, the writing test to prepare for, AP World History review sessions, friends, and the Dropkick Murphy's concert down at the House of Blues in South Carolina. Oh yes, I went and they rocked my fucking socks off! I even got up on stage (with all the other girls in the pit) when they played "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced". It was such a rush. Okay, well I'll stop with the bragging, and get on with the very belated chapter…
Sorry again…
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Chapter 3
I returned to my apartment, still thinking about Susannah. Was she upset with me, because I was leaving? Or did I push her too much?
I don't want to push her, but sometimes, it's nice to—as Susannah calls it—make out. But we haven't gone very far in a while, and I'm becoming concerned. I'm worried about Susannah and if she'll ever recover from that thing with Paul and me. Some days are promising, but then others—she's so distant with me intimately that I think there's no hope.
I throw myself down onto my bed and put my hands beneath my head. While staring up at the ceiling my thoughts seem too intense and suddenly I have a headache. I get up slowly and pad into my bathroom. After popping an Advil into my mouth, I turn on the sink and cup my hands underneath the stream of water. I splash some into my mouth and swallow. I stand up and look at myself in the mirror; I notice the deep circles under my eyes and I frown.
After standing there for five minutes, I remember that the faucet is still running. However, I don't turn it off, but listen to it. It doesn't sound like the ocean, but that's what it reminds me of. Shaking my head at my reflection, I sigh and turn off the water. While walking back into my bedroom, my cell phone rings.
"Hello?" I answer the phone.
"Hey, Jesse!" It's Kirk.
"Hey."
"You wanna hang out tonight? There's this kick ass dorm party I'm going to."
Figures… "Actually, Kirk, I have a bunch of homework to do and a paper to write. So I probably won't be able to join you tonight. Thank you for the invitation."
"Dude…homework? Gosh, well too bad for you because it's supposed to be one hell of a party!" Kirk does what he says is a rebel yell and then hangs up.
I put my phone on my dresser and sigh. I had been to a couple of parties with Kirk and sometimes Susannah. They had fun, but I never saw the point—I still don't. I don't like to drink alcohol, so why would I like a dorm party where that is the only thing to do? And "score chicks" as Kirk says, but I have Susannah, so why would I want to do that either?
I sigh again and flop down onto my bed my thoughts on Susannah (who else?).
I smile to my ceiling while I remember her face, the way she used to smile at me before I kissed her, the smell of her hair. I take sharp intake of breath and close my eyes. Nombre de Dios, she is so beautiful, mi querida.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I awake to my alarm blaring for the fifth time this morning, and realize that I'm late! My eyes are crusty and I feel extremely tired. While frantically getting up and rushing around my apartment, I stub my toe on my doorframe and curse in Spanish loudly. After throwing some food into my mouth, I run out to my car and jump in.
Going at least ten miles over the speed limit, I pull into Susannah's drive way to see her standing on her porch looking anxious. She smiles timidly when she sees me and bounds down the steps.
"Hi," she says while throwing herself into the passenger seat. "I'm going to be late!"
"I know," I say quickly while throwing the car into reverse. "I'm sorry. I didn't get much sleep last night."
"Another sex dream?" Susannah asks while buckling up and looking over at me. I blush at the word sex, I know I shouldn't, and I know I'm a grown man, but she uses it so lightly.
"No," I say with a glance over to her. She looks tired too; there are dark circles under her eyes that she tried to cover up with makeup, but didn't quiet pull off the look. "I was thinking…"
"Oh," Susannah says while brushing some hair off of her bare shoulder. She's wearing a tank top and jeans with her favorite boots. It's a warm day, but since we both have a late class, she's got her leather jacket in her hands. I smile over at her and then slam on my break.
"Shit Jesse!" Susannah yells.
"Merde!"
My car stops before back ending the very expensive car in front of me. We are slammed back into our seats and I glance over at Susannah, talking very fast in Spanish.
"Jesse, I'm fine." Susannah says impatiently. "Are you okay? Do you want me to drive?"
I shake my head and drive on. My hands are shaking. I almost got us killed. I almost killed Susannah. I would never be able to forgive myself if I was the reason Susannah died.
Still shaking I park the car, and Susannah asks me again if I'm okay, before kissing me and practically flying off to her class. After getting my stuff, I make my way to the library to do some studying before my psychology class.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
While sitting in one of the corners of the library on the third floor a girl (Amy) in my Anatomy class comes over and asks if she can sit with me. We are silent for a couple of minutes, but then she strikes up a conversation.
After talking for about an hour, I realize that I'm late to my class, and I apologize to her and run off to my class. I slide into the auditorium panting and take a seat in the back—something I never do. Cursing myself silently I get out my notebook and tune into what the professor is saying about the cerebellum.
I find my thoughts wondering during the professors lecture, however before I go too far I always jerk myself back to the present. I'm running on empty and strangely enough, my eyelids are extremely heavy.
Finally class ends and I walk to my car, it's time to meet up with Marc and discuss the conference. I drive carefully over to the Coffee Clutch making sure I don't go over the speed limit and always keep my eyes and thoughts on the road. When I get there I see Marc in line.
"Well hello there!" Marc pulls me into a hug/handshake.
"Hello, Marc. How are you today?"
"Just fine, mate. How 'bout you?"
"Tired."
"I know what you mean…" Marc says somewhat sadly and I notice the circles under his eyes. Wonder why Marc's not getting much sleep…
We order our coffees and then sit down in a secluded part of the shop.
"So, Jesse, I'm so glad you can do this for me, you have no idea how much trouble I would be in with the association if I didn't show up for this thing. I haven't been able to go to the last three, and I really need to send someone there on my behalf. Who better than you to do that? Right?"
I nod my head and take a sip of my hot coffee. Marc pulls out a packet of info and hands it to me. I rifle through it, reading bits and pieces. It looks like this could be my ticket to a job right out of Med school. I smile to myself and think, "Finally, I'll be able to support Susannah."
Marc goes on to explain about the Association that is holding the conference. He explains that it will be long and arduous, but the outcome is always nice. "And besides," Marc adds while adding a bit of sugar to his coffee, "You'll get to mingle with doctors much more impressive than me."
I nod my head and then look over at the clock. I'm late for lunch with Susannah. "Marc, I'm sorry, but I must go."
"But of course! The tickets are in the packet…you leave tomorrow at eight PM." Marc beams at me while I get up and shake his hand goodbye. I practically run out of the door and into my car.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"You're late," Susannah says while I sit down at our place in the quad.
"I know, and I'm sorry." I lean over and kiss her on the cheek.
"Coffee with Marc go well?"
"Yes, I leave tomorrow night at eight PM."
Susannah looks over at me. "So soon?"
"Yes."
Susannah doesn't say anything, but instead just stares down at her hands. "Jesse…I'm sorry."
Surprised, I am silent for a moment. "Sorry for what?"
"For being stupid and selfish and, well, just stupid."
"Susannah, you're not stupid, nor selfish." I say while taking her hands in mine.
She yanks them away, "But I am! I haven't gotten over the thing with Paul. I know he's not going to mess with us anymore, but whenever I look at you I have this feeling in my stomach. Like you're not yourself. Jesse, what if something happens over in DC? What if I need you and you're not here?"
"Susannah," I say while grasping her hands and pulling her into me. "Nothing will happen, and if something should, then I would be on the first plane back. You know you can always call Marc. Marc will come to you in a flash if you need him. I promise, everything will be fine." I hold mi querida for a while, enjoying the contact. She shakes for a while, but eventually quiets down and allows me to hold her.
"Jesse," she murmurs into my chest.
"Mmhmm?"
"Can we go over to your house?" Susannah asks while pushing herself away from me a little.
I look down at her in shock. "B-b-but what about our classes?"
"Screw them," she says with a devilish smile on her angelic face and I melt right there. All my morals fly out of the window, and all I can think about it holding Susannah in my arms, claiming her lips as mine.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
AN: Rawr…I don't much like this chapter very much…but I promise once Jesse gets back from the conference, things will pick up! Next chapter will come sooner, I promise! Thanks for reading, and again, sorry for the wait…I suck I know.