This chapter took me FOREVER to edit...=.=...ugh...hope you guys like it.

Title: Reflections of a Regret 3
Author: ice
Genre: General, Family
Rating: PG-13
Pairings: AtoJi
Summary: An introspective view of Jirou's life from a childhood to adulthood from the views of his family.

Disclaimer: I can only wish I owned PoT...Atobe and Jirou would be official.

I don't even know why I gave birth that that useless boy. I had thought that he would have been useful in case anything happened to the heir, just in case, but he was too soft. He looked too soft, like he couldn't do anything, as if he would become a pushover. I liked that he was quiet and did not disturb me nor my husband when we were working, but it was annoying. I did not want an aggressive spoiled boy as backup, because such a child would more than likely attempt to overthrow his older brother, but I also did not want a meek little boy as a child either. He would amount to nothing.

Every time I tried to make him react a little more aggressively by randomly scolding him for things, he would just sit silently, face blank, or tear up slightly. Unlike my oldest. Now, he reacted, questioned what he did wrong. That was good. He took initiative; but this boy just would not DO anything. It was frustrating. I eventually gave up on him.

Especially when I found him playing with his brother. That was irritating. He was going to make his brother just as useless if he was going to constantly make his aniki play with him all the time.

Sending Jirou to school instead of leaving him at home was one of the best ideas my husband and I ever had. It would definitely get our name heard (I just hope they won't associate his uselessness with our name), and at the same time, get Jirou out of the household. He would not be able to brother his aniki, I had thought gleefully.

Besides, I had Mei-chan. She was an adorable little thing, with my beautiful looks and her father's sharp eyes. She would definitely grow up to be a heartbreaker. And unlike Jirou, she was loud, she took initiative when she wanted something--although, it was a little irritating when she refused to stop crying at times. The servants were happy to take care of her though, so I suppose that was alright.

I refused to send her to school, however, no matter how it would be better to have someone else representing our family instead of Jirou. Mei-chan would be attacked by all the little boys all wanting a kiss from her. I would NOT allow such a thing to happen to her.

I eventually did have to let her go to junior high at Hyoutei, however. My husband brought up the point that she would need to meet other people, and what better way than to send her to an elite school? I was reluctant to do so still, no matter how much it would be beneficial. She was my little girl, even if she was driving her governesses crazy with her attitude. Of course, my husband then reminded me that she needed to get rid of that attitude and to learn how to mature instead of being spoiled or she would never be able to integrate into society. How would I like Mei-chan to insult the other women when we were at social gatherings, he had asked. I was horrified at that thought of course, and had to relent.

I still wished that someone would be able to watch over her at school though, but I would not ask Jirou. That boy could barely take care of himself, much less his precious sister. He would come home late at random times, and sometimes not even returning home. He had better not have joined some yakuza gang or such. Then again, with his attitude, he was probably being bullied by them instead, but either way, we did not need such a thing sullying our names.

But then we heard his name mentioned as being part of the tennis team that went to Nationals. Impossible. That useless boy managed to accomplish something? He would have needed to take action to be on that team, but I knew that he was still as lazy as ever, sleeping his days away, even at school. When I attended socials, I heard other mothers mentioning that they heard their children talking about some boy who always slept in class and could be found asleep anywhere and at any time at school.

Then Mei-chan commented that Jirou probably got lucky. What perfect sense! Of course Jirou got lucky. It was absolutely impossible that Jirou would ever amount to anything. Even when that team won Nationals during Jirou's last year at high school, this logic made perfect sense. Jirou would never be useful to this family.

When Jirou abruptly announced that he would be moving out of the house, I was ecstatic. He was finally going to be disassociated with our family! Now, he either had to make a name for himself, or remain nameless. Either way, it would benefit us. So we paid for his tuition at university. If he became famous, the fame would come back to us. If he remained nameless, well, we could always claim that he was not from this family, that he was just a charity case.

A few years after that, Mei-chan found a perfect husband, one who would take care of her, and also bring wealth to our family AND raise our social status. It was perfect. My husband was also happy for her. And the young man, was such a nice one too, both handsome and responsible.

During this time, our oldest son also found his wife. She was part of a slightly higher class, which definitely helped our social standing, and was talented and beautiful. She was the perfect Japanese wife, quiet and graceful. Of course, she would never be as perfect as Mei-chan, but she was good enough. Although, Mei-chan really did have to work on being less outspoken at times. I frowned at this thought. Jirou would have been better in this aspect. I grimaced at this thought. Perhaps it might have been better if he had been born a girl due to his meek personality, but it didn't mean that I had to visualize that.

In any case, our family was absolutely perfect...until my husband fell ill. When I heard that he might not survive, I despaired. He was a man anyone could have wished for, attentive, kind, and allowed me all the freedom I wanted. My family had been strict traditionalists, and disagreed with my more wild personality along with my choice of such a liberal husband, but even they had to admit that he was ideal for me.

But then he mentioned that he wanted to see Jirou. I didn't understand it. After all this time, he wanted to see Jirou of all people? But it was his choice, and my son complied. However, I was irritated when he came back saying that he could not locate Jirou, that it would take a while before they could. Where had that useless boy gone? He should have left easy trails to follow, and been registered as every citizen should be, and yet he wasn't? The trouble he causes us.

But then a cure was found, and I completely forgot about Jirou. He was not important afterall. When my son found that the Atobe Enterprises had a part in my husband's recovery, however, I was ecstatic. We may be getting the break we deserved. Being connected to the lap of luxury would be absolutely divine. I encouraged him to secure a contract with the Atobes, and so he went.

When he came back puzzled, my heart almost stopped. Did that mean that he had failed? No. That couldn't be possible. He had succeeded so well in school in securing all those connections and integrating himself into the elite. How could he have possibly failed?

Then he told us that that useless boy was the reason my husband was going to recover.

I was in shock. That was impossible. He found Jirou? Or did Jirou somehow manage to receive the backing of the Atobes by himself and Atobe-san was the one who told my oldest this? That meek little boy? Impossible.

And yet, here we all are, preparing for the social held at Atobe-san's mansion tomorrow.

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I've been attempting to reevaluate my opinion of Jirou ever since my oldest dropped on us the fact that Jirou was the one who helped us.

It didn't seem possible at all, and yet, here we were in our limo, all riding to Atobe's mansion, each clutching a bag of necessities and a change of clothes. The entire ride there was quiet. Everyone seemed to be a little contemplative, and I, I couldn't figure out how exactly had Jirou managed to endear himself to Atobe and integrate himself amongst all these people, and yet have absolutely no word of it come back to us.

My daughter had told us that Jirou did not use his last name anymore, but still, someone should have connected the clues before he had left school. Yet, no one ever brought the issue up when I went to socials. There were absolutely no mentions anywhere about Atobe-san keeping around a little blond-haired lover. Now that I think about it, Atobe-san has never been featured in any kind of scandals, strangely enough. You would think that someone that wealthy would have been mentioned in the grapevine somewhere at some time in his life. Yet, all anyone has ever said or heard has been praises or comments about his eccentric personality.

Soon we left the city, driving through what looked like the countryside, but was likely what was the front lawn of the Atobe property, judging by the elaborate metal gates we just passed. The road eventually led to a large mansion surrounded by other vehicles. Surprisingly, not all of them were limos. There were people mingling near the front entrance as people exited their vehicles and greeted each other. It seemed as if everyone was familiar with each other.

I frowned. That meant that we would also have a difficult time integrating ourselves amongst them, despite our relation to the host's lover.

My husband and son both appeared calm, but Mei-chan was beginning to fidget nervously. Her fiancee had been called to an emergency and had not been able to attend, despite her protests and his disappointment. Eventually, her fidgeting reached the point where as she began to step out of their limo, she tripped over the helm of her gown and fell out...only to be caught by a handsome young man.

"Are you alright?" He asked.

"Y-yes." Mei-chan blushed.

He only raised an eyebrow and said casually, "Careful where you step next time," before entering the establishment.

...only to be stopped by a call from a tall silver-haired young man. "Ah! Shishido-san, be nicer to girls. They're not all out to get you, you know," he admonished and gave an apologetic look to us before continuing on his way with 'Shishido-san.'

"Really now, did you even see her? You're still too innocent Choutarou..."

"No, I'm not!" Cam the protest as their voices faded away.

Shishido...Shishido...I frowned, I don't recall them being anyone of importance. Although, the name DID sound a little familiar for some reason...

Then we entered the place ourselves. Mei-chan and I gasped at the brilliance we were greeted with. My husband and son were in a similar state. While our own place was decorated with expensive paintings and elaborate furnishings, this Grand Hall entrance was absolutely beautiful. It looked like the inside of what could have been the palace of a duke or king, or possibly even one of the great churches. Velvet and silk fabrics draped at the entrance, beautifully done portraits and landscapes hung on the walls of the hall, grand chandeliers hanging from high ceilings, carpets that looked so soft that it was almost a sin to step on and dirty them.

A voice broke us out of our awe.

"Oi, Yuushi! What's taking you?!" A young man with short, shoulder-length red hair at the end of the hall demanded.

"Ah...I apologize," A deep seductive (it was the only word to qualify it) voice came from behind us. The tall man with dark-blue hair adjusted his glasses and nodded to us, "Excuse me, I hope you don't mind me interrupting your...view," he said as he walked around us. He had sounded almost condescending. I frowned. This was not how I had expected to be treated. Shouldn't these people be showing more respect to other guests?

"Mother," my son lowly said, "this gathering is for the families of Atobe-san's close friends. They probably know how Jirou was treated by his family, and even if they didn't, they probably could have drawn some similar conclusion from the fact that this is the first time we've shown up at something like this when they've most likely gone every single other time."

I scowled. Well! Still, that was no way to treat a guest. And where was Atobe-san, shouldn't he be here to greet us? We ARE his lover's family after all. Even if I have yet to figure out why Jirou seemed so important to him.

In any case, we continued on our way. Eventually, we reached the ballroom, where all the festivities were to be held. The ballroom was just as magnificent as the hall, marble pillars seemed to stretch forever upwards, polished marble floors, a grand staircase covered with red rich red velvet on the far side of the room, an orchestra playing on the left side of the staircase while clusters of round tables stood on the other side near the wall and coming around to where they stood. Several families were already seated at some tables, mainly the elderly and older adults. A few children ran around, playing on the dance floor and running up the staircase. Several young men and young women stood around, conversing with each other.

My son found an empty table and led us over to sit down. A waiter immediately came over and served us drinks before leaving a plate of refreshments with us.

I frowned, commenting to my son, "Wouldn't it be better if we sat with another family? It is a social gathering afterall."

My son shook his head. "No, they know we're outsiders; it'd be awkward for both us and them if we did. All we can do is wait until someone approaches or we split up and talk to them separately."

My frown deepened as I sat back.

After five minutes of silence, Mei-chan began fidgeting again. "Um...I think I'm going to go walk around..." She said as she stood up and walked off towards one of the groups of young adults conversing with each other.

Then a couple came over to our table and sat down across from us. They smiled at us as they introduced themselves as being of the Shishido family. "We're Shishido Ryou and Ohtori Choutarou's older brother and sister. You?"

Ah, so that's why the name Shishido sounded familiar. There had been a little scandal between the university professor, Shishido Ryou and famous musician, Ohtori Choutarou. One of my acquaintances at one of my socials had mentioned them, saying that they had shocked their families when Ohtori Choutarou had announced that he was not going to marry any girl because he had his Shishido-san and was not going to give him up even if they disowned him. There had been violent protests at first, mainly because Ohtori was the heir to the Ohtori firm if anything ever happened to his father, and so could not be homosexual. At that time, I had no idea why one of the main protests had been because Shishido's family was only of the middle class. Though now, seeing that their older siblings were married, I suppose they must have settled that argument already. Such a sad fate for the Ohtori family though, losing both siblings to such a lower class.

In any case though, glad that someone decided to approach us and relieve us of our isolation, I introduced my family. Surprisingly though, after hearing that we were the Akutagawa family, they exchanged a glance and gave us a sympathetic look. Not understanding why, I asked them, "So when has this gathering been held since?"

"Starting about five years ago I believe. This is the fifth one so far." They managed to say before a child ran up to them tugging on this hands and dragging them off.

"I apologize, we need to leave." The girl replied as they left.

"How rude." I muttered. "Children running wild like that here."

My son gave me a look of exasperation as my husband continued to stare out around the room. Confused I opened my mouth to ask, "What are you-" Only to be cut off by a yell of laughter combined with squeals of giggling children. I looked over in the direction of the noise to see a young, red-blond-haired man slide down the banister of the grand staircase with a child clinging onto his back and several other children tumbled down the stairs and slid down the steps, all landing in a mess at the bottom of the staircase. The young man picked up the child on his back and placed him down amongst the other giggling children. Again, again, they chanted happily.

I raised an eyebrow. A man of that age playing with children? How immature. I wonder what family he belonged to. Even if he was quite beautiful. He actually looked almost as beautiful as Mei-chan, I had to admit. Exotic red-blond hair falling in soft curls around his face, a thin, lithe figure, a pale, smooth complexion, and a feminine face.

"I see you've managed to tame the little hellions." A deep voice drawled. I looked up to see Atobe Keigo standing gliding down the steps. What the magazines and other women said were true. He was quite handsome, and his black, tight leather pants and blood red dress shirt only emphasized his lithe, muscular body. As well as having a flawless face, he was the diva many claimed him to be.

The red-blond amongst the children looked up lazily and grinned, "Keigo, glad you're down. Wanna play with us?"

Why I never, even if Jirou was the useless boy I always thought he was, that did NOT mean that he could be treated like some toy to be thrown away after a while, and at a gathering at that!

Atobe sniffed, raising his head. "No, thank you. You can have your fun without me." He managed to say before being bombarded with the children and young man as they piled on top of him. "JIROU!" He growled as he landed on the ground.

Wait. THAT was Jirou?!?! I was shocked. Jirou was not the quiet, meek boy he was when he lived at home, he was not as faceless as he had seemed with no particular attraction. Here, he was actually being loud, exuberant, and was just as attractive as the rest of our family. How had this happened? Unless Atobe-san had given him a makeover. I frowned. That would make sense, actually.

Atobe snapped his fingers, stopping the orchestra and managing to get the attention of everyone present, who shuffled to their seats at the tables. I hadn't even noticed when the table had filled up since we had arrived. Mei-chan had returned, looking more relaxed, and the pair of boys from the hallway earlier had sat across from us also.

"Now that everyone is gathered. I would like to introduce a new addition to our little group this year. I would like everyone to disregard what opinions you currently hold of them for today. After, if you would like to return to your former opinions, you may do so." Atobe announced. "Jirou?"

"...Keigo?" Jirou asked, confused as Atobe held his hands and led him over to our table. When Jirou caught sight of us, he froze.

I stood up and made eye contact. "Jirou."

He looked horrified and torn as he looked between his father, his older brother, Mei-chan, and I. Then he backed up and attempted to run off, but Atobe held his hands tightly. "No, no, no, No, NO! I don't want to!" He looked desperately between Atobe and their hands.

"Jirou. You have to. You've been putting this off long enough."

"B-but..."

"Jirou, please, everyone here is worried about you. Every time I hold a gathering like this, you're always alone with me. They've all long realized why, and they support you, but you need to get over it yourself or patch it up. It's affecting you, too." Atobe explained, sounding surprisingly gentle.

Jirou looked down silently. It was a change from his earlier behavior.

"Oi, Jirou! Your depression can be cut with a knife these days, ya know?" The red head sitting at our table stood up and shouted.

"Mukahi-senpai!" Ohtori Choutarou said, aghast at his senpai's bluntness.

"Well, its true." The red-head scowled.

When I looked back at Atobe and Jirou, I found that Atobe has been slowly maneuvering Jirou closer to us, until eventually, he was in front of us. Jirou looked stricken as he looked up at me.

Then my eldest stood up and gave Jirou a hug. "I've never really wanted you to go away back then." He said as he released Jirou from the hug.

Jirou looked stunned. "You...remember?"

My eldest shrugged. "I was a kid. I don't even remember why I got mad that day. You didn't have to stay away forever, you know."

"But I thought you were busy...you said that you didn't need a little brat hanging around you all the time bugging you to play with him..."

"Like I said, I was a kid. I did visit you a few times though, but you were always asleep."

"Oh..."

"Onii-san." Jirou looked over at Mei-chan. "I'm sorry."

"Wh-what for?"

"For never trying to get to know you."

"......"

I frowned, why was Mei-chan saying sorry? She had done nothing wrong, and my eldest had done the right thing in ignoring Jirou if the child was going to be unreasonable about the issue. If anything, Jirou was at fault.

"Jirou." My husband called.

"...Yes?"

"I've never been actually raised normally, being thrown straight into the business world as a child much like I did with your brother. It was the only way of parenting I knew of. But while your brother seemed to take to everything, you didn't seem like the type who would. So I ignored you, not knowing how to deal with you and not wanting to learn how. I apologize." He stood up and bowed to Jirou.

Jirou backed up. "Fa-father..." He then rushed to raise my husband up and after a moment hugged him. "I'm sorry, too."

My frown only deepened. I don't understand why everyone seems to think they are at fault when it was obvious that Jirou was the one at fault. He should have told us if he had made a friend like Atobe Keigo. Then we would have treated him better because obviously, he wasn't as useless as we had all thought he was.

A pregnant silence rang out after I said this. Jirou gave a half-smile at me and bowed, saying, "Yes, Mother. I apologize."

"Well, you should." I scoffed. "Now that we're done, Atobe-san, please, continue with your plans."

Unexpectedly, Atobe narrowed his eyes at me and was silent for the next few moments. "I see." He snapped his fingers. "Kabaji!"

"No! Don't!" Jirou clung onto his lover with a panicked look on his face.

Atobe paused with his hand still in the air. "And why not? She is disturbing the peace."

"B-but, but..."

Atobe raised an eyebrow. Jirou shook his head. "P-please don't. It's only for tonight, and it's settled with everyone else." Jirou bit his lip anxiously.

I don't understand. What, exactly, was Jirou talking about. Surely, Atobe was not about to throw his lover's family out.

Atobe paused and glanced over at me, staring contemplatively. I stared back. He wouldn't dare.

Then he lowered his arm, arrogantly announcing, 'Yes, I WOULD dare to throw you out." I gaped. "I would throw you, and ONLY you, out. Clearly, you are unwelcome here. I have no idea why Jirou would want you to stay, but I will comply to his wishes, considering that it is his family that I am attempting to clear the premises of." Atobe glared at me. "Do not think you have the authority to do anything. I can ruin your reputation, and ONLY your reputation if I wanted to. You will not be able to even show your face anywhere without being scandalized. It is only by Jirou's generosity that you are still here in one piece. Be grateful." He sniffed and wrapped an arm around Jirou's waist, leading them away back towards the bottom of the stairs, as I stared incredulously after them.

He was threatening ME? His lover's MOTHER? How dare he. Even if he has much influence and wealth, he needs to learn respect for his elders!

Then I heard my husband sigh. My son gave me an exasperated look. Mei-chan stared at me as if I had destroyed something important to her. "What?"

"Mother, Atobe-san gave us a chance to make up with Jirou. If you can't understand that we've done something wrong, it was pointless for you to have come."

"Jirou-nii-san is nice..." Mei-chan said softly.

My husband stayed silent. Apparently, he was not going to support me either. I glared at the table as I sat down. The two young men, apparently Jirou's friends, glanced at me.

"You know, I think you've got a really skewed sense of what's right and what's wrong." The red-head commented.

"Or maybe she's just been spoiled too much and allowed a little too much freedom to continue with her bratty attitude." The blue-haired man replied almost scathingly.

"Her values are twisted."

"Very much so. I wonder how her parents raised her. She's from the lower-upper class. Parents were traditionalists. Wonder how she turned out this way."

"Hmph. Who knows."

I glared at them. They were questioning my values? How dare they. It seemed that youth had no respect these days. And my family. I can't believe Jirou turned my family against me. My son, my husband, my precious Mei-chan.

Yet the little party continued on its way. The food was served, the other guests began to chat--perhaps about me considering that I heard my name a few times, all the while I sat there quietly as my rage stormed inside me.

Later that night, as I prepared for bed, I took a walk outside in the hallways. I was still too enraged to sleep. I do not understand why everyone took Jirou's side and supported him instead of me. What did I ever do wrong.

Without realizing it, I climbed the stairs, leading up to another hallway of guest rooms. They were all silent. But then I heard soft voices coming from the room at the end of the corridor. The door was open a crack. Curious, I silently padded up to the doorway and listened.

"Why did you want her to stay?" I realized it was Atobe's voice I was hearing.

"I wanted her to have a chance with everyone." Jirou's voiced sounded. I scowled. Me? HE was giving ME a chance?

"Obviously, it didn't work. Everyone was appalled by her behavior by that time."

"I could always hope."

"She didn't even make any attempts at mingling either."

"...I know."

"Do you want them to come back next year?"

"...." A sigh echoed. "If they want to. It'll be up to them."

"Mmm..."

"Ne...Kei-chan?"

"Yes?"

"How did you know that I needed that?"

"Ore-sama knows all." Came the arrogant reply.

"...Thank you."

Atobe snorted. "Of course. Never let it be said that I don't take care of what belongs to ME."

Jirou giggled. "Yes, Kei-chan."

"Mmm...."

"Maybe by next year, she'll have cooled off."

"Perhaps. Now sleep, Or I'll fuck you into the mattress."

I stared at the ground, horrified that I was hearing that, never mind that they thought that I had a problem.

"Mmm....but Kei-chan, what if I want to be fucked into the mattress?"

I scrambled away from the door. I did NOT just hear that boy sounding seductive. I ran off down the hall and down the stairs all the way to my room.

Not realizing that Atobe knew that I was there the entire time.

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Atobe chuckled. "Jirou." He muttered through his teeth as he continued to create a vivid bruise on Jirou's neck.

"Nnghn?"

"You realize that your mother was outside the door listening to us this entire time, right?"

"EHHH?!?!" Jirou sat up straight in bed out of shock. "Seriously?!"

Atobe only smirked.

"Oh man..." Jirou moaned as he collapsed back into the bed. "I don't think I can ever face her again. Why didn't you TELL me?!"

Atobe chuckled. "Because you wouldn't have been yourself then." 'And you wouldn't have done that seductive little purr either.' He added mentally.

Jirou only groaned in response as he buried his head under the silk pillow.

Please leave a comment or review!

XD Personally, I loved that last scene...*snicker*

And surprisingly, for ONCE, I'm not listening to a Kazuki song..._...but it's only been about 10 minutes since I last listened to one of Kazuki's songs...cause I wanted to see how Atobe's were...LOL! =.=...I am SOOOOOOOOOOOO obsessed with Kazuki-sama..._...