"So, are you ready?" Sam asked quietly beside him.

Castiel took in a deep breath and smiled as he let it out forcefully. His eyes were peering through the glass of the door under the large wreath and he could make out a few bodies talking animatedly behind it. "Yes."

He could feel his hands shaking inside of Sam's, but he did his best to calm the nerves that began coursing through his body. He feared that he would walk into this house and everyone would immediately recognize him for what he was. A nothing. A wicked sorcerer who had somehow bewitched Sam Winchester into falling in love with him. He was still unsure how he had accomplished that feat, a fact that pecked at the back of his brain.

"Alright, Don't worry. They're going to love you." Sam said with an excited smile before he reached out and opened the door. Castiel stepped aside to let Sam enter first and followed in behind him after another deep breath. He could hear a bunch of voices, all of them cheerful despite the bickering notes in their tone.

"I Don't care what you say Bobby, I am going to baste this thing the way I want to damnit. Now get out of my kitchen!" A woman's voice could be heard over the hum of other conversations and Cas could see a scruffy lumberjack looking man crossing the hallway's opening before turning around to face the direction he had come from.

"Fine Ellen, but Don't come crying to me when that thing is as dry as the backwoods of Kentucky." The man huffed, though the warmth in his voice betrayed any notes of irritation.

Sam snickered and shook his head as he moved towards the end of the hall. Castiel immediately felt uncomfortable with the good natured ribbings that were taking place. The same words could be said at his family's Christmas but they would be uttered in an entirely different tone. It dawned on Castiel that this was his opportunity to be with a family who truly loved one another. His palms began to sweat at the thought.

The bearded older man turned back towards the hallway and his eyes brightened a fraction. "Sam! Thank god boy- Ellen here is ruining our dinner."

"Hey Bobby." Sam moved forward and pulled the man into a bear hug. The man he called Bobby hugged him back for a moment before pulling back and taking a good look at Sam.

"Leave Ellen's cooking alone will you? She wont want to do this anymore if you keep dogging her."

"Yeah, yeah." Bobby waved Sam away and was about to move but then caught a glimpse of Cas over the mountain that was Sam's body. "Oh, that's right. You brought someone home with ya." Bobby moved out of the narrow hallways opening to allow Sam to move through and into the larger room. Castiel followed and took in his surroundings.

He was standing in a breakfast nook of sorts, the kitchen to his right and a large living room to his left. He let his eyes pass over the living room quickly, where he found multiple men in baseball caps holding a bottle of beer and watching a football game. That was pretty familiar to him. In the kitchen he saw an older woman fussing over a ham she was currently basting in the oven. She was humming to herself softly and Castiel smiled at the purity of the sight.

The kitchen was decorated in warm tones of reds and yellows and there was a child's painting of a rooster on the wall. The breakfast nook held a small round table that had salt and pepper shakers that looked liked Santa and Mrs. Claus. The temperature was a little bit warm from the oven's hard work through out the day and Castiel shrugged his coat off and folded it over his arm.

There was a crash from a room off the right side of the kitchen and Castiel jumped slightly.

"I'm alright...everything...everything is good." A man's voiced called into the kitchen. There was an echo in is words that made Cas think he was in the garage. The voice itself was husky and deep, although it didn't compare to the deep cavernous tone that Castiel felt he was cursed with. He vaguely heard an exchange between Bobby and Sam but was more concentrated on finding the source of the voice he just heard.

"My God- that boy manages to break something every time he comes here." Ellen said with a smile on her face as she closed the oven door.

He brought his attention back to Bobby who was staring at him, apparently waiting for Cas to say something. He looked to Sam who was also looking at him expectantly.

"Oh- I'm sorry-" Cas started.

"It's okay babe," Sam placed a hand on his arm. "I was just introducing you to my sort of Uncle Bobby."

Castiel plastered his family smile on his face and reached out a hand. "I'm sorry, Its really nice to meet you. I've heard so much about you. I'm Castiel."

Bobby took Cas' hand and shook it roughly for a moment before letting go and nodding. "Yeah, I heard a good bit about you too. Hopefully Sam here was as nice to me as he was to you."

Cas laughed, the sound coming out more strained than he would have liked. "I assure you, he had only good things to say."

"Well right back at you." Bobby began walking towards the living room where a crowd of people were huddled around a small television. "Beer?"

"Uh- yes, thank you." Cas said quietly. He wasn't technically of age yet, but Sam had explained to him that their family didn't really put much emphasis on adhering to what Bobby liked to call 'arbitrary no good government trying to take over our lives' laws. Bobby was a strong believer that 'if you were old enough to die for your country then you were old enough to have a goddamn beer'. Castiel respected the hell out of that.

"Hey Dean! While you're out there grab Sammy and his fella a beer!" Bobby yelled out to the garage before turning back to the living room.

Cas looked over to Sam who was smiling widely and looking down at him.

"What?" Castiel asked quietly.

"I'm just really glad you're here." He said before dipping down and kissing his cheek.

Cas leaned his face into Sam's lips. "Me too."

And he was. Not just because it meant he didn't have to see his own family this Christmas, but also because this was just another step towards his perfect life with Sam. His family was already far superior to his own and he could tell he could be happy there. Bobby and Ellen shared the same warmth that radiated so effortlessly off of Sam and Castiel just wanted to bathe in it. He could feel the love in this house and it made him eager to make a home for himself.

"Sorry Ellen, the damn dog jumped on me and i dropped a few beers." The voice from earlier rang behind Castiel and he turned to find its source.

"You know where the broom is Dean." Ellen said hotly.

Sam had told Castiel about Dean plenty of times before. He had even seen him in a few pictures, but seeing him in person was something different. Coming from the same bloodline as Sam, Dean was of course ridiculously good looking. He wasn't as tall or as broad shouldered as his younger brother, but his body was just as perfectly sculpted. His hair was lighter than Sam's and cut shorter, but long enough to run your hands through. He couldn't tell what color his eyes were from across the room but immediately appreciated the small crinkles that formed around them when he smiled at Ellen. There was magnetism about him that kept Castiel staring, hoping to make eye contact and praying not to simultaneously.

Dean turned back around and went back to what Castiel assumed was the garage. He found himself staring blankly in that direction for another moment before bringing himself back.

"You must be Castiel!" Ellen was walking towards him, wiping her hands on a dish towel that she threw to the counter before standing in front of him. She brought her arms up and pulled Cas into a hug that he was entirely unprepared for. Hugging wasn't something Cas really did. At all. It was ironic because Gabriel had complained about Cas' inability to respect personal space when they were growing up, but hugging was never something Cas came to easily. Through a lot of self- monitoring he was eventually able to naturally keep a respectable distance when he was having a conversation with someone, but hugging someone he wasn't sleeping with, he never did warm up to.

Ellen had his upper arms pinned, so he moved his hands up to her back as much as he could manage. Cas was sure the hug looked awkward as hell but when Ellen pulled back her smile was wide and bright.

"I'm so glad you could make it. Our Sammy has just gone on and on about you." She turned around then and pulled Sam down to kiss his cheek. Sam smiled adoringly down at her.

"Alright, Alright. Mess is cleaned up and I'm bearing gifts." Dean sauntered into the kitchen from the garage with a smirk on his face. " Hi-ya Sammy." His eyes roamed over his brother for a moment. "You get shorter?" He placed a case of beer on the ground.

"Jerk." Sam rolled his eyes at his brother's wide grin and moved past Castiel to hug his brother.

"Ah now, Don't go saying nasty things about me when we've got company." Dean said, his gaze turning to Cas over Sam's shoulder.

When their eyes met, Cas felt something inside of him shift- like a missing beat of his heart suddenly began pumping in rhythm. He pushed away the feeling and strode forward as casually as he could manage with his hand outstretched.

"Hello, Dean."

Dean's eyes, which Cas was now close enough to recognize as green, were positively sparkling. as they took in Cas' presence. Dean blinked forcibly a couple times when he met Cas' crystal blues, as if his eyes needed to adjust to a bright light. A bewildered expression graced his features for a split second before Dean slipped an easy smile to his lips.

"Hey, Cas." Dean stepped around his brother and brought his hand up to meet Cas'. "Sammy just wont shut up about you."

Cas let out a shaky laugh, "Yes, I could same thing about you."

Dean's hand was warm in Castiel's, a lit flame that shot up his arm and made his chest flutter in its flames. His skin was rough, and his grip on Castiel's hand was firm, but there was something incredibly gentle about the handshake. It was comforting even. Their eyes locked and Castiel wasn't sure how long they looked at each other before he dropped Dean's hand. A panicked smile pulled the corners of Castiel's lips up, he feared he had held the greeting for too long.

Dean didn't seem to notice though.

"Well then, either we're awesome or Sam is batshit." Dean joked and Castiel's smile relaxed. They held each other's gaze for a long moment before Sam came to Cas' side and slung his arm around him. Cas broke away from Dean's stare to look up to his boyfriend. He smiled sweetly up at him.

"You'll have to excuse my brother, he can be an ass." Sam's amused expression betrayed his feigned annoyance.

Dean brought his eyes up to meet his brother's and let his carefree smile fall into a dramatic frown. "Alright. I see how this Christmas is going to go." He nodded slightly, sniffing and thumbing the side of his nose. "We'll see Sammy."

Castiel couldn't help but laugh at the fake threat Dean threw at his brother.

"Dean, where are those beers boy?" Bobby shouted from the living room.

Dean rolled his eyes and brought his attention to the room full of football fans. "I got a little distracted." His eyes wandered over Castiel's face for a moment before smiling shyly and ducking his head down. He brought his hand up to his neck as he walked over to the group with the case. "I'm comin', keep your seat."

Cas watched Dean start handing out beers, trying not to notice the way his jeans fit perfectly around the lower half of his body. Dean smiled brightly as he popped the tops for everyone, throwing a joke or two at the recipients. Cas shook his head slightly and looked up at Sam.

"Your brother is..." Cas began, unsure of how to finish that sentence as soon as he had started.

"A dumbass?" Sam smirked.

"I was going to say humorous." Castiel clarified with a grin. "Less dumb, less ass."

Sam laughed and pulled Castiel close to him, bringing his lips to his forehead.

"Come on- come meet the rest of the group."

They walked towards the large living room that had two couches angled around the television and a bunch of folding chairs scattered around them. Castiel was immediately astounded by how comfortable everyone seemed. They were talking easily, no yelling or threats of arm wrestling tournaments over Grandma's place settings.

"Everyone this is Castiel, my boyfriend." Sam announced as they crossed the threshold into the living room.

Cas was greeted with friendly smiles across the room and a smattering of hello's.

Sam walked towards the guy sitting closest to them on the left. "This here is Garth- he is a friend from high school and Bobby's actual nephew." Garth waved a hand and gave Cas a wide smile that almost made Castiel chuckle. His face was so gaunt that the spread of his lips in his smile covered about half of his face.

"Next to him is Jo, that's Bobby and Ellen's daughter." Jo craned her head around Sam to see the TV, sparing Cas a glance and a smile before turning her attention back to the game. She was pretty, sandy blonde hair that fell around her shoulders and a face that Cas felt ran a fine line between angelic and sultry.

"Oh come on!" Jo yelled into the screen. "What a shit call."

Sam raised his eyebrows and continued to walk around the room. "Anyway- this is Victor, Bobby's older brother." The way Sam said his name made Cas believe Victor wasn't really one of Sam's favorite people and the hard stare Victor gave him all but confirmed that. Cas smiled politely at the bald and harsh looking man before following Sam to the next person.

"Kevin here grew up in the apartment across from ours when we were growing up. He is like a little brother to me and Dean...but Don't believe anything he tells you." Sam said as he pointed to a short asian guy sitting with his legs crossed on the second couch. Kevin rolled his eyes and waved before bringing his attention back to the laptop he was currently typing on. "Kevin's a writer too, although he does mostly non-fiction stuff."

Castiel's face brightened and gave Kevin a genuine smile. It would be nice to have someone to talk to about his passion. There weren't a lot of people that he could relate to on that level and seeing as how Kevin was currently writing furiously on his laptop, Cas was pretty sure they would have a good bit to talk about.

"Saving the best for last Sammy?" A cheerful red-headed girl stood up and wrapped her arms around Castiel. "I'm Charlie. I'm awesome, and I'm pretty sure we will be best friends."

"Careful Charlie- the man's taken and I'm pretty sure he don't got your required equipment." Cas almost jumped at Dean's voice behind him and when Charlie let him go, Cas stepped back right into him.

"Oh- Sorry." Cas said as he moved away, the brick wall of Dean's chest like a gust of fire on Castiel's back. He could feel his face flushing slightly as he brought his hand to Sam's and intertwined their fingers.

"S' alright." Dean said with an easy smile and handed him a beer.

"Thank you." Castiel said quietly as he took it.

"Charlie here works with me down at The Bunker." Dean said as he popped the top off of their beers. "Taught her everything I know."

"What did you do with all of that free time then?" Sam teased as he took a sip of his beer.

"Ha." Dean grimaced at his brother. He shoved the bottle opener into his front pocket. "I'll have you know, this one couldn't mix a rum and coke when i got her. Now, the girl can make an old fashioned that rivals mine."

Castiel furrowed his brow slightly. Dean brought his eyes to his and watched in bemusement as Cas tilted his head slightly. "I'm sorry- The Bunker?"

"that's where we work." Charlie piped in. "Its a bar in Arlington."

"Oh, right. Actually, now that I think of it- that sounds familiar. My family is from that area. Its not too far from here right?" Castiel questioned, his gaze focused on Charlie.

"Yeah, only about an hours drive." She answered.

"Yeah Bobby and Ellen moved to Berryville when we were kids." Dean explained. "They wanted me and Sammy to come with em', but the schools out here are shit and there was no way Sam was getting into W&M without a better education."

Sam sighed and lowered his head slightly. Castiel knew this already. Sam and Dean's parents died when they were both in elementary school. They stayed with Bobby and Ellen until Dean was fifteen and Sam was twelve. Bobby and Ellen wanted to move out to the country and away from the city's increasing crime rates but Dean had insisted on staying in the better school district. He could barely afford the one bedroom on the salary he was getting at the car shop though, even with the money Bobby was able to send him. He worked as a mechanic after school and on weekends before finally dropping out and getting his GED so that he could work full-time. Dean's father had taught him a good bit as a kid, and then after he died Bobby had taken it upon himself to teach Dean everything there was to learn about cars.

Then on Dean's sixteenth birthday, Bobby rolled up to their shack of an apartment in Dean's father's 67' Chevy Impala, fully restored. Castiel remembered smiling as Sam described the way Dean's draw dropped and tears formed behind his eyes when he saw the car he would then dub 'Baby.' Bobby had told Dean they had sold the car out of necessity when times got hard, but he had in fact been working tirelessly to keep it in running condition until Dean was old enough to have it.

"Alright over there- Don't go knocking my kid's schoolin." Bobby chastised from a chair in the corner.

Dean held up his hands in surrender. "I'm just saying."

Sam shook his head and took another sip of his beer. He knew how much his brother had sacrificed for him. He was so grateful for everything that Dean had done to get him to where he is, sometimes Castiel wondered if there was a single thing Dean could do that would make Sam turn his back on him.

"Well I think it's very noble of you to take responsibility of Sam, Dean." Castiel said smoothly.

Dean felt his cheeks get hot and took a quick sip of his beer. "Oh- yeah, well uh. You know, its no big deal."

Castiel could tell how flustered Dean was at the compliment and found it endearing. He felt happy knowing Sam wasn't exaggerating about his big brother.

"Hey Dean." Jo called from the couch, standing up to mark the beginning of half time. "How's Lisa doing?"

Dean shot her a look and then evened out his expression and shrugged. "I Don't know, you'd have to ask her boyfriend."

"Ooo. Sorry man." Jo said with a pat on Dean's shoulder. "That's rough."

"She cheat on you?" Sam asked, concern in his voice.

"Nah- just didn't work out. Met another guy a week later." Castiel watched as Dean blinked a few times and shuffled his feet, his eyes finding the floor. He could tell Dean was uncomfortable talking about this.

"Her loss." Castiel found himself saying before the words had time to register in his mind. His face flustered for a moment but tried to even it out as quickly as possible.

Dean's eyes shot up at Castiel, surprise lighting his features. Cas held Dean's gaze for what felt like a much longer moment than was necessary.

Dean cocked his head slightly and brought his hand up to the back of his neck, his eyes moving to Sam and Castiel's interwoven hands and then back up to Cas. "I think that's up for debate man."

Sam let out a laugh and squeezed Cas' hand. "Its well known around here that Dean cant take a compliment. Its actually pretty funny to say something nice to him and see him get all flustered and then insult you."

Cas smiled into the opening of his beer, his lips curling around the bottle in an amused smirk. Watching Sam and Dean together made him miss his own siblings. Despite their shortcomings, he did love them.

Dean's hand jutted out quickly and smacked Sam playfully in the face. "Watch it Sammy. You may have filled out a bit since I was carting your ass to playgroup, but i can still take you."

Sam chuckled again, bringing the hand that held his beer up in submission. "Yeah, sure Dean."

"Alright y'all, dinner's on the table." Ellen called from the kitchen. "Garth go get that bottle of wine you brought, we'll put it on the table."

Sam looked down at Cas and raised his brow's slightly. "No matter what, you tell her you love it."

Castiel smirked and nodded. "Got it."

Dean leaned in then, his face coming dangerously close to breaking that personal space bubble Castiel had honed so perfectly.

"He's serious Cas, Ellen has killed men for less." His smile was sinfully playful and Cas could feel his heart rate climb at his proximity. With him so close, Castiel could now see the light freckles were decorated across Dean's nose and across his cheeks. His breath hitched slightly at the sight.

Castiel managed a polite smile though, and held his place, even though his instinct was to duck his head and step back from the older Winchester.

Dean's face transformed slightly before pulling back and gave Sam a quick glance. His expression was unreadable. He took a step back and turned away towards the kitchen, taking a long sip from his beer as he walked away.

Castiel began to follow when Sam pulled his hand back. "How are you doing?"

Cas shrugged. "Fine, surprisingly. Your family is...well, you're a very lucky man Sam."

Sam beamed down at him, glancing up at the crowd gathering in the kitchen for a moment before turning his attention back down to his boyfriend. He leaned down and kissed him chastely.

"Yes, I definitely am."

December 28th, 2008

Christmas was everything i knew it could be. It was like watching one of those movies Gabe insists are classics. Sam and his family were lovely, far better than my own. that's for sure.

Bobby and Ellen had the kind of relationship i long for, playful bickering over domestic life and the comfort of being loved unconditionally. I see the way Sam looks at them and i think he wants that too.

To live that life, to be happy with a family of my own, its all i've ever wanted.

It should be strange to think about living that life with Sam when we haven't been together for much more than a year. But its not. Its not strange at all- it seems simple even. We love each other. We want the same things. Being only 20, it could seem like i'm rushing it but when you find the right person...why wait?

Sam is applying to GW law school. After i graduate, we talked about me moving into the city to be with him. If he doesn't get into GW, i Don't know what we'll do. Sam wants to be close to his brother, so i'm hoping it works out.

Meeting Dean was interesting. He's not what i expected, and yet I Don't know what i should have anticipated. Sam had told me so much about him, i shouldn't be so thrown...but i am. There's just something about him...Its interesting.

He didn't confine himself to the social norms Gabe had instilled in me. Through the whole weekend he would stand incredibly close to me at times. It became so common that I was worried it was I who was initiating it. When I was washing dishes in the morning, Dean stood right next to me to dry them. I mean right next to me. His arm brushed mine repeatedly as i scrubbed plates clean and he dried them with a dish towel. I didn't think it would be good to ask him to step away, i figured it would draw more attention to the moment than was necessary. Maybe he has always been someone who stands too close. I would be the same way if Gabriel hadn't taught be differently.

But Dean would also look at me. I Don't just mean put his eyes on me, I mean that he would really look at me. I found myself unable to tear away from his gaze a lot of the time and that makes me...i Don't know how i feel about it. He is Sam's brother so i want to have a good relationship with him, but i need to be careful here. He is extremely attractive and with my past experiences... i Don't want to develop and attraction to him. That would be extremely inconvenient.

I cant imagine the reason he was looking at me so much was because he finds me attractive. Not that someone finding me good looking would be unusual, but he is Sam's brother. I have a strong feeling that the last thing Dean would want is to think of is brother's boyfriend that way. He wouldn't want to hurt Sam. Besides, although Sam has never said so explicitly- i think Dean is a heterosexual. I have only ever heard girlfriends mentioned.

But still...i wonder...why was he looking at me so much?