A/N: You know the drill, Bioware owns everything, i own nothing...excuse me while i cry in my corner over it...

Alistair felt like such an idiot, he should have realized who she was sooner.

She had been a ghost, drifting through his thoughts for years. Her face had been a small source of comfort when he had felt lonely, lost, and unwanted.
Then again, those thoughts had been of a small girl, one with a quick smile and the gift of worming her way into people's hearts. A girl with long dark hair, bits of straw tangled through it.

But when this Elissa had turned to look at him, he saw only a tired, travel worn, if not beautiful, woman.

His automatic reaction to beautiful women was nervousness. Women, were a complete mystery to him. He really didn't know how to handle them in general. Unless they were the reverend mother shaking her finger at him and scolding him for something he had done to anger her.

As soon as she started asking him where he was from his heart had started to beat erratically. His hands began to shake as he thought to himself.
'Am I dreaming…? Maker..? Is it really her..?'

It wasn't her.

She wasn't here.

Then she pulled out a rose bud encased in glass, and he knew. He let out a breath that he didn't know he was holding and moved closer to her. He desperately needed to see her face, She gently held the rose, clasped in her hands, while her head was bent over it. He needed to see her eyes. To look into them. To see if by some miracle the little girl he remembered as a boy had grown into this poised woman standing in front of him.

He cupped her cheek, lifting it to see a single tear trail down her face.

"Elissa..?" Her name fell from his lips as he ran a thumb across her cheek, "is it really you?"

At that moment something inside him, he didn't realize was missing clicked into place. A warmth spread through him, like an old wound, suddenly began to heal.

Elissa lost control of herself at that point. Everything she had been holding inside her poured out.
She had lost everything, she didn't even know if her brother still lived, but here was something she had never thought of getting back. Someone she thought to never see again. Tears came more quickly and she reached out to cling to the front of Alistair's armor, as if to anchor herself to him.

"Alistair... A-Alistair.." She said through choking sobs.

"Elissa," He said, reaching up to stroke her hair. "It's alright, calm yourself. You're safe."

At that Elissa's sobbing grew and she pulled herself even closer to rest her head against the hands that clung to the front of his chest plate. She started to feel her legs wobble as her emotions began to overwhelm her. She felt Alistair wrap an arm around her waist to secure her to him, his other hand still running through her hair as he crooned words of comfort. The heavy feeling in her chest from everything she had been holding so tightly to eased away. As she clung to him, she began to feel a bit of the hole in her heart, close just a small amount.

Alistair had absolutely no idea what he was doing. He had not thought to see Elissa again and her reaction to him was certainly not what he had been expecting. His mind was wracking itself to try to figure out how to comfort this woman who was now in hysterics before him. The decision was made for him when he had reached up to touch her hair in comfort and suddenly had her pressing herself into him. He started to tell her that it was okay, anything to make her tears stop.

He felt so lost on what to do when he felt her start to shake. Fear began to set in that she may very well fall, so he wound his free arm around her to keep that from happening. If the person he was holding weren't in such distress, he might have considered how good it felt to have her so near, but as it was his mind was too preoccupied with calming Elissa.

After a while he felt Elissa's shaking slow and her sobs turned into quiet sniffles. He pulled away slightly as she lifted her head, rubbing the remaining tears from her eyes.

"I'm sorry about that, I thought I had a better handle on myself." She was slightly pink from her harsh sobs earlier, eyes puffy from the crying, and there was a lone tear dangling off the end of her nose.

Alistair lifted a hand to gently wipe the tear away, offering her a reassuring smile. "It's quite alright, I'm used to women bursting into tears when they look upon my face."

Elissa chuckled weakly and looked back up at him. "I can't believe it's really you, that you're here. You're even a Grey Warden!" she said disbelief coloring her voice.

Alistair ran a hand through his hair. "Yes, I suppose it does seem like a long way from the kennels at Redcliff isn't it?"

Elissa's eyes roamed over his face as she said, "Yes, it is. I almost didn't even recognize you without all the dirt and hay."

Alistair couldn't help the laugh that came from him at that. "Well, I can't quite wrap my head around the fact that you're here either. It seems like a dream, you know, except for the darkspawn and approaching battle."

Elissa shrugged her shoulders and grinned up at him. "Not quite the dream I'm used to but I understand what you mean."

Alistair sighed, then furrowed his brow. "You said Duncan sent you to find me?"

Her eyebrows shot up as if the clouds had just cleared from her thoughts. "Oh, yes, we are supposed to find the other recruits and report back to Duncan. We should probably get moving."

Alistair started walking down the ramp and called to her over his shoulder. "Then let us find the other two and get this underway. The darkspawn are waiting!"

As Alistair heard Elissa followed him down the ramp, his thoughts started racing through his mind. She was going to have to go through the joining. What would he do if she didn't survive? He had just found her and the thought of losing her again...He shouldn't think that way…No, no she would be fine. Maker willing he wasn't going to lose anyone he cared about anytime soon.

After gathering Daveth, Elissa and Alistair searched the camp for Ser Jory. They finally found him with a few other soldiers praying at a statue of Andraste.

As soon as he saw her Ser Jory bowed down to one knee in front of her.

"My lady Cousland, I had not thought to see you here. I was in Red Cliff but I come from Highever. It is an honor to meet you like this."

Elissa nodded her head thanking him for his kind words. being used to dealing with such things. Falling back on her upbringing to answer him with a dignified voice, even though his words caused a pang in her heart, reminding her of her old life.

"But sir I am here as a Grey Warden recruit which makes me just like you. That makes us equals now. Please, just call me Elissa."

"Yes my la… Yes of course… E-Elissa." Replied Ser Jory with stumbling speech.

He stood and followed them to the fire where Duncan was waiting to give them their assignment. As they neared Summer he, rose to his feet to bound over to Elissa stopping to nuzzling into her waiting hand.

"Seems like you finally got that Mabari you talked about."

Alistair came up behind her, startling her, she hadn't realized how close he was. He moved remarkably quietly for someone in such heavy armor.

"Yes," she said, scratching behind Summer's ears. "Summer here is like my little shadow... well, I say little..." Summer looked up whining at her tilting his massive head to the side. "Sorry boy, you'll always be my... pup..."

Elissa's heart thudded in her chest, her eyes started burning as she choked back unshead tears while speaking those last few words. at the word that tumbled from her mouth so easily. She closed her eyes as the memories overwhelmed her.

Her father, on the larder floor covered in blood. Her mother cradling him a look of finality in her eyes as she watched her only daughter being dragged away by Duncan. Elissa screaming-

Elissa's body shuddered and she shook her head trying to shake off the memories. She looked back at Alistair who was gazing at her with concern etched on his face.

"Are you alright?" His voice was full of apprehension and unanswered questions.

"Yes, I'm fine," Elissa took a deep breath and squared her shoulders, " no point in keeping Duncan waiting anymore. Let's go."

Curse these wilds.

The Kocari Swamp seemed like a better name. There was mud everywhere, Elissa's boots were coated in grime. They kept getting sucked into the muck, ending in her legs burning from the effort of pulling them out. They had finally gotten to firmer ground when they heard the sound of howls coming from not far away.

Wolves. Perfect.

Alistair and Jory both prepared their swords as Daveth pulled an arrow from his quiver. Elissa pulled her daggers from their sheaths on her back and twirled them between her fingers. She could feel the anticipation as she heard the beasts skittering closer.

After a moment one burst from a row of bushes to their right, leaping towards Elissa. Alistair quickly stepped in front of her lifting his shield to halt the animal midair, knocking it back, grunting with the weight if the impact on his shield. As the wolf hit the ground two more came running up from different directions. One on the left and one behind. They were being flanked.

Jory hurried forward to swing at the one that Alistair had been knocked to the ground. While Alistair moved to stay in front of Elissa. Daveth was shot arrow after arrow at the wolf that had come up behind them keeping it from charging at them.

Alistair held his shield up, sword at the ready, waiting for the third wolf to make its move toward them, not letting Elissa out from behind him. Which Elissa found more than annoying. She needed this fight, as a way to get out some of these frustrations that were wound inside her.

Elissa side stepped around Alistair and rolled along the ground to pop up to the left of the wolf, it began to snap at her as she pulled out a flask from her hip. She quickly looked to her side back at Alistair who had started to move towards them both after he saw her jump forward.

"Stay back!" She yelled at him, stopping him in his tracks. She wasn't some helpless damsel who needed saving.

She faced the wolf who was resting back on its haunches. She tossed the vial at it as she jumped back rolling towards Alistair. A small explosion of acid mist burst under the animal where the vial had fallen. The wolf twisted back and forth letting out howls of pain. Elissa hit Alistair's shoulder with her fist to get his attention.

"Wait for the cloud to clear, then finish it off."

Her eyes scanned the battlefield before she turned and ran to help Daveth who was being stalked by a wolf of his own. With a flick of her wrist Elissa sent one of her daggers from her hand twirling through the air where it landed between the wolf's eyes, it dropped to the ground immediately.
She then turned to Jory, who was holding up his sword as the wolf lunged at him snapping its jaws at him. But she noticed that one of its legs was wounded from an earlier attack.

Elissa ran to get behind a wolf while it was preoccupied with Jory. She jumped on on its back straddling the beast. Before it could turn and close its jaws on her arm Elissa had buried her remaining dagger in its throat. Blood coated her arm with a warm spray. She withdrew her dagger and jumped back.
Once Alistair had taken down his wolf with a great stroke of his sword the three men turned to look at Elissa huffing from the battle.

"What?" She said, giving a wide smile.

Walking over to the wolf near Daveth, she reached down to pull her dagger out of its skull.

"Didn't you all have fun?" She turned back to them pulling out a cloth, cleaning the blood off both daggers.

"Fun... right.." Daveth put his bow back onto his back. "Not the kind of fun I'm used to with such a lovely lady."

Elissa stood as she was cleaning her daggers, she looked at the three men standing dumbfounded in front of her.

"Well then you've been hanging around with the wrong kind of ladies."

Alistair couldn't lie, he knew Duncan didn't recruit weak warriors. But he didn't expect Elissa to be so...proficient. It wasn't as if the idea of women fighters bothers him, in fact, he found strong women rather appealing. Some part of him still saw the young tomboy wielding a stick. Not the fierce woman he had seen dancing about the fight, daggers gleaming with blood. Confidence seemed to ooze out of her, the kind of confidence that made people natural leaders. A small part of him envied her for that. A very, very small part.

They trekked further into the wilds and (the wind shifted and a sickly odor drifted around them) started to smell something getting closer. It was foul, and sadly a smell Alistair knew well. It was the smell of dead darkspawn. He couldn't sense very many too close, but still he put a hand on his sword readying himself for any eventuality.

As they drew closer to the source of the smell, a sound broke through the background noises of the forest.

"H-help.." a wet coughing followed the weak cry. "Is...is anyone out there?"

They picked up their pace and quickly came to find a wounded man lying on the ground, looking as if he were trying to crawl in their direction. Alistair walked forward to get a better look at the man's wounds. Noticing just a few darkspawn corpses lying not far off.

"Who are you, soldier? Are there any others left?" Alistair asked gently.

He pulled his water skin from his side lifting it to the man's lips. The man took a couple small drinks before coughing again. Clearing his throat before he could speak.

"We..we were scouting the wilds when the 'spawn attacked, they just popped out of the ground! They killed so many of the men... must have thought I was dead too."

Alistair started to reach for the bandages in his pack when he felt someone else kneel down beside him. It was Elissa with bandages already in hand, a hard look on her face.

"I'm sorry, we must turn you over to tend to your wounds properly." She gently turned him so he was on his back with his head in her lap. The man winced and gasped a few times in pain, but didn't fuss as they tended to him. After a bit Elissa spoke in what sounded to Alistair like a controlled voice, holding back some emotion he couldn't place.

"Who was leading your party soldier?"

The man looked up at her without seeing her."Fergus Cousland miss, but I lost track of him in the fight... there were just so many..."

Elissa laid a hand on his head shushing him."It's alright soldier, you're safe now."

The look in Elissa's eyes, though, was a thousand miles away, somewhere Alistair didn't think he could reach. It frightened him to see the empty look that settled on her face.

As they walked through the Wilds Elissa was silent. Wordlessly walking behind Alistair her eyes forward. Alistair didn't know what to say to her, her brother might be lost, killed by the darkspawn. Alistair might not have known her brother, but he knew how close the Couslands had seemed from the short time he had watched them all together. They were what he had always thought a family should be. Kind, and open. Possibly losing her brother must be killing her.

She still cut through the darkspawn they encountered like they were nothing but she was cold through the whole thing. She had lost the fire he had seen in the fight with the slowed to a stop near a couple of fallen trees.

"I think we could use a bit of a rest before we make the last push to the tower," He said as he rested his pack on the ground and sat on a log. "So sit and get some water."

Jory and Daveth nodded their agreement as they both went off in different directions. One to go to the stream to fill his water skin, the other to take care of some personal business behind a tree.

He watched as Elissa sat down on the ground, her back leaning against the log. She looked at her hands, strands of her hair were escaping her braid and falling forward to conceal part of her face. She looked so lost Alistair thought. He should say something he reasoned. Anything really.

"I'm sure he's safe somewhere Elissa." He watched her fingers twitch as he spoke. "Who knows, he might have found some chasind for all we know and could be laying low with them till he can get back to camp." The theory wasn't impossible but Alistair knew how unlikely it was.

"No, he's not." She said it so quietly Alistair hadn't been sure she spoke at first. "He's dead." Her voice was empty, detached in a way the made Alistair's blood run cold. "He's dead like they all are. They get to be together again, leaving me here alone. What have done to have the Maker despise me so? I'm not sure what but there's no other explanation..."

Alistair was confused. "Who else was dead? What was she talking about?" Trying to understand Alistair began to ask, "Elissa, what-"

"What other reason would there be to kill my entire family? Making me watch as my the whole house was slaughtered by our friends... like they were nothing..."

Alistair was sick to his stomach as her words sunk in. as he watched her start to shake. With her next words Elissa began shaking, weather in rage or grief Alistair couldn't tell. "Even Oren... killing him like some animal. He wasn't an animal, he was just a child!" Her voice had started to shake too, her breath started to come in gasps. Alistair saw drops of tears fall down the side of her cheek. He lowered himself off the log and pulled her to his chest. He wrapped his arms around her and held her tightly, as if he could keep her together. Trying to shelter her from the memories that were clouding her mind.

"Elissa, I'm sorry. The Maker doesn't hate you. How could he hate you?" He drew her closer, resting his chin on her head. "What you're speaking of was done by evil men, men who will pay. It was not your fault."

Her shaking had not stopped. "But now I'm alone." She whispered in a frightened little voice. " My family is gone."

"No, it isn't." Alistair said quietly. "You can start a new family here with the Grey Wardens."

Alistair pulled her head back to look at her face. He saw tears were streaming down her face.
"I'm your family remember?" He said running a hand along the side of her face, repeating the words she had said to him so long ago. "You'll never be alone as long as I'm here."

Her bottom lip trembled. "Please," her voice came softly. "Please don't leave me."

Looking down at her he smiled at her and promised. "Wouldn't dream of it."

"Whoa," Came a voice nearby. "Should I have stayed away longer?" Daveth came sauntering into the clearing, a smirk on his face.

The pair quickly moved apart, Elissa turned to wipe her tears away, her face heating up. Alistair got up to grab his pack as Jory came walking back.

"Let's just get a move on to this tower shall we?" He was more than a bit sure his face was a lovely shade of pink at this point.

As they started walking forward, he felt a fist knock into his shoulder. Elissa walked next to him looking anywhere except him, a small smile on her face.

"Thank you."

Alistair grinned at her. "No thanks needed my fair lady. I do take presents in the form of cheese though."

A scoff came from her as a more genuine smile crept across her face.

"I'll have to keep that in mind."

AN: I know I promised I would update again last weekend, but life you know. So I apologize for that.

I just wanted to take the time to say how much I love you all! Seriously, you are the best!

Special thanks to my Beta for dealing with all my crazy messages at all hours of the day. You, Lady, are amazing!

I'm just wondering what's everyone's favorite Alistair moment?

Mine is the rose scene. (Unoriginal, I know) when I first played the game I knew nothing about it so I didn't know romance was a thing. I liked having conversations with Alistair though, then when I went to talk to him the rose scene triggered and I was so confused. But man after that I pretty much just fell head over heels in love with the character.

He is definitely my favorite Dragon age character... Next to Fenris... and Cullen... and Flemeth... anyway...Thank you all for reading this!