Chapter 4: Lord Garret's Pathetic Proposal

"Here, princess."

I looked at the hanky Hans was handing me and hesitated. Who knows where that had been, and considering I was about to put it on my mouth...I grabbed it and wiped my mouth, still coughing and gagging. Lord Garret had retreated to get cleaned up. Miraculously I had not been touched by my own display. I drank the water Hans handed me and tried to keep my whirling head under control. I was so dizzy I nearly fainted.

My reaction to seeing Lord Garret had actually amused several of his men. I think they shared my opinion of him being a stupid coward. How I hated that man!

"Your tent is here, princess," said Hans, indicating a simple looking tent in the dark. It was a servant's tent of all things! I was not going to sleep on the hard ground in a servant's tent! I looked around and spotted a large purple tent that surely had a cot of some sort in it. I pointed to it and asked, "Whose is that?"

"Lord Garret's, your highness."

I could've guessed that even in my dizzy state of mind. I glowered at him and said loudly, "Does the Lord Garret expect the princess he is trying to impress to sleep on the floor of a measly tent while he has a grand tent to himself?"

Hans thought about this then said slowly, "I suppose he does."

I would have screamed at him if I could. Instead I just sent him a vicious glare. Thankfully Lord Garret wasn't fool enough to ignore such an obvious hint. He came out, well dressed and completely forgetting the incident that had happened moments ago, said gallantly, "Of course not! My servant forgot that this tent is for you, and that tent is for him. Please, enter, darling Ruthia."

"Oh, please don't use such cheesy phrases I'll get sick again," I snapped at him. "Just keep your month shut, and I'll keep my guts to myself."

He shut up and I entered the tent and pulled the strings shut, wishing there was a lock. They had better not bother me. I was so tired I was ready to fall over. Lord Garret had more than just a cot, as I expected. It was a large fancy feather bed. I blew out the candle and crawled in, trying desperately to forget the terrible ordeal I had just gone through.

"Should we wake her?"

I opened my eyes. It was late in the morning and I was not in my room.

"The master said so, so I suppose we should."

Master? I suddenly remembered where I was and groaned. Kidnapped!

"But she...she's still asleep and I don't think we should go in."

That was Hans' voice.

"Heck, we've got to wake her up," growled his companion, the idiot who carried me from the palace to who knows where. I wasn't about to leave the comfortable bed and go out there in my nightgown but I couldn't have them coming in. I was so tired! Before I did anything Hans whispered a little loudly, "Princess! Princess...are you alive?"

I saw the string to the door being played with and I immediately felt wide awake and very angry. I grabbed the first thing that I could lay my hands on and threw it at the entrance and yelled, "Don't you dare come in, you filthy knave!"

There was a muffled yelp and some cursing. The thing fell to the ground, shattering. It was some sort of bottle with a clear liquid inside. It smelt strange. I hated it. I jumped out of bed and threw a rug over it, quenching the smell. There were a lot of rugs lying around the tent, and a couch with fluffy pillows and a table. It didn't look that bad, actually.

A chest was under the table and I pulled it out. It was full of clothes. At first I thought it was Lord Garret's clothes, but then I realized they were dresses. He must be really trying to impress me. Well, just as long as I wasn't too uncomfortable or indecent. I shuffled through the dresses and shook my head, disgusted. Good heavens even my nightgown was more modest than those things! Men obviously didn't know how to shop.

At the bottom I found a decent peasant style dress with a dark green color. I put it on and peeked out of the tent. It was surrounded by guards. I shuddered. There was no chance of escape. I thought about staying in there forever and throwing things at all who tried to enter, but then I smelled some bacon and eggs, and knew I couldn't resist.

I marched out into the warm morning air and glared at Hans who approached me tentatively. "Where's that dishonorable pig-headed master of yours?" I snapped.

"Over at the fire, your highness," said Hans quickly while his comrade glared at me and him, muttering something about him being honorable and rich.

I decided Hans was a decent pig. A pig, but still rather decent. He knew a fellow pig when he saw one and his master Garret was definitely one. I continued onto the fire and stood, warming my hands. A pan was frying some eggs mixed with bacon, but I didn't look at it. Instead I sent a glare to Lord Garret who was mashing food into his face and barked, "How dare you sit in my presence, cur!"

He jerked his head up and stared at me, before scrambling up to attention. "Princess Ruthia I didn't notice you."

"Either that or you were purposefully being rude," I retorted. I sat down on the log. It was so rough! "First you offer a paltry tent, then you send your filthy men to wake me up, and now you won't even feed me. Ugh! You are a horrible suitor and kidnapper!"

Lord Garret flushed bright red to my satisfaction and he ordered Hans to serve me. Hans did it eagerly, and I was tempted to smile at him, but instead I didn't even glance at him. He was stupid.

"You must forgive my rude kidnapping," said Lord Garret apologetically.

"I don't have to," I muttered. The bacon was good, I had to admit.

"I do beg your pardon, though," insisted Lord Garret. "But I was so desperate you see. I love you so much I have become nigh crazy for you and have therefore gone to the extreme to get you. You must...Please take this as a compliment, my dear lady."

"Why did you just take Castle Perilous? I will only marry the one who takes it." I pointed out.

"I did," he stated.

I gaped at him. "What?!"

He smiled; glad to have caught my immediate attention. "I fought the dragon, dear maid. He was sight to behold, with glittering scales and sharp ferocious teeth and bloodshot eyes. But I fought him and won! Yes, my love, I beat him, after all the other knights had failed miserably. With the dragon killed I took over the castle!"

"Then why didn't you take me there?" I cried. "Why didn't you tell my father? I don't believe you. What happened to all the other men?"

"I burned the castle down," he said. "So there is no Castle Perilous. And the other men, alas they perished under the claw of the dragon!"

At this I brightened and asked smugly, "Oh, did the dragon have claws? Where are they?"

Lord Garret reddened considerably. "Well, I did take the claws of the dragon, but unfortunately... I lost them...in my excitement to see you again."

"All the other men perished, you say?" I asked, completely ignoring his love-sick mind. "The Fool did too?"

"Yes," said Lord Garret, flushing even more. He seemed angry, embarrassed at just the mention of the man. "He is dead, my love. He will not bother you again."

I smiled at myself. It had worked! I was free from all beggars. Of course I still had to get rid of this lying maggot. But my father was bound to come prancing into the camp with his large company of men and rescue me. Then he would be sorry he had ever wanted to marry me off to such a disgusting race. Men! Ugh.

"Now, my dear that we are reunited again, I must ask for your hand in marriage. For I love you more than tongue can tell. My love is like the red, red rose..."

"I've already heard that one from Prince James," I said, rolling my eyes. "And he was a prince, you measly lord. And he never even dreamed of kidnapping me. Once he took the hint he went away politely and pursued someone else. Why don't you follow his example?"

"I can't, my love. I can't leave your side for a moment!" cried Lord Garret clasping my hand to his heart. I felt sick again. I stuck my tongue out at him and pulled my hand away. I had never been courted by such a pathetic love sick soul.

I was tempted to slap him, but I didn't want to touch him at all. "Go away and leave me alone. I refuse your love. You are not good enough for me. You are a kidnapper, you are not rich, and you aren't as handsome as some others I've seen. Take me home at once."

At this Lord Garret's eyes grew hard. "No! You must accept me! If you don't I shan't feed you. Take her to her tent at once and keep her there until I say."

I paled slightly in anger and fear. "How dare you!" I cried as the guards grabbed my arms. "Locking me up like some animal! I hate you! I'll never marry you, you pig, you foul, despicable, dishonorable, stupid...You didn't capture that castle! You probably never even approached it!"

Lord Garret grabbed my chin, causing me to shut up. "I would watch my tongue, if I were you, Princess. You made me do this! No one stood a chance against that castle! It's impossible. So I figured that is a much simpler way to get you." He looked at me, and I wriggled, wanting desperately to get out of his intense gaze. "You will be my wife, my pretty flower. And that is that."

I wished I was a peasant and had the courage and insolence to spit on him. But I lost my chance as the gag was placed in my mouth and I was carried away. Not to the purple cushy pavilion, but to that disgusting tent. I did not like being kidnapped. I wished my father would hurry up and come rescue me. And when he did I would give him such a lecture, he would ban all the young men from the castle and I would never have to see one again. And that Garret would...have something very bad happen to him.

But these thoughts left as I wondered how long I could go without food.