'James!' Sirius practically screamed, as he pushed open the door and barged into the house. 'James!'

Remus who had been quietly working on the sofa practically jumped out of his skin, and only just caught himself from falling off. 'Sirius?' he asked, adjusting his reading glasses and looking at the wall clock.

Sirius swiveled his head maniacally, scanning the room. 'Where's James? I need James!'

Remus got up from the sofa, carefully setting aside his books and papers on the centre table. 'He's at practice. He just called a few minutes ago, says he's going to be late.' He walked up to Sirius and placed a hand on his shoulder. 'Sirius, you okay?'

Sirius brushed off Remus's hand angrily. 'Late? Late?' He snorted. 'Well, that's just fucking rich! After all I did for him! The ungrateful bastard can't even be there when I need him!'

Remus blinked rapidly. 'Er…Sirius, are you drunk?'

Sirius scrunched his face thoughtfully. 'Drunk?' He shook his head slowly, eyes becoming glazed. 'No…no. But that's a fantastic idea though. Yeah.' He smiled satisfactorily. 'I'll just be going then. Cheers!'

Remus's eyes widened. 'Sirius, wait!'

'What, Lupin?' asked Sirius through gritted teeth, fumbling with his keys that were currently stuck in the door. 'What is it that you want?'

'Remus.'

Sirius rolled his eyes, simultaneously pulling his keys and pushing the door in the opposite direction. 'I'm sorry, I don't think they sell it at the grocery. I'll be sure to check tho-'

Remus sighed exasperatedly, and placed a gentle on hand over Sirius's own. 'Look, don't get drunk, okay? Stay home instead?'

Sirius quickly moved away his hand from under Remus's, as if burned. 'Why?'

Remus shrugged and gently took out the keys from the hole. 'Well, I'm lonely. You're the only one I know who has time to spare at this ungodly hour. Plus, there's dinner for two waiting in the kitchen, and only one person to eat it.' He smiled expectantly. 'What do you say?'

Sirius frowned. 'Dinner?'

Remus nodded. 'Chinese. And we have ice cream for dessert…'

'What flavour?'

'Chocolate?' asked Remus, hoping it was alluring enough to stop Sirius from drinking and doing something entirely stupid.

Sirius nodded, taking off his jacket and hanging it on the door hook. 'It will have to do.' He flopped down on the couch, and rolled his eyes when he caught Remus staring at him, dumbfounded. 'What are you waiting for? Go on, I'm starving.'

Remus laughed, shaking his head. 'You want to eat on the couch?' he asked, already making his way to the kitchen.

'I want tv.' Remus heard Sirius say from the living room. 'I hear they're starting this new show about…'

Dinner was an overall quiet affair. Sirius sat stoic as he ate, once in a while commenting about how ridiculous a certain show was, or how cheese could come up with better plot lines. He didn't even try to hide the fact that he was angry and upset, occasionally even dishing out on Remus and how his hair was too neat, or his cooking too bland. Remus didn't say much beyond an occasional 'hm' or 'yeah', until Sirius finally gave up on trying to make Remus angry, and fisted his dark hair painfully to ward off his persisting headache.

Remus looked at him, concern evident in his face. 'Sirius, you alright?'

Sirius snorted. 'Why shouldn't I be? My dreams have finally come true. I'm a fucking millionaire,' he added, with a flourish of his hands, and a mock ecstatic expression on his face.

Remus looked at him confused. 'Congratulations?'

'My father died.'

Remus's face fell. 'Oh, I'm sorry…'

'Don't be,' growled Sirius. 'I just found out too.'

'Oh.' Remus fidgeted slightly. 'Er…do you want to go? T-to your mother's or something? I could drive you there, if you needed it?'

'Going there?' asked Sirius, a sardonic smile playing on his face. 'Yeah, why not? Worth seeing the expression on Mother's face. Bloody bitch!'

Remus was shocked to silence and Sirius let out a barking laugh. Of course Remus was unused to such hostility toward one's mother. He probably grew up in a sickeningly loving home, where they had home cooked meals and money was never compared with happiness. They probably gave each other hugs the time, or something equally disgusting.

Sirius was jerked out of his bitter thoughts, by a consoling hand on his shoulder. A slight shiver shot up his spine, and a part of his mind told him to shrug Remus's hand off. He decided against it, because a greater, more desperate part of him wanted the comfort Remus was offering him.

He wished James was here. James would joke and talk about Lily Evans; he would force Sirius out of his brooding, wouldn't even let him think about it. He wouldn't sit here, so close, with an arm around Sirius's shoulder, and he definitely wouldn't allow Sirius space to talk and be willing to listen to him at the same time.

Sirius really hated Remus.

'I mean, I don't get it, you know…I really don't,' Sirius said, when the silence had become stifling. He unconsciously leaned into Remus, until his back was resting against Remus's chest. 'He told me I was never his son, you know. When I was running away, he didn't even try to find me, didn't even bother to check if I was still alive.' Remus stroked his hair slowly, Sirius's head now resting on his shoulder. 'He pops his clogs, and now suddenly, I'm the heir to the entire Black empire. Me…the shame of the family…the disgraced…'

'I doubt he thought you were a shame, Sirius,' said Remus softly.

Sirius let out a bitter laugh. 'You don't read the papers much, do you? I made the headlines for nearly a week after I ran away. Father made his it quite clear exactly what he thought of me.

'Grownups sometimes do odd things when they're angry, Sirius. He probably never meant it. Maybe this is his way of apologising.'

'No,' frowned Sirius. 'No. I know him, he has a motive. I just have to figure it out. Maybe he has some debts that need to be taken care of. Maybe the business is failing and he wants to take me down with the sinking ship. Maybe…maybe, he thinks that if he leaves everything to me, mother and little Reggie will finally get angry enough to kill me.'

'Or maybe, he just wanted to help you out.'

Sirius closed his eyes, rubbing his face with both hands. 'That's what he used to say, you know. That he was only trying to do what's best for us and help us out. The fuck believed it too. He really thought he was dong things right, with his bigoted beliefs and Black supremacy and all that shite. Sodding bastard.'

There was silence after that, the wall clock ticking away almost noisily. Remus continued to card his fingers through Sirius's black hair, sometimes massaging the nape of his neck soothingly. It helped to a certain extent; but it was Remus's rhythmic heartbeat beneath Sirius's palm that finally cooled down the bitter anger that had been boiling inside him for so long.

Sirius buried his face into the soft cotton of Remus's t-shirt. 'I hate him,' he whispered, and Remus's hold tightened on him.

He felt incredibly weak, and was suddenly glad, James wasn't there. Sirius had never let anyone see this side to him, not even James. He'd locked himself in the bathroom after he had run away from home all those years ago; and had stayed there until the tears tracks had dried, and the swelling of his eyes had gone down. He was Sirius Black and he was supposed to be angry. Angry with life, angry with the world, angry with the people around him, angry with his father, and most of all, angry with Remus for putting him in such a state. A state where only his age and recovered pride was keeping him from breaking down to tears like he had when he was sixteen.

Realising his position, Sirius reluctantly freed himself from Remus, wondering when he had wrapped his arms so tightly around the other man. He looked up to see Remus's green eyes staring at him with an unreadable expression.

'I'm sorry,' said Sirius slowly, though he wasn't sure what he was apologising for. 'Thanks for the dinner. You're really a brilliant cook.'

Remus blinked and shook his head. 'I didn't make it. It's from Kaw Loon.'

'Oh.' The situation should have been funny, but Sirius found it hard to laugh under Remus's intense gaze.

Remus smiled, and just when Sirius made a move to get up, he grabbed him by the chin. 'Sirius, I want you to know…that I'm here. If there's anything you need-'

Sirius cut him off by closing the gap between them, and pressing his lips firmly to Remus's. Remus made a small noise at the back of his throat, and Sirius half expected to be pushed away. Instead, he felt hands travel from his face, down to his chest, finally settling down to his lower back and pulling him closer roughly.

Sirius braced himself, both hands clutching the sofa on either side of Remus's head. He could feel their hearts beating against each other frantically as their chest pressed close together. His hands scrabbled to take off Remus's shirt and then his own, as an aching need to feel to feel naked skin against his own overwhelmed him.

It was hot, an overbearing pressure forcing him to move closer, kiss harder, plunge his tounge inside that gorgeous, inviting mouth.

Remus nipped at his neck, and Sirius finally lost the last shred of his sanity. He pushed his hips forward, almost involuntarily, and gasped as their erections brushed together.

'Bedroom,' said Sirius throatily. 'Now.'

Sirius didn't know how they made it to the bedroom, as they kissed and rubbed against each other, pressed up tight against the walls of the corridors. He didn't even know whose bed they'd collapsed into, as they fumbled with belts and trousers. All he knew was that it had never been this good before, even in his fantasies. His knees had never felt weak enough to collapse, his lungs had never felt this short of air, nor had his body feel as worshipped as it did now, beneath Remus's open mouth and sweaty skin.

Remus was sucking and nibbling at his nipples, his stomach, his exposed hip bones; making Sirius arch off the bed with pure unadulterated need.

'Remus,' he groaned, hands reaching to pull the man up, to feel those soft lips against his. 'Remus,' he said again, hands slipping inside Remus's shorts and cupping his arse. 'Fuck me.'

Sirius felt Remus stiffen on top of him. 'Oh shit,' Remus said suddenly, eyes widening as if realising where he was, and breaking away from the kiss. 'Oh God, what are we doing?'

Sirius felt Remus trying to get up, and tightened his arms around him. 'It's nothing,' whispered, Sirius, running his tounge over Remus's lips.

Remus moaned, making weak attempts at trying to dislodge Sirius's grip. 'James,' he panted. 'Sirius…James…we can't…Oh-'

'No one has to know. It's just a fuck.' He squeezed Remus's prominent erection. 'Just a fuck,' he repeated, his throat feeling oddly constricted.

Remus suddenly pushed himself off Sirius with full force. 'No,' he said, moving away quickly when Sirius reached out for him. 'No, we can't do this, Sirius. I'm sorry.' He ran a shaking hand through his hair. 'Oh God…shit…'

Sirius, whose hand was hanging in the air for so long, finally let it drop. 'Have it your way,' he tried, shrugging indifferently, despite the iron fist clutching at his heart. 'Missed out on a good shag, if you ask me.'

Remus stared at him, eyes shining brightly in the dark. 'I-I should go,' he muttered slowly. 'It's late. I s-should get some sleep.'

Sirius turned away, pulling the sheets over himself as he lay on his side, facing the wall. 'You do that.'

'I-Yeah. Goodnight.'

Sirius closed his eyes, listening as Remus turned the door handle. 'Remus?'

'Yeah?'

This was so stupid. Why did common sense have to kick in now? Couldn't it have waited until they'd both fucked each other senseless, and Sirius had gotten over this ridiculous infatuation? Now, he was stuck with an aching boner and an even larger urge to have his best friend's boyfriend.

'I'd really appreciate it if you slept with me tonight.' He tried not to sound too hopeful, as he stared at Remus's shadow moving on the wall.

'Sirius, I can't. I'm with James-'

'God, no, nothing like that,' replied Sirius, turning on his back and looking at Remus. 'What do you take me for? No, I just want you to stay, you know. It won't matter if you don't want to. You can go to your bed if the thought makes you uncomfortable.'

Remus looked down at his feet. 'This is my bed.'

Sirius looked around, for the first time since they'd entered, noticing the numerous awards and medals hanging on the walls. 'Oh. I guess I-'

Sirius shut up when he felt the bed dip and Remus climb beneath the sheets. Sirius tried to not let his disappointment show at the wide gap between their bodies.

'Right,' he said, turning away from Remus again. 'Goodnight.'

There was a slight pause, where Sirius thought that perhaps Remus had fallen asleep. He was contemplating turning around to see if his hypothesis was true, when he felt an arm wrap around his waist and a flat chest press against his back.

'Goodnight, Sirius.'

XxxxX

Sirius sighed and snuggled closer to the warmth surrounding him. He could feel the rise and fall of a chest against his own, and soft breath fanning across his collarbone.

It wasn't morning yet; the sun's light usually came pouring through the windows of the apartment in the morning, but something had definitely woken him up. The something in question was getting louder, and a part of Sirius mind registered that it sounded a lot like footfalls.

He should get up, he really should, but he didn't want to. It was comfortable here, in Remus's arms, and it was hardly a time to wake up if the sun hadn't risen yet. Besides, he reasoned, their legs were tangled together in a jumbled mess, and Remus's arms had too tight a grip for Sirius to dislodge without actually waking him up. The situation was against such a decision, and so, he stayed the way he was, until he felt a door slam noisily, and his brain suddenly kicked in…

James.

James had come home and found Sirius in his bed. With his boyfriend.

Bugger.

Sirius quickly got up, eliciting a soft whine from Remus. He was surprisingly, still asleep, and Sirius couldn't help but press a soft kiss on his forehead before exiting the room in a hurry.

He found James in the hall, fumbling with the buttons of his coat angrily as he fast- walked towards the door out of their apartment. Sirius grabbed him by the arm, but James pushed it off.

'James, wait a minute, will you?'

James whirled around, his eyes blazing with fury. 'Fuck you, Sirius, fuck you!' he shouted, stabbing Sirius with his finger. 'I can't bloody believe you!'

James was angry, angrier than Sirius had ever seen him; and an idea slowly crept up into Sirius's mind. He could use this anger, manipulate it to his benefit, let James think Remus was cheating on him and break up with him. Then, perhaps, Sirius could have Remus. Just for one night, just to get over him, and get on with his life.

'You just can't keep your dick to yourself, can you? Sirius Black has to fuck everyone in bloody London!'

James could have anyone he wanted. He didn't need Remus. If he could stage this break up, Remus would be out of their lives forever. Sirius would have what he wanted, and then he and James could go back to the lives they'd been leading before. It was perfect in everyway.

'Just when I think I might be in love with him, you have to go and fuck him, don't you, you bloody bastard!'

The statement hit like a ton of bricks.

James was in love with Remus. This wasn't just a passing fancy, or something Sirius could just dismiss for his own selfish reasons. What was he thinking?

'James! I didn't fuck him, okay!' Sirius shouted, dodging the punch his friend aimed at him.

'You motherfucking, piece of-'

Sirius grabbed James by the shoulders and shook him vigourously. 'Listen to me! I didn't. Fuck. Remus. I didn't fuck him! I tried to, but I didn't!'

James stopped struggling. 'You tried to?'

Sirius let go of his best friend. 'Yeah. Look, I didn't mean anything by it. I was drunk as shit, yeah,' he lied. 'Father died.'

'Oh.'

'Yeah, I'm really sorry. I came home looking for you, and Remus was only trying to comfort me. We're still mates, yeah?'

James nodded, his face relaxing. 'Yeah. We're mates.' He smiled. 'I'm sorry. I shouldn't have jumped to conclusions like that. I know you'd never…and neither would Remus.'

Sirius nodded, guilt washing over him. 'So you're in love with him?' he asked, his chest tightening. He didn't really want to hear the answer, but he'd asked anyway.

James shrugged, walking towards the sofa and sitting down. 'I don't know. I think I do. Not as much as Lily. I don't think I'll ever fancy someone like that, you know. But…I care about Remus quite a bit…'

Sirius looked down at his feet, curling and uncurling his toes. 'I'm happy for you, mate. Remus…he's really wonderful.' He forced a smile, not quite meeting his friend's eye.

James smiled goofily. 'He is.'

Sirius ran a hand through his hair. 'So, where were you? I know practices don't go on so far in the night.'

James glanced at his watch and shrugged. 'I guess I lost track of time. Lily invited me to dinner.'

'What, the whole team? She must be real happy with you guys.'

'No, it was just the two of us.' When James saw Sirius's doubtful expression, he hastened to explain, 'It's not what you think. She just wanted to have dinner as friends, that's all.'

Sirius frowned, but said nothing.

'Is Remus still asleep?'

XxxxX