Today is Yesterday's Memory

Today is Yesterday's Memory – Edward is an ancient vampire searching for the love of his life that was ripped from him over 3 thousand years ago. Reincarnation. Cannon pairing.

Stephanie Meyers owns all things Twilight I'm just borrowing her characters name and appearance, but the kinky and strange things they do are my creation and story. This is my un-perfect world!

Warning: Very adult material. I If you're not an adult, just don't read it.

None of this would have happened with the support and editing skills of the following people - true and tested friends: For Editing and their endless patience: John-Mark and Susan

For Constant encouragement: Annie, Liz, Sally, Susan, John-Mark, and Olivia1218; Holly; dream of the endless; and Issy who's trying to teach me to upload my own stuff! Thanks so much for your patience.

Thanks Darlin's You are all my Hero's!

~o0o~

Today is Yesterday's Memory

Chapter 4

Bella

I'm running through a dark forest and I don't know where I am. I'm calling and calling but he's not finding me. Why isn't he finding me. I miss him so much. He promised he'd never leave me. That he loved me more than life itself, but he's not here! Where is he. Where is my Love and my Life?

I awaken sweating and my heart pounding, and Charley pounding on my bedroom door.

"Bella! Are you alright? You were yelling and it sounded like you're crying. May I come in Baby? Please unlock your door and let me in."

"I'm Ok Char, er Dad. I'm OK. Please go back to bed. I was just having another bad dream. I'll be OK. I promise." I laid back down on my bed and ran my fingers through my hair. I'd been having this same dream most of my life. However, it'd been only since I'd turned 17 that it'd gotten this bad. It was a great deal more specific now.

I check out a couple of books on dreams from the Forks Library. The title was almost a joke compared to other library's I been to. This one was where a bank used to be. I didn't know why exactly, but I found that amusing. The books told me exactly nothing that I didn't know already. I decided I needed to go to Seattle and see what I could find there.

"I tell you Angela, this last dream was so real feeling. I was terrified that I'd never find him. I have to find him. I miss him and I have no idea who he is. It's so frustrating." Angela and I were sitting in a Starbucks in Seattle.

"I've hesitated about mentioning this to you before Bells, but I think you should go talk to this woman that I know. I've even been to her and she's answered a great many questions for me, and what she's told me has come true." Angela was very hesitant in the way she was telling me this.

"She's a fortune teller, right." I eyed Angela suspiciously.

"Yes, but...she's really good, and Bella, she doesn't expect to be paid anything unless what she tells you comes true and then only what you want and can afford." Angela said quietly but she did meet my eyes. They were clear and convinced.

Running my hands through my long chestnut colored hair, I gave in. "OK. I'm desperate here. I really need some answers, even if they're from a fortune teller."

"I told you, she's not a fortune teller. She just knows things about people and what's going to happen to them." Angela argued.

I stood up and gathered my bags I'd acquired shopping in the Mall. "Well, let's go!"

Angela smiled at me and quickly finished her mocha. "Ok. Let's go". She retrieved her purchases and we both headed for the exit and her car.

Fifteen minutes later we're standing on the front porch of a small middle class home in the suburbs of Seattle. Angela knocked on the door, and I stood off to the side still not 100 percent sold on this course of action.

The door opened, and I expected to see an old, slumped shouldered, long skirted, multi necklaced old woman. Instead we were greeted by a woman who was probably in her 30's who was wearing slate grey slacks and a red cable knit turtle neck sweater. Her hair was long, black and free flowing.

"Angela! How wonderful to see you again. I see you brought a friend with you." she held the screen door open Angela and I to enter into her home. "Come in, I'll make us all a cup of tea." Looking at me, "I can tell your friend isn't exactly comfortable." She smiled at me and said, "I don't bite, really."

Once inside and the door securely shut, Angela made the introductions, "Emily Young, this is Bella Swan. Bella, this is Emily."

Emily Young was very pretty, or would have been if she didn't the four long scars on the right side of her face. She must have been in a very bad accident and couldn't afford plastic surgery to eliminate the scars. I had to hand it to her though, she didn't let them get in her way. No apologies no trying to hide them. She owned them.

"I'm so happy to meet you Bella." Emily took my hand and shook it warmly. "I think this is the first time Angela has brought anyone here with her.

"Bella has been having a disturbing reoccurring dream and she needs to know what it means." Angela volunteered without my permission.

I was a tiny bit angry with Angela for doing so because it should have been my place to tell.

"If I were Bella," Emily stated reprovingly, "I would be very angry with you for disclosing something that's only her's to tell." She finished looking to me with sympathy.

My anger dissipated with Angela. I knew she only meant to help me knowing how shy I could be with people I didn't know. I realized that I would be alright with Emily however and smiled at Angela, "Don't worry Angela. My first thought was to be sharp with you, but I realized that you meant only good for me."

Angela was on the verge of tears and hugged me fiercely for not being really angry with her for her error in judgment.

Emily smiled at me and nodded approvingly. She motioned for me to follow her into the next room. Angela hesitated but I motioned for her to follow. An action that wasn't lost on Emily.

"Are you sure you want Angela to hear what I have to tell you? I've actually been expecting you for about 2 months now." Emily stated

"You have?" I almost shouted. "Why. How?"

Emily smiled. "You're not the only one who has dreams you know. I've seen you very clearly sitting right here" she indicated to a small round table with two chairs on either side. Angela sat down on one of the chairs that lined the walls of the small room.

Emily busied herself lighting candles and incense. I noticed it was one of my favorites, Sandalwood.

I sat down in the chair she'd indicated and waited to see what kind of mumbo jumbo she'd come up with. I was expecting what I'd read were Gypsy tricks. They didn't come. Instead, Emily took both my hands into hers and turned them palms up. She looked at them intently, the released me abruptly.

"You bring Death, Swan. You're looking for Death in your dreams." Emily looked me right in the eyes and said it so steadily without cracking a smile or shuttering. "Why are you seeking Death?" she asked me. There was no trace of humor in her eyes at all.

"What I'm running through the woods looking for is Death?" I couldn't believe what I was hearing. "Death, really" I scoffed, "then why do I feel like I've lost love and that I really need to find him?"

Emily sat in front of me shaking her head. "I don't know" was her calm reply. All I know is that Death is looking for you and you are looking for it. Sorry if it seem cryptic,

but I'm not being told anything but that. I do know that what you are looking for will have amber colored eyes, and that it's closer to you than it has been in a very, very long time." Emily stood, indicating that our "session" was over and time to leave.

Angela and I both left not speaking until we'd been in the car and on our way back to Forks.

"Amber colored eyes?" I was questioning myself more than anything else as I spoke.

"Yep, that's what I heard her say too." Angela acknowledged.

"I don't think I've ever seen anyone, human that is, with that color of eyes." I was thinking if I'd ever read anything about that eye color. "I had a Tuxedo cat once who's eyes were that color, and I've seen pictures of big cats who's eyes are Amber, but never a human." I'll have to go to the library, or better yet, go on line and check that out.

We were quiet after that for the entire drive back to Forks, both lost in our own thoughts.

When I got home, I sat down and turned my laptop on and Googled, Amber eyes. Some of the entries were just what I remembered have read before about cat having Amber eye coloring. There was one entry, that was on the 15th or 16th reference page on that subject.

"Legend states that certain vampire clans are believed to have this color ( amber ) eyes because they do not drink human blood." and that was all it said, just something in passing. I forgot it at once giving it no credence at all. I got no satisfaction at all from my search, not learning anything I didn't already know about.

"Don't be afraid of me Bella. I love you and have searched many lifetimes to find you again. I hope you can still love me." A sinister dark figure was speaking to me from the shadows. It was Death!

I woke up in a sweat. Oh. My. God. I was terrified. I didn't want to die. I was only 17 for heaven's shake. Why was I looking for Death, and what I had just dreamed was Death. Was it an indication that I was going to die, and die soon. All I had to do was look for amber colored eyes. I just hoped and prayed that I'd see it coming and get away.

~o0o~

A/N: Have any of your ever had dreams like Bella did? Did they scare you, or did you want to know more? When I was very young, I kept dreaming I was a Native American running through the forest with someone chasing me, I'd feel a sharp pain in my calf and fall down. Looking I'd see that I had an arrow lodged there and I couldn't run any further. I was scare very badly and I wake up screaming for help every time. Never did figure that dream out.