Tony braves the airport with Tali, facing many struggles he hadn't anticipated along the way, causing him to miss Ziva even more than he had before.
Tony's father had been great helping out with Tali, and he couldn't have been more grateful that he had his dad around to help him. Despite how he felt about his father's ability to parent, it had been nice to have someone else around, some support.
It was for that reason that Tony felt comfortable enough asking Senior to drive him and Tali to the airport, and the old man had been more than happy to oblige. Tony was glad that he wouldn't have to pay what would surely be an exorbitant parking fee, and Senior was glad to spend more time with Tali before they left. He'd never had a daughter himself, and little Tali had stolen his heart.
"She's beautiful," Senior said to Tony, nodding toward the backseat where Tali sat quietly, wide-eyed and stoic as the city sights rolled by.
"She looks like her mother," Tony responded, a smile creeping along the corners of his face.
Senior noted his son's grin and smiled knowingly, and then chuckled in response, glancing at Tali in the rearview mirror. "I agree there, son."
"Pa-pa drive?" Her small voice spoke up from the backseat as she met her grandfather's eyes in the mirror.
"That's right, Tali. Papa's driving," Senior cooed. Tony beamed at how well his father was getting along with Tali, and how quickly she'd learned to call him Papa.
"Go bye-bye?"
"For a little while, Tali," Tony explained. "We're going to fly on an airplane. Like you did when you came here. Do you remember the airplane?"
"Ahpane?"
"Yeah, airplane." He wracked his brain trying to think of the Hebrew word for airplane, but either he had never learned it or it had slipped from his memory. God, he needed Ziva now so that Tali's Hebrew vocabulary wouldn't suffer for very long, and so that his own education in the language could continue. "We're gonna fly, up in the sky, and go very, very far."
"Ima?"
Tony hadn't told his father that he suspected Ziva was alive, and he didn't want to, on the chance that he was wrong, but he also didn't want to tell Tali that she was dead, either. Not until he was absolutely sure. "Soon, baby," was all he said, and if Senior thought anything strange about his response, he didn't say it. They'd both decided that it would take time before they could break it to her, and Senior wasn't going to say anything about Ziva. That was Tony's place, and his decision.
Still, Tony had to wonder if she knew what an airplane was, or if she had any concept of it, based on what he'd said to describe it, that would automatically cause her to think of her mother. Had her mother said something similar to her? Did Tali somehow know that they were going back to find Ziva?
If only he could ask her, but having a conversation with a child, not even two, was fairly fruitless. Tony had done some reading last night, and he found that kids Tali's age had roughly fifty words of vocabulary. Judging by the fact that she seemed to know both Hebrew and English words, he wondered if that would mean she had twenty-five in each, or if she had fifty in both.
Did other parents sit and try to count the words they knew their children knew? Tony had no idea. Maybe he was doing this all wrong. He couldn't really be sure, and he worried now, more than he ever had in his entire life.
It wasn't much longer before they were pulling up to the airport, and Tony insisted that his father drop him off rather than paying for parking, even for a short time.
That turned out to be a mistake.
Aside from Tony's check-in bag, which was a rather large duffel, he had Tali's check-in bag, two carry-on bags, a stroller, a car seat, and Tali herself. He was happy to put Tali into the stroller a have it checked at the gate, but he still had about seven less hands than he needed.
As he walked rather awkwardly toward the check-in counter, he wondered how in the hell had Ziva done any of this by herself.
He somehow managed to get to the front of the line, where he handed over his two bags and the car seat, which he had to pay extra to check. Apparently, it was only one check-in item now. He rolled his eyes, but thirty bucks to not have to lug that huge thing around two airports would be well worth it.
Then came the security checkpoint.
He had to take his laptop, his portable DVD player, and his digital camera out of his bag. Then take his keys and change out of his pockets. Then place them in the bin. Shove the bag down the line. Take all of Tali's liquids (less than 3oz., of course) out of her bag, stick those in the bin, and shove the bag down the line. Shoes off, in another bin. Unstrap Tali from the stroller, close that thing up, and put it on the conveyor belt, as well.
And then Tali was supposed to walk through the metal detector. "Scared, Abba!" she screeched, recoiling from the round tube that would take her picture, and he couldn't blame her in the slightest. To a two-year-old, the thing probably looked like aliens were coming to abduct her.
The TSA people were less than helpful, and the people behind them were less than forgiving. "I'm right behind you, Tali. It's okay," he coaxed, but she stood firm, her knees locked and her face set into a deep frown.
"NO!" She screamed so forcefully that even Tony was surprised. He'd been a father for four days now, and he was wholly unprepared to deal with a tantrum, especially not for the first time in the middle of airport security.
"Is there something I can do?" He asked the TSA agent for some sort of accommodation, anything. "Can't I walk her through?"
"I'm sorry, sir, but these are the regulations." The agent didn't sound sorry to him at all. He sighed, swallowing down the urge to say something inappropriate.
It was only then that he began to miss having the badge.
"Fine." He sighed again, crouching down to Tali's level. At least the agent was letting some of the people behind him go around them. "Tali, we have to go through the tube thing. That's what you're scared of, right?" He pointed at it and she nodded, wiping her eye in frustration. "Okay. Here's what Abba's gonna do. Abba's gonna go through first, and show you that it's okay. Then when Abba goes through, then you can. Can you do that? Can you be a big girl?"
She choked on a small sob, nodding slightly. "Big girl," she said, her voice small, and he could tell that she was still terrified. Maybe, though, if he went through first then he could coax her to come to him, and everything would be all right.
Ziva would probably be so much better at this, he thought. But Ziva was not here.
"Okay Tali, I'm going to go through. Watch Abba." Tony made a big show of walking into the tube, raising his hands in the air for the x-ray, and then walking out of it, his eyes never leaving Tali's the entire time. "See?" he said from the other side. "All done."
Tali looked at her father, still afraid, but calmer now, as though seeing him conquer the scary thing first made it somehow less scary. Had he really soothed her fears, and all by himself, without Ziva? "Abba, I go?"
"Yes, Tali, you go. Abba is right here." Tali slowly walked to the tube, examining it up close before stepping inside. Then, mimicking her father, she raised her hands in the air, almost as though she were celebrating some triumph rather than being screened through security. Once the x-ray machine was finished. Tony reached in – despite the TSA agent's glare – and took her hand, gathering her into a hug. "Good job, Tali! Abba is so proud of you. You're a big girl!"
Tali reached around and gave Tony a small pat on the back, and he remembered from the DVD that Ziva had given him that he was supposed to pat her back, too. When he did, she squealed with delight. "Abba pat!"
Tears welled up in his eyes at the way she seemed to light up with joy, as he repeated her words. "Abba pat, Tali, yes. Abba pat." Finally, everything was okay again and he was able to gather their belongings so they could head toward their gate. He would have to find them a bathroom first, because there was no way that Tali's diaper would last the entire seven hours of the flight, longer if he counted boarding time.
He strapped Tali back into her stroller and put all of the things he'd taken out of the bags and pockets back into their respective places, and then put Tali's shoes on. "You didn't have to take her shoes off, ya know," a different TSA agent huffed at him impatiently, annoyed with how much time he'd taken for the screening process. Tony narrowed his eyes at her but said nothing, opting not to explain himself or his family situation to this woman.
"Fucking TSA," he thought to himself. He'd been on the world's largest emotional roller coaster in the last few days, and he'd be damned if some lady with attitude was going to get pissy with him for caring for his toddler.
The next stop was the restroom, and he rolled Tali into the men's room without really thinking about it, until he realized that the men's room, for some unfathomable reason, didn't have any changing tables. It had never mattered to Tony until this moment, and then he was cursing inwardly and wheeling her back out of the bathroom.
Stumped, he stood for a moment and surveyed the concourse, looking for some solution to his problem, when he noticed the family restroom a few gates down. The family restrooms were something he had never really paid any attention to before now. Perhaps the family restroom was the solution to having no changing tables in the men's room, but it was a piss-poor one, and Tony was already aggravated with how many ridiculous challenges he'd faced before even getting Tali on the goddamn plane.
And maybe he'd be less frustrated if he'd not just been thrust into the role of father a few days ago. He absolutely adored Tali, she'd stolen his heart from the minute he laid eyes on her, but he was still angry at Ziva for not having told him. When he had thought she was dead, he had chosen not to dwell on it, because it wouldn't even matter and there was no use being angry at a ghost, but now that he was almost completely certain she was alive, he felt justified in being upset.
He just wanted to know why. He didn't buy Orli's explanation, or lack thereof. Orli didn't know Ziva, and she certainly couldn't purport to speak for her. The only person he would trust less than Orli to know anything about Ziva's state of mind would have been her father, if he were still alive, and therefore, Orli was at the top of his Do Not Trust (Ever) list.
Trent Kort had been on it too, at least, up until he'd killed him.
But still, he just needed to know what her reasoning was. He hadn't lied when he had said that he'd have jumped on the first plane out as soon as he'd known she was pregnant. He desperately missed everything that she had experienced. He wanted to be there when they had the ultrasound, and when the baby kicked for the first time. He wanted to drive her to the delivery room and hold her hand while she brought their child into the world. He wanted to take her and their baby home and shower her with love and adoration and everything that goes with being a new parent.
He wanted them to be a family. Why, then, weren't they?
Again Tony sighed as he tugged on the door to the family restroom and found it locked. He rolled his eyes at the inconvenience, but he'd just have to wait it out. He crouched down to Tali's level, just wanting to interact with her in any way he could. She was still so new to him, and despite the fact that her pure heart had instantly trusted him just because she knew him as Abba, he felt as though he needed to win her regardless.
"We're waiting for the bathroom, Tali. Then I can change your diaper."
Tali didn't respond right away, but scrunched up her face. Tony made a face back, and Tali's scrunched up expression gave way to a smile, followed by peals of laughter. "Then we're going to go on an airplane."
"Ahpane?" It was clear to Tony that she had no idea what he was talking about, but he'd point out the airplanes to her after they got out of the bathroom.
"Yeah, Tali. Let's just hope these people hurry up. I'm hungry, aren't you?"
"I poop," she announced, changing the subject, and Tony laughed again, reminded of how futile it was to have a conversation with someone her age. Last week, if someone had told him that he would be crouched down in an airport with a toddler that was his and Ziva's talking about poop, he would have had that person committed, and Yet, he thought, here I am.
They'd been waiting outside the family restroom now for exactly twelve minutes, and he was getting impatient. How long did it take for one family to use the bathroom? Was a family of fifteen in there? He knocked on the door four times, loudly enough to ensure that they heard him, but not in the way he would have as a federal agent. Maybe he should yell, "Federal Agent!" and see if that got them out of the bathroom faster. There was an idea.
There was no response from beyond the door, so he waited another two minutes and knocked again, more insistently this time. Finally, he heard the door unlock and two young people came out, probably college-aged, looking rumpled and rather proud of themselves. "Oh, real cute," he growled, rolling his eye at them. They didn't even have the grace to look guilty. "I have a toddler who's been sitting in her own crap and there aren't any changing tables in the men's rooms while you two are preemptively trying to join the mile-high club."
Honestly, if he'd still been an NCIS agent, he might have considered arresting them. He could very easily get them on public lewdness, at least. "Sorry, bro," the guy said with a smirk, and Tony resisted every impulse he had, just to keep from punching his smug face.
And he thought Ziva was the one with violent tendencies. Maybe it just took having a child to bring them out of him.
He wheeled Tali's stroller into the restroom and locked the door behind him. Thanks to the two people before him, he was more than a little concerned about where he would change Tali's diaper. He wasn't sure which surfaces were clean enough to touch. Disgusting.
The changing table was the fold-up sort, though, and that seemed reasonably safe. He took care of the diaper issue, finding that he was already somewhat used to the poop thing. That had happened a lot quicker than expected, too, but now it was just a part of life.
"There you go, Tali, all clean!" He picked her up off of the table and sat her back down in the stroller. He should use the restroom, too, and he realized that any time he went to the restroom over the next several hours, due to the nature of air travel, Tali would have to be there with him.
"Yeah, that's not super awkward or anything," he muttered to himself. He didn't have a choice though, and he strapped Tali back into her stroller and slid into the stall – thank god there was actually a stall and it wasn't wide open – and took care of his business. Once he washed his hands, they were finally ready to go, and it was time to get something to eat before they got to their gate. Their flight wasn't boarding for another hour, and he really needed a little bit of time to relax, though he was certain that feeding Tali was going to be another ordeal.
He was exhausted.
Finding something to eat, sitting down, and getting both himself and Tali fed took almost the entire time they had left before their plane would begin boarding, and as a parent with a small child, he would be able to board early. He waited for the attendants to start their spiel and when he heard the invitation for parents with small children, he picked up all of their belongings and wheeled Tali over, handing over their boarding passes.
When he got to the end of the jetway, he pulled Tali out of the stroller and folded it up, accepting the gate-check ticket from the attendant. "Thanks man," he said as he stepped on board, carrying Tali on his hip, and she echoed what he said.
"Fangs mah!" Sort of.
They finally got to their seats and Tony sat Tali down, buckling her in. She looked so small in that airplane seat by herself, but he could not do a trans-Atlantic flight with her on his lap the entire time, plus, they needed the additional bag checks. It would be worth the money. He'd made sure that their seats were the only two in the row, and he was grateful to have this space just to themselves.
He stowed his bag in the overhead bin, and Tali's bag under the seat in front of him, and then he sat down, too, deciding on a whim to film Tali on the plane, so he could show Ziva when they finally found her. Return the favor. "We're on an airplane, Tali!"
"Ahpane!" she repeated. Tony reached into the pouch from the seat in front of him and pulled out the in-flight magazine and pointed to the picture of an airplane on the cover.
"Look, this is an airplane. We're on an airplane. Airplanes fly." He spoke animatedly, something he also hadn't known he was capable of until he met Tali.
"Fie!" At this point, Tony wasn't sure if she was retaining these words or just repeating what he was saying, but he supposed it didn't matter. There was a lot of benefit to merely exposing her to as much language as possible, and that's what he intended to do.
"That's right! Fly! Good job! And we're going to Paris. Paris is in France. France is another country, like Israel." Tali didn't respond, and he was pretty sure he had lost her with all of that information. "Israel is where Tali was born. And Ima."
"Ima!" Tali reached out her hands, as though if she just held them out long enough, Ima would materialize and come and get her. Abba was great, of course, but he was no Ima. He'd never measured up when compared to Ziva, but this time, he was absolutely willing to concede defeat. Tali needed her Ima.
"Yes, we are going to see Ima."
"Love Ima," she said with a pout, and Tony could tell that she was on the verge of tears.
"I love Ima too," he said, reaching in to tickle her cheek so that he could make her laugh again. "And you know who else I love?" He didn't wait more than a second for her to respond before speaking again, attacking Tali's neck with tickles as he said, "I love Tali!"
"Love Abba," she said back, through her giggles, and it took all of Tony's composure not to break down into tears right there on the airplane, the other passengers be damned.
Despite Tali giggling and squirming in her seat, she yawned rather conspicuously and Tony hoped that she might sleep for most of the flight. "Where Ima?" She asked sleepily, and since he no longer had to play up the charade that she was dead, Tony answered honestly this time.
"We're going to see Ima. Sleep, Tali. When you wake up we will go and find Ima." She didn't seem to understand fully, but the fact that Tony was speaking so soothingly about Ziva would have to be enough. If nothing else, she seemed calmer, and she leaned her head against the window. Tony reached up to the overhead bin and pulled down a pillow, lifting Tali's head up slightly to place it underneath, and then grabbed a blanket to cover her with.
"Kalev?" she asked, and Tony could have kicked himself. Of course she wouldn't sleep without her doggy. He reached for her bag and pulled it out, handing it to her and watching as she grabbed it, holding it tightly and closing her eyes.
She didn't fall asleep, not right away, and her eyes opened lazily for a moment when Tony brushed a piece of her hair off her face. "Good night, Tali," he said softly, running his hand softly through her hair. When she closed her eyes again, he stopped recording the video and sat back in his seat, his heart swelling as he looked over at his baby girl.
"We'll find Ima soon," he said softly, more for his own reassurance than anything else. He hoped that they would, and that she really was alive, and that he hadn't been lying to his baby this whole time.
"Please still be there waiting for us, Ziva," he prayed, closing his eyes as the flight attendant began her speech at the front of the plane.
Thank you all so much for the response to this story. It has been overwhelming. I hope you enjoyed this latest installment.