Chapter 4: in My Feelings
"I'm feeling all my fucking feelings."
—Lana Del Rey, "In My Feelings"
It had been two days since she'd slept with Severus Snape. Just saying those words out loud (okay, in her head) made Hermione's heart race, her face flush. She wasn't sure if it was embarrassment or lust. Maybe some disturbing mingling of both.
And then when she had awoken, nothing. His side of the bed was smooth and untouched. He hadn't left a note. Instead he had snuck away, living up the slipperiness of his house. She wasn't sure how to feel. Their dinner had been….pleasant, if a tad awkward. he had eventually started to talk to her as an equal, someone he could bear to be around. They'd a come long way from when he'd insulted her teeth in third year.
She'd pushed away the memory for a long while. He couldn't know how much he'd crushed her then — the girl who had wanted so desperately for approval from her teachers, for proof she belonged in this world.
Hermione shook the image from her head as she dressed in her brand new school robes. Today was the first day of whatever was going to happen next. Girls like Hermione Granger were made for the first day of school.
She finished lacing up the front of her emerald green robes and smoothed them over her waist as she gazed at herself in the mirror. "You belong here, Hermione Granger," she murmured to her reflection.
—
The day started off normal enough. Hermione attended a welcome breakfast in one of the schools's large open meeting rooms. There were about 30 students in her year, all studying different subjects. Hermione seemed to be one of the few who had such a broad curriculum planned for herself, but then again, she'd always been an over-achiever.
Many of her fellow classmates, who were from all over the world, seemed to recognize her. But rather than approach, they eyed her as if they weren't sure she was actually who she said she was. And then all of a sudden a boy was right next to her, extending his hand with an eager grin. "Hermione Granger!" he nearly squealed, with an American accent. She shook his hand hesitantly, but she couldn't help but smile back at him.
"Wow, it's so exciting to meet you in person! I've of course read your papers on magical law and creature endangerment, ooh and that really good one about the need for more expansive aurora training. My school actually changed its curriculum to require more NEWTS before we could sit the auror exam! Can you believe it?" She attempted to smile modestly, but she was a sucker for flattery.
"I don't think I've ever met someone so excited about reading academic papers," she said. "Except, well, me."
He laughed loudly, but sincerely. He couldn't be more than 18 years old, especially with that buoyant grin (a/n: I'm picturing Dev Patel here, but American). As if he read her mind, he said, "I just graduated from school in May. Oh! My name's Neal by the way. Got a little carried away."
She laughed. "A little?" He didn't blush, but shrugged a little helplessly. "Hey, what can I say? My parents sayI come on too strong, but I don't really see what they mean." He didn't wait for Hermione's response, instead pulling her towards a small of group of people. "Have you met Maggie? What about Sloan? Oh, and that's Will." Soon he was introducing her to everyone — how could he have met everyone so quickly?
Sloan and Maggie smiled at her, shaking her hand. Sloan was from California, while Maggie was from Berlin. And Will was from London. He shook her hand shyly, "I actually graduated from Hogwarts this past year." They all appeared so young, though Maggie said she was 22 and Sloan was 23. Hermione didn't know if she was imagining it, but they all looked more innocent than she. Gods, she felt like an old woman.
As they wrapped up breakfast, they compared their next moves. Turns out they all had a course called "Advanced Theories in Potions" coming up next. They walked together through the courtyard and into the airy, light-filled classroom, taking seats and chattering like they hadn't all just met. Hermione felt herself relaxing, pleased to be around people who cared so much about learning.
"I hear the new potions master is one of the most renowned researchers in the world," Sloan said with wide, excited eyes. Neal smirked and bent toward them like he was sharing a secret. "Well, I hear he's pretty sexy." Neal winked at Hermione and waggled his eyebrows aggressively. Everyone laughed. Hermione actually hadn't heard a thing about the potions master. The slot had been left blank on her time table, and she'd been so excited about her other professors (some of the most well-respected magical faculty in the world) that she'd forgotten to inquire further.
She bent down to grab her book and a quill when the door opened and her new professor strode in, his shoes making light clacking noises across the floor. She glanced up quickly and felt her heart stop in her throat.
He had his back to her, writing his name in chalk on the board. But she didn't need to follow his careful handwriting to know who was standing in front of her. Just a few night before she'd had her hands in that hair, pushing his tongue further into her most intimate parts. She was shaking, surely, would everyone be able to see her reaction? She started to sweat. What would happen when he turned around and saw her sitting there? Gods, she had fucked up.
He finished writing and turned to face the small class. His eyes found hers immediately, widened almost imperceptibly. She thought she was going to burn up right there at her desk. What would he do now?
And then he spoke in that familiar, snarky voice. "My name is Professor Snape, you will address me as such. I will be teaching you this term as we go further along in your potions education than you have ever gone before. I sure hope you are ready for it. Now, please open your books to page 394. Today I am going to teach you about antidotes to poisons you should hope you never ever come in contact with."
And then Snape proceeded to ignore her for the entire rest of the lesson.
Thanks so much for reading/following/reviewing! Ten points to Gryffindor if you can tell me what connects all of Hermione's new friends' names. 3