A/N: hello hello hello i haven't updated this in a while so i decided, hey i should update this while listening to fall out boy yes that's a wonderful idea

and alas, here we have a chapter xD woohoo

disclaimer: i don't own dan or phil; and i'm not saying that phan is real xD although i wish it was... /sigh/

setting: present universe

enjoy~

IV.

new perspective

It was mid-afternoon and Phil was just editing a video that he and Dan had recently filmed — it was Phil is not on Fire 6. He knew a lot of subscribers and fans were basically begging for them to upload it, and they finally did yesterday.

After he finished adding the final touches to the video, he quickly went on Twitter and tweeted the message that the new Phil is not on Fire was out. He grinned as he read people's tweets, many saying "FINALLY!" and a lot said their day has just been made.

Phil was glad they were happy, and that he was making them happy. It was weird, but making them happy made him happy as well. Dan probably would've made a sarcastic joke about this — but Phil knew Dan liked it when his fans were happy too.

And then, there were the occasional tweets remarking things about "Phan," the ship name for both Dan and Phil. Phil still wasn't sure how to feel about it, sure he read some of the fanfics about the two of them — and each time he couldn't finish because in the middle of it he would blush and shut his computer off.

So... Yeah. Phil probably did have the smallest crush on his flatmate — Dan Howell, but he was not going to let the internet know that. They'd seriously faint if they found out.

Meanwhile, he hummed a song as he closed his Mac and set it on his bed. Maybe he'd go downstairs for a snack, for he and Dan both hadn't ate lunch yet.

Phil just about opened the door and stepped out with a smile on his face when he slammed into something — or rather, someone in this case.

There was a throb in his skull as he grit his teeth in pain, rubbing his eyes. "Dan? Is that you?" He blinked to see Dan rubbing the side of his head painfully in response.

"BLOODY HELL, PHIL!" Dan cursed, but he was smiling as both adults stared at each other, after leaving their rooms at the same exact time. "Did you have to walk out the same exact time I did?"

Phil was too busy laughing to apologize, although his face was red and his skull now had a dull throb because of the contact. "Sorry! I was just out to get a snack — " he said, as Dan laughed in response.

"Funny," He said as he grinned at Phil, his dimple showing as he did so. "I was gonna do the same thing." He ran a hand through his hair, probably to fix it as Phil shook his head and pushed him aside playfully.

Goodness gracious, the way Dan did that made Phil's heart jump. Each time Phil was so tempted to tell Dan to stop messing with his hair, but he couldn't — for there was basically no reason to. It would be just plain out odd.

They made their way to the kitchen, and Dan was just opening the fridge to see what they had when he turned to Phil, still smiling. "So, what were you doing upstairs?"

"You know, editing," Phil said, shrugging. "Mostly because you didn't help me either." He laughed as Dan scoffed, rolling his eyes and shutting the fridge at the same time.

"Excuse you, Phil," Dan said sarcastically. "I actually helped, okay! All the transitions and everything." He tossed Phil a bad of ice cubes, Phil staring at it in wonder.

He continued to study the cubes as Dan was now rummaging through the cupboards. "Uh... Dan? What're these for?" He shook the bag of ice cubes in his hand as he watched Dan, who had turned to answer his question.

"For us," he said, as he pointed to his skull. "My head still hurts from when you smashed into me." Dan looked up as Phil blinked in response. "Surely your skull still hurts from the impact?"

"Oh, right!" Phil said, stuttering as he pressed it to the side of his skull. "It doesn't hurt as much as it did though, I'm fine." He turned around to go to the lounge, but as he did so he dropped the bag of ice cubes on the floor, making him squeal — and Dan jump.

Dan facepalmed as Phil apologized over and over again, feeling his face flush in embarrasment. At the same time he was too busy laughing into his hand as Dan raged at him for dropping the ice, and at his clumsiness.

"GOODNESS GRACIOUS PHIL!" Dan laughed as he glanced at his flatmate who was too busy laughing as well. The two of them began to clean up the mix of ice and water while just bursting out into random fits of laughter. "You and your clumsiness. I forgot. Well, I know not to do that again."

"At least I won't kick you out for just spilling ice all over the floor," Dan added as Phil walked into the lounge and collapsed into one of the sofas. "I'm a good friend like that, aren't I?"

Phil flushed with embarrassment as he turned on the TV. "Yeah, yeah. Sure. I would say the same for you, Dan. You have your moments around the house!" He sighed.

Dan took a seat next to Phil, holding a glass of water in his hands. "Pffft. I assume so." He turned his eyes to the TV screen as he drank his water before adding, "I'm not great at a lot of things either, it's fine to be embarrassed."

Huh? Phil turned around to face him. "What? You're great at piano. You beat me a lot of times when we played some video games. You're better than me when it comes to making people laugh, too." He gave Dan a knowing look, who shook his head in response.

Dan sighed. "Well, there's those things. I guess I'm decent in some areas... I'm a worthless human in general." He trailed off as he set the empty glass of water on the table next to him. It was silent for a while, but Phil refused to let Dan think he was like this, even if Dan was probably going through an "existencial crisis" as he called it.

"Dan." Phil said seriously, as he shut off the TV. The younger adult's eyebrows raised in questioning as he did so, urging him on. However, Phil wasn't exactly sure how to word what he was trying to say, leaving an awkward silence.

Dan laughed. "Phil, if you turned off the TV for this it must be fucking important. What is it? I'm missing my show," he said jokingly as Phil hit him lightly.

"Shut up! I'm trying to think how to word it." Phil retorted. He took a shaky breath. "Dan... I'll admit to you that I'm a bit... Jealous? Of you?" He said slowly, but ended it as a question. When Dan looked surprised, he continued.

"Yeah... Well maybe jealous is a bit of an unaccurate word, but I'll go with it. I kind of envy you and your talents sometimes — especially your piano playing. You're... A great person in general, I guess, and I'm saying this because I know you, Dan." Phil confessed, avoiding his gaze. "I don't really want you to think of yourself as worthless, Dan, because you're... you're not."

"Everyone's special in their own way, and you're special in yours." Phil said. "Don't think of yourself as a... a human being just there in the universe — because I assure you, Dan, you have a purpose and you're here to achieve it."

Phil laughed. "If anything, I'm probably the worthless one out of the two of us. I can't really do a lot of things well like you can." he smiled shyly at Dan, who was just staring at him in a mix of awe and apprehension.

"I don't see you as worthless, anyway," Phil added. "And... Uh, I like you?"

He didn't realize he'd said the last few words out loud until he saw Dan's eyes widen. Phil jolted himself back to reality, finally figuring out what he'd done. "Oh, sh — izzle." He said, his cheeks growing warm. "Uh... Please disregard that."

"Phil." Dan then said after a few moments of awkward silence. "Phil... I — " Dan chuckled nervously as he turned away, but Phil saw a hint of a blush on his face. "Thank you, for that... Thanks. I think... I feel loads better now."

Phil opened his mouth to say "You're welcome," but his throat was dry and he was too embarrassed to say anything else, so he just focused on the tiny ant which was on the carpet.

Then he turned around to see Dan staring at him, and he nearly jumped in surprise. "I — Uh, Dan? What is it?" He nervously bit his lip as he glanced back.

"I think I should redirect everything you just said and point that towards you, Phil." He said, grinning. "You're not worthless. You see yourself as is, but in reality — you're not. I promise you that. You make people laugh, more like you make me laugh easily. Although I admit I'm better than you in piano," Dan added as Phil rolled his eyes.

Phil sat there quietly as a smile spread across his face. "Well, thanks."

He reached for the remote, which was next to Dan, but in the midst of doing so, Dan gently grabbed his arm and pushed it away, so the two of them were now staring at each other — face to face.

Phil's cheeks reddened. "Uh... Dan?"

Dan didn't answer him. Instead, he gently cupped Phil's face as he closed the gap between both of their lips, kissing him intently. Immediately, Phil's mind went haywire. Dan — "No homo Howell" — was kissing him!

They seperated moments later, and Phil was gaping at Dan, who's cheeks were definitely red now. He smiled shyly as he fixed his hair once more, avoiding Phil's gaze.

"About earlier..." Dan then said. "I know you meant that you said you liked me... So..." He looked back up at Phil, chuckling. "There's my answer."

Dan liked him back.

Holy shit. Phil was at a loss for words. Then he burst out laughing, Dan doing the same. He recalled earlier's events. "How did we even get to wanting to get a snack to confessing our love for each other?"

"Dunno, but I'm glad we did." Dan laughed.

"I guess... They weren't wrong after all. The fans." Phil then pointed out. "Should we tell them that we're... uh, official now? That 'phan is real'?"

Dan smirked at Phil. "Personally, I think they already knew."

They spent the rest of the day cuddling with each other, browsing on the Internet, and having their share of snacks. Phil smiled.

Today was a great day indeed.

A/N: loud sigh wow that was a lot to write i have a small headache now haha, i still have to update my other fics soon hnnngh.

it always makes me laugh when dan and phil admitted they read fanfictions. maybe someday i'll ask them which one's their favorite.

hope you enjoyed xx

-choco :-)