Brendan woke up for the smell of bacon. Before he opened his eyes he thought he was at home and it's Cheryl in their kitchen, treating him for what ever reason by making a proper breakfast, one of the rare meals she won't fuck up. But then he remembered where he was, and why, batted his eyes open and let himself get accustomed to this place he was in.
The room was very plain, like the decoration was done only half way. The walls were light, very pale blue so they almost looked white when sun hit them. There was a big window facing to the street, but the area is so peaceful there was hardly any sounds coming in. On the opposite wall was a massive closet where Brendan stored most of the possession he had with him. With the closet, the bed, a small night stand and carpet on the floor the room was empty, like waiting someone to move in.
Then Brendan remembered that Steven had meant this room for Amy, while the kids would have the room next to it. There were no decorations, because Steven wanted her to make a home out from it, fill it with things important to her. After that realisation the emptiness of the room made Brendan's heart ache. Steven was a someone who seemed he had it all, but in the end lacked what he desired the most.
He could hear Steven moving downstairs, the low music from the radio, the clang of pots and pans. The smell of bacon and coffee made Brendan's stomach crumble.
He got out from bed, had a stretch and then did a set of push ups to wake his body up. After he was done he popped into bathroom to his business, brushed his teeth and tried to make himself look presentable. His bread needed trimming but other than that he was pretty pleased how he looked. No matter how many times he tried to remind himself he was there to look after Steven, not trying to woo him, Brendan still hoped Steven liked what he saw when he looked at him.
Brendan made his way downstairs and to the kitchen, where he met Steven middle of frying sausages on the pan. The lad threw a shy smile towards him.
"Morning. I was hoping you'd get up soon, this is almost ready."
"You didn't have to do this, Steven." Brendan walked over and had a look on what he was doing. The mixture of smells was making his mouth water. "But thank you."
"No, I wanted to, 'cause, I didn't think about the food properly yesterday and what kind of chef would I be if I'd let my guest starve. Besides I needed to get rid of this stuff in the freezer, before they get old. Only now there's hardly anything in, I need to go to shops later on."
He was moving around the kitchen space while talking, pouring the coffee, plating the foods and setting the dishes aside. He did it all so gracefully and fast that it was clear the kitchen was where he felt most comfortable. Steven took up one of the plates and a cup of coffee and handed them to Brendan.
"Here ya go."
"Thank you Steven." Brendan waited Steven to get his own plate and then followed the lad to the table. After he had sat down he had a proper look on what he had. There was bacon, fried eggs and sausages, some mushrooms and fried potatoes and green beans.
"I didn't have tomatoes or white beans, but I thought this would do." Steven said when he noticed Brendan was studying his dish. "Oh, I forgot the toast." And he was off again, getting the rack full of toast, butter and jam on the table before Brendan had the time to say anything.
"It looks amazing. First class breakfast." He noticed Steven's plate wasn't nearly as full as his, and when the lad started to eat he took small bites where as Brendan himself was wolfing the food down. "And it tastes good too." He said between mouthfuls.
There was that same shy smile on Steven's face again when he looked Brendan eating. "Ta."
For a while they both just ate with radio playing on the background. Brendan noticed Steven had changed the channel from the classics he had on yesterday to something which played cheesy pop songs. Somehow that reminded him how young the lad really was, and the age gap between them. Steven looked older than what Vincent had been when they first met, but Brendan was older too than he had been then, and guessed there was about ten years age difference with him and Steven. It would have been a lie to say that skinny lads in their twenties weren't his type. Suddenly Brendan was very aware of the white hairs in his beard and how old he must seemed like for someone that age.
"I was thinking," Steven's voice cut of Brendan's thoughts, "I'd like to go and see the kids today. Well at first I need to explain everything to Amy, I didn't want to call her 'cause.. Because I want to tell her in face to face. And in case she says I can't come and visit them anymore I can at least see them this one last time, before..." He took a new bite from his toast and looked completely miserable by the thought.
"I'm sure it won't come to that, Steven." Brendan did his best to sound reassuring. "And if, if that happens you know it's not your fault, and it's only to keep your kids safe. Yeah?" Steven gave him a hopeful look. "You wanna go by yourself?"
"Aren't you supposed to watch over me? What if the guy is just waiting the next moment you aren't with me? And besides, seeing you might reassure Amy, because you are all..." He made another of those vague indications towards Brendan's body.
"I'm not going to sit few feet away from you when you play with your kids, Steven. I was thinking, if you plan to take them to that park again, I could have my exercise there? It's not a big area, I should be able to see you all the time when I run around it, and it would still give you the privacy with your little ones. How does that sound?"
"Good, yeah." Steven was nodding. "Is it okay if we go in the few hours? Around noon? And I need to do that grocery shopping after, but then I have nothing else except to prepare for tomorrows photo shoot so you can like, chill rest of the day."
"Sounds good to me."
They finished their breakfast and Brendan retreated back to his room. He would have wanted to stay in the lounge and keep on talking with Steven, but the professional side of him said how stupid it was. He was already getting way too involved and he could see the road to disaster in front of him. With his other clients he had his distance, if he stayed over he had his own space where he had his take way dinners or what ever, and only was in their clients presence when they wished for. With Steven he kept forgetting he was on a job, and it felt natural to spend time with him even after just a one day properly being with him. Too natural, and it was messing with his head. So, instead of staying downstairs to watch telly or talking he stayed in his room, tried to pass time with his laptop and did his best to avoid the desire to go back down before he heard Steven carefully calling for him.
Brendan had his training clothes on, another pair of trackies and black T-shirt, and Steven gave him a long look when he got down the stairs. He too looked very casual in his trainers, trackie bottom and hoodie on top. Brendan thought they probably looked just like two mates hitting the park together for Sunday outdoor activities.
"Are we taking your car?" Steven asked when they were out on the street.
"Of course we are." Brendan had no desire to travel on public transportation or have all those strangers around Steven. He indicated Steven to get in. "Why? You don't want to?"
"This all just seems a bit weird, is' all. Like, you're my chauffeur or something." Steven strapped himself on with the seat belt and threw a shy smile towards him.
"Multitasking, ain't I, man of many skills." Brendan said and got a short honking laugh out of Steven. He was grinning himself while driving out of Steven's area and towards Amy's place. "But all this traveling you do, you should get your own car, make life easier."
"I can't drive though." Steven said and when Brendan gave him a surprised look he laughed again. "Well, I can drive, but I don't have the license. I used to nick cars when I was a teenager."
"Jesus, seriously? A little criminal, were you?"
"Yeah. I did a lot of stuff in my teens, before... Before I got a change to make something better." He didn't look embarrassed to talk about it, which surprised Brendan even more. Most of the people weren't so open about the mistakes of their past. Steven just looked bit sad, like he was feeling sorry for his old self. "Anyways, when I got me life back on track I had so much going on and driving felt too scary after everything, and I just never got into it again. But you're right, I should get it sorted, now when I can actually afford a car."
"I'm sorry I brought this up." Brendan said but Steven just shook his head.
"No it's alright. I'm not ashamed of it. Like, I hadn't even thought how people would dig up things when you go into telly so of course some of the news people found that out, and they tried to make it a big thing, but I don't need to explain it to anyone, do I? I have paid for the things I've done and after I started to work with Tony I've been a proper citizen so, none of that old stuff can throw me off now. So don't feel sorry for me, okay?"
"I don't." He didn't. It was the opposite, in fact. Quick glance towards Steven and Brendan saw him sitting upright, calm, the sun hitting him behind the window so it seemed like he was glowing. He was owning his past in ways not many people were able to do, Brendan included. The more Brendan learned about him the more he started to understand that he was much more than just a young lad, pretty enough to eat. Brendan had never been this amazed by anyone before.
Steven turned his head a little so he could give Brendan a studying look, like to make sure he wasn't lying. What he saw must have passed the test because he just said "Good." and then they were silent rest of the way, except when Steven told Brendan which way to turn and where to park the car.
"Okay, so I'm gonna talk to Amy first, so she can make up her mind with.. With everything." Steven said when they walked towards the council flat where Amy and the kids lived. He seemed to speak more to himself than to Brendan, as to steel himself for what was to come. Brendan wanted to stroke his arm for comfort, but mumbled it will be fine instead while Steven rang the doorbell.
The woman, or girl most likely by the looks of her, opened the door. Brendan had seen her from afar but now he could see more clearly that she too was as slim as Steven was, and very young. Brendan had to remind himself that he and Eileen had probably been the same age than Steven and his girl were when first kid was born, but it was getting harder to imagine himself that young. Amy had a wide, bright smile on her face when she greeted Steven and looked like going for a hug, until she spotter Brendan and her smile wavered a little.
"Oh. Hi." Her eyes moved between Steven and Brendan and Brendan could see her making the connection.
"Hi Ames, err, this is Brendan." Steven made his introductions and Brendan extended his hand to her.
"Pleasure to meet you, Amy."
"You too." She looked unsure how to react. "I'm sorry, Ste didn't mention he was coming with someone, so..."
Before she could go any further the kids pushed past her with chanted greetings and rushing to hug their dad. Steven crouched so he was on the same level with them and gave both of them hugs and kisses while Amy threw curious glances towards Brendan over them. The little girl looked Brendan over his dad's shoulder.
"Who are you?"
Amy tried to shush her to be polite but Steven laughed and picked her up while standing up so she was higher on Brendan's levels while the little boy had escaped to his mum and peeked him from safe distance. "This is Brendan, he's daddy's friend." Then he turned to look Amy. "Actually, Ames, do you mind if we come in for a sec, there's something I need to talk to you."
"Yes, of course." She pushed the boy to get inside and then made room for Steven and Brendan to get through the door. "Please come in."
"Thank you, Amy." Brendan said while passing her and she gave him a thin smile which didn't quite reach her eyes.
The flat was pretty small, almost like most of it could be fitted in Steven's kitchen and living room area. There were manky looking wallpapers and all kind of signs of living on the door frames and rug on the floor, but place looked clean and cozy, even with kids stuff spread all around. Or maybe that was exactly why the place looked so lively, and Brendan suddenly realised that this had been Steven's home once. Compared to this little chaos his current apartment seemed very empty and Brendan had to wonder how lonely Steven felt himself inside it.
"Right, Amy, if I could have a word in the.." Steven had put the little girl down and nudged his head towards what Brendan guessed must be the bedroom. Amy gave a suspicious look towards Brendan, like she wasn't feeling comfortable leaving him alone with her kids. Steven saw it too, but instead of saying anything he turned to his kids. "How about you two show Brendan your toys, eh? Leah, show him what you have been drawing, or maybe you and Lucas can ask him to read a book for you."
Being a babysitter wasn't really what Brendan had signed in for. "Steven..."
"I'm just gonna have a little world with your mummy, okay, back in a sec." Steven continued and gave Brendan a begging look.
There was nothing he could have said, and before he had time to come up with anything anyway Steven had already rushed Amy behind closed door, but not before Brendan heard her hissing "You can't just come up here with your new bloke without letting me know beforehand!". The bedroom door closed behind them.
Brendan was alone with the kids. He stared at them. They stared at him. None of them said anything. The boy shifted on his feet a little. Okay.
He did what he had seen Steven do and crouched down so he was more on their level, hoping he would look less threatening. "So you're Leah and Lucas then? Your dad has been talking a lot about you two." Did he sound friendly? He wasn't sure, he had no idea how to talk with kids. "I'm your dad's new friend."
"Are you daddy's boyfriend?" Leah asked. Straight to business then. Brendan could see lot of Amy in her.
"No, I'm not. Just a friend."
"Are you coming out with us?"
"Yeah."
"Why?"
Jesus. How long would Steven take? "Because your dad wants me to."
"Why?"
"Are you gonna show me your drawings like your daddy asked?"
"No."
"Okay." Brendan was really running out the ideas what to do. Had his own sons been this difficult to talk to? Maybe he just hadn't been around enough to notice it. "Alright, Lucas?" The boy had been standing behind his sister the whole time, but seemed more confident after Leah had talked to him. He pointed Brendan's face.
"Beard."
"Yeah, I have a beard." Brendan stroked it. "Your dad doesn't have one, does he."
"Mommy says it's because he can't grow one." Leah said. "How do you grow it?"
"It just grows, like hair."
"How does hair the grow then?"
"You're a nosy one, aren't you?" Brendan wasn't sure was he annoyed of amused.
"Daddy says I'm clever. I go to school. Lucas is too small for school, he's still in daycare."
Lucas had gone pick up a book and slowly made his way to Brendan handing it over. It was a story book, with some classical stories in it. Lucas had opened it on one page and pointed the picture on it. "Beard."
It seemed to be a picture of party of some kind, with people in their fairytale dresses, and there was a man wearing a crown and red cape who had a brown beard on his face. "Look at that. Yeah, he has a beard too. I'm no king, though."
"She's Sleeping Beautys' father." Leah said. "He sent her away so the evil fairy couldn't find her."
"I'm more of a man of action. Like here," he had flipped through the book and found a story of Little Red Riding Hood. "The Huntsman. He has a beard too."
"He kills the wolf and saves the Little Red Riding Hood." Leah informed and Lucas was nodding next to her. "But it's just a story, so you don't have to kill any wolves." And then she was on about stories and princesses and all Brendan had to do was to try and look interested.
Few minutes later Steven came into room. Brendan rose up and tried to meet his gaze but he was looking at his kids. "Right then, ready for park?" His voice was forcefully cheery and when the kids run off to look their shoes and jackets Steven leaned closer to Brendan. "Amy wants a word."
"What? With me?"
"Yeah." Steven finally looked at him but Brendan couldn't read anything from his eyes. "In the bedroom. We'll wait for you outside."
It seemed like he had no choice. He left Steven help the kids to dress up and made his way into the bedroom. Amy stood there, arms folded in front of her. "Please close the door."
Once he did it they stood there in silence. Brendan had a good look on her. Around her eyes looked bit red, but yet her eyes were dry when she was giving Brendan an icy glare.
"Steven said you are some sort of professional. That you are going to keep him safe. Keep my children safe. I need to know if it's true."
"I am. I will." She looked like she didn't believe him. "What did Steven tell you?"
"Enough." Then her tone changed a bit, and Brendan could hear the true reason for her cold behavior behind it – fear. "Is it really bad? Is he in real danger?"
Brendan wasn't sure how much Steven had told her so he had to tread carefully. "It seems who ever is behind this is more keen to emotional harm than physical one. Tries to scare him in different ways. I'm here to give him the backup he needs to feel comfortable."
"Do you think he'll come for my kids?"
"I'm being honest with you, Amy. If I'd thought the kids are in danger I would have advised Steven to contact you sooner, or sent the police in. It seems like who ever it is has been following him a long time, so he already knows about his routines, knows about the kids." Amy nodded and Brendan guessed Steven had said the same thing. "Like I said, I think it's all about making Steven scared. It gives that guy a feel of power. Steven is his target, no one else. I'll give you the number of the officer who's dealing his case, if you want to check if they can arrange someone to watch over you, or I can see if any of my contacts could put on a security if it makes you feel any safer."
She was shaking her head. "No, I believe you. It's just that I have tried to keep them safe from the publicity and live a normal life despite someone trying to take their pics just to get a scoop on the paper because their dad is a celebrity. Having someone following them, even if it was a police or.. I wouldn't want that, not unless I have to. It's him I'm most worried about."
"I'll look after him." Brendan said again and this time she looked more assured.
"They are waiting for you."
Steven and the kids were already made their way outside and were on the small front yard, kids running around making aeroplane noises and Steven pretending like he was trying to catch them. He stopped when Brendan came outside and Amy appeared on the doorway.
"Alright?" And when Amy gave him a nod he told the kids to wave for their mommy before they started to make their way to the park near by. Once they had a clear view for it Steven said the kids to race to the playground, and soon as they were out of earshot he turned his attention to Brendan. "How did it go?"
"Alright, I guess. She just needed some reassurance."
"I know. I tried to explain it to her, she didn't believe me at first and then she got all spooked because of the kids." He looked miserable for a moment. "I hate this. I hate that I have to bring my family in to this."
"Hey, it's going alright, isn't it. She hasn't said you can't see them anymore, has she, so it's all fine." They had almost reached the kids who were already playing in the swing set. "Do you want me to stay with you?"
"No, don't want to force you hang around the noisy kids, do I." Steven smiled at him. "You probably already had enough of them, our Leah can be a quite a talker if she wants to."
"Gets that from you, I imagine." Brendan grinned when Steven pretended to be outraged before smiling back to him. "I'll go for my run then, yeah? I'll keep an eye for you whole time, so if anything happens, just shout, okay?" And with Steven assuring that they would be fine he started to jog on the path.
The park wasn't large, and the vegetation was sparse enough that Brendan never properly lost a sight of Steven and the kids. Not that there seemed to be any threat anyway, there weren't many people around. There was one other jogger with his dog, a older couple sitting on one of the benches and group of youngsters goofing around on the other end of the park. Other people were passing through but didn't stay to linger, so Brendan started to relax a little.
It was nice to get on moving, he hadn't had a proper exercise since he started to watch over Steven and he had lot of energy piled up in his body. He hadn't been on a pull either, so no wonder he was feeling frustrated in many ways. That must be it.
Brendan had lost count of how many times he had run around the park. It seemed that every time Steven looked up from the kids, no matter how far away Brendan was from him, their eyes locked. It was weird how it sent shivers down from his spine. One time when Brendan was running close by Steven was bending down, maybe picking something up, and even when his pants were size or two too large the fabric got tighter around his bum, and Brendan almost lost his footing. He was glad no one seemed to see his stumbling but he still picked up his pace to run away the frustration.
He had just decided that he had enough of the running for a day and make it his last round, when he saw a man approaching Steven. Brendan felt the thudding of his heart and ran faster towards them, ready to tackle the man down. Only when he got closer he noticed that the man was there with a little boy who was now playing with Leah and Lucas while their dad's were having a chat.
Steven turned to him when Brendan was almost there. "Alright?" He said smiling. He looked a bit flushed, probably from playing with kids.
"I think I've done enough for today." Brendan had a little stretch and Steven quickly turned to his kids.
"Okay you two, we should get you back to mummy." There was some obligatory complains but in the end it didn't take long to get them to say bye for their playmate and get on their way to home. Steven was holding both of their hands and the journey took a bit longer now, cause the kids were clearly tired and were walking slower. Brendan didn't mind, he liked to listen Steven chatting with them.
Amy was waiting them, because the door opened soon as they got on the yard. The kids ran towards her blabbing about what they had been doing. Brendan nudged Steven's arm and when he looked at him he said "I'll go wait in the car while you say your goodbyes." To his relief Steven gave him a nod and Brendan left them to save himself from feeling an outsider.
It took only a few minutes before he saw Steven hurrying towards him, looking mighty amused.
"What?" Brendan asked when Steven kept throwing glances towards him while he was driving.
"You know what Amy said? About you?"
"No. Do I want to know?"
"She said you look so massive and scary that it should drive away any creeps from following me."
"What's so funny about that?" It wasn't the first time Brendan had heard about it. It was kinda the reason people hired him, to look menacing enough to give his clients the peace they wanted.
"It's just funny how other people see you like that. Tony was saying the same thing, how a bloke like you should be all I need. And I kinda get that, the first time we met you were bit, whats the word, intimidating, but now you're just..." His voice trailed off and he turned to look out from the window.
"I'm what?" Brendan prompted.
It took a long time for Steven to answer, and when he did it was just a faint mumble. "Safe."
Brendan had hard time to swallow, like he had something stuck in his throat. He tried to clear it but when he spoke his voice still sounded bit funny to his own ears. "The shops near your block good enough for you, or you want to go somewhere else?"
Steven seemed to welcome the change of subject and guided Brendan to the supermarket he wanted to use.
It was weird to do shopping with someone else than Chez. Steven kept asking Brendan what he liked to eat while stuffing things on the trolley. Brendan tried to shrug it off at first, but after Steven basically threatened him with celery, stating that as long as Brendan was under his roof he would feed him and if he wasn't telling what he liked Steven would just have to steam him vegetables, Brendan gave in and they managed to get stuff in which pleased them both. Another embarrassing moment happened when it was time to pay. Brendan tried to offer to do it but Steven didn't listen, saying it was part of their contract that he would pay the expenses. It was technically true, but it still didn't feel right, and Brendan hoped the cashier would just look at his sweaty clothes and think he had left his wallet home, instead of seeing it as a young twink paying his older man foods.
They drove back to Steven's, and Brendan went straight to upstairs bathroom for a shower to get the sweat off from him. When he got back down Steven had made a lunch, salad of somekind but it had massive chunks of chicken in it too, clearly to stop Brendan complaining about the green stuff. Again Brendan noticed that Steven's own dish was clearly smaller than his, and he still ended up leaving some of it in the plate where as Brendan was almost licking his after finishing. Steven gave him an amused smile and asked would he like to finish his portion, and it would have been rude to decline and the that delicious food go to waste.
He was making his way back up afterwards, but Steven stopped him. "There's not even telly in there, or anything, it must be so boring sit in there all alone with nothing to do. If you want you could stay here, keep me company?"
So he just went back up to fetch his laptop and sat on the sofa answering emails and such, while Steven was starting his doughs and what ever for the next day. They didn't talk much, but it didn't feel awkward either. Once Steven was pleased with the state of his kitchen he seemed to remember he hadn't made any dinner yet, and asked would it be enough if he just warmed up some soup from the freezer, but ended up making some grilled sandwiches on the side too. And instead of eating by the table they opened the telly and had their soup and sandwiches on the sofa.
There was some american film playing on and for a while they both just watched it silently, but then Steven was commenting about some stupid plot twist and it was all it took for them to start talking. Well, Steven did most of the talking and Brendan just made the right kind of noises to keep him going.
"I always think american accent is funny, do you?" and without waiting for an answer "It's always weird to hear Doug talking, it's so different."
Who the fuck is Doug? Brendan thought but before he had a change to ask Steven was already on another subject.
"Why do they have to do everything with their cars, though? Like that bald guy is massive, he could take the baddies down with his bare fists." He let out a honking laugh. "His arms are almost as massive as yours, right?"
"Almost, yeah." Brendan said.
They turned to look at one another and the warmth of the shared joke floated between them. Then there was a shift of some kind, the smile on Steven's face was slowly disappearing while his eyes were growing darker. Brendan could see the movement of his chest when he breathed in... And then he suddenly jumped up from the couch.
"I'm actually tired, so I'm gonna take a shower before bed. See you in the morning, alright."
"Good night, Steven." Brendan said but Steven was already on his way and seconds later his bedroom door closed.
Brendan tried to shake what had just happened from his mind and did his best to focus on the movie, when he heard the sound of Steven's shower going on. It was hard trying to follow the film and not to rather imagine Steven under the water, naked, stroking soap all around him, and in the end Brendan closed the TV and went back to his room in case Steven needed something from the kitchen and would find Brendan sporting a semi on his couch. He could still hear the shower up there. He cursed and dug out the glass and bottle of whiskey he had tucked into his closet, and hoped the burn of the alcohol would help to ease this other kind of burning he was going through.
::::::
When Ste looked the time next morning after waking up he realised he had almost overslept. It was already nine, and the group would be in his house at ten, so there would not be much time to dress up and finish up the preparations.
He rushed trough his morning routines and trying to pick up the clothes while he was silently cursing his own foolishness. Getting off always made him sleepy, and after his long wank in the shower he must have just drop off soon as he hit he bed without setting the alarm.
Oh God, last night. Ste felt the rush of embarrassment run through him. He had been so wired up these past days with Brendan in the house. Not in a bad way, but seeing him, feeling his presence, fuck, even catching the scent of his aftershave and sweat was driving Ste insane. He had never been this attracted to anyone, and of course it had to be a straight guy working for him. The night before he had been able to resist his urges, biting his knuckles rather than touching himself while Brendan was in a room above him. But last night he had to do something or he would have thrown himself to Brendan and made a complete fool of himself.
So instead he had escaped to the shower hoping the cool water would have helped. Instead his mind had circled back to how good Brendan had looked while running, the way his body moved. Those arms which looked strong and safe. There was a tattoo on his right arm, Ste had seen parts of it peaking under Brendan's t-shirts, and he had closed his eyes and imagined running his finger tips over it, feeling the muscles underneath his touch. He had stroked himself picturing Brendan's hands on him instead of his own, how that beard would feel against his skin, against Ste's lips. He had never kissed anyone with beard before, but that hadn't stopped his imagination running wild while his hand got more urgent. With Noah Ste had always felt like trapped, but the idea of being weighed down under Brendan's bigger frame didn't scare him, but instead made him ache with the need to feel completely owned.
Now Ste hoped the sound of water and him biting down to his hand had been enough to muffle the sounds which he had made while he came. After he had got his legs back Ste had just rinsed off the evidence and thrown himself on the bed, completely exhausted.
Ste realised he had been staring two polo shirts for a good while, and forced his thoughts away from Brendan and focused on getting dressed instead. Once he was done and pleased how he looked he made his way to the kitchen.
Of course Brendan was already there. He had abandoned his casual clothes too and had dressed up in a white shirt and dark grey suit trousers. Ste tried not to look the way those shirt buttons were fighting to stay closed against that broad chest or the dark hairs peeking from the top where the first button had given up and hang open.
"Hiay." Ste hoped he didn't look as flushed as he felt, or if he did Brendan would blame it for the excitement over the photo shoot. "I'm sorry I slept late, have you had anything to eat?"
"I did, yeah. Made you some coffee." Brendan indicated towards the cup on the island. "Hope it's not gone cold yet. You slept okay then? Must have done you good after the couple days you've had."
"Yeah." Ste quickly took a sip of his coffee. "This is lovely, ta."
"Two sugars and splash of milk." Brendan smiled. "I remember."
"Anyway," Ste said quickly, "the group should be here soon, so I can start baking the breads and stuff, and there's like loads of things coming up which you can eat after they've taken pictures of it and what ever, if you're still hungry."
"Sounds good. About that, Steven, you want me to stay here during the..?"
"Yeah, of course. If you want to, I mean."
"I was just thinking... What are you going to say to them? About me?" and when Ste gave him a confused look Brendan continued "I mean do you want them to know you have a bodyguard now or..?"
"Oh." Ste hadn't even thought about it. Now when Brendan mentioned it, it could be bit strange for random people, regarding that Ste wasn't so famous after all. It might come off very strange indeed, and Ste wasn't into needing to explain everything again. "We can.. Say you're my mate, staying over, eh? Just for now, I'm not.. I don't want anyone to talk about it."
"Sounds good. And stops the rumors going around too, I think."
It was dead on ten when the door bell rang, just like last time. Ste wasn't surprised, the hours he spent with Doug had shown that he was very precise. He went to open the door and greet the group, they were the same people than last time so it wasn't as nerving than earlier. They made their way to the kitchen carrying their stuff. Doug hang behind a little, and smiled nervously to Ste.
"Hi, you've been good?"
"Yeah." Ste didn't feel he could just drop in the whole stalker bomb to him. "Busy weekend, that's all."
"I kinda figured, when you.. I mean I wasn't expecting... But I was kinda hoping you would have text me about the..." Doug looked awkward and Ste's heard sank a bit.
"Oh God, yeah, sorry, I was supposed to, wasn't I, it's just, one thing happened after another and I forgot. Sorry."
"It's okay, maybe you can make it up to me?" Doug smiled when they followed rest of the group to the main area. Then his smile faltered a little and Ste followed his gaze to Brendan who hang around near the couches while the crew were setting up lights and stuff throwing curious glances towards him.
"Right, so, everyone, that's Brendan, he's me mate, he, err, needed a place to stay for a while so I hope it's okay that he's hanging around." Then Ste gave Doug a little nudge on a shoulder. "I speak to you after the shoot, yeah?"
After that it was a buzz again. The crew moved around the ready doughs he had, looked the best lighting and surroundings, added some strange stuff like oranges or candles next to them to make them more appealing, asked Ste to hold the containers they were resting or kneading them to get the good pictures. Once he had actually baked them it was the same thing, cutting the hot breads open and smothering them with butter so they could get a picture of it melting on the fresh bread and so on. Once all the breads and buns were done Ste started to make the desserts, trying to look natural as possible. The crew was as great as it was the last time, chatting and laughing, almost making Ste forget how bizarre the whole situation was. He couldn't help noticing that Brendan had hardly moved from the other end of the room, where he stood and kept an eye over what was going on. It made Ste feel even more self conscious, he could only imagine how stupid this whole thing looked for Brendan.
"So, Ste, what are you doing next?" Doug has a punch of papers in his hands where he kept making notes about the dishes and in which order they were made.
"The vanilla and apple pudding." The ingredients were already on the worktop and one of the girls were arranging them for the photographer to get the best shot. Once it looked like they were done Ste started to work, slicing the apples, mixing up the dry ingredients while Doug was explaining something about the publication process to him.
Ste heard a laugh and when he lifted up his gaze he saw how one crew member, Jem, was it, had made her way to Brendan for a chat. He couldn't hear what they were talking about, but she was laughing and playing with her hair while giving Brendan intense looks, and Brendan had tilted his head a bit and saying something what clearly made her blush.
"Ste, you're bleeding." Doug's voice cut through.
Ste looked down on his hands. He had cut his finger while opening the vanilla bean, and now there was blood all over it.
"Shit." The pain started soon as he had noticed the wound, but he was pretty used to accidents like this. Doug however looked pretty shocked by the amount of blood when he tried to wrap some tissues around Ste's finger to stop the bleeding.
"Move. Move!" Brendan was suddenly there, elbowing Doug out of the way and grabbing Ste's hand, hold it upright and pressing the tissues tight. "Take that camera off my face."
"Sorry" the photographer moved back and Doug told everyone to take a break.
"You okay, Ste?" He tried to pipe in but Brendan was blocking his way to Ste.
"I'm fine. This happens to me all the time in Tony's. Seriously, Brendan, let go, it's fine." He snatched his hand away from Brendan but soon as the pressure from the wound was off it started bleeding again. The tissues were soaking red.
"Come here." Brendan took hold of his wrist again and pulled Ste to the sink, put the water run cold and held Ste's hand under the stream. "Jesus, almost took your finger off."
"I'm fine." Ste tried to pull his hand off again but Brendan was ready this time and his grip was firm. So he just stood there, arm pressed against Brendan's and despite the cold water hitting his hand he was feeling hot. After a while Brendan closed the tap, grabbed some clean tissues and padded the cut carefully dry. It seemed the worst bleeding was over.
"Where's your bandaids?"
"On that cupboard. No, the next one." Ste thought it was pointless trying to argue, so he stayed put when Brendan wrapped a plaster over the finger. "Happy now?" He asked when Brendan finally seemed pleased and let go of his hand.
"You need to be more careful." Brendan said while looking serious.
"Ermm, Ste?" Ste had almost forgot Doug and rest of the crew. "Are you okay? Can we continue or you want us to come back another day?"
"Don't be silly, it's just a small cut, I'm fine." Ste tried to smile at him as reassuring as he could. "Just let me clean the worktop so we can go on."
"It's already been taken care of." Doug said and it was only then when Ste noticed that the crew had cleared off the blood and got fresh ingredients out there.
"Right, let's keep on going then." Brendan had already returned to his place near the couches and Ste picked up the knife again.
It took him a moment to get back in the right kind of head space, but eventually the familiarity of cooking took over and few hours later Doug was pleased with the amount of pictures and called it a wrap. While the crew was collecting their stuff Ste went to talk to him.
"All good then yeah? Everything ready for printing?"
"Looks like it. The editors have already started to crack on with the photos we took earlier and soon as this lot is processed it should be quick assembly. The E-book is planned to get out in couple of weeks."
"So soon." Ste's head was spinning, he still couldn't believe all this. He shook himself out of it. "Err, Doug, about that drink..."
"Listen, Ste, I don't want to get in a way of anything, so forget I ever asked, okay." Doug looked embarrassed and hurt, quickly starting to put on his notes away.
"What? I thought you wanted to." Ste was confused.
"I do. But I thought..." Doug shot a look towards Brendan.
"No, Doug, you got it all wrong. He's just me mate. Seriously," Ste reassured when Doug gave him a sceptical look, "Brendan's straight, he's just.. very protective over me. There's nothing going on between us, I swear. If you still want that drink I'm happy to go." Somehow Ste felt like he was half lying, but he was determined to get over about his thoughts of Brendan. A date should do the trick.
"Okay. If you're sure. Is Friday okay?" There was hope in Doug's eyes and Ste nodded.
"Friday's good."
The crew was making their way out, shouting their goodbyes as Ste waved them off. Doug picked up last of his stuff, and Ste walked him to the door, Brendan following their trails.
"It was nice to meet you, Brendan." He said bravely. Brendan stared down at him, towering above him.
"You too, Douglas."
"I'll text you," Doug said to Ste before leaving, and Ste pushed the door closed behind him. He was feeling exhausted.
"You okay?"
"Yeah." Ste turned to look Brendan who stood in the hall studying him intently. "Are you okay with take away? I'm too tired to cook anything anymore."
"S'fine."
Ste had some brochures of restaurants close by, and they agreed to go for a Chinese food. Brendan phoned in their order and while they waited it to arrive Ste went through the breads and desserts, deciding what would be good to freeze and which they should eat while fresh.
When the food arrived Brendan answered the door and before Ste even realised he had also paid the food.
"I'll owe you," he said while they dug in their dishes. It was nice to have something salty after tasting sweet stuff all day. He only managed about half of his meal and stuck the rest in the fridge, where as Brendan had finished all of his and didn't say no when Ste offered him some pudding for dessert.
"You have some sauce on your sleeve." Ste noticed the stain against the white fabric while handing Brendan the spoon for his sweet treat. He got a wet tissue, took hold of Brendan's arm and tried to wipe it off, before realising the stain was already dried on, and it was no sauce.
It was his blood from earlier, dripped from his finger into Brendan's shirt.
"Leave it, Steven." Brendan's voice was soft and low.
"I'm sure there's some trick to get it off. Soda or something."
"It's fine. Collateral damage."
Suddenly Ste realised how close they were and that he was still holding Brendan's arm. He quickly let go and went to bin the tissue. The memories of sensations hit him, warm skin against his, the firm grip of Brendan's hand on his wrist, how he couldn't get off no matter how hard he tried. Or did he even want to get away?
Ste was pretty sure he would need another long shower tonight.