One Wrong Note
by:deceivingpurplehimesama
Part 4
***January 1, a year ago ***
Kahoko has been crying since Len had left last night. She's been trying to call him through his cell phone and through the phone in his apartment, but she gets nothing but unanswered calls.
She knew it was her fault and that she had crushed his heart with what she did last night. And she regretted it, the moment she saw the deep sadness in his eyes.
She honestly wanted to say Yes, she'd been wanting and waiting for that day when Len would finally tell her he wants to spend the rest of his life with her because she wants to spend the remaining days of her life with him. But that would be too unfair for Len. She can't just rob him with his freedom for her own selfish reasons and leave him broken in the end.
By lunch, she had to pull herself together, to find the strength she needed to see him. She showered and changed. This would be the first time she'd look through the mirror again.
"Would I look like this for the next days of my life?" She thought, touching her face.
She looked ghostly, with her pale skin and the deep dark color under her eyes. The bruises had found its way on her shoulders and her neck. This reminded her of the inevitable truth that everything was coming to an end. That her frail body was going to give up soon even if she wanted to stay strong and go on.
"Len doesn't deserve a weakling like me in his life... He deserves someone stronger to fill his life... Len does not deserve a love that would leave him before forever could even start... He deserves a love that could last and outlast forever... He deserves the best and not someone less than the best... I am not that someone and I could never be that someone..." Kahoko was too deep in her thoughts that she had not noticed she had reached Len's apartment.
Her heart beat became frantic. She felt like this was her first performance in front of the crowd.
"I can do this..."She thought aloud, breathing in and out deeply before knocking at the door.
3 knocks.
She waited.
No answer.
She knocked another three.
She waited.
But, still no answer.
"Len..." She called, but still there was no answer. She checked the knob; it was unlocked. She opened the door slowly, it was dark inside and the stench of alcohol greeted her. "Len..." She called out again, but still got no answer.
She walked through the hall and into his bedroom. Her instincts were right. He was there, wasted and hugging an almost empty bottle of whiskey, slumped at the bottom of his bed.
She knelt by his side and pushed his hair away from his face to check whether he was awake or not. He was, half awake and half dozed off. His eyes were dark and expressionless. He has been crying as well.
Kahoko was not sure whether he was aware of her presence or he was too drunk to realize she was even there.
"Len..." She whispered his name.
It made him stir, but Len was not sure whether this was real or just a fragment of his drunken mind. He had not slept and he has been drinking his new found lover, the whiskey.
"I'm a fool..." He uttered groggily, his breath wreaking with alcohol.
"Len, sleep on your bed now..." Kahoko was slowly getting the bottle from him, but Len suddenly gripped it tighter.
"What do you think you're doing?" Len was eating up his words, his voice coming out like a rough whispered litany in some alien language. Kaho was not even sure how she managed to understand him.
"Len, please, just let me..." Her voice was pleading, but Len was too intoxicated to even care. Len pushed her away not wanting her anywhere near him. Whether this was real or not, he just can't bear the sight of Kaho. It keeps his heart tearing apart again and again.
However, Kahoko was not one to give up. Tears had started rolling from her eyes. She went nearer Len again and held the whiskey with both her hands. "Len, please listen to me... Just give me the bottle and sleep properly. I don't want to see you like this."
Len looked her way and she thought she had reached him. However, when their eyes have met, Kahoko felt the distance Len and she had when they first met. They were strangers again.
"You don't want to see me like this?" He was harshly pointing his finger in on his chest and his other hand still gripping the bottle. "You've done this, all of this and you deserve to see it..." Len had stood up, wobbling.
"You've wrecked me like this a million times after you broke my heart last night and now you come here telling me you don't want to see me like this? That's pathetic, Kaho... " Len was pouring out every single thing in his thoughts. This was what alcohol made him, a talkative fool.
He then gulped the remaining liquid in the bottle and the next thing Kaho knew, Len had passed out. Luckily, he had fallen on top of his bed.
Kahoko felt guilty and had thought everything that Len had said awhile ago was right. That gave her more reason to stay with him and wait till he is sober.
They must talk. That's the very least she could do.
It was already 3:00 in the afternoon when Len finally woke up. His head was aching and everything around him looked like they were turning. He wondered if Kahoko was really here that morning or that really was just a dream.
Then he smelled something. That familiar sweet and spicy flavor. "Am I still drunk?" He thought to himself. But of course, he knew the answer.
He realized the episodes that morning were not a product of his drunken imagination. She was here and she's still here.
He pulled himself out of the bed and the pain of the hangover heightened. But he cared less. He was dragging his body to the kitchen, where she was cooking, but he felt something coming out of his mouth that made him sprint to the rest room.
Kahoko heard that. "He's awake..." She thought. She ran to the rest room and knocked softly at the door. "Len? Are you okay?"
"Yeah..." Len uttered briefly. He continued vomiting, hating that he had drowned himself with the whiskey. As if that would change the fact that the only woman you have ever loved dumped you.
"The soup is almost done... You better take a shower and change." Kahoko uttered. She waited for his response but there was none. She just heard the toilet flushed. Len didn't come out. She then heard the water run. She busied herself preparing his clothes and finishing the soup.
After what had happened last night, they're not supposed to see each other. She is not supposed to be here. However, Kahoko was one that defies everything that she is supposed to do.
Len came to the kitchen fully dressed and smelling with mint to drown the foul alcoholic odor in the air.
He stared at her, not saying anything. "The soup will make you feel better." Kahoko uttered as she served him a bowl.
He didn't say a word and just sat across her. He was still staring at her, wanting to know what she was thinking.
"Len..." Kaho tried to start.
"Could we at least stop pretending we care?" Len uttered coldly. Those were not the words he wanted to come out of his mouth, but it came out as naturally as breathing.
"I am not pretending. I do care, much more than you believe I do... I can't let you become a disaster... You're too perfect for that. Len, listen to me... I love you, but it just can't be. " Kaho tried to rest her palms on Len's hands, but he harshly pulled it away. She's trying to reach him, but he simply wants to distance himself.
"Kahoko, if this is just your conscience bugging you spare me the pity, I don't need that. Everyday of our yesterday was painted with the forever we wanted and when I asked you to start that painted dream, you suddenly bail out... Am I not supposed to feel f**ked up, Hino? Am I not a fool to be having this conversation with you right now when I know you're not going to tell me the reason why you can't marry me..." Len still sat across her, but Kaho felt like her virtuoso had created a great distance between them.
"Len..." But she was hushed when his piercing cold eyes looked straight at her. "Leave..." That was the end of it.
***end of flashback***
"I know I shouldn't have come..." She knelt in front of her clutching the coldness that Len believed was his doing.
The virtuoso was crying.
Author's note: Waaaahhhh! I'm really really sorry for the late update, I was too caught up with school work. But I hope you continue to support this. Just a little more patience, I promise...
For everyone, who placed this in their favorite and alert list I can't thank you enough. For those who read this and those who commented, it means a world to me. Again thank you and see you in the next chapter.
Keep me inspired :*
Lovelots