*IMPORTANT NOTICE* This chapter very briefly mentions (about 10 paragraphs down) the following possibly triggering topics: depression, self harm, suicide.

If you might be triggered by those words occurring in this story, please skim that part or do what you best know you need to do in order to avoid any negative reactions. Thank you! Stay strong my dear readers, you're the best.

I have been in my room for an hour.

Nobody has come to my door.

I've made my resolution to not love Elsa; I've stopped crying. Now I've been waiting silently for a knock, a blank expression on my face. Many thoughts try to swirl through my head – about sisters, about fighting, about love, about jealousy –but I keep them out with one enormous, all-consuming thought. Elsa is not mine to love.

Elsa is not mine to love.

Elsa… is not… mine… to love.

I am repeating this to myself, trying not to think about anything else, not to feel about anything else, but another thought manages to slip through a crack in my defenses.

Nobody has come to my door.

I can feel new tears prickling, getting ready to form without permission. Nobody has come to my door. I have been in my room for an hour. I'd stormed out of the kitchen in an outwardly – dangerously – depressed fashion and no one has come to check on me.

Maybe they're actually doing what I suggested and they're in deep discussion about whatever they were arguing about. That's great. That's what I told them I wanted them to do. But is it too much to ask that they hear the desperation in my voice? That they hear the meaning behind my choked words? That they realize that maybe their daughter has been hurt by their actions more than she's letting on?

How could they let me storm off like that? How could they leave me alone for so long after an outburst like the one I had?

What if I was diagnosed with depression? Would they have worried then?

What if I was one to self-harm? I could have bled out by now.

What if I was suicidal? It's been an hour and they've done nothing to stop me from stopping myself.

While I am none of these things, I can't stop thinking…I know people who are, who hide it from everyone around them; their families have no clue. Parents just can't afford to take risks like this! Forget about privacy, shouldn't you check on your daughter that left half-way through dinner almost crying? Because of you?! Make sure she's alright?

What did I ever do to my parents to make them like this? I love them! I thought they loved me! Why haven't they just come to my fucking room?! I grab at my hair in frustration, confused tears freely rolling down my cheeks once more. Clutching at my scalp, I roll in my bed, kicking my feet wildly, releasing an anguished cry, far louder and uglier than I could have imagined coming from my own throat. The sobs that follow are even worse; they are uncontrollable cries of pure injury, racking my body until I can't breathe between each feral cry; my lungs are at the mercy of my feelings, and my feelings are hurt. Why haven't they come?

It is in the middle of this blind frenzy of involuntary cries ripping through the lonely air that I receive a knock at my door. Of course I can't hear it over this wailing and hiccupping, these endless animalistic screams of emotional agony, but that is permission enough. Elsa lets herself in.

By this point, I'm in a ball on my side, legs tense at my ribs, hands locked on the wrinkled sheets near my face, which is pressed into the bed, caught in that twisted, mouth open, sobbing state. I can't see anything – my eyes feel swollen shut, the still-flowing tears blocking out anything I have hope of seeing.

My body is stiff as my sister wordlessly climbs on the bed and takes my arms in her hands, carefully detaching me from the sheets and redirecting me to her soft frame. A rough scream releases itself from my throat as I wrap my arms around her and bury my messy face in her shoulder, in her hair. I'm holding on so tight; my high-pitched, short-of-breath wailings are muffled by her hair now. But I remember the reason for these newer sobs and cry harder still.

Breathing is difficult, but I try to force out words. They are far higher in pitch than I could accomplish on purpose if I tried, but I can't help it. My throat won't stay open. "You…" A sob rips through. But this has to be said. "You came… You finally came." With that, I collapse in her arms, no longer able to hold myself to her. Elsa's arms are strong as she grips me close, holding my weak body up entirely on her own as I helplessly cry into her chest.

"Of course," Elsa breathed. "Of course I came. I've got you, Anna." Her breath hitched. "I've got you now." Cold fingers pet my hair repetitively, soothing me with every soft stroke.

Neither of us moves for a very long time.

Eventually my breathing calms and I have no more tears left to cry. My eyes are closed and all my focus is on Elsa's gentle fingers, still at work on my scalp, tracing invisible patterns through my hair. Nothing has felt more relaxing…more intimate…than this.

With a groggy voice, rough from sobbing so harshly, I say, "Did- did you talk to them?"

Elsa's hand pauses for a moment, but continues its motion. "Yes. We talked through everything. We're okay now." I wonder if she'll go on, and I want to ask why they were keeping it from me at all, but just then she continues, "I'm going to tell you about it soon, Anna. Not tonight. But we'll talk soon. I don't want to keep this from you, I never meant to, okay? I never meant to." Elsa is back to cradling me close to her chest and I find the strength to sit up on my own to return her embrace. She was obviously struggling with this.

Suddenly I'm overwhelmed by all the serious feelings in the air and it's hard to breathe. I've had enough of this bullshit for one night. I sit up straight with a purpose and clear my throat. "You know what we need, Els? We need to do something fun! I cried tonight and you know how much I fucking hate crying, and you were fighting with mom and dad all day, and that's just the worst." I have her attention. She wasn't expecting the change of attitude, but she's listening with interest. "We need to have fun tonight so that tomorrow…" I grab her hands, "we're all raring to go and have a wonderful day!" I force our hands together in a clap. "So… do you wanna build a snowman…?" The goofy expectant smile on my face waits for the inevitable 'yes.'

Instead my sister has to be all logical and raise her eyebrows in confusion. "Anna, it's like eight o'clock at nigh-"

"-So?" I interrupt, still pumped up. And there's no deflating me when I'm pumped up. "It'll be dark and cold and so much fun! We've never played in the snow in the dark before! Come on! Let's go and play!"

Not waiting for another negative response, I leap off my bed and drag Elsa all the way to the back door.

"Anna! Anna, wait. I will, okay? I'll build a snowman with you. But aren't you forgetting something…?" Elsa gives me a pointed look.

What could I have forgotten? Elsa opens the door and a rush of freezing air bursts into the house. "Clothes!" I yell, already running back to my room. "Well, winter clothes, I mean. I'm wearing clothes! Just not… the right… shit, never mind."

So… it's midnight and the four of us are stumbling back into the bright, warm house after having an absolute blast outside in the snow.

After Elsa and I had bundled up, I convinced Mom and Dad to do the same and join us.

Okay, by 'convinced' I might actually mean 'forcibly put their arms into the sleeves of their coats and then pulled on them until they'd get up from their cozy spots on the couch and follow us outside,' but really, once we got out there I can definitely say we all enjoyed it. It was truly the best way we could have ended the day. All the brokenness that had presented itself from the argument has been healed in the form of endless laughter, snowmen, and dark-as-shit snowball fights.

Well forget 'fights.' This was an all-out war! My dad and I were on one team, with Elsa and my mom on the other. We built military trenches and built up ammunition, taking probably a half an hour in preparation before the first battle.

The sides were pretty even. Dad has a good arm, he was like, essentially a cannon, just launching those mothafucking snowballs right at the enemy. Ha! Well actually, it's not like he could see them, but the shrieks gave him a good idea of where to aim.

And Elsa… I swear that girl's got like… some sort of affinity for snow or something! She just shoots these perfectly-formed snowballs right where she wants them to go, it's practically magical. And the way she makes snowmen, it's like she's giving them personalities of their own – I mean, it might just be her artistic tendencies bleeding into her playtime in the snow; gotta make everything just perfect and unique and all that… But it's still just really incredible to watch her interact with the winter weather. She's certainly not bothered by how cold it is out there. Yeesh. I'm practically an icicle at this point!

Anyway, in our snowball war, we ended up completing four battles and finishing in a tie, 2-2. We would have done a tie-breaker but my dad looked at his watch and realized it's far past everyone's bedtime.

We shall simply have to continue some other time.

Be warned, dear mother, dear sister. This war is not over yet! Muahaha!

As we settle down for bed, taking off our drenched, freezing clothes, I'm thinking about Elsa. Well, of course. When am I not thinking about Elsa anymore? But I'm thinking really hard about Elsa. Because when I was alone in my room with all those negative thoughts, yeah, I convinced myself to let her go, to try to stop these perverted feelings before they get too much worse… But that was then, and I was just consumed by all those dark thoughts; now that I've got a clear head again and I'm not crying anymore, and we've had a good time tonight, I'm just not sure I can physically not love her.

I don't think I'm strong enough to fight these feelings.

I was foolish to believe I could stop myself from falling for her. Just a few hours have passed and it's already clear to me that this force is powerful. Strange. And it's love.

And when she held me in my room it was like nothing else existed, nothing else mattered.

That's not what it's supposed to be like with sisters.

But it is. With us.

I can't deny it anymore.

I won't deny it anymore.

Whatever happens happens. There's nothing I can do to stop it, so I'm not even gonna keep trying.

There's a soft knock at my door. It is unfortunately not sufficient in waking me up when I'm in my deep, slobbery, snoring, Anna-sleep. Except I don't snore.

Pound. Pound.

"Anna!"

I sit up with a snort, eyes still closed. "What?! Is the strom here already, I don't wanna die."

"…what… Anna, no. There's no storm… But wake up! It's 11 o'clock, Sister Saturday is almost half over and you're still in there, sawin' logs."

I'm drifting back to sleep but I try really hard to open my eyes to think about what she just said. I yawn loudly and pat my open mouth. "System… Tasurday… Sister Saturday!" My eyes flash open. "Oh my gosh it's Saturday! Elsa, is that you?"

"Yes, Anna, it's me," Elsa says from the other side of the door. I can tell she's laughing.

"This isn't funny, Elsa! You let me waste away half the day?" I haul my ass out of bed and grab the clothes I set out last night. "You are wearing your Finding Nemo outfit, aren't you?"

"…Yes. I am. I wouldn't make the same mistake twice, dear sister."

"Elsa, you really need to work better on hiding your laughter. I can hear it in your voice."

"Whatever you say, Anna." I hear her pat the door a few times. "Well, hurry and get ready; it's almost time for brunch and mom made us chocolate chip pancakes."

Pancakes! Chocolate? Aw, yiss! I fist-bump-explode-fingers my life-size Han$ poster and take a moment to swoon at the devilishly attractive rapper on my wall. Oh, the day I get tickets to a Han$ concert or if I ever get to meet him… that will be the day my life is changed forever. My eyes flutter as I place a hand on my chest. Those ginger sideburns, oh mama!

I shriek as I - sort of - lose my balance because I accidentally closed my eyes, and I fall sideways toward the wall. Luckily, I catch myself by way of Han$' rock-hard biceps. Ooo lala, gimme some of that! Damn fella, you done work out! Taking time to stroke them, I slowly push myself off the wall and think about actually getting ready.

Right. Clothes. Elsa. Fun!

Giddy now, I pull on my Finding Nemo clothes with barely-containable excitement. Sister Saturday! I struggle to get the blue, bubble-patterned shorts on due to my intense hip wiggling. I just can't control my hips when I start getting our Sister Saturday Original Theme Song stuck in my head. I wrote it myself. Elsa loves it! In fact, she suggested that I only sing it once a year because it'll keep it that much more special. Maybe today's the day!… Wait, fuck, it's only February. Nope, I'll have to wait a few more months.

I attempt to do something with my hair but there's really not much to be done without a shower and/or magical powers, so I do the next-best thing and put it into two long braids. There, perfect! With a glance in the mirror I smile at how wonderfully my hair is complimented by the orange Nemo on my baggy shirt. Actually, it probably clashes but who the fuck cares? We gingers gotta embrace every color of the rainbow! My sister's matching top features Dory, really bringing out Elsa's gorgeous blue eyes.

With that, I'm ready, and I skip out my door to follow the mouth-watering chocolatey aroma leading me to the kitchen where my family awaits me – with pancakes!

With four bellies full of pancakes and all the yummy deliciousness of the marvelous breakfast Mom cooked, the only possible way to spend the afternoon is to play board games as a family in the living room. Obviously.

So here we are, on the bluish shag carpet, sitting in teams. This time, since it's Sister Saturday and everything, it's us against Mom and Dad. We know it is completely unnecessary to play in teams at games like Candy Land and Scrabble, but it's fucking fun! So we do it anyway.

Right now we're starting off with a few games of Candy Land; it's always a great, easy way to get our heads in the game, as well as unleash the competitive beasts we all have inside us. Seriously, this game is at the skill level of a 3 year old but you can never be too old to throw a tantrum when someone else draws the card that shoots them halfway up the pathway.

Unless it's you that gets that card – then it's maniacal laughter and happy dances all the way to the finish! Well… minimal happy dances, because with too much wiggling Elsa might kick me off her lap and there's no place I'd rather be sitting. She's cross-legged on the carpet, leaning back on her hands while I sit in her little lap-chair and draw the cards and move our game piece further and further ahead of our parents'.

As I land us on the last space for the second time in three games, I throw my hands up like a touchdown. "And the tiebreaker round goes to the Amundsen sisters! What a game, people. What a game." I laugh and roll sideways off my sister's lap to get the next game. Quickly checking the three faces around me to ensure that everyone is having fun, I grab the box for Scrabble. Elsa looks like she's enjoying herself, although I notice the fleeting look of longing she sends me for vacating my seat. My heart gets offbeat from the realization that yes, she does want me right there with her, just as much as I want her. With a shy little smile, I send her back that gaze of desire through my turquoise eyes – whether I meantto or not.

"Miss Anna," Dad says, picking up the Candy Land card deck, "We kind of need to clean up one game before we move on to the next,"

"Yeah, yeah," I say waving him off. "That's a job for the three of you while I set up Scrabble. It's for efficiency's sake, I promise."

If I'm good for one thing in this family, it's the comedic relief. They all laugh and I feel extremely powerful in that moment. Yes. Funny. Me. I am comedy.

We play some Scrabble but not for too long; it always sort of turns into arguments over whether something is a word or not. Like, sure, my dad can play 'ubiquitous' off of the word 'quit' and that's fine but then he claims 'beautifuller' is not a word? What the fuck, Dad? That just proves how messed up this world is.

I'm still kind of hung up on that as we move on to play Monopoly as individuals. I don't even call out Elsa (the banker) for sneaking herself extra money throughout the never-ending game. I notice but I just don't say anything. Hey, if it'll help Dad not win, I'm okay with it being our little secret. Payback's a bitch, dear Father. Someday you'll learn not to mess with my competitive side.

But today is not that day.

The main reason I'm rooting for Elsa to win is because, out of the two of us, she actually has a chance. She cheats stealthily and actually thinks about the decisions she makes. She, like, plans it out. I do not do that. I just take every fucking opportunity. I take chances. I spend all my money on things that end up getting me absolutely nothing in return. I never win in the end, but in this particular game I'm here for the good times in the middle (and to watch Elsa cheat like a pro and win by a mile). (And just to watch Elsa in general).

The defeated look on my dad's face when Elsa beats all our asses is worth every moment of barely being able to choke back the words "Elsa's cheating!" But I was resilient and I held out. Elsa reigns victorious and it's glorious.

She is the Queen of Monopoly.

Now that we have 'wasted' the afternoon away playing games, it's about 4:00, time for our parents to leave for their meeting/supper. They get their paperwork-things together and take them out to the car.

When they come back to the front door Elsa and I each give them a hug as anticipatory thoughts of the next few hours race through my mind. At the same time, Mom's last minute reminders to stay safe, remember to eat, look for the pizza in the freezer, etc. run through one ear and out the other.

"Yeah, okay, mom. We know. Have fun at your meeting!" I say, holding her tight for a second. I can smell her amber perfume and I smile with the memories that scent washes up to the surface.

Elsa opens the door again for them. "Drive safely, and see you around ten?"

"Oh!" I quickly exclaim, "Tie-breaker for the snowball war when you guys get home tonight!"

"Anna-"

"No point in protesting, it'll happen, Dad," I say with promise.

"We'll see," He grins his crinkly-eye grin, my favorite. It's totally happening tonight.

I smile back with glee and the two of them make their way back out to car. Elsa and I wave from the picture window as they back the car out and drive away down the street.

Once they're out of sight, we take a collective deep breath and turn to face each other. I can't physically prevent the face-splitting grin that lights up my face to match the one I'm staring at. Our gazes are locked and the excitement is spilling out everywhere, from our sparkling eyes, from our smiles, from our now joined hands, ugh, just from everywhere.

Sister Saturday – Night Edition – has begun!

****Hey guys, me again! I just wanted to say thanks for making it through to the end of this roller coaster of a chapter. All of your views, follows, favorites, and (especially) reviews literally mean the world to me. Thank you so much for showing interest in my story, it's the best motivation there could ever be!

With that, let me tell you: buckle your seatbelts for chapter 5 folks, or if you don't have seatbelts, I'd suggest you at least find something sturdy to hold on to, and you damn well might need to sit down. :) Happy Sunday Night/Monday! :)