Chapter 4

Julian was dream walking. Ever since Jenny had created a dream for him and called him into existence in this world – of dreams rather than shadows – he could come and go between dreams as he pleased…well…sort of… He needed the person dreaming to create a bridge to Jenny's dream, the world Julian inhabited, and call him across.

It obviously didn't happen with any great frequency. Occasionally one of Jenny's friends would dream about what he had done to them all those years ago and over he would visit, often out of boredom. It was a risky game to play. He wouldn't be able to go back to Jenny unless she called him. He was relying heavily on that.

It hadn't happened for a while. They had let their memories fade like photographs left too long in the sun and the exciting experiences of college or employment were keeping their minds thinking forward rather than back.

Jenny hadn't forgotten though. Jenny still came. He was glad. She would come bursting into the dream with sunlight and honey, eyes alight, bringing with her new places and new people. She would tell him all about them as she spun new things in this world she'd made. He would watch her and listen and absorb her goodness like the sun after a long, dark winter. He loved her so much his chest ached with the weight. College suited her. She had cast off any clinging shadows of who people thought she was and now she was new. Tougher, kinder, stronger, gentler, more loveable, more beautiful, more everything. His Jenny. Except she wasn't. He fought with the feeling. She didn't like his attitude to Tom being there with them in the dream. She said it made the air too thick, like smoke, so he tried to let it blow away.

Tommy Boy. Off at a different college. Julian wondered what he was doing, whether he was keeping himself trustworthy. He could just about swallow Jenny being with the Boy, so long as he kept her first in his heart. Jenny didn't deserve anything less.

Jenny wouldn't talk about Tom except to say they spoke every night; Julian had decided it was time to pay Tom a visit himself. It wasn't easy waiting for that opening though, knowing it might never come.

Julian was surprised when it did come. He felt the bridge form, heard his name called in that disgusted sneer that Tom had used about him, and over he walked, wondering what had triggered the call. He didn't know that in a new college with new people Tom had remained un-reminded until one fellow student introduced himself as Julian and he had felt it all come flooding back. He had fallen asleep that night with Julian on his mind.

Julian took a final step and knew he was in Tom's dream. The bedroom was strange and he realised it must be Tom's college room. Tom was on the bed with a girl. It didn't take long for Julian to realise he was watching one of those intimate dreams. He felt an acidic drop in his stomach that abruptly cleared when he noticed the girl's hair. He leaned back casually against the wall and watched for a moment; long enough for Tom to get irretrievably far with the girl and then Julian spoke.

"That isn't Jenny." A statement. Cold. Humourless. Deadly.

Tom froze. Slowly he lifted his head and fixed his eyes on Julian. The hatred and fear there told the ex-shadowman all he needed to know.

Abruptly the girl's image vanished.

"You." Tom said angrily. "Not so dead then."

"You." Julian responded with contempt. "Not so faithful."

Tom ignored him.

"How are you here?"

Julian ignored him back.

"The girl. Was that something that you want to happen or a replay of something that has already happened?"

He thought Tom was going to ignore him again, that maybe this back and forth would go on all night but clearly this last remark was requiring a defence.

"That didn't happen." Tom was staring his rival down.

Julian found himself faintly amused by Tom's attempt at stoic.

"Who was the girl then?"

"Someone on my course. A friend."

"Ah," Julian tilted his head knowingly and saw the anger flash through Tom.

"It is none of your business anyway. You're dead. Coming here to make me feel guilty. It was just a kiss." Julian realised a few things then with startling clarity. What he had just seen was no 'just-a-kiss', so something had happened with the girl back in reality, and secondly Tom didn't believe Julian was really there; just a figment of his guilty imagination.

Julian felt his own anger flare. The dream room becoming shadowy and menacing and suddenly Tom looked less sure of himself.

"I did not take her place with them so that you could treat her this way." There was a deepness to his voice, like ice in the dark. "Believe I'm real Tommy and I am here. She dreamed me a new dream, just like she said she would."

Guilt and fear flashed across Tom's face. Fear of being found out, that Julian would 'tell on him'. The shame of a little boy. In the next instant it was replaced with an anger of his own.

"Of course she did. You come here to make me feel guilty but she is probably doing worse with you every night."

Julian narrowed his eyes at Tom. "I am not allowed to touch her. The dream is hers. That is her rule."

Tom didn't back down though. "Then she is probably kissing other people. That's what you do at college."

Again Julian found himself wondering what Jenny saw in her boyfriend. "You stupid human. You little boy. Still so ignorant. Every night she comes to talk to me. I would know. She is faithful to you."

"Maybe it is you she is being faithful to," Tom spat.

Julian froze. He felt his stomach swoop and settle. Tom's eyes slowly widened as he realised what he had said, fearful of what the Shadowman might do if he thought Jenny interested.

"No…I didn't…"

It was too late though. The flicker of hope in Julian's chest had been fanned. He tried to dampen it. "We both know how unlikely that it," he whispered, pain in his voice. "For reasons I do not understand, she would rather be with you." His indescribably blue eyes flashed with anger. "So you better start making yourself worthy of her or step aside so someone else can." His voice dropped again dangerously. "She deserves better."

Julian turned to go, his warning hovering in the air, thick and menacing.

"Are you going to tell her?" The voice stopped him, small and afraid, not the kind of fear he had once fed on. This was guilt laced and worried.

The anger lanced though him and he clenched his fists involuntarily, slowly inhaled and exhaled ice crystals. They frosted on his lips and he brushed them away.

"No." He stated, voice controlled. "You are not a topic of conversation I am allowed to speak on, so you are safe from me, Tommy." He snarled her pet name for the boy with contempt. She had reduced him to this dream figure, unable to take what he wanted, to threaten and destroy as he pleased. He felt the resentment well up, as it always did when he was away from her light for too long, when the darkness tried to seduce him back.

He felt a tug in his chest, like a thread of light and it chased away the tendrils of darkness there. Jenny was calling him back. He was grateful to go.

"I may not be able to tell her," he said finally to Tom, the boy standing still uncertain whether to be angry, guilty, chastened or defensive, "but you should."

Julian felt the tug of the golden thread, her voice humming along it like honey as she called him, and he stepped out of Tom's dream onto the bridge back to her.