A/N: I am back! I know the last chapter left much to be desired, so I hope this one makes up for it! It's been a while, but I was caught up in a production of Nickolas Nickleby, by Charles Dickens, then I had to worry about getting acceptances from the schools I applied to, and then my big math final, then graduation… Then summer break, then new schools… The list goes on. But I'm back, and that's what counts! Also, we will be adding another member to our band of weirdoes today, oh wait, no. I lied. That's the next chapter… Oh well, that nugget will keep you coming back!

Molly had called an Akatsuki meeting. At four o'clock in the fucking morning. She was going down. Especially if Hidan had his way.

"Why the fuck are we having a meeting now! I need some fucking sleep you bitchy hag, and looking at that pile of shit you call a face is not going to give me pleasant fucking dreams!" The silver hair immortal lunged for the girls throat, swinging his scythe like a man possessed only to be knocked flat on his back by a foot in the face from the face from Kakuzu.

"Now that that idiot has been taken care of, I have a piece of business to discuss with you all." Began Molly, her hands folded neatly on the table in front of her. "You may or may not be aware of this, but Charlie's birthday is approaching at a rapid rate, and Jessica and I need your help."

"With what, you psycho bitch?" muttered Hidan, only to receive a medical needle through his left eye. "Damn it! Why the fuck are all you fucking whores so fucking pissy?" He yanked the needle out of his eye and spat unceremoniously on the ground, the girls just rolled their eyes.

"Ignoring that unseemly outburst," began Jessica as the heel of a stiletto boot ground into the soft flesh between the ribs of an immortal, leaving many wondering when Molly got so flexible, "while we are coming to you today to request your assistance in this matter, but do not delude yourselves into believing that you have any choice in your involvement in this affair."

The stony silence that met her words was broken by a cough from everyone's favorite body piercing ad. Pein rose.

"I believe we should humor the girls. This could be a good experience for all of you, I have noticed some tension between the members as of late, and this could help fix it."

"Hear hear!" cried Molly, surreptitiously attempting to cop a feel at her leaders rump only to find her wrist being held in a death grip by a paper arm. Glancing up, she grinned sheepishly at Conan.

Casting a disapproving look in Molly's direction, Jessica began speaking again. "Thank you Pein-sama. As Molly and I were saying, we have plans for Charlie's birthday, but they require your cooperation. The party will obviously be a surprise which shouldn't be too difficult seeing as Charlie may be the most oblivious person ever, but should she find out, I guarantee you we will find out who told her."

Deciding that Jessica had sufficiently terrified the criminals into silence, Molly took over the conversation. "There will be no particular theme to the party, but there will be the usual requirements. A cake for one," she paused to look around before hastily adding, "I will be taking care of all foods, assuming as no one wants to poison the birthday girl? Jessica is in charge of presents, each of you is required to give a gift—"

"What the fuck? When has the little bitch done shit for us?" So much for silence.

"—and you will run them by Jessica to ensure that they are appropriate. Conan is in charge of decorations, and the rest of you," she waved a dismissive hand at the lot "and manual labor."

As the group rose to return to their respective beds, Molly called out from the hall; "And we have a visitor arriving tomorrow, don't let his appearance fool you. Mess with him and he will kill you."

And with the promise of death hanging over them all, the Akatsuki went to bed.